I’ve been reviewing porn for the last five years, so it’s not all that often that I get to say the thing I am about to say – I am doing something I’ve never done before. I am watching 3-D porn! You heard me right, 3-D porn… and I am watching it at my desk on a regular old computer. Pretty awesome, huh?
While I’d heard of 3-D porn before, I’d yet to actually give it a go, or really even want to, to be honest. But once I saw that we got the Jaws parody in 3-D, I just knew I had to give it a try. The first obstacle was to find a pair of 3-D glasses. The new glasses you get a 3-D mainstream movies don’t work with this; only the old school red and blue ones (anaglyph 3D) do the trick. I was lucky enough to have a coworker who had a pair at her desk (which makes sense because she turns the DVDs into digital movies, so she’d have a pair from the actual DVD). I’m sure you have a pair lying around your house, or you can buy one pretty easily online for cheap.
I was skeptical as the credits rolled in the beginning, but once actual people came onto the screen, I could really see the 3-D effects working. It’s actually pretty cool. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust, and the credits came in handy then as well to give me that time to adjust. Good on the director’s end, they didn’t wait too long to get the action started. Because, really, the reason the 3-D is so cool is that we get to see people fucking in a different way. And though I didn’t think it would make a difference, in reality, it actually kind of does.
JD watching "This Ain't Jaws XXX" in 3-D
Don’t get me wrong – it doesn’t look like Lily LaBeau and Danny Wylde are screwing on my desk or anything extreme like that, but it definitely gives a more layered look to everything. I especially liked the 3-D bouncing tits. What can I say, I’m only human. The three dimensional aspect adds to the sex, but I’m not sure if I would just chalk that up to a new, exciting novelty, or that it really does bring something extra hot to the table. I guess it doesn’t matter, as long as it makes me wet, right? I will say that I did really enjoy the close up angles. In a way, I felt a little more engaged in the sex with the 3-D element involved.
My biggest disappointment is in the cumshots. I was hoping they would POP more, but alas that is not the case. Like I just said to my co-workers, “If I am going to wear these silly glasses, I want to feel like I am going to get a facial. Like I have to dodge the cum coming straight for my eyes.”
Since this is “ This Ain’t Jaws XXX,” I know you are all curious about the shark. Yes, there was a bunch of Jaws sightings, and yes, it’s pretty cool in 3-D. I especially liked the scene where Evan Stone gets eaten. They did a good job of making everything with the shark feel extra exciting with the 3-D. Other than that, 3-D porn is a neat novelty, but it made me feel kind of nauseated, to be honest. I have motion sickness issues anyway, so I’m not surprised, but still, who likes to feel like they wanna barf while watching porn?
Or if you are into Jaws, but not into 3-D, head over to check out the 2-D version.
Watch”This Ain’t Jaws XXX (Disc 2) 3-D Version” Now!
