Welcome to our “Inside the Brain of a Porn Reviewer” Thursday post! These are stream of consciousness movie reviews that include all the weird comments I usually write down when I review, but drop by the time the post is ready to publish for all to see.

I know I can’t be the only one that’s excited that someone finally turned “Friends” into a porno spoof. I mean come on, the show was basically set up to be a porno without the sexin’! So many hook ups! Plus a window with a view of naked people in their apartments! Ok, fine, it was one ugly naked guy, but still, that beats the view that most New Yorkers get – the side of the building next door. Anyway, I’m excited so let’s get to it!

This week’s movie:

Friends – A XXX Parody Disc 1

The Scene:


Scene 4

Basic Idea (so you know what’s going on):
Remember that that show from the ’90s?  The one with all the friends sitting around a coffee shop?  Now add a bunch of raunchy sex and you’ve got it.

Or as the boxcover reads:
“Hilarity and deep penetration ensues when Freebie accidentally spills the beans about Monica’s bachelorette party, leading the boys to decide to throw a bigger and raunchier bachelor party. Finally, the show you always wanted to see naked… FRIENDS: A XXX PARODY is here!”

- The opening is AMAZING. I love the song! Gotta love the fountain dancing!

- Ok, I’m moving to Scene 4… I just really wanted to see the opening.

- Scene four – looks like we are in Jo and Shandler’s apartment and they are chillin’ out on some recliners and watchin’ tv.

-Oh wait! It’s a porno. Ha, it’s Joanna Angel! And James Deen! Awesome.

- Ha! That’s right Shandler, I didn’t think Deen’s formidable cock would ever fit in Joanna’s teeny pussy either. But it does!

- HAHAHA “It’s like rewinding a birthing video.” Gross…

- Ooh! Innuendo to Jo and Shandler getting busy! Me likey!

- Ha, I think that’s the first Bar Mitzvah reference I’ve ever heard in a porn.

- Ok, now I think we are in Moanica’s apartment, with Rochelle and Freebie.

- Ok, it’s Moanica’s bachelorette party. Bring on the… flan?

- Ha, I love that they are calling out the stupid penis crap at bachelorette parties. It’s so true.

- “Have you ever looked at those things? They look like Sea Monsters.” Oh Freebie!

- I love that Freebie is wearing glittering wieners on her head.

- Oooh, grabbing at Rochelle’s tits! Finally a little action!

- Yay, the stripper is here!

- Holy crap! Freebie invited ugly naked guy! That’s amazing!

- I love that the set really does resemble the real Friend’s apartment. Nice work New Sensations!

- OMG! It’s Evan Stone! With short hair! He looks so good!

- Why is he in a fire man uniform??

- Ha! He calls his penis “Shamu” because the spectators in the first five rows always end up wet. That is awesome.

- Kayla Paige just got the real Rachel’s face down perfectly. Nice work!

- Haha! He calls his balls “sweet” and “lo”!

- Look at that pink speedo. And that butt shake! Go, Evan Stone, Go!

- I love that he still has the firefighter boots on, all falling off. They look like pirate boots.

- Look at that banana hammock!

-Did he just say they are listening to an African song of seduction? Ha! Cause that hot pink sausage is enough to seduce any lady.

- Ha, I love that Moanica put something under his butt when he went to sit down. Cause an exposed ass like that can damage the good furniture if you’re not careful. Haha.

- Wait a sec… did the just usher him out of the apartment through Moanica’s bedroom? Well, in the real show that was her room…

- I love the silence as the just sit down with a “hrumph.”

- New Sensations did such a good job with this parody! I can’t wait to watch the rest!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

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