When it comes to themed porn, I am very set in my ways. This is especially true of holiday porn. I don’t care how many Santa hats you have on the box cover, I want there to be a Christmas plot… or at LEAST Santa/tree/mistletoe in every scene. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. So, when I looked at the screen caps for Santa’s Revenge and saw at least one bit of Christmas red in each scene, I was good to go on checking it out.
First things first, just to let you know – this movie is all over the place. It’s a compilation, so while all the scenes are XXX-Mas related, they aren’t part of a bigger story. It seems that scenes 2, 3 and 4 are related, but the first and last scenes are totally grab bag Santa sex scenes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I just thought it was important to mention.
Speaking of scenes 2, 3 and 4, I think my favorite part of this movie was actually the non-sex part of Ron Jeremy as a mall Santa. Yep, the world’s biggest Jewish male porn star was rocking the big red suit. Oy, you gotta love the irony there. While he jerked off under his red coat a few times, we never actually got a glimpse at his famous cock. That’s fine with me though. I think I’ve seen enough of Ron Jeremy fucking ladies to last a lifetime. Enough talking parts, let’s get to the sex!
As usual, Evan Stone did a superb job in the pussy pounding department. His scene one jaunt as a super horny Santa started off the movie perfectly. Sure, his beard and wig might have fallen off mid-bang, but who was even paying attention when blonde pixie Jenny Hendrix is on the screen? Her pseudo-innocent/fuck me Santa act definitely turned up the heat in my fireplace. Stone looked like him tree was decidedly trimmed as well.
All in all, to be ho-ho-honest, this holiday compilation may not have been the best I’ve ever seen, but I really liked that there was so much XXX-Mas cheer and definitely recommend it if you feel like watching something a little more random. Happy Holidays!
-J.D. Bauchery
Main Theater
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