One of the perks of being a total perv is that I have the honor of being friends with people that are just as dirty. My friends are seriously hilarious as well, and this weekend, I received a text from my friends Jake and Anna saying that I needed to check out their adventures in BDSM haiku poetry.
Obviously I jumped on that opportunity right quick and was rewarded with some of the funniest, spot-on kinky poems I’ve ever read (ok, maybe some of the only kinky poems, but still, they are awesome)! I knew I needed to bring them to the hm4her dirty masses! So without further intro, I give you Jake and Anna’s hardcore haiku!
| Rules to memorize Codes to maintain and obey I’ll just masturbate |
You are my boy now You had better call me sir I like puppy play |
| Here’s some light reading It’s called the slave manual This won’t get old fast |
Watersports are wet Hanky codes are outdated Sex used to be fun |
| Whip marks on your back A butt-plug in your asshole Let’s post this online |
My hand up your butt Do you hear an orchestra? Must have done it wrong! |
| Sex used to be fun But this seems more popular A good trade-off |
A smear of brownness The smell so foul and yet fresh Scat queens now gather |
| So soft to the touch Gently nuzzles under arm The furries abound |
S&M is hard Can we just rent a movie? Mom mailed me popcorn |
I know, right? Witty and so true. I’m so lucky to be a part of my community!
I’ll just sit back and wait for their book deals to start rolling in…
xoxo
J.D.
