Jamye Waxman is a knowledgeable and accomplished woman in the world of sex – an educator, writer and director/producer of movies (Candida Royalle’s Under the Covers and most recently Personal Touch With Jamye Waxman Volume 1). With a regular sex advice column and podcast for PlayGirl and a long list of credits in almost every form of media – including the position of President of Feminists for Free Expression – we are honored to feature our latest interview with her! (Check out her site JamyeWaxman.com for her full bio, workshops and blog.)
Plus, don’t forget to check out our review of “Personal Touch with Jamye Waxman Volume 1!”
1. How (and when) did you get started in the industry?
I started in the industry as a radio producer in ’99. I had worked in radio since college, but never in the kind of radio that got me into the industry. The company I was working for, eyada.com, was talk radio on the Internet, and I produced a show on sex and relationships. We had at least 12 guests a week, and all of them had to talk about sex in some form or another. Once I got started talking about sex, I didn’t want to stop. At eyada I met Candida Royalle (she was a guest and a fill-in host), who became my mentor and one of my dear friends. From there I went on to get my masters in sex education, so I could bridge the gap between the media world and the academic sex world.
2. If you weren’t in the adult industry, what would you be doing?
Well, I’m also a writer and a sex educator, and I don’t consider those adult industry only jobs, so I guess I’m doing what I’d be doing otherwise. Perhaps if I wasn’t doing all that I’d be an actress on some bad reality TV show.
3. What’s the best thing you’ve learned or best advice you’ve received from the industry?
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Trite, but true. I used to work at Babeland and when a customer walked into the sex shop you’d have no idea what he or she was into or what they’d buy. Sex doesn’t discriminate or compartmentalize people. You just don’t know what a person is into, or not into, by looking at them.
4. What’s the funniest thing that’s happened while filming?
I don’t know if this is the funniest, but I’d get these ideas in my head and ask the actors to go along with them. I got Lexi Bardot to sing “it’s beginning to look a lot like assmas” (instead of Christmas) while she was holding some butt toys. I tried to get Daisy Layne to sing “clit is the word” (like Grease is the word) but she wasn’t as into it.
5. What do you think is the biggest misconception about women in the industry?
That they don’t want to be there, they don’t want to be doing this. That if they could be doing anything else in the world, they would be. That’s just not true for most women. I mean, sure, there are probably some who don’t know how or why they’re here, but there are lots of empowered, smart, funny and talented women who CHOOSE to be in this industry.
6. What did you do today?
I slept in until 9:15AM, which is late for me, but not that late for someone who doesn’t have to go into an office. Normally I go to the gym, but today I had a lot of work so I skipped out on that. I researched one column I’m working on for a major men’s magazine. I wrote another column because I write weekly for the Philly Edge and Steppin’ Out, and so I wrote today about sex workers and these really cool platform sandals that are being designed to help protect them from becoming victims of attack. I also masturbated – I try to orgasm at least once a day and I also had lunch with a friend who works in the industry. Oh, and I continued to work on my plot to take over the world
7. What would you rather have done today?
Uhm, been on Oprah. I guess that would have been more exciting. Getting flown to Chicago to talk with Oprah would have been my first choice of things to do today.
8. If you could do a movie with anyone (living or brought back from the dead) who would it be?
I assume you mean sex movie? Hmm… let’s see. I would love to see Ben Harper naked. He’s so hot, and I love his music – well, at least his first three albums. But I’d also like to get Bon Jovi into bed. He’s aged well. Or Robert Plant, from the 1973 video “The Song Remains the Same.” He’s so femininely masculine, and I like that kind of guy. I guess I have a thing for musicians.
9. Who is your favorite adult performer?
I can’t say I have a favorite, but after working on these films, I will say that Daisy Layne and Naomi Cruise are stand out stars. They’re professional, funny and totally awesome to work with. But then again so were Lyla Lei and Lexi Bardot. I think my favorite performers are always someone I’ve worked with. However, if I had to pick someone I didn’t work with, I’d say Jean Val Jean because he’s very easy on the eyes.
10. You’ve got 20 bucks left to your name; what would you do with it?
Oh, I don’t know. Logically, I would try to make more money. But if I were to throw logic out the window then I’d say, I’d sit on a NY street corner, and ask people to tell me their stories/problems and if I really thought they needed help, I’d give them a dollar. This way I could help twenty people, and then maybe the karma would come back to help me.
11. If you were president, what’s the first thing you’d change?
Wow. So many things. I think I’d like to change the way we teach sex education in this country. No more fear based education, and I’d like to make sure Roe v. Wade isn’t overturned in my lifetime (because right now I’m afraid it will be). I’d also get us the f-k out of Iraq.
12. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?
When I was shooting a video for Playgirl TV I walked outside on Fifth Avenue and 13th street in Manhattan in fishnets, hot pink frilly panties, boots and my hair in Princess Leia buns, holding a sign that read, “hand jobs rock hard,” while screaming “Take back the hand job!” We got stopped by an English professor who scorned me for (what he said) was my use of improper grammar. It was so much fun, but also strange to be screaming about hand jobs in the middle of a busy part of NYC.
13. Which is your favorite project you’ve worked on?
I’ve had fun on so many of my projects, but if I had to choose just one it would have to be the Personal Touch series I just finished. Just because it was a project that was mine. From conception to output, it’s my first baby.
14. If you could have 1 superpower what would it be?
I’d love to be able to read people’s minds. This way I could tell what’s really going on with people.
15. Meat or veggie?
Veggie. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 13 actually. I became a fish-eater in my twenties, so now I’m technically not a veggie, but what’s it called – a pescatarian.
16. What is your favorite book?
I loved Geek Love. It’s so intentionally out there. Dunn wrote this bizarre, beautiful and politically incorrect tale about a family of freak show artists. It’s just so out there, and I loved it. Right now I’m reading Kafka on the Shore and that’s another book I can’t seem to put down.
17. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I’m a very punctual person, and I get totally peeved about tardiness. I can’t stand when people show up more than five or ten minutes late and don’t even care. I mean if you’re going to be late, at least call.
18. What is your best piece of sex advice for women?
Exercise your PC muscle! The exercises you need to learn are called kegel exercises, and they strengthen the pelvic floor that supports your urethra, vagina, bladder and rectum. Not only do they make your orgasms sooooo much better, but they help with incontinence and they’re super important for women who have, or are planning on having, children. So exercise your PC muscle and your pussy will thank you and you’ll thank you too!
19. What is your favorite adult movie?
The Opening of Misty Beethoven. I love the classics and this one’s a musical. It’s based on Pygmalion (My Fair Lady). It’s funny, and the cast is attractive. Especially Jamie Gillis – he is classic, porn star hot.
20. Tell me one thing you’ve never told anyone else.
That’s impossible. I’m like an open book, and I like to talk about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING!