1) Rechargeable toys!  In the past few years, sex toy manufacturers have caught on that consumers are ready to toss their batteries in favor of toys that charge up over and over again.  Not only does it end up costing us less money (no batteries needed = no extra cost for those batteries), but it means that the landfills lose out on a whole bunch of old, dead batteries.  With less cost in the long run (the toy may be a little more $), less waste and usually a better quality product, the only downside is that you’ll have yet another electrical cord to have to look after.

2) Eco-Friendly sex toy materials.  While we’ve already gone over awesome toy materials, I want to reiterate how great they are for the environment as well.  Toy that are made of wood, glass, stainless steel and silicone are all super sturdy and will last a long, long, long time with proper care.  Unlike cheap toys that will fall apart easily, these toys result in less trash overall.  Plus they are all totally body safe – which is hugely important!

3) Take advantage of what’s around the house.  While buying new toys is fun, why not use what you already have?  Ice is a perfect sex toy for those folks who like temperature play and neck ties and silk scarves make great blindfolds and restraints.  Heck, even the faucet in the tub can be used to work yourself into a frenzy!  But don’t forget the cheapest and easiest sex toy of all – your hands!

4) Be mindful of where you are and what resources you are using.  Like getting busy in the car?  Make sure it’s turned off, with the air conditioning cut as well.  Really into shower sex? Have yourselves a hot quickie under the water, then move it to the bed to save on water. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but all those little wasted resources add up to make a negative impact on our environment.  Have fun, but keep that in mind!

We hope you all had a safe and sexy Earth Day!

1) Prep.  When you are getting hot and heavy, there is nothing more annoying than having to take a break to go clean off the sex toy before being able to use it. So, when it comes to travel, I say clean your toys first, dry them well, then put them each into their own individual baggie (sandwich or freezer varieties).  Not only will this keep each toy clean and ready for action, it also protects your clothes from anything that may leach chemicals (jelly rubber) and keeps lube from leaking all over your stuff.  I stress individual bags because silicone toys piled together can lead to melting silicone messes, so solo is the way to go!

2) While many vibes these days are rechargeable, batteries still operate most of the electric toys out there.  Before you stow your sex toys, remove the batteries and stick them in a baggie, which you can put right into the same baggie as the vibe, keeping them together (you can do with with charging cords as well).  Yes, you are protecting your toy in case the batteries leak acid or get corroded, but you are also safe guarding your toys from going off halfway through security, ensuring that a TSA agent will go digging for that suspicious buzzing sound – which brings us to…

3) Put your sex toys in the checked luggage instead of your carry-on.  First, you won’t have to deal with that TSA agent digging through your bag and pulling your prized rabbit vibe out for all to see.  Second, you won’t have to explain any toys that may seem suspicious to them, such as Njoy’s Eleven, which is an 11″ stainless steel wand.  It may be thrilling to your vagina, but to them it looks like a weapon.  You don’t want to have to toss any of your toys, so stick to stowing the stash.

4) Research discreet toys.  Over the years, sex toys have branched out to take on just about any shape possible, including lipstick, compact and flash drive, making it easier than ever to toss them into your bag undetected.  Take a look online to find toys that fit the bill for keeping undercover and easy to transport.

Lube, Lube, Lube.  When you think you’ve lubed enough, lube some more.  Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self lubricating orifice and you need to add lube to the mix to cut down on the friction.  Why would you want to soften the friction, you ask?  Because the anal canal is made up of delicate tissue that can easily tear if you thrust around without proper lubrication.  I heard a great analogy the other day that I just need to pass along.  Trying to have anal sex without lube is like trying to go down a waterslide without any water in it (yes in your bathing suit, where all your skin is rubbing against the slide – ouch!).  Lube it up.

Slow down!  Nothing about anal sex is a race, so if you are looking to get in, get off and go about your day – find something else to do.  The opening to the ass is guarded by two muscle rings – the inner and outer sphincters.  Though they are right next to each other, they function very differently.  The outer sphincter is controlled by you; when you flex your butt and clench it, that’s the muscle you are working.  It’s also the outer sphincter you are opening when you take deep breaths and try to relax to have anal sex.  The inner sphincter is controlled by the autonomic nervous system – the same system that tells your heart to pump and your lungs to breathe.  You have no control over it, though with time and patience, you can train it to relax and open up.  If you are rushing and plowing into as ass without time for it to relax and open its muscles, you are going to create a painful and unpleasant experience for the person attached to the butt.

You have certain flair!  Well, it’s really flare I mean actually… flare as in flared base, which anything you put up a butt should have.  A flared base just means that the base of the toy should be larger than the shaft; it acts as an anchor so that what you are playing with will not get lost in your anus.  You do not want a toy (or anything) to get lost in your butt, which it easily can when lubed up fingers are holding on and powerful orgasm contractions are involved.  A toy lost in your bum is a trip to the emergency room – and a vibrating toy is a go-to-the-ER-right-now situation.  Save yourself the pain and embarrassment, and just make sure you have a toy with a flared base.

Going from mouth to booty is great and going from vag to butt is fine, but going from ass to anywhere else is a no go.  You don’t want bacteria from your bottom getting into your vagina or your mouth because it can cause serious infections, so when you want to play in the ass then move to somewhere else, just be sure to wash your toys, fingers, penis, whatever before sticking them anywhere else.  Or even easier, just use a condom and take it off and change it when you want to move around!

Keep your anal action safe and sexy!  Enjoy!

xoxo
-JD

Now that sexy costumes have really become the norm for Halloween, there are an abundance of skimpy character frocks in the shops – definitely way bigger of a selection than your average naughty lingerie or sex toy store’s year-round picks.  Here are a few great tips to send you on your way into the costume shop with confidence and sex on the brain!

- Don’t forget the accessories.  Even if the full costumes are a little too heavy on the wallet, you can always pick up a few identifying details and use what you already have for the rest.  Have a police woman fantasy?  Grab a pair of handcuffs and a hat at the store, then just toss on some blue clothes you have at home. Done and done.

- Speaking of handcuffs, be very careful using the accessories you get at the Halloween store as  sex toys.  Sure, the handcuffs will keep your partner’s hands in one place, but they are not really intended for play and may cut or scrape their wrists or be uncomfortable.  Same thing goes for those “Indiana Jones” bull whips that the costume shop sells.  They are not the same thing as the whips sold at sex toy shops, and using them can result in injury and all sorts of other bad things.  If you are interested in playing with these toys for real, definitely check in with a reputable sex toy store (online or locally) and get the goods that are intended to get rough with!

- Think outside the box!  You and your partner may have a whole host of fantasies that are already flushed out and known to be winners when it comes to getting turned on, but when you actually get to the store, there will be costumes for characters you never even knew existed (sexy Ghostbuster?  Slimer fantasies!).  Maybe step away from your comfort zone and established fantasies and try a whole bunch of different identities (and costumes) on.  Just remember that the nothing will feel quite as sexy during the middle of the day in florescent-lit dressing rooms.  Expect that.

- Don’t worry that it’s late in the season.  I purposely wait until it’s nearly Halloween to send out this post because, while the costume shop is fully stocked in August, the deep discounts come out on November 1st.  I am a big fan of shopping the sales directly after a holiday and reaping the benefits.  Sure, you won’t have that sexy pirate costume for the big party, but that’s not what it was really for anyway, was it?

- And remember to have fun!  This is sex, after all, and it’s supposed to be exciting and hot!  Bring your partner to the store and have them pick out things for you to try on, or surprise them later with all the great finds you picked up.  Either way, have a very, very Happy Halloween… and all 364 other days of the year enjoying your new toys!

xoxo
- JD

We know that sometimes there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. A busy schedule and mind can make it easy to fall into a rut without spending any time really enjoying our bodies. Luckily, it doesn’t take a ton of time or energy to make over your rubbing one out ritual. Check out these simple ways to bring the focus back to you.

- Add some lube to the mix. Even ladies that get extra wet can benefit from bringing a little slippery stuff to their solo lovin’. Lube gets everything slick right away, so even if there isn’t much foreplay, you can go from zero to ten at the drop of a hat.

- Sexify your space. Not many folks like getting down and dirty in a dirty room. Who wants to be reminded that they need to do laundry and organize that pile of bills while they try to relax and get off? Try to do a 10 minute pick up before you settle in for a sexy self love session. Set a timer for 10 minutes and try to get as much clutter put away as you can… or at least out of your sight. It’s not about spending hours creating a love den (thought that would be awesome); it’s just making a less distracting space for you to really relax and get your groove on.

- Speaking of creating a relaxing space, don’t be afraid to sexify your chosen jerk joint with candles, fresh flowers, perfumes or anything else that makes you feel frisky. Even after you’ve done the deed, the room will still feel like a special place – and that’s never a bad thing!
- As you are taking the few minutes to get your space looking fine, don’t forget to make sure you’re feeling just as sexy. Think about something you would do to get ready for an evening of fun with a lover, like putting on make-up, or racy underpants. Why not bring those rituals into sex with yourself? Get into the mood by making yourself feel extra sexy and glamorous. You totally deserve it.

- Go for the multiples. Many women are lucky enough to experience multiple orgasms in one sitting. Take advantage of that. You won’t be sorry!

- Break out the toys! When you are feeling stressed for time or even just lazy, it’s so much easier to just call on Rosie Palm and her five friends, even if a vibe you know gives you explosive orgasms is in a drawer across the room. Explore what kind of stimulation works for you and go for it! I mean, as long a one hand is free to untie yourself, why not get as kinky as you like?

- That said, try different positions too. Sure, porn has ladies spread eagle, lying on their backs, but that is just one way that women get off (and the best position to pick it up on camera). Hop up on your knees and go at yourself doggie style, or see if standing garners a ‘standing o.’ You’ll never find out what induces mind-blowing orgasms unless you experiment!

- And, of course, don’t forget about porn enhancing your erotic romp! It’s not just for dudes rocking the lotion and tissues… duh. : )

All in all, just remember to have fun!  Happy Masturbation Month!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

- Air travel is the bane of the holiday season. So many crowds and delayed flights… do you really want to make the experience any harder for yourself? Your best bet for traveling with sex toys is to stow them in your checked luggage. Especially large or phallic shaped toys. The last thing you need is some cranky security guard emptying out your bag to find the “suspiciously shaped item” (read: dildo) in your carry-on. Sure, they might open your checked bag just to double check that your rabbit is actually a vibrator, but at least it’s not in front of a line of wayward passengers.

- If you are traveling with vibrators, make sure to remove the batteries before packing your toys. Not only can the batteries get rattled around and leak, ruining your toy, but your vibe can accidentally turn on in your bag! Along with potentially creating an embarrassing situation, you don’t want anyone mistaking that noise as a bomb or something.

- Treat your lube like any other toiletry and pack it in a waterproof bag, like a sandwich baggie. A suitcase full of lubed up clothes is not the way you want to start the holiday.

- While it may be too late for this year, be sure to take a look at all the latest disguised vibrators. Is that a tube of red lipstick, or a red hot buzzing machine? Vibes come hidden as pens, compacts, cell phones and even rubber duckies! So, even if your nosy little sister goes snooping for her present in your luggage, you are covered. An awesome pick is LELO’s Mia, a lip stick-shaped, USB charging vibe. Holy Amazingness!

- Think about your sleeping situation when you are deciding what toys to pack. Will you be on the couch, or in a room far away from everyone else? If you will be close to others, think about taking your quieter vibes. Even if you brave the airport security with your Hitachi, are you really gonna wanna plug and play at Auntie Jane’s house? The 90 year old neighbor down the block can hear that thing from her house! Stealthy vibes like a mini pocket rocket are perfect for crowded houses and close quarters.

- Don’t have any super quiet toys? Bring along your favorite vibes and just flip on the radio to muffle the sounds before you go to town. Or try getting busy under blankets or put a pillow over your vibrating bits to dampen the buzz. A great alone trick in a busy house is to run a bath and get off while the water is rising. Or better yet, bring a waterproof vibe and get down right in tub!

- And don’t forget – your hand is the quietest, easy to pack and travel with toy in your arsenal! Plus it leaves you room to pack one more pair of shoes. Score!

- If you are traveling with the significant other and looking to get your stocking stuffed, remember that getting it on in a packed house means keeping those moans to a minimum. While that can be frustrating, try to think of it as a sexy new challenge that will make your taboo tryst even hotter.

- If family time is getting to be too much, take your partner on a walk and have a little temperature play fun in the snowy weather. Tease them with dripping stalactites on exposed skin, or hot kisses in the frosty cold.

No matter how you roll this holiday season, be sure to keep it sexy, smoking and secret… and make sure Santa’s not the only one coming (to town)!

Happy Holidays

-J.D. Bauchery

In the first section I covered all the basics of why people have anal sex, the fears surrounding anal play, the expectations involved with anal sex and all of the basic anatomy of the butt.  Now we get to talk about safety, prep, techniques and toys – all the super sexy good stuff!

Safety Basics

- Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.

- Lube, Lube Lube, Lube, Lube! When it comes to butts, you can never use enough lube! Your ass does not self lubricate (like a vagina) so lube is super, extra important. For anal sex, thicker lubes are great. Your best bet is either silicone or water-based lube (as oil-based lubes can weaken condoms, if you are using them), but remember that you cannot use silicone lube with silicone toys. Also remember to add more lube frequently. If you think you’re using too much lube, add some more.

- Whatever you put up your butt must have a flared base that is bigger than the object, keeping it from going all the way in and getting stuck in your rectum. It is no fun and usually ends with a trip to the ER to get whatever it is extracted.

- Never go from the anus to the vagina or mouth without first washing off the toy, penis, finger, what have you. You can go from vag/mouth to butt, but the other way can lead to all sorts of nasty infections that you don’t want.

- Patience! Start slow and keep communication open throughout the experience. Make sure the person attached to the ass is doing alright and feeling good.

- Desensitizing lubes and gels that have a numbing effect (like Anal Ease) aren’t the answer to pain free anal sex and they can actually cause more injury. What you can’t feel can end up hurting you. Plus, if you can’t feel anything, what about your pleasure? Pleasure is the point.

- Keep your fingernails short and clean with smooth edges. The butt has delicate tissues that don’t like to be scratched or torn. If you want to finger an ass and also maintain your mani, try wearing latex gloves. They aren’t just for doctors! Also, if you do have long nails that you want to keep, put a cotton ball in the fingertip of each glove and get to business.

Preparation for Anal Play

- Make sure you are turned on. Get yourself in the mood and get comfortable. Maybe even have an orgasm first to relax and get your blood pumping!

- Take lots of deep breaths! Play some calming music to get relaxed. Anything that gets you comfortable.

- Clench and release your sphincter muscles a few times to get to know your body and how it feels. Try doing it fast and slow to see how it feels.

- Explore yourself. Get to know what’s back there! Start by feeling around the outside of your anus with your finger and when you’re ready, try inserting a well-lubed finger inside your anus.

- Take advantage of shower time and explore while you are nice and soapy.

- Speaking of soap. If you are nervous about dealing with feces, go to the bathroom prior to anal play to clear out anything in your bowels. You can also shower first and insert a soapy finger into your anus to get rid of anything additional. Some people prefer to do an enema before anal sex, but it is not a necessity. You/your partner can also wear a latex glove and/or condom to make clean up a snap.

Techniques & Tips

- Start with a butt massage to get your partner in the mood and relaxed. Begin with kneading the cheeks and running your fingers along the crack before you even reach for the butt hole.

- When you do get to the butt hole, spend some time on the outside before heading straight in. Trace little circles around the opening to the anus with a well-lubed finger. Press the puckered opening (like you would a doorbell) without inserting your finger. Ask your partner (or you, whoever’s ass is being played with) to clench and relax their sphincter muscles while you play with their anus.

- Use your fingertips to press along the butt crack, including the anus.

-Lube up your thumbs and press the pads of them against the anus, switching off in a circular motion – kind of like you are twiddling your thumbs slowly.

-Don’t forget about the genitals too! Just because you are having fun in the back, you should still remember about the vagina, clit, penis, testicles, breasts, kissing , etc. Have your partner play with their own genitals while you have fun exploring their butt!

-When you are ready to go into the anus, have your partner breathe deeply a few times and the last time they exhale, insert your index finger (well-lubed!) into their anus to the first knuckle. Go slowly and be sure to ask your partner if they are ok, if they want you to slow down, go faster, add fingers, etc.

- Once your finger/fingers are inside your partner’s butt, don’t just start thrusting in and out. Stay still for a little bit to get them accustom to the feeling. Have them clench and release a few times to see how they are enjoying it.

-Some people really like when you explore them by pressing your fingers along the inside walls when you are inside their ass. Try up, down, left and right. Go slow and don’t push too hard.

-Once they get comfortable with your fingers and are having fun, maybe incorporate a toy into the experience. A butt plug is always fun because it is designed to stay put while you have fun with other parts of their body (just wash your hands/take of gloves).

- Anal sex can be done in just about any position that vaginal sex can be done. Some people really enjoy the access that they have with doggy style (entering the ass from behind while the recipient is on their knees, bent over), while other people prefer the “bottom” to be on “top,” as they can control the speed and depth of the penetration better with that position. You can also try missionary, spooning, standing, legs over the head, whatever! As you as you can reach the butt you need!

- Remember, the first few inches of the butt are the most sensitive, so you don’t need to go in super far to have a pleasurable experience.

-Don’t forget about the G-Spot and P-Spot, which are both accessible from the anus.

 Here are a few tips of anal toys, including some we have reviewed!

Anal Beads:A series of small beads that are attached by a string or a stalk. Sometimes the beads are the same size and sometimes the increase gradually in size. (Flexi Felix is pictured)

Butt Plug:Diamond or mushroom shaped anal toy with a tapered neck and a flared base. Designed to stay put in your butt. (Little Flirt is pictured)

Anal Beads:Usually a smaller, thinner dildo with a flared base. Great for thrusting in and out. They can be used in a harness as well. (Compact is pictured)

Anal Vibe: A toy that vibrates to stimulate sensitive genital and anal tissues. Lots of butt plugs and dildos come with vibrating bullets that can be inserted into the toy. (Waterproof P-Spot Vibe is pictured)

Prostate Toy: Toys that are specifically designed to stimulate a man’s prostate gland and can intensify orgasm. (Pictured is Aneros MGX)

Now that you’ve got all the sexy, sexy info, go hit those sheets!

Remember to enjoy yourself!  It’s sex, it’s supposed to be fun!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery 

Find out more hot butt tips from the Instructional Queen in Nina Hartley’s Advanced Guide To Anal Sex For Men And Women:

In recent years, we have started to really think about what we are doing to our planet and have started taking major steps to cut down on the huge amounts of waste we are accumulating and the destruction we’ve done to our environment. Today is Earth Day, a day which was created to help foster awareness and inspire action to help get ourselves on track and keep the Earth clean and healthy for our future generations. While recycling your trash, using cloth bags when you shop and flipping the light switch when you leave the room are all great ways to get green and very sexy in their own regard, we like to make sure you know how to be eco friendly and extra aware when you are getting sexy. Check out some of these tried and true green tips next time you find yourself in a red hot situation.

- Shower together to save water. Wasting water is not gonna cut it when it comes to being eco conscious, so why not cut down the wasted water with a shower together? To make sure you aren’t letting more go down the drain while you get frisky, get wet and lather each other up, then turn the water off. You’ll still be nice and slippery without wasting any water!

- Unplug yourself. You have better things to do than watch TV or go online and if you play your cards right, you probably won’t be needing the lights on either. Take advantage of the dark – it’s free, doesn’t use any energy and is totally sexy. And if it gets too hot, skip the fan/air conditioning; open a window instead.

- Play with organic foods. Foods grown with pesticides are bad for you and the earth, so bring only organic fruits and veggies into your bedroom. Fruits and veggies are particularly awesome to play with because they are usually sweet, yummy, healthy and have little to no packaging that will go into the landfills.

- Stay home! Why go out and drive somewhere if you can get down and dirty without leaving the house? Skip the car ride, which pollutes the air, and hang out at home instead. And if you need to get out to get your rocks off, take a bike ride.

- Use rechargeable toys… or any of the new toys that are solar powered or use a crank to power up. Cutting down on batteries not only saves on trash, but actually protects our environment by keeping it free of dangerous corrosive materials and pollutants. Many sex toys these days have rechargeable permanent batteries or rely on other non-battery power sources. You may spend a little more $, but you’ll save when it comes time to buy batteries.

- Recycle your toys when they die. Give your beloved sex toys the honor they deserve by sending them to be turned into another useful object instead of just added to a pile of junk.

- Forget about the gym. Gyms use a ton of energy to power those huge treadmills and elliptical machines. Save the gym membership and the planet by getting your exercise horizontally… or vertically, or sideways, upside down, what have you! Sex is a great calorie burner and a whole hell of a lot more fun than the stairmaster.

See, being green can be super sexy. Plus, now you have a few more excuses to turn those lights off and get busy!

Happy Earth Day!

- J.D. Bauchery

- Pick up an inexpensive back massager at the drugstore. The ones that come with a variety of interchangeable heads may be your best bet. Then treat your partner to a full body massage before zeroing in on their bits. For women, run the massager lightly over her vulva and around the insides of her thighs, then head over to the sweet spot, her clit. For guys, travel down the insides of his thighs, then gently massage his balls while you use your hand on his dick. Press the massager lightly against his perineum – the spot between is balls and butthole – to give him a real thrill.

- Some people may think of this as cliché (like it really matters if it feels amazing…), but don’t forget about your local grocery store when you are looking for a sweat treat. Chocolate syrup and whip cream are prefect to lick off your partner’s body, as well as ice cream if you want a little chilly jolt. Don’t under estimate the hotness factor of being licked up and down your body – or doing the licking. Trust me, you will have your partner making sounds you never hear before. Just be careful when it comes to sugary products near your vag, they can cause nasty yeast infections. And while we are trying to get nasty, we definitely don’t mean that way. Ick.

- To add a little kinky kick, tie your bedmate to the bed with silky scarves. Don’t tie them too tight, you don’t want to cut off circulation, but just enough to let them know to stay put. Use a scarf as a blindfold as well to add an extra element of anticipation. When your partner is all tied and ready to go, move another scarf lightly over their body to invigorate their nerves. Also think about playing with a feather or any other soft and sensual material.

- Cool down those hot nights under the blankets with some ice cubes. Temperature play is one of the cheapest and easiest ways to really get your partner goin’. Trail ice along their back, trace their nipples or run it wherever makes them squirm. Really, you can pretty much do anything with it because it’s just water and it won’t hurt your body or stain your sheets. And it’s free!

- Watch porno! With video on demand sites (like HM4Her), you can easily log onto the computer and pick from a huge selection of flicks to get you guys extra in the mood. And at only a few cents a minute, getting your porno fix this way is super cheap, easy and totally convenient. Maybe bookmark a few movies you think would be good beforehand so you aren’t frantically trying to pick when all you want to do is get busy. Bring your laptop into the bedroom (or wherever you are) and set it up close enough to watch, but be sure not to put it somewhere that it will not fall easily when you get into the heavy bumping and grinding. If you only have a desktop model, don’t worry! Computer chairs work wonders when it comes to lap dances. Plus, there’s nothing sexier than getting close and sharing a seat while you get all hot and bothered.

- Bring a book! Try reading erotica out loud to turn up the temp on your night. Take turns reading stories to each other and maybe even acting out the activities as they come up. You’d never think a bookworm could be so hot! And if you don’t get to finish your story (which you probably won’t), you can always pick up where you left off next time! This way, one book can give you tons of happy nights, which makes the price tag (though not usually too high) totally worth the investment.

-One very overlooked tip when it comes to turning on the romance and spicing up you sexin’ is clean your room. Whether it’s your bedroom, living room, kitchen, office or wherever, there is nothing sexy about getting busy in the middle of clutter and dust. I’m not talking hospital corners on the sheets or anything, but spending ten minutes sweeping through and straightening can up the hot factor exponentially. Remember, it doesn’t have to take a ton of effort to let it show that you care. Plus, it gives you more options if you want to move from the bed to the floor… or dresser… or countertop… or dining room table.

Now matter how you decide to really crank the heat on these winter nights, have fun doing it. Romance is about both (or however many) of you, so don’t stress about it too much or you will miss the point. Stay warm and get hot!

Really expand you romantic repertoire with Sexual Imagination – 8 WaysTo Spice It Up:

In the spirit of sex positivity and welcoming in the new year, I’ve decided to redefine the most popular resolutions out there to make them exciting and offer up some great tips on how to keep them… sexy style, of course. And who doesn’t want to have more awesome sex in the year to come?!

Lose Weight/Go To The Gym - Fuck losing weight to fit into anyone else’s idea of what the ideal body should be. Being healthy is important though, if not just for your health’s sake, then for your sex life. Keeping fit keeps your sex drive up and your stamina and endurance going to make those sexy sessions last longer and longer. That’s right, that exhausting cardio class at the gym can actually translate to hotter sex. And who doesn’t like that?

Learn Something New/Find A Hobby – Always wanted to learn how to give really good head? Now’s the time! Sure, you could take up knitting or cooking, but wouldn’t you rather know how to give an amazing hand job? Try learning a useful new skill, like knot tying, that you can take back to your bedroom and really heat up these cold January nights. Take this time of new discoveries to get to know yourself and figure out exactly what you enjoy. I think finding new and exciting ways to get off is way better than a book club any day.

Be More Assertive – Whether you are talking about your professional life, personal relationships or in bed, having your needs be heard is really important. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want… even if you’re not 100% sure you even want it. What I mean by that is to share your fantasies. Even if you discover that you don’t, in reality, like being submissive, you’d never have found that out unless you got a chance to try. Of course it’s important to be respectful of your partner’s boundaries and own desires, but if you find yourself continuously giving and getting your delights pushed to the side, there is the perfect time to test that assertiveness.

Reduce/ Manage stress – Masturbation, masturbation, masturbation! Orgasms relieve stress. The more you get off, the more relaxed you feel. This advice also works just as well with other people. It doesn’t matter how you cum, just cum!

Spend More Time With Wife/Husband/Significant Other – Make date nights with your significant other. Have sex. Keep the passion alive by role playing or trying new positions or whatever sounds sexy to you – just make sure to spend time together.

Get Out of Debt – Sex is free… well, the legal kind at least. Instead of going out to dinner, movie, coffee, etc., have fun at home. Make a game of cards into strip poker or watch a movie you already have on DVD, but add a twist and make it a rule to lose an article of clothing at each specific point (like whenever Woody Allen stutters, or Jean-Claude Van Damme blows up a building). You’ll save money and have way more fun. Don’t have someone you want to play at home with? Try making dates at cheap places, like parks or free attractions, and maybe you’ll find that special someone(s) that you want to bring back for some free lovin’.

Get organized – A clean space is a relaxing space. Organization is really helpful when you are in a hurry to find what you are looking for. This is a definite when it comes to sex toys. You never want to be rooting around for your favorite vibrator when your pants are around your ankles and you are ready to go. Believe me, that ends up being a major boner killer. Take the time to thoroughly clean your toys and organize them to make it as easy as possible to find what you want, when you want it. Think about putting your favorite/most frequently used toys at the top of the toy box, or in a nightstand drawer close to the bed. Just remember that silicone toys cannot be stored touching each other, as they will end up melting together. And it totally defeats the purpose to have to go out and replace your toys when all you want is to get off.

Good luck with your resolutions and have fun checking them off the list!

-J.D. Bauchery