Category Archives: Vibrating

Mystim – The Sizzling Simon review

MystimI have to be honest, when I first asked for a toy to review, I didn’t have high hopes. You see, I don’t like toys. I’ve always been a more “handsy” girl, and I feel like toys have impeded on my process. You have to charge them for hours for only a few minutes of play, or the batteries give out unexpectedly, or there is a short in a wire somewhere, and you have to twist the cord to make the vibe work. One thrust too many and it stops vibing right at a crucial moment. All of these issues seemed really dumb, especially when I know my hand so well. Obviously, there are certain things that your hands can’t do, but I’ve never really needed insertion during my private time. I’m a clit-based masturbator, and I don’t care about dong size, rotating insertion balls, or anything fancy. I just want to watch some porn and get off quickly. I’m not looking for a date. However, I did perk up when the Mystim company was mentioned as a possible toy review. I love electro-stimulation. I mean I LOVE it. So, I figured why not give one of these toys a try, and see if I can be swayed from my anti toy-with-masturbation stance.

fullI was gifted the Sizzling Simon, which is a long (10.6 x 1.6 inch) vibrator with electrode capabilities. You can use just the vibe, or just the electro functions, as well as using the functions in tandem. My first attempt with the vibrator was while I was waiting for my partner to join me from downstairs. I decided I would start without him and see if I could figure out some functions. The handle has 6 buttons. There is an electro button, which has corresponding plus and minus buttons, and then there is a vibe button with corresponding plus and minus buttons. Each button has a symbol on it, no lettering. I decided to try the vibe button first. There are 8 vibration modes, and each one varies in rhythm and rotation of vibration location. Mystim advertises that the difference in vibrations helps with kegel exercises, but I was mostly interested in seeing if the vibe would work on my clit. Surprisingly, the vibe is nicely curved so that the tip of the vibe could rest on top of my clit while I held the handle. I went through a few of the settings and found that I really liked the highest, sustained vibe, without any pulse or variation for clitoral stimulation. I felt like this setting had the most power for what I was looking for in a solo experience. Although I was able to achieve orgasm with the tip of the vibrator, it got a bit more cumbersome as the design of the machine isn’t made for solo clitoral orgasm. The tip kept sliding from position, and it was a bit frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, it felt really good, but the shape of the machine didn’t work for my anatomy.

detailWhen my partner came into the room, I was ready to explore the other functions of the device. We started by inserting the vibe into me, and then going through the different modes to see which one I liked best. Honestly, I can’t tell you exactly which combination worked for me, but at one point I was confident that there was a finger in my ass. So, I asked my partner, “Are you in my ass?” He said he wasn’t and kept holding the vibe inside me and rubbing my clit with his fingers. “No, seriously-are you in my ass?” He started laughing and held up both of his hands to show that he did not have any fingers in my ass. “Oh my god, this is fucking awesome,” I said, and he began rubbing my clit again. Whatever combination he had done between the electro-which you really feel, and the vibration was perfect. With the Mystim still working its magic inside me, he used his mouth on my clit and brought me to one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. Even after I came, with the vibe still going inside me, I felt like I was continuing to climax. It wasn’t the same type of orgasm from clitoral stimulation, it was deeper, emotional, even. My partner moved the Mystim inside me while I rocked in a rhythm, and then had an overwhelming vaginal orgasm. The electro function had made it feel like I was being analy stimulated from inside without the pain of insertion, or the warm-up needed for ass play, and the vibration of the pulse function made me a bit weepy. It was a good time.

Needless to say, I told my partner that I would love him forever, and all those things one promises after a really great orgasm, but it was a combination of the first clitoral orgasm (facilitated by my partner) and then the vibe/electro stimulation that made a really great experience. Plus, sharing toys with your partner is always fun. It introduces the element of discovery, and makes the two of you feel like you are on a journey together. The Mystim has become an active part of our sex life, and I would highly recommend it as an addition to sex with your partner. For me, this is not really a solo-type vibrator, but it is an amazing accompaniment to a romantic evening. It is easy to wash, has a very discrete case, USB charger, and a kegel exercise program included. This is a grown-up’s sex toy; a fancy, well-made, and stylish toy. This line of E-Stim vibes won the 2013 Venus- most innovative new toyline award, and the eroFame-most innovative production line award in 2013. I really like having this toy in my arsenal, and I would seriously suggest investing in one – or many- of their products.

Hot Toy Reviews: MONA 2

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All images courtesy of LELO

When I received the LELO MONA 2, I was extremely, extremely excited. I’d always gone to sex shops and looked longingly in the glass case where the most precious of vibrators were kept, and now I had one of my very own to review. The LELO MONA 2 comes packaged in a fairly large box that holds a smaller, sexier black box inside it. Once you lift the lid off the black box, the MONA 2 is nestled comfortably in a velvety liner.

The MONA 2 comes in 3 colors-purple, “cerise” (aka pink), and red. I was lucky enough to get the red one, which conveniently matches all of my bedroom décor as it is now a staple on my nightstand. One of the most convenient or inconvenient features of the MONA 2, depending on how organized of a person you are, is that it is a rechargeable toy. I’ve used the MONA 2 often enough to know the crushing disappointment that occurs when you’re halfway to climax and the vibration shutters to a sudden halt, all because I forgot to charge it in a while. Fumbling around in the dark for the charger with my phone flashlight has become an annoying aspect of my bedtime routine, but I digress. The MONA 2 comes with its own silky drawstring pouch for discreet safekeeping and a sample of LELO brand lubricant, which I still have yet to try.

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On the topic of lube, I found the MONA 2 to be pretty damn impossible to insert without it. Maybe I’m just impatient, but when I want to get off I tend not to bother romancing myself beforehand. Yes, the matte finish silicone is heavenly smooth to the touch, and the curvature of the toy is a natural fit for G-spot stimulation, but something about the width of the head was just a little too big for me to manage on my own. With some handy dandy lubricant and a little patience, however, I was ready to enjoy what @JudyHologram referred to as the “Holy Grail of vibrators.”

The MONA 2 has 6 varying vibration modes, all whisper-quiet. So quiet, in fact, that I’ve been able to use the MONA 2 while my boyfriend slept soundly next to me, and he was none the wiser. The diameter measures 1.5 in circumference at its widest point, and the length is an easily manageable 4.3 inches. The curved head of the MONA 2 rested snugly on my G-spot and once I chose the vibration pattern that most suited me, the climax was inevitable and face-flushingly radiant.

While both of these things are wonderful, I don't recommend storing your sex toys and baked goods in the same place
While both of these things are wonderful, I don’t recommend storing your sex toys and baked goods in the same place

So start saving up, because this luxury vibrator costs $139-but trust me, it’s worth it. If you crave a toy that penetrates and stimulates at just the right angles, the MONA 2 is a must-have. Just make sure you stock up on lube and keep this bad boy charged, and you’re in for a real treat!

For more sexy stuff, follow me on Twitter @BridgetXXXXXXX and all of us @hotmoviesforher!

Hot Toy Reviews-Baby, I Can Feel Your Halo

Halo by Shibari Wands
The Halo by Shibari Wands deserves a place in your nightstand.

I’m an old lady who has been through a lot of sex toys, and I’ve become a real snob about the crotch accoutrements I choose for myself these days. Long gone are my younger years where I’d be happy to have a toxic, jelly, rabbit-style vibe that took 10 AA batteries and came with 15 differently hued jelly attachments in my nightstand. I shaped up and invested well since then. As a proud owner of a Hitachi Magic Wand for the last 10 years, and the recipient of countless “free bonus” bullets that came with other sex toy purchases, with numerous trial and error purchases in between, I have seen enough vibrators that I gloss over whenever I hear about a new one. Short of shining my boots, what could another vibrator possibly do for me?

Well, hot damn, it could prove me wrong. The Halo by Shibari Wands entered my life, and I hope it enters yours. Beyonce sang it best when she said, “Standing in the light of your halo/I got my angel now.” The Halo is a cordless, waterproof, rechargeable wand vibrator with 10 settings and an ABS and silicone body. In other words, when you come (and you will), you can squirt all over this buddy, and then wash it off with water and antibacterial soap, and plug it in for more fun. The Halo has two buttons-one for on/off and one for setting control. (If there is one thing I hate on luxury vibrators, it’s when they have too many controls. I’m not trying to think about the machine I’m using when I’m trying to have an orgasm.) Shibari Wands gets it right with their simplicity. The settings include low and high vibration, and then 8 pulse and vibe patterns. The Halo comes with its own USB cord and wall socket adapter for charging. I have the purple Halo, but it’s also available with black or pink silicone too.

It’s like I’ve been awakened/Every rule I had you breakin’…I really didn’t expect to be so wowed by a vibrator. I’m a little jaded, and I was also pretty spoiled from the Magic Wand. The Halo is a dream! I love it. As I listen to Bey, I feel like she is really singing for Shibari Wands when she says:

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light

I never thought I’d say it, but the ol’ Magic Wand no longer reigns supreme in Castle Viant. The Halo is where it’s at, right at #1. I have been really impressed with this toy, and I only have one complaint that I’ll get to later. First, I like love how strong the Halo is for a cordless toy. With the updates to vibe technology, a vibrator can have plenty of oomph without a cord these days. That said, I’m not bound to the one free upstairs socket when it’s time to play with the Halo and I’m not sacrificing power for portability. Related to that, I don’t find the Halo *as* strong as the Magic Wand, and therefore, I do find it much more pleasurable to use. The vibrations are strong enough to get the job done, but I don’t get numb as I do with too much Magic Wand action. The second best aspect of the Halo is its materials. When I want to clean it, I can soap up the whole dang wand and rinse it clean without worrying about damaging its functionality. It’s very sleekly produced, and there are no crevices or crud traps to worry about. If I think a toy, even if it’s body safe, is going to be a pain to clean, I’ll pass on it. That’s not an issue with the Halo at all. My final top reason for choosing to love the Halo is that it has excellent ergonomic appeal. The silicone head is a bit cushioned, and the neck is very flexible, so it feels great in action even if I’m applying a lot of pressure. Also, the weight of the Halo is perfect and it feels good to hold. Really, you’ll just be getting off with great design when you get your own Halo.

My only complaint about the Halo is that I can’t travel with it. There is no travel lock or way to ensure it won’t be bumped to On during transit, short of running the battery down. Once I dropped the Halo on my bed and it went off after it tapped the corner of a book on my bed. That’s my only complaint. It you really want to travel with it, I suggest getting a padded carrying case or keeping the box it comes in.  Also the Halo is quieter than a Magic Wand, but not noiseless. Please consider the thickness of your walls if you plan to use this one when non-masturbating parties are nearby.

Remember those walls I built?/Well, baby they’re tumbling down/the Halo now wears the crown…OK, that last line isn’t in the song, but should Bey ever sell the rights to her song to Shibari Wands for promotional use, I suggest adding it. I absolutely love my Halo and it’s become my go-to toy since I got it. There are a lot of toys out there, and I’ve handled a bunch of them, but Shibari Wands knocked it out of the park with the Halo. You can certainly order it from Amazon (beware as they tend to get bootleg sex toys from shady vendors) and also here, from SheVibe.

And here’s the official video for Beyonce’s Halo. Listen and tell me this couldn’t be about vibrator love.

Follow us on Twitter-@hotmoviesforher and @fetishmovieblog

Hot Toy Reviews: Bodywand Midnight

Image courtesy of BodyWand
Image courtesy of Bodywand

At first when I received the Bodywand Midnight, I was a bit chagrined by the cord. I like my toys to be rechargeable and portable, but I soon found that the AC cord on the Midnight is luxuriously long; I didn’t necessarily have to be right next to a wall outlet for comfortable use. Upon first inspection of the Midnight, I was thrilled to find the head was quite flexible–allowing users to modify the angle with which the toy is held. The single-touch vibration dial makes for simple speed adjustment ranging from a soft buzzing to a surprisingly powerful, intense sensation. Just adjust the dial to the specific speed that suits your comfort level–the Midnight is extremely customizable in that sense. On lower speed levels the noise of the vibration is moderate and undetectable from afar, but if you’re looking to enjoy the higher-intensity speeds you may want to double-check the thickness of your walls.

As stated before, the Midnight’s motor is incredibly powerful. I went for a lower-velocity vibration to stimulate my clit because I wanted to play with the massager for a longer period of time. Once I found the speed that worked for me, I laid flat on my back and experimented with placing the flexible head against my body until I found the right angle. During use, I liked constantly alternating the pressure with which I held the head against myself. Changing up the pressure kept me in that exciting state of ecstasy right before orgasm for an enjoyable amount of time before I decided to press down and finish the job.

Before the Midnight, I’d never used a wand or any toy specifically designed solely for external use, but I have to say it really did live up to the hype-and for $54, it’s definitely worth it. I continue to use this toy on a regular basis, and if it weren’t for the cord, I’m sure I’d have it with me right now. If you’re concerned about over-stimulation and soreness like I was, keep the vibration level lower and you should enjoy yourself. The Midnight’s handle is a good length and ergonomically-sound, but if you’re planning on using this toy for an extended period of time, you may want to prop your elbow up on a pillow for some extra leverage. I found after 10-15 minutes of use my upper-arm did become a little uncomfortable. This toy can easily be incorporated into use with a partner by holding against oneself during penetration for extra stimulation, or simply having your partner control the speeds and pressures while using it on you.

Obviously, the AC cord means that this toy is not waterproof and shouldn’t be handled around water. Instead, I suggest a nice water-based toy cleaner to keep the Bodywand hygienic and ultimately, long-lasting. Unfortunately, this product doesn’t come with a warranty as it is relatively inexpensive, but, as with all toys, a little care and maintenance go a long way.

For more reviews on toy, movies, and more, follow us on Twitter-@hotmoviesforher and @BridgetXXXXXX.

Hot Toy Reviews: LELO Hula Beads

Image courtesy of LELO
Image courtesy of LELO

I remember it well; Janie told us that we were going to be doing more sex toy reviews, and my eyes began to glisten with excitement. She went downstairs, and came back a short while later with that sleek black box tucked under her arm. She dropped it in my lap, and I squealed with delight, upsetting the guys from GayHotMovies.com.

It was LELO Hula Beads, which I mixed up with their Luna Beads for a hot second, my brain screaming, “My pelvic floor muscles are going to be able to crush a soda can!” Regardless, I tore into the box like a virgin on prom night, taking out those Hula Beads right in the middle of our office’s conference room. The GayHotMovies boys watched as I reverently held up my first ever LELO toy, admiring its silky smooth silicone, oohing and ahhing as I turned it on and watched it rotate and felt its rumbly vibrations.

One happy hour later I was rushing back to my thankfully empty apartment. I unpacked the box in my kitchen, threw batteries into the Sense Motion remote, and gave the user’s manual a quick read through. And then, hands trembling, I turned on the beads and the remote and pushed the beads all the way into my vagina, small end first, and…

And then I stood there, waiting. The smaller, rotating orb of the Hula Beads is supposed to stimulate your G-Spot, and yet I felt nothing from that. At all. Even when I clenched my PC muscles around it, still nothing. All I could feel was the vibrations of the larger orb, and not even in any sort of pleasurable way; more like a large bee had gotten trapped at the opening of my vagina and was demanding to be set free. It was just annoying because, you know, that’s not where my clit is.

Still, I shambled off to the shower (walking like both my legs were broken because the beads were constantly threatening to wiggle out of my vagina,) determined to discover what I was missing. I was hoping that I’d become aroused and start to feel some sort of enjoyment while I washed my hair, but no, I simply became more and more annoyed. I even tried taking the beads out and using the rotating orb as a bullet vibe, but that was pretty useless as well. Eventually I put them back inside myself and masturbated to a hard earned, yet very bittersweet orgasm.

What the hell, man? This was a LELO toy! It’s from the Cadillac of sex toy companies! Why wasn’t I rolling around on my kitchen floor and frightening my neighbors the second the Hula Beads were in my vagina? I consulted the packaging and LELO’s website, which espouses how the Hula Beads can be used so many ways! So many!

So over the next two weeks, I retried them. So. Many. Ways. Half way in my vagina. All the way in my vagina. Big orb first. Small end first. While having a dude eat my pussy. Standing. Sitting. Laying down. I even took them out a night on the town and had my friends work the Sense Motion remote control. That was probably the worst. The Hula Beads have a delayed reaction to the remote, which has to be within about a foot and a half of your pelvis to continue to work. I tried to stare at hipster boy and lumbersexual asses at the bar to turn myself on. Nothing worked. All I could feel was that angry bee buzzing around at the opening of my vagina.

The only time that I kind of sort of enjoyed the Hula Beads was when they were inserted all the way in me, small end first, while I lay on my back and either masturbated my clit or had the aforementioned dude eat me out. In that case, the Hula Beads provided a little extra feeling of fullness, and the rumbly vibrations traveled through my back vaginal wall and into my ass, which was kind of nice. Kind of. Not really nice, and certainly not $169 nice.

Sorry y’all, but I am of the opinion that if you’re going to spend $169 on a sex toy, it should make you cum so hard that you have time to fist bump God on your way back down. Hula Beads are not made for orgasms. In fact, I’m not entirely sure what they’re made for, and I don’t think LELO knows either. If you’re going to drop this kind of cash on a sex toy, get one that actually serves a purpose and manages to accomplish its task very well.

Want updates on the latest adult movies and sex toys? Follow us on Twitter @hotmoviesforher and @JudyHologram.

HOT Toy Reviews: PicoBong Moka G-Vibe

Picobong Moka G-VibeI am not best friends with my G-spot, and this is a constant source of annoyance for me. I’d love to be able to orgasm just from penetrative sex, and squirt all over the place, but it just hasn’t happened for me. About a year ago I went out and got my first penetrative toy, a $30 silicone vibrator with a slightly bulbous and flexible head a hint of a curve. About once a week I’d try fucking myself with it, but I’d have to prop myself up onto every pillow I owned and contort myself into the most unsexy of positions if I wanted to feel anything on my g-spot. It seemed like my g-spot and I were just never going to be able to warm up to each other, and that my clit would forever be the only love in my life.

Enter the PicoBong Moka G-Vibe! PicoBong is the hip, unfortunately named, Hawaiian themed, more affordable offshoot of the high end Swedish company LELO, with toys pricing in at anywhere from $35 for a little bullet vibe to $129 for the crazy ass Transformer. The $59 Moka G-Vibe is a curved, flat tipped g-spotting vibrator that comes in at about 7.5 inches. It’s made of hard plastic coated in body safe, non-porous, phthalate free silicone; the silicone itself has a soft, silky feeling to it, but the vibe as a whole is very hard, with no give at all, yet it’s lightweight and doesn’t tire out my wrist. It comes in a flimsy, useless box with only an instructional manual and a little cellphone charm for no discernible reason; no storage bag or batteries, unfortunately, despite needing 2 AAA’s. Moka boasts 12 vibe patterns and I don’t know how many speeds; I don’t really mess with the patterns, but I’m sure they’re fine. When I turned my Moka on for the first time my initial reaction was, “What is this shit?” because the lowest setting is pretty damn weak, but it does work up to a lovely, strong rumble. It has three easy to navigate buttons on the side and is roommate tested and approved for noise.

Picobong Vibration Patterns
Picobong’s Twelve Vibration Patterns

Ok, so what does this little bro do to my pussy? To warm myself up I like to use it on my clit (which PicoBong’s website annoying refers to as a C-Spot. Stop it, that’s not a thing, it’s a clitoris goddammit) and I could seriously come super quickly just from that. The flattened portion of the head nestles nicely between my labia and happily rumbles away on my clit. However, when I flip the Moka around so that it curves towards my body, the pointed tip of the head pinpoints my clit in a way that I’ve never felt before. I have an absurdly tiny clit, so I’ve gotten used to having it just be totally enveloped by whatever sensation I’m applying to it. It’s pretty eye-opening, for me, to have a toy that has enough of a pronounced tip that all of its vibrations are completely concentrated on the head of my clit. I have to stop myself from coming too soon when I use the Moka this way so that I can use it for its main purpose.

And that main purpose is G-spotting! Sadly, I still haven’t squirted or orgasmed only from using the Moka G, but I’ve definitely had that tell tale “need to pee” feeling and have had much stronger orgasms than usual. The success of the Moka lies in the curve and the flat tipped head. The curve reaches my G-spot easily, and the head has the right amount of surface area to really grab onto my G-spot. I don’t even have to thrust wildly with it; I just kind of nudge it back and forth inside of me and it grabs my G-spot with minimal effort. The shaft of the Moka is more than long enough to penetrate my vagina to the necessary depth while leaving enough of handle to hold onto.

So are me and my G-spot best friends yet? No. But with the Moka G-Vibe, we’re becoming better acquainted than ever before.  At $59, the Moka could do with a few more bells and whistles, like a storage bag and sturdier packaging, but it’s still much more affordable than most G-spotters out there. I’d definitely recommend it to someone, especially a beginner, who’s looking for a good, versatile vibe that will also hit their G-spot at a price that won’t break the bank.

Want to stay up to date on the latest adult movies and sex toys? Follow us on Twitter @hotmoviesforher and@JudyHologram.

Go Play: OHM Flow by Blush Novelties

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OHM Flow and its beautiful box

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If you like your toys to feel like a freaking cloud and deliver wide vibrating coverage for clit teasing as well as be able to penetrate you till drool-flow, you found it with OHM Flow.

requires//two AAA batteries.

noise//< < < < <

vibration settings//ten. solids, then varying vibrations. power button is also settings.

 

OHM Flow popping out of the box

 

 

 yay!

  • softest thing you will ever touch

  • head is full, but easily insertable

  • concave dip

  • that girth, ain’t no joke

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 damn.

  • requires batteries

  • only one button, so if you’re caught mid-buzz, too bad

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    in full

    Firstly, Blush has done it again with their packaging. Is there any other company that strives to present sex toy fun in such an elegant and streamlined way? Pfffft. Not that I’ve seen. And for that, I’m a fan all the way.

    This particular Flow I used was mint green, and though I’ve seen the darling berry hue, I’m a fan of all green. So I’ll tell you what, somehow that made it more enjoyable. Honestly, am I just that high-maintenance that even color matters? The mind-blowingness of the massager, however, came not in color but in touch. It’s heaven to touch. It brought to mind tons of words that start with “f” and “s”, like svelte, feathery, soft, fine, silken, satiny, fuckable…and velvety. It’s made of pure hypoallergenic silicone, and is pfthatlthapfzsate  phthlalate-free, so it’s nice and safe and zen for your baby bits.

    I really, really didn’t like that I had to dig through all my electronics to find something that still worked on AAA batteries (note to emja: they are available to buy). First-world problems, ya know? So I took some out of my mini chime clock and unscrewed Flow’s lid. It doesn’t say how to put the AAAs in, but if someone complains about that then you need to back away from the electronic anyway. And once in, just twist, and push the only button on the toy there is. A nice, light, steady vibration kicked in, but I was in no mood for teasing, so I went right to setting three: the hard buzz.

    The noise really was soft, and I felt truly at ease because of it. I didn’t use lube, but if you do, keep the toy soft and clean and use water-based. I loved putting the head of it to my clit because there was a wider space to work with. If it gets too pin-pointy I get jumpy and it’s no good for anyone. I’ve been known to kick a good man once or twice purely out of nerve reaction for too much pointy-tongue.

    Since the girth is a rather nice size for a massager, and the insertable length is 4.75 inches, best believe I rode that thing like a happy animal. It was great, wasn’t too big (I’d offend the boyfriend if it was, anyway), and definitely not tiny, so I relished in the fuck-and-buzz method I prefer. Although I played around with the pulsating settings, pulses aren’t really what I’m looking for (I’ve mentioned that before), but honestly if it was missing I’d be bummed. Don’t ask; I’m odd in preference.

    I finished not too quickly, because I was having fun with my method. It was an orgasm that was powerful, and I’d like to attribute that to the wider head of it, creating vibrations that were strong and more spread around the surface of my clit-zone. I had fun. I wanted to buy the Flow a drink or give it the preferential side of the bed for the night, but washed it off with anti-bacto soap instead. Also, don’t submerse this, or any of the OHM vibes. It’s waterproof, but I cherished it so much that I didn’t even dare bring it into the shower in case I got carried away.

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    Find out where to buy this. And be a fan of Blush. They may toss me a toy here and there to review, but we have an agreement — no bias bs, just orgasm rating.


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Go Play: Muse Massager by NS Novelties

Muse Massager in Pink by nsnovelties

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mini skinny

This little guy is damn adorable. I fought through the urge to just keep the widdle baby on my desk to stare at every day, and had to give it a test run. Trust me, it looks cute but makes you feel pretty bad-girl good.

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requires//just pre-charge it. it’s battery-free, which is heaven.

noise//< < < < <

vibration settings//ten. three solids, then varying. you change them by poking his eyes out! (you don’t feel bad, i swear)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 yay!

  • what, what, what UP bath time?! (water-resistant)
  • his eyes light up into expressions in blue led lights
  • fits right in your hand (see vine), so it’s easy to hold for a while
  • the ears position on either side of the clit for like, holy-shit complete attention
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damn.

  • clitoral-only, so those that crave penetration — sorry kids
  • trying to push the eyes to change settings can get tough, and distracting
  • it doesn’t come in blue. that’s the only other negative i could think of
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    in full

    The first statement I have about this little buzzy animal wonder is that I have never “squee’d!” half so much over a sex toy as much as I did this one when I received it. To boot, I opened it up, and was shocked at the size of it. It’s so mini! I love mini things! And by mini I mean that it fits into the palm of your hand. More on this bonus feature later. It’s so adorable I swear to the heaven heroes that I just wanted to leave it on my desk to look at all day, every day. It is a smile bringer, before you even turn it on! Gah!

    Okay so when I got over the fawning and cuddling of it, I plopped down for a review, solo edition. You turn it on my pressing into the eyes. You don’t get creeped out for some reason, though now that I am writing it and thinking about it, I’m wondering, wait, am I just a sicko? I’m pressing into the eyes of a bunny. Anyway, this can be a little tough to do if you’re in the middle of getting to full arousal and want to switch it up. The left side goes forward in changing settings, the right side (this is as you look at it face-to-face) goes backward. So if you aren’t looking and click the wrong eye, you can get kinda “wtf” for a moment.

    What makes this so special, however, are the buzzing ears. They are molded to fit right around your clit, giving it a happy little nuzzle of pleasure. When I go to use a toy though, I’m an everywhere, keep it moving type girl. Honestly, the ears allow for that, and in a way it can be better than just a solid shaft of vibration. But that’s me, I’ll leave the wand girls to their wands. I like bursts of everywhere on my muffin.

    What I usually can’t stand is holding a vibrator and then getting numb hand. Doesn’t that suck? You finally finish and you feel like your hand could just emit waves of stimulation held in mid-air. What worried me is that because it’s hand-held, and your digits wrap around it, that it was a sure-fire sign of mastur-numbing. Not so, my friends. The vibrations were pretty concentrated to just the ears. Climax after climax, when it was time to be cleaned and put away, my hand felt normal.

    This guy popped up on a Buzzfeed list a while back on Twee Sex Toys, and I giggled at the novelty of it, and how I shared my adoration for Muse with so many others. Then this one jerk commenter mentioned “does this girl know that these are sex toys?” Well look, I love sex toys that don’t look like a freaking sex toy, and it adds in my passion for it. As long as it gets the job done, then I want personal massagers decorating my desk in every form of cuteness and cool factor. This is so far, the best I’ve seen. It goes hand-in-hand. The ten vibrating functions get really powerful, or gentle, or varied, and I used them all. It charges via included wall port, so yay for that, and it’s easy to clean in that smooth satiny silicone finish.

    My vine highlights the changing facial expressions by the way, so squee away, I won’t judge, I’ll join you.

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    Find out where to buy this (in black, but they also have purple) and all of those loverly things they make over at nsnovelties.com

Go Play: Joydream by Blush Novelties

Joydream of the Serendipity line from Blush Novelties

 

 

 

mini skinny

This is a great standard addition to the collection of posh people. It has the light-to-extreme vibration settings, and is rechargeable, and also looks beautiful and is a total betty.

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requires//an outlet. this toy is rechargeable. no batteries!

noise//< < < < <

vibration settings//ten. three solids, then varying.

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 yay!

  • rechargeable! i really hate batteries and i never have them
  • gorgeous appearance with blue led power and setting buttons
  • the satin silicone is easy to clean
  • turn it concave or convex or even pinpoint to what gets you off best

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damn.

  • not totally whisper quiet
  • power button can get in the way when you’re workin’ that thang

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in full

Grabbing this toy out of the simple-pretty box, I was impressed. The pink satin silicone and smooth chrome toy was gorgeous and curvy, and I kinda wanted to whip the thing out and show it off to my friends. Just the look of it made me want to slam my body down and wind it all around my bits asasasap. I plugged it in to charge it up, but in only ten minutes of impatience it started buzzing when I clicked the little blue power button.

With the first use I didn’t really explore the speed and pulse settings, I just sort of moved around the thing, trying to find the right curve that would fit me into the “groove”. Game over. I found it right away, so all in all that first use lasted 1min48sec. The second use I gave it a go using all curvy functions and speeds. The pulsating settings are fun if you like bursts of buzz, but I prefer to slide it up, down, little in, more there, with one speed.

Then I tried it during sex. Oh muffin fuck. Let me tell you what. It’s not massive or bulky, so allowing penetration while also centering lil’ Joydream isn’t that tough to do. And while some of y’all might be more experienced with sex and vibration hoo-hah, my partner was not, and he almost couldn’t last because he loved it so much. That curve…that curve makes all the difference in allowing room for all.

The only gripe I had was that during both solo and duo romps, my hand kept accidentally turning it off. If I turned it this way or that way, it was either my thumb or pointer finger that pushed down a little too hard and interrupted that ‘bow chicka bow wow’ moment to bliss. Even switching the button with the settings click-spot would do it for me, but as it is, well there you go. Maybe my hands are freakishly shaped, who really knows.

My official recommendation, however, is get that damn piece of happy play time right now. It’s gotta be a standard, especially if you’re a classy broad who likes toys that just look…pretty. Blush has an entire line of Serendipity products, so if you want a different shape, you have six other varieties to choose from (including a rabbit), all in that flirty-ish rose-blush color.

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Find out where to buy this and all of those loverly things they make over at Blush Novelties

 

Vibrating Waves

Some sex toys are straight forward.  It looks like a cock, so I put it in my orifice of choice.  Others are a little trickier to figure out.  Sure, there are vibes concealed as all sorts of things, from lipstick to powder puffs, but what I’m talking about are those toys that you hold up and try to figure out exactly what prong goes where.  Today, I’m talking about Vibrating Waves, from MyPleasure.com.

Vibrating Waves is a three-pronged silicone toy shaped kind of like the WuTang “W,” featuring one side hollowed out and stuffed with a bullet vibe.  Soft and fairly pliable, this body-safe toy is designed specifically as an anal toy, but can also be used vaginally.  The thing that sets this guy apart from the rest is that he is a dual simulator, offering both internal anal (prostate stim if you have one) and perineum stimulation at the same time (or vaginal and g-spot stim for female-bodied folks).  Pretty fancy, huh?

The third prong on this strangely shaped toy can be used as a handle, which is actually super helpful in maneuvering and thrusting.  The silicone they chose to make it out of is a bit too flexible when it comes to the handle, but it still works pretty well to hold on to, even if I do wish it wasn’t so bendy.  The silicone does have a little tackiness to it that helps hold on it and the curved shape of the handle is another plus when it comes to enhanced control.

Even though the vibe that comes with Vibrating Waves is pretty cheap-looking and only takes one battery (which I take as a sign of weakness), it turned out to be awesomely powerful and offer up two reliably buzzy speeds.  Plus, the whole thing is waterproof – a major bonus during these warm months.

Clean up is a total breeze when you take the vibe out.  Just stick the silicone part in the dishwasher (top shelf, no soap), boiling water or a 10% bleach solution.  Wipe the vibe down with warm soapy water and you are done!  Easy peasy.

Ride waves a pleasure with Vibrating Waves from MyPleasure!