Going through old reviews, I noticed that while we wrote about scenes one and two of Abigail Production’s “First Dates,” we never actually reviewed the last scene (it’s actually scenes 5,6 & 7) . I skipped an April Flores scene! I am so ashamed! And I call myself a fan. Obviously I had to rectify this situation ASAP, so today we are hanging out with two of the sassiest lady lovers around – zaftig porno goddess April Flores and tattooed tuff gal Varla Vex!
Blind dates can either be a total hit or a cringe-inducing, run for the hills miss. And rough-around-the-edges blonde bombshell Varla Vex has experienced only the down side of fix ups… until now. Things are looking up as soon as the amazingly hot April Flores walks in the door in a tight, low-cut dress, sporting her signature bright red curls. The twosome hit it off right from the get go and sparks start flying as they get drunk at the bar.
Things devolve into a pissing contest… literally, as the ladies head out to the parking lot and try to pee over a truck. Yeah, I don’t get it either. I think that maybe they were actually drunk, which is totally fine with me. They both seem to be having a ton of fun and laughing their asses off, which is all I would require of a first date. While I’m not real into piss when it comes to porn, this was completely separate from the fucking so I could get down with it.
As soon as they head inside for another drink, we finally get some action! A perfectly positioned pool table is just the place for things to turn a little more physical as April balances on the side and Varla goes straight for her tits and bare pussy. I love the way that Varla keeps telling April how hot she is – like she is in awe of April, but who wouldn’t be? And it is super duper hot when April lets Varla know just how she likes to be fucked, all while keeping it nice and dirty.
So, by this point you’d think they’d just skip the boozing and head back to Varla’s place, right? Wrong! The pair decides to get that last drink before they bring it to the bedroom and end up actually watching the whole bar while the bartender (a cameo by porn director Vena Virago) goes out with Mexican Wrestler Mr. Unknown (played by himself). They have free reign of the place, with only one rule to follow – no fucking on the bar! And not to ruin the surprise, but the rest of the insanely hot fucking, sucking, licking and kissing takes place right atop the old wooden bar. I bet you didn’t see that coming; but predictable or not, it’s freaking hot! What can I say, I’ve always had the hots for the rulebreakers…
-J.D. Bauchery
Main Theater
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