Hustlers Untrue Hollywood Stories Lindsay Lohan

Studio: Hustler Category: Spoofs/Parodies

I’ll be the first to admit that I am a shameless celebrity gossip junkie. I was raised in a house that had a People Magazine subscription and one look at the weekly dirt, I was totally hooked. These days I am still an avid People lover, but now I tend to turn to the internet to get my daily dish fix. With all this instant gratification and at my fingers info, I am always up-to-date on all the juicy stories and illicit affairs of the rich and famous… especially the tragic drama cases. I know, I know, it’s awful to be so nosey into someone else’s downward spiral, but I can’t help but be totally sucked in. So of course I would be totally into checking out the scandalous life of celebrity wild girl Lindsay Lohan, pornofied! What can I say – gossip and porn together – I’m totally sold! I guess I should note that this flick doesn’t feature an actual Lindsay Lohan or true to life sex stories. Just all those fantasies we’ve been dreaming of, now in porno reality!

To be perfectly honest, I was really into watching this movie for one particular reason, which is actually the reason I started looking for Lohan gossip in the first place – Samantha Ronson… or, for our purposes, the fabulous Dylan Ryan. It’s probably no shocker that I have a special place in my heart for butch girls and Sam Ronson fits the bill to a T. While I was a little surprised that fierce femme Dylan Ryan took on Ronson’s androgyny, the likeness (and Dylan’s total hotness) completely makes sense. No one else could play the part like Dylan! While Scarlett Fey’s LiLo (Linsday Lohan to those not in the know) was pretty dead on, it was Ryan that totally had me fast forwarding to scene six not long after I started watching the movie.

So, yes the rest of the movie is pretty hot, it’s Lindsay and Sam’s scene that I want to focus on. Reenacting what was supposed to be their first experience together (and Lindsay’s first girl fuck), Scarlett Fey plays a perfect petrified LiLo that goes from nervous to super into it with the first few licks from Dylan Ryan’s Sam. Ryan is all swagger and smooth moves in this scene, relaxing her girl, all the while getting us all hot and bothered. Her love of ladies and their pussies is obvious as she spends half the scene with her tongue on Fey’s clit.

My favorite part of the scene is when Lindsay goes to town on Sam’s pussy, as Sam praises her often and encourages her to relax and enjoy herself, as well as gives her tips on how to touch a lady. It’s really the kind of sex that I wish porn would show more often – exciting sex that incorporates communication and fun as much as moaning and getting off. All and all, this scene was the delicious icing to an already awesome cake! Thanks Hustler!

-J.D. Bauchery

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