The Catholic Church is pissed at fornicators… what else is new?  At least this time they have a specific reason – other than we are all going to hell, of course.

The Church is fuming over a new book that encourages people to have sex in church confessionals. 

In their new release (out in Nov.), ”101 Places To Have Sex Before You Die,” authors Marsha Normandy and Joseph St. James not only offer up the confessional as the perfect place to reach heaven, orgasmically speaking, they make sure to give tips on how to manage a successful sneak in.

“The only sex the Church doesn’t frown upon is the married, hetrosexual and birth control-free kind, so the odds are the pope is pretty displeased with you already. Instead of carrying all that mortal sin around with you for weeks at a time until you can make it to confession, why not combine both with a quick and tidy 2-for-1 session?

“It’d be pretty hard for both of you (it doesn’t count if your partner is the priest) to sneak into the booth during Mass, so avoid Sundays, as well as big holidays such as Christmas Eve and Easter, when the pews are likely to be filled.” The book adds that drawbacks include: “splinters, ex-communication, Peeping (Father) Tom.”

Catholic League president Bill Donohue countered the book’s entry with an equally devout retort.

“The kind of people who would have sex in the confessional would also have sex in a graveyard. And I don’t mean with each other.”

Publishers had no comment, but pulled an ”I’m rubber, you’re glue…” gesture out at last minute.

Funny Stuff.  Check out the whole story here. (via World Sex News)

Like the confessionals aren’t already swimming in sin and semen.  I’m just sayin…

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

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