Happy St. Patrick’s Day out there to all you lucky Irish folks and everyone else (including me) that is not as fortunate.  Sure, today is all about celebrating a patron saint, but hey, we can pretty much make anything dirty, so why not this too?  In honor of the holiday, we decided to pay a little hommage to the little imp that makes March 17th just a bit extra fun.  That’s right, the Leprechaun!  

As it turns out, Leprechaun porn just isn’t a high priority on the pornographer’s lists, and there really isn’t any.  Alas, I blew my load this morning and already wrote about the only Leprechaun movie we have, Catch Me If You Can!  But instead of calling the whole idea a wash, I decided to talk about my top five mythical creatures in porn, including the Leprechaun!  How’s that for making your own luck?!

Leprechaun: Alright, I really wanted leprechaun porn here, especially because it’s St.’s Patrick’s Day, but the only one I could find was the movie I already reviewed for today. Bummer! So instead, I decided to include this movie from Lepreporn. It’s all about the Emerald Isle and the studio’s name is Lepreporn! I know it’s no real substitute for a little guy in green with a pot of gold, but really what is?

Yeti: Holy crap, it’s a Yeti movie! You don’t hear too much about yetis these days, but this winter would not be complete without mention of at least one. While the movie is pretty hot and the location is amazing, The Porn Librarian really hit the nail on the head in her review of it from last year: “… I’m pretty sure I’m a more convincing yeti when I come out of the shower wrapped in my fuzzy brown towel than the costumed dude in this film…” Oh well, can’t win ‘em all. Definitely worth a watch whether you’re getting off or getting a laugh.

Troll: Not only is this troll grouchy and uncooperative, she is horny as hell. And green. Very very green. Sure trolls are usually known to be assholes… but sexy stoners too? Hey, as long as she keeps rubbing her little green clit and squirting her magical “sweat,” I’m okay with whatever else she does. I will say that I’m happy they stayed away from giving her a giant tuft of hair on her head though. I’m so glad the ‘90s are over.

Giants, Smurfs, Santa… Oh My!: This WTF flick has a little bit of everything packed into it’s hour and forty-five minutes. From Smurfs and the Jolly Green Giant, to Santa fucking his reindeer (don’t worry, they are only costumed humans!) and Pocahontas getting poked by a Colonial dude. What more could you ask for? This balls to the wall fuck fest is definitely something to see!

Mermaid: While Mermaids are absolutely mythical, magical creatures and usually super hot, I’m not sure I really get the sex appeal. I mean seriously, where is their vag? I guess it all comes down to transformation and getting themselves some real girl legs, with a pussy to match. At least that’s what happens in this hot, wet adventure. Being under the sea never looked so good!

Erinn Go Bragh!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

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