Apparently there’s quite the vampire craze going around nowadays, so much so that for todays review I picked “Dark Angels 2.” The plot looked interesting for a vamp flick and I’ve a thing for guys with pale skin, which I’m hoping “Dark Angels 2” will be sure to pack in spades though I’ll take fair skinned brunettes with delicate hints of pink in all the right places, like their pulse points.
The opening credits are pretty awesome, gritty and well done they could be setting the scene for a blockbuster or a b-level horror flick but they definitely don’t scream ‘porn,’ instead I get the feeling that I should be settling in with a big bowl of popcorn. Of course the credits open right up on nameless sexy times in a questionably dirty environment. It might just be me, but when I see a trash filled crack house and moldy mattress, the last thing I want to do is get naked and roll my ladybits around on it – color me not horny. The scene with Tommy Gunn in the diner kitchen – much hotter – still makes part of me go ‘ew gross’ industrial kitchen, but hey at least they kind of cleaned it first.
Sketchy sex scene aside, the movie was actually shot better than the worst mainstream vampire movie I saw. That one’s budget was so low they actually had to use the ‘hold the stake under the arm and pretend it pierced something vital’ trick. “Dark Angels 2” was more limited by the performers acting than either the script or the cinematography. There is one thing not going in its favor, there was a huge discrepancy in volume, I found myself turning the sound all the way up for plot points and all the way down during sex scenes to keep from blasting my eardrums with the music, I could barely hear the girls over all that noise at all, especially after I lowered the volume.
Sadly these vamps are also far too tan for my preferences and prone to creating shambling blood vomiting zombie things. Worse yet they seem to be plagued with a growing fear of their own deaths. Not at all bad for a vampire/zombie plot line, full of really cool movie moments that wouldn’t have been out of place in a more mainstream film. Some of them more obviously ripped from popular blockbusters than others like the line “come with me now if you want to live.” Also, nice boys don’t peep on their house guests in the shower but teeny boppers about to get knocked off by the killer with a chainsaw sure do love to try.
Over all I’ve got to say that this was a pretty good movie to watch all around. Definitely better than some of the C level production horror flicks I’ve seen put out by the SciFi channel lately with the bonus of real sex thrown in instead of the that ultra titillating and frustrating softcore crap. Just don’t expect too much from the performers acting and get ready to invite your vampire/zombie loving friend/s over for a fun night in.