I just finished reading a great three part blog over at babeland called “Do Straight Guys Like Anal?” Dallas started out writing about straight dudes, but has included a lot of info that’s relevant to anyone who’s interested in exploring back door sex. Here are her five keys to great anal play because I think are worthy of repeating:
Desire: Anal sex is really fun! But you have to want to do it. If you don’t, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy it. Being honest with yourself about what you’re into is important. Remember, too, that you can be a little nervous and still want to do something, just check in to see what you’re really thinking. Desire also means being aroused already before you start any intense anal play – just sticking a finger in right at the beginning may not feel as good as it will after some wonderful foreplay first. This holds true for a lot of things, not just anal play.
Trust: If you’re with someone else, you need to feel that you can trust that person to respect your needs and desires. Trying something new can be a little scary and having someone you trust will help.
Communication: Most of us think about communication as being with other people. This absolutely encompasses that. Saying “faster, slower, I need more Lube” etc is really important in anal play. However, you also need to listen to your ass. It will tell you what it feels ready for – so make sure you communicate with it too.
Relaxation: This can mean a lot of different things including the environment and cleanliness. We hold a lot of tension in our ass and hip area and it can sometimes be difficult to let that go but hopping in a bath or having a nice massage can be a great way to start to relax the body. Building up desire with foreplay also helps, as does using a vibrator or vibrating butt plug around the anus.
Lube: The ass doesn’t self lubricate so having lubrication around is an absolute must. I recommend a thick, gel-like lube like Maximus: it stays put and provides a lovely cushiony layer that really wines and dines your ass in the way that it likes. You could also try a silicone lube that won’t evaporate like Eros. This lube you can’t use with silicone toys, however.
I agree with these key considerations 100%. I think it’s important to realize that your beginning experiences with anal play will probably not resemble what you’ve seen in porn. At least not the movies, I’ve been watching!
For those of you who are visual learners, check out our review of Nina Hartley’s Guide to Anal Sex before learning from the master.
Read more over at Babeland’s Blog.
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Guys are funny about anal sex (in their butt)… so many are quick to say “ew, no way!”, but during sex some of them don’t seem to mind it so much…