Venus’ Fly Trap

Up for review this week is a Lockable Vibrator Case – nice idea! Not only discreet, but also safe from curious snoopers. I got the small case which is 12″ wide, 4″ high and 4″ inches wide. Perfect for your favorite treasured vibe. Or is it?

There’s only so much to write about a box that locks, so in tribute to cockeyed.com‘s “How much is inside?” experiments, I will present to you: What fits inside? Read the rest of this entry »

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Wow, so we’re all insanely mad busy preparing for so many things! First, finishing up our new super-fly design to make this site even more superfly awesome!!

Plus I’m getting ready to fly out to Arizona for a big adult webmaster convention. As soon as I get back, J.D. and the Porn Librarian are off to the Dinah Shore weekend (except it’s more like a week) – they’ll have tons of sweet freebies for you, as well as being 2 of the most awesome people to walk the earth, so if you are there, be sure to find them at our booth at the Logo pool party!! While they’re gone, I’m heading up to the Original GLBT Expo to help represent our GayHotMovies.com site. It’s not an adult show, so it should be interesting to be dirty porn peeps at the show – plus we’re bringing Collin O’Neal to sign autographs, and he’s super hot (and friendly too!) so you should totally come by if you’re in town.

So in the mean time, on top of my normal work-work, I’ve got toys that need testing and porn that needs watching! How did my life get so hard!!

In case something horrible happens, like, I get too busy and don’t finish my movie reviews, here’s my “watch list” that I’m pretty excited about…:

Bad Luck Betties from Vivid: FINALLY porn with a rockabilly theme!! My fingers are crossed so fucking hard on this one. Silly, cheesy, decent opening music, sexy bad girls, cute clothes, hot cars, Tommy Pistol, people fucking (like the sexy bad girls in cute clothes and Tommy Pistol). Really, it can’t be that hard for this to be good.

Signature Series Volume 5: Chloe from Adam & Eve: If you’ve never seen Chloe perform, then you should know that she’s a pretty fucking great performer and you should totally watch her sometime. Sometimes compilations don’t capture the full effect of the original movies they’re from, however they do make it easy to find what you want all together. I guess that’s why they make compilations, eh? Who am I fooling, I am a compilation fanatic.

Breaking Into Porn: Bonus Material from Liquid Lust Productions: “Interviews with AVN award winning porn stars, Marcus London, Tommy Gunn and Kurt Lockwood. Visit the Adult industry medical to get tested. How to start your own website, fan group and other publicity tips. Understanding a woman’s complex sexual anatomy. The top 10 mistakes most new performs make.” All from a man’s perspective! I want to know! There’s a whole Breaking Into Porn series, but this is the only one featuring just men. I love getting the inside scoop on anything, and this sounds intriguing on so many different levels…

XXX 35 : Lorna Goes Wild from Private: Well, I’m sorry to say that the description isn’t as descriptive as it could be – “offers six scintillating scenes in a range of different settings and scenarios with one unifying theme—hardcore sex at its finest with double penetration, anal sex, blow jobs, threesomes, etc. If your into the kink, then be sure to catch this scorching hot film!” but the boxcover is pretty fucking hot in dirty sleazy way. Plus I have a shirt just like “Lorna’s” on the boxcover (except it covers my boobs and if I were to pull it down my boobs aren’t that busty), and I like that.

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Did you ever have your bra straps adjusted too short and the cups of your bra are sort of floating and lifting you at the same time, and it’s not comfortable but for some reason you don’t adjust the straps because they’re so permanently stuck at that level that if you do adjust them they don’t lay flat, but eventhough you know they will eventually you instead just fucking suffer with an odd feeling that something is constantly cupping you?

This has been bothering me all day. And no, I haven’t adjusted yet.

Cupped and bothered,

Venus

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock when you visit this site (and kudos if you do, I love nature), you know we do movie reviews. For a variety of reasons, we try to only post positive reviews… we have a gazillion movies to choose from, and lord knows a lot of porn is kind of, um, crappy, so why linger on the negative? You came here for good stuff, so we do the dirty work and deliver the gold!

Sometimes we’ll end up watching a number of movies that we end up passing on. Time consuming, no? I took a bunch of notes during the last movie I watched (which turned out to be ass on fire – not the title, just the quality of the movie) and then ran out of time for another movie. I didn’t want the 15 minutes of my life to go to total waste, and I’m sure lots of you can sympathize with this, so I’m posting here. The title and studio have been omitted to protect the guilty (but if you really look I’m sure you’ll figure it out). Read the rest of this entry »

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So I helped start this site about 2 years ago, and in that time we’ve grown bigger and more awesome, and now it’s time for a makeover! A massive, awesome, life-changing makeover. So as we’re planning all the details, I keep thinking how I hate my nickname on here.

Back when we were starting, it was just me and Spot G., and we’re like, we need nicknames on the site. Obviously we took the only logical route to procure such wonders: a porn star name generator. She found an awesome one, I found fucking cheese. Venus Vegas… I’m not a fucking Venus, and I hate fucking Vegas, so how the fuck I came up with that as my choice is beyond me. But, here I am today, Venus fucking Vegas.

It became a joke in the office that no one could get my damn name right and would instead call me Venus Fly Trap. Thanks guys, like I’m a dirty bug gutter. Then, while J.D., the Porn Librarian and I were brainstorming blog names, they suggested for me: The Fly Trap. Like I’ve got a giant hungry man-eating vagina (which I totally do… I wouldn’t necessarily call it giant though…).

The Porn Librarian then sifted through her archives (aka, google image search), and said I should incorporate this pic into my header:

Fabulous! But I’ve got mad Photoshop skills that would beat down anyone*, so I went to work and created this little piece of miracle:

Read the rest of this entry »

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