I’m not going to lie – there are a bunch of reasons that I wanted to watch this movie, but the first and foremost has to do with my mom (yeah, even writing that grossed me out).  Last Hanukkah, Mama Bauchery gave me this random Little Red Riding Hood Barbie doll as a gift.  Not because I like Barbies, mind you, but because it looked so damn porny she couldn’t help but send it my way.  Touché, Mama Bauchery, touché.  Hey, this is the same lady that bought me what she thought was a glass penis statue when she went to Jamaica, only for me to point out to her that it was, in fact, a bowl.  Oh my innocent little Jewish mama.  Ok, back to the porno.  And stop thinking about my mom!

Rachel “Red” Riding Hood (Lexi Belle) is pissed when she finds out that her mom (Carolyn Reese) is still getting busy with a dude (James Franco) way to young for her, so she decides head to her Grandmother’s house, ignoring the fact that the woods are no place for a girl to be wandering alone!  Even after being warned by some sort of hot wolfie helper, she still decides to go forward and continue through the woods.  Bad choice…. Or is it?

Of course we all know the story – Red meets the Wolf, throws him off, heads to Grandma’s where the wolf has already taken Granny captive, all the while posing as Grandma when Red comes around, blah blah blah, happily ever after.  Let’s talk about the fucking instead!

Anthony Rosano is one hell of a foxy wolf.  Even in those stupid sideburns, he is still totally hot and not someone I would try to shake off in a forest.  Rosano’s scene with Lexi is pretty smokin’, but I have to say that there is something so extra hot about his outdoor tryst in the woods with his wolfie helper, Juelz Ventura.  It was by far my favorite scene of the flick (scene 2).  I can’t say for sure, but I’ll bet my interest in this scene had something to do with the little top hat Ventura was wearing right before they fucked.  She just looked so fucking sexy in it, that even though it disappeared before they began boning, I was still so smitten that I enjoyed the scene even more than I might have regularly.  What can I say?  I’m a total weirdo porn reviewer that talks about her mother in reviews and appreciates all the little things that a XXX movie has to offer.

Watch “Red Riding Hood XXX” Now!

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