Today I thought I’d do something I never thought I’d ever do ever again – certainly not voluntarily. That is what a movie with “Max Hardcore” in the title. You see, Max Hardcore aka Paul Little, is probably in the top ten of famous porn peeps. But where Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy are the porny chums everyone knows and loves (in one form or another) Max is the name that makes many cringe – even me and I’ve got the cast iron porn watching skills honed from years of horror movies and guro.

Max specializes in content that can be summed up simplest with his name, it’s hardcore to the maximum limit allowed by most laws (the ‘most’ is the important part here; Max is currently in jail on obscenity charges). I remember when I was editing things to put on the site and would end up with tons of his movies to do, as I was the only one in the office that could stomach the stuff. I still remember all of it vividly to this day (shudders).

Now a new player has stepped onto the scene, Debbie Diamond Films, and they’ve come out with “This Isn’t Max Hardcore: A Femdom Parody” a femdom pegging parody of Max’s work and I’ve got that old monkey on my back named Curiosity and she’s four billion years old and two hundred solid pounds of undeniable muscle so let’s get this parody party started!

Right off the back they’ve gotten something wrong, Kristina Rose is way too young, firm, unmodified and hot to ever be in one of Max’s movies, unless she was wearing a leash attached to a Dom that made Hardcore himself look like a puppy in comparison. Other than that the cheesy, airy, light filled living room is nearly perfect – close enough to give me Max flashbacks.

When Kristina finally smacks ‘Max’ in the face and says “no mister, you’re annoying me” I sighed in relief. I love good dialogue in a domination scene, it’s like comedic gold to me and I loved Kristina’s dialogue while she was getting ‘Max’ to suck her toes. One word of caution here – please do not stick a lollipop up your sub’s ass and then leave it there, they’re not designed for that and could get ‘lost.’ There was a moment when I kept thinking of Princess Kali and all that she taught us about how to kick a guy in the balls; Kristen doesn’t follow those guidelines very well at all.

Over all it was a little anal centric, I don’t recall Hardcore having such a rear fixation. “This Isn’t Max Hardcore: A Femdom Parody” was also a lot more humorous than Max’s usual films would be but if it wasn’t noticeably different would it still be a parody? Actually I thank my lucky stars it wasn’t quite like the originals, as it was still pretty hard to watch. This is a film that really can’t be enjoyed unless you’ve 1 – seen Max Hardcore’s original works, 2 – a rather sadistic streak. Otherwise I’d imagine it would be both confusing and uncomfortable.

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