Pornstar Superheroes (Disc 1)

So after last week’s dark and nasty tale of, dark nastiness, I wanted something a little bit kinder on the eyes and the second I caught a gander of “Pornstar Superheroes” I knew I’d found what I was looking for. He’s hoping these porny heroes can take the last of that really nasty taste out of my mouth.

First up – lots of text! I suppose despite its 3+ hour length it would be a stretch for this movie to explain the whole WWII escaped Nazi experiment angle. They did do a rather awesome job of painting the present as a disease ravaged waste land though. All that said my usual pet peeve rears it’s barely audible head once people do start talking.

Why the hell can’t I ever hear what people say in porn unless its ‘oh god, oh yeah, nnngg!” If they can sort the sound out well enough for every tiny moan and scream to come in loud enough to blow out my eardrums why can’t they do that for the plot they worked so hard making!!! Yes three exclamation points are really necessary, I’m that frustrated.

The fight scenes have a nice comic book feel. All freeze frames and ‘kapow’ moments. This works very well when all your superheroes don’t look like they could fight their way out of a wet paper bag.

I have to admit, the first sex scene involves the hottest actor I’ve ever seen in a big name straight film. Tori Black, his partner, isn’t bad either, brunette, natural tits in a skin tight bodysuit with high heeled boots and a few metal accents. Yeah she keeps the suit on when they fuck though she loses the femme fatale angle with all the begging.

The second heroine/pornstar played by Asa Akira is a little closer to the “Kill Bill” schoolgirl with homicidal tendencies and a morning star type though they threw in pyrokinetic abilities to make her extra super. I’m hoping for another super hot male partner because I can’t see her swinging that thing with any kind of skill, force or even cinematic grace. I was right about the way Asa swings her morning star, they could have at least given her more comfortable shoes so she could duck without looking like she’s about to fall over. Mick Blue does deliver at least one real orgasm for Akira which gives this scene major bonus points.

When I think of superhero sex late at night after a major geek fest – am I honestly dreaming about sitting on batman’s face, cutting off his windpipe and having him love every minute of it? Uhm, nope not my superhero fantasy, wouldn’t even do that to my favorite villains; that’s what subs are for. It’s pretty hot porn but if you’re looking for the ultimate fanboy/girl fantasy “Pornstar Superheroes” probably isn’t it, thankfully there’s fan fiction to tide all my geeks over on that score – NaruXHina to the rescue!

For everyone else that just want to look at faux femme fatale types on their knees being fucked like porn stars this is a great film that’s even segmented nicely so you don’t have to actually bother watching the whole thing at once, or ever. There’s more to the story or at least a disk 2 but I’ve lost interest in watching it.

Be Sociable, Share!

•