It’s hard to fathom all that’s happened in the past year. It went so quickly, yet 2007 now seems a lifetime ago. Needless to say, I had a lot to be thankful for this past Turkey day; 2008 was simply one of the greatest years of my life.

Most notably, it was the year Sweetheart Video was born. Our first release was in April 2008, and we quickly rose to the top of the food chain (our only real competition being, ironically, my former studio.) We’re up for several AVN awards this year, including Best New Line (i.e., Best New Studio), Best All Girl Release and Best All Girl Scene. We hit the ground running, and almost immediately began to forge new territory and introduce new concepts. My amazing partner/boss Jon Blitt has supported me in each and every one of my ideas (even when his first reaction is “Wha…? Are you kidding me?”). There has been not one moment where I’ve felt less than intense gratitude for Jon and what we’ve built together in this short period of time. His belief in my talent has changed my career and my life in ways I can’t even begin to explain.

On a personal note, I grew tremendously due to all of the changes I had to sort through when this year began. I got to know myself through my own eyes, after having been in a bad relationship for a long time; one where I could only see myself through the critical, unkind gaze of another. This year, my relationships were the antidote to all that. I experienced dizzying, intoxicating love affairs with some of the most beautiful, electrifying people in the industry – if not the entire world. Life opened up to me, and I learned what love, friendship, and compassion are truly about. Anais Nin famously said there are only two types of freedoms in this world: the freedom of the rich and powerful, and the freedom of monks and artists to whom possessions do not matter. I’ve been lucky enough, this past year, to experience a life of freedom in all the ways that count.

And with that success and freedom came the need to be aware of those less fortunate. I have become much more involved with charity work — more than ever before in my life. I won’t name the organizations because I don’t want to “out” myself (I keep my career under wraps when doing “hands on” work), but it gives me a sense of meaning and joy that’s hard to describe. I’ve learned that there can be no true happiness and peace in life when one is only focused on self. You have to give up everything your ego tells you to value, if you want to be truly rich.

I also discovered, through my newfound discipline and outlook on life, that I wanted to take better care of my body. I began doing body cleanses and going on healthy fasts. I stopped eating meat and processed foods, and now stick to raw foods and drink mainly water and tea. My body has become stronger, more beautiful and healthier every day, and I’ve never felt more clear-headed, confident and emotionally balanced.

I’m writing this because of the pervasive view, the “conventional wisdom,” that porn — a career in porn, an interest in porn, involvement in porn, is unhealthy and leads to a life of despair. I’m healthier and happier in every possible way than I have ever been in my life. There is no one who could ever convince me, with any type of argument whatsoever, that this industry did not play a huge role in my being able to blossom and excel and feel loved, accepted and motivated. And to give that same love back to others, both professionally and personally.

I’m grateful for all 2008 brought to me, and I’m deeply grateful to the Adult Industry and its beautiful performers and creators. Everything I ever needed to learn, I’ve learned right here.

My next blog will be to unveil a big surprise for 2009. It’s huge, and it’s fantastic, and I can’t wait until after AVN to tell you all about it. So stay tuned… and have a wonderful New Year!

Love, Nica

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