Sex Tips – Sex Acts

Hello and welcome to the first edition of HotMovies4Her Tips!  This is where we give you 4 quick bits of advice on a given subject related to sex in some way, shape or form.  Aren’t we clever?  We are pretty excited to inject some fun yet educational info into our weekly routine and we hope you are too.  Feel free to leave a comment and let us know if there are any particular subjects that you could use a little insight on.

Today, I am giving you 4 Reasons To Masturbate!

1) Relieves Stress: Masturbating is a good opportunity to get in on some you time.  You get to focus on your needs alone, which is something most of us don’t do enough of.  Also, all sorts of things starts to fire off when playing with your bits – dopamine gets released for that sense of pleasure and the endorphins give you that feeling that everything is right in the world. Orgasms are not required, but they do release Oxytocin which gives you that warm fuzzy feeling.

2) Sleep Aid: Masturbating is a great way to stop tossing and turning at night.  Releasing all of those endorphins during the act takes a lot of energy and afterwards you peacefully drift off to dream land.

3) Improves your partnered sex life: What better way to learn about your likes and dislikes than experimenting on your own?  Spending some time with yourself will help you better communicate to your partner the things that you want in the bedroom.  You might even discover a thing or 2 that you’d like to perform on them.

4) It’s fun: Masturbating doesn’t have to be all about the business at hand.  Playing with yourself just feels good and there is nothing wrong with just getting off for the hell of it.

We hope you enjoyed our first ever official HotMovies4Her Tips post.  Check back next Monday to see what sex info we’ll have waiting for you.

Love,
Ginger

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We talk about porn a lot here on HotMoviesForHer.  I guess that’s pretty par for the course when you peddle dirty movies, but what I mean by that is that we spend a lot of time talking about the actual movies and their delicious stars, and don’t chat too much about how to incorporate porno into your real life love practices!  So, while this particular post is inspired by the impending lurve holiday, these ideas and tips that can be used whenever!

When it comes to setting the mood for sexy action, porn can be a great way to get the juices flowing, so to speak.  It’s easy to get all hot and bothered when folks on screen start shedding their clothes and touching up on each other – especially when they start moaning (my personal favorite).  Remember that the brain is your biggest sex organ, and plugging all those delectable visuals directly into that sexy organ is sure to get you and your partner thinking dirty thoughts.

Porn can also be a great communication tool.  It can be difficult talking about sex – even with a partner you love, and porn can sometimes help ease those conversation.  Have a budding curiosity about spanking, but not sure how to bring it up to your partner?  Try turning on a porno featuring some spanking and comment on how sexy you find the action.  Talking about your interest while watching the racy visuals can help get even the most skeptical of partners hot and ready to give it a go.

On that note, dirty movies are also a really great place to get ideas on different ways to get it on.  And I’m not just talking about instructional porn, though there are so many super hot instructionals out there.  Any porn can be an awesome source of  information and ideas – from positions and styles, to dirty talk and role playing scenarios.  Open your mind and let your imagination wander as you watch the movie, or why not play along while the movies goes.  Nothing beats a little porno karaoke!

Just be sure to find something that appeals to both of you.  While that may be a tricky venture, it will ultimately lead to more communication and an evening that you both really enjoy!  There are plenty of movies that offer the perfect mix of hardcore and softcore, if that’s your poison.  And so many movies where everyone is having a super hot and fun time.  Basically – if you can think it, we probably have a dozen flicks to get you off!  And don’t forgot to keep an open mind… maybe you’ll find something you never knew you were looking for!

And now a few tips to physically bring the porno to your own personal party.

- Buy minutes on HM4Her (or a DVD, though HM4Her is way better) and send your sweetie a picture or screen cap with the caption “just wait until later…”

- Including a free minutes card inside your Valentine card.

- Let the process of choosing a movie be part of the whole sexy experiences.

- Have the movie up and ready to go so you can just hit play while you are getting your game on.

Alright, go get ‘em, Tiger!  Enjoy Valentine’s Day and bringing porn into your sex life the other 364 days of the year!

xoxo
-J.D.

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While I’ll admit I do have a place in my heart for super fruity Sex On The Beach cocktails, I can’t say I feel the same way about the actual sexy act of screwing in the sand.  In fact, I pretty much have a strong aversion to any sex where unwelcome hangers on follow the pleasure train anywhere near my vag, and unfortunately, that’s what summertime outdoor sexin’ is to me.

I know, I know, getting’ busy in the great outdoors sounds like a fabulous idea.  And yes, in theory it is an awesome idea, but in practice there are some major logistical obstacles to navigate.  It may seem like I am being a Debby Downer, but try to think of me more as a Realistic Rhonda that wants to give you all the info before you end up with bug bites the size of silver dollars all over your bare bottom.

Luckily in the last few years we at HM4Her have written up some super helpful tips for getting through the summer with as few causalities as possible.  Check out our sage advice from summers past.

The Motion of the Ocean

Sex and water are one hot duo. Not only do you get that thrill of exhibitionism if you are in a public place (though try to keep it out of kid heavy areas, oh and um… it’s kinda illegal), you get to try out all sorts of new and exciting positions while you float nearly weightlessly through the water. Not too mention easy access through bikini bottoms and pulling the trunks down a bit! Tee Hee!

There is a little snafu though. It’s not the water that’s the problem, it’s what’s IN the water that makes for a questionable situation. Water than contains chlorine, salt, or bacteria can all pose risk of infection or irritation when it’s forced into the vagina during penetration and thrusting. That basically means all pools, lakes, oceans, rivers and Jacuzzis can mean risky business for getting down and dirty… um, literally.
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Happy Holidays! Ah, the holidays. It’s that magical time when the world folds in for one giant hug and all there is peace, joy and happiness. And eggnog… can’t forget that. While holiday time means snuggling under the Christmas tree with your significant other for some people, other folks equate this time of year with waiting in long airport lines and forced family togetherness. It’s not that we don’t love our families, but let’s be real, family time and getting busy shouldn’t even be in the same sentence. And who wants to forgo getting off the entirety of the holiday vacation?!? To help you get through the holiday season unscathed and as little sexually frustrated as possible, I’m taking this opportunity to offer up some tips to keep your sane, sexy and satisfied this year. Really, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

- Air travel is the bane of the holiday season. So many crowds and delayed flights… do you really want to make the experience any harder for yourself? Your best bet for traveling with sex toys is to stow them in your checked luggage. Especially large or phallic shaped toys. The last thing you need is some cranky security guard emptying out your bag to find the “suspiciously shaped item” (read: dildo) in your carry-on. Sure, they might open your checked bag just to double check that your rabbit is actually a vibrator, but at least it’s not in front of a line of wayward passengers.
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While the traditions of Thanksgiving now center on eating a big dinner and making turkey pictures out of hand prints, this holiday was once actually all about sharing skills and giving thanks for the good things. Obviously they were talking about sex. Okay, fine, it was all about the harvest, but really, I like to think it was all about hot puritan sex. Show me your ankles, you dirty thing. So in the spirit of the stuffing and gravy, here are a few tips to make some bedroom tradition of your own!

- Show Thanks. Let your partner know exactly how much you enjoy the way they nibbled on your labia or kiss behind your ears. Get out of that taking-for-granted rut and bring a sense of genuine thanks to your sexy time. Don’t want to just come out and say thank you? Gush your gratitude during dirty talk and moan out the many things you love, all the while, licking down their body…
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Happy Halloween! We are back at the spooky time of year where haunting and hot get together for a roll in the hay. While a good scare can get our blood pumping almost as well as a mind-blowing orgasm, I prefer to look at Halloween as the perfect time to bring your most exciting fantasies to life with the magic of role playing! Bringing costumes and props into the bedroom is a great way to have even more fun during sex. It’s the perfect opportunity to try something new! Fancy a shag with a scantily clad French maid? Go for it! What about being the cop to your own barely dressed bandit? Don’t forget the handcuffs!

Not only can you rely on this time of year to easily find costumes of all of your bedroom needs, you can find sexy versions of everything, from nurses to nuns! All you have to do is open the package (I love a good pun!) and there you go – a completely sexy witch set in 2 seconds flat. The second best part of using the Halloween store to your sex life’s advantage is that while those costumes can be a pretty penny, they will be way less money than anything you could buy at sex toy stores or lingerie shops any other time of the year. And in these economic times, saving money is the sexiest thing of all!

Whether you are testing the role playing waters or a skilled pro looking for a few new tricks to treat your partner to, follow these terrifyingly helpful tips for bringing the bounty of the season into your bedroom!

- Forget about rushing to the store as soon as it opens in August. Head to the costume shop on Halloween, or especially the day after, to get the best deals on stores’ extra inventory. While the selection may not be as stellar as the first day they hit the shelves, the 75% off clearance tag will surely dry your tears.
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Earlier this month I ran a workshop on anal play for a local toy shop.  Since the class turned out so great and people had so many great questions, I decided to share my handout with our HM4Her readers to make sure that you guys are getting the best of the best when it comes to sex education.  There was so much info that I had to break it into two parts (check out Intro to Anal Play, Part 1)! What what in the butt, let’s get to it!

In the first section I covered all the basics of why people have anal sex, the fears surrounding anal play, the expectations involved with anal sex and all of the basic anatomy of the butt.  Now we get to talk about safety, prep, techniques and toys – all the super sexy good stuff!

Safety Basics

- Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.

- Lube, Lube Lube, Lube, Lube! When it comes to butts, you can never use enough lube! Your ass does not self lubricate (like a vagina) so lube is super, extra important. For anal sex, thicker lubes are great. Your best bet is either silicone or water-based lube (as oil-based lubes can weaken condoms, if you are using them), but remember that you cannot use silicone lube with silicone toys. Also remember to add more lube frequently. If you think you’re using too much lube, add some more. Read the rest of this entry »

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As I mentioned a couple of time in the last week, I facilitated a workshop on anal play for a local sex toy store.  Not only did the workshop go wonderfully, the people that attended had awesome questions to ask.  It was a great help to have questions asked to make sure that all their fears and needs were being met and discussed, but it also showed me how very much people want to know specifics about sex and have no way of getting the info unless they are given it.  Ok, sure, they can go online and look it up, but does that mean they will be getting accurate, non-judgemental sex information?  Not necessarily. 

So, thanks to all the awesome questions I recieved, I decided to offer up my workshop handout to HM4Her readers to make sure that you guys are getting the best of the best when it comes to sex education.  This info will be cut into two parts – there is a lot to learn and I want to make sure I have enough room to get it all out!

What what in the butt, let’s get to it and start at the bottom!

To begin, I thought it would be good to talk about why people have anal sex.  The simple reason: because it feels good!  Ok, sure it feels good, but there’s more than just that.  The butt is a totally overlooked orifice that is rich in nerve endings and lots of tissue that is just waiting to be stimulated and excited.  Because anal sex has such a taboo around it, the whole experience can feel naughtier and more risque, which can make it even hotter to some people.  Plus, it can take a lot of trust when it comes to a taboo experience, so some people consider anal sex to be more intimate and only want to it explore it with that extra special someone.  No matter how you view anal sex, it can be an exciting and pleasurable experience.  As anal sex expert Tristan Taormino says: an emotionally charged act + a super sensitive spot fill of nerve endings = amazing orgasms!  Can you go wrong with that? 

 Fears

Anal sex can be intimidating or scary to some people, especially if they’ve heard stereotypes or negative experiences from other people. 

Here is a list of a few stereotypes and fears that we came up with in the workshop:

- You can damage your butt and have to wear diapers.
- If you like anal sex and you are a guy, it means you’re gay.
- You might have to deal with poop.
- Anal sex hurts really bad and I always will.
- Your ass is only an exit.

With all the stigmas and stereotypes, no wonder so many people have so many hang ups about anal sex!  By the end of this Anal 101, I will adress all of these issues/stereotypes and try to put our fears to rest. 

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In recent years, we have started to really think about what we are doing to our planet and have started taking major steps to cut down on the huge amounts of waste we are accumulating and the destruction we’ve done to our environment. Today is Earth Day, a day which was created to help foster awareness and inspire action to help get ourselves on track and keep the Earth clean and healthy for our future generations. While recycling your trash, using cloth bags when you shop and flipping the light switch when you leave the room are all great ways to get green and very sexy in their own regard, we like to make sure you know how to be eco friendly and extra aware when you are getting sexy. Check out some of these tried and true green tips next time you find yourself in a red hot situation.

- Shower together to save water. Wasting water is not gonna cut it when it comes to being eco conscious, so why not cut down the wasted water with a shower together? To make sure you aren’t letting more go down the drain while you get frisky, get wet and lather each other up, then turn the water off. You’ll still be nice and slippery without wasting any water!

- Unplug yourself. You have better things to do than watch TV or go online and if you play your cards right, you probably won’t be needing the lights on either. Take advantage of the dark – it’s free, doesn’t use any energy and is totally sexy. And if it gets too hot, skip the fan/air conditioning; open a window instead.
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Women masturbate. You know that, I know that… it’s pretty much common knowledge at this point. But for some reason, female masturbation is one of the biggest taboos in our culture. It all goes back to stigmas surrounding women’s sexuality and desire and old timey views on sexuality in general. I’ve never understood how something so harmless and good for you could be so fraught with shame, but then again I am a sex positive, liberal, lezzie sex educator with a specialty in women’s pleasure, so really, how could I understand that? In my opinion, one of the saddest missteps of our sex education system (at least in the U.S.) is our glossing over of masturbation, especially for women. People are always razzing women about faking orgasms, but the reality of the situation is: how do we expect someone to know how they like to get off if we never give them the tools to explore themselves? So, in defiance of this asinine idea that lady self lovin’ be kept under wraps, I’m here to shout it from the rooftops and talk about all the different ways that women get themselves off!

There is no one right way to masturbate. Masturbation is a wholly personal experience that really comes down to stimulating your body in whatever way feels good. Sure, the woman in that porno you just watched was flat on her back with her legs spread open, gently stroking her clit with two fingers. Sure, that’s one way to jerk off (the most camera angle friendly way, even), but as with anything else in porno, it’s definitely not the do all and say all when it comes to sex. That said, there are an infinite number of ways that women get themselves off. The techniques mentioned below are really just a drop in the bucket (well, the most common drops) when it comes to women getting busy solo style.

While there are tons of ways to do it, most women masturbate by stimulating their clitoris, whole vulva, vagina or a combo of all or some of them. Some women get themselves hotter by touching their breasts, thighs and other erogenous zones, but usually need some sort of genital component to reach the big O. The G-spot is can also be a big player during masturbation. It may be difficult for women to reach on their own, but there are sex toys that are specifically shaped to hit the sweet spot.
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