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Studio: Red Light District Category: Celebrities

I was seven years old when the Amy Fisher scandal came to a head. Seven! I was a pretty informed child and a big fan of In Living Color, so I had a basic understanding of what was going on. I knew the following things to be true: someone did something bad, someone got shot, and people in Long Island in the early ’90s were a frightful bunch – and I grew up in a trailer park. A classy trailer park.

Flash forward to October 2007 – Amy’s out of jail and living a happy, married life. Apparently, her husband sells a sex tape of the couple to Red Light District, Amy files a lawsuit, blah blah blah. After seeing this tape, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume they knew what was going on the whole time – but that’s just my opinion.

As far as the sex tape goes, it’s overall pretty bad. I think I was suddenly reverted back to 1992 and it was like stumbling upon a homemade sex tape of your parents’ creepy friends. Bad hair, bad dialogue, bad sex. The whole thing is kind of unsettling. First of all, Amy has the Fran Drescher thing going on – she looks good but sounds terrible. The pillow talk is weird and spoken with a heavy Long Island accent – Amy says at one point, “Yeah, that actually feels good.” She also refers to her husband as ‘Daddy’. There’s a lot of moaning and groaning on her part while she gives a handjob, and Daddy isn’t touching her. On the unintentional comedy scale, this would get a 9/10 – losing points only because of the fact that they probably took this very seriously.

I have to admit that the last scene was kind of sexy. The way he was throwing her around into positions that normal people use all the time – it was racy and arousing. There’s something very sexy about sex you can relate to – I don’t know about you, but I don’t use the piledriver on a regular basis and neither did they.

-M.

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