Sex Tips – Sex Toys

Ah, the booty, a magical, taboo place of wonder.  The anus has an amazing amount of delicious nerve endings that are just waiting to be stimulated.  Unfortunately the stigma and mystery around it causes so many folks to forgo the fantastic action they could be enjoying.  Along with being a great place to play, the bum has a few rules you need to abide by when flipping over.  Today’s HotMovies4Her Tips focuses on the 4 Cardinal Rules of Anal Action.

Lube, Lube, Lube.  When you think you’ve lubed enough, lube some more.  Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self lubricating orifice and you need to add lube to the mix to cut down on the friction.  Why would you want to soften the friction, you ask?  Because the anal canal is made up of delicate tissue that can easily tear if you thrust around without proper lubrication.  I heard a great analogy the other day that I just need to pass along.  Trying to have anal sex without lube is like trying to go down a waterslide without any water in it (yes in your bathing suit, where all your skin is rubbing against the slide – ouch!).  Lube it up.

Slow down!  Nothing about anal sex is a race, so if you are looking to get in, get off and go about your day – find something else to do.  The opening to the ass is guarded by two muscle rings – the inner and outer sphincters.  Though they are right next to each other, they function very differently.  The outer sphincter is controlled by you; when you flex your butt and clench it, that’s the muscle you are working.  It’s also the outer sphincter you are opening when you take deep breaths and try to relax to have anal sex.  The inner sphincter is controlled by the autonomic nervous system – the same system that tells your heart to pump and your lungs to breathe.  You have no control over it, though with time and patience, you can train it to relax and open up.  If you are rushing and plowing into as ass without time for it to relax and open its muscles, you are going to create a painful and unpleasant experience for the person attached to the butt.

You have certain flair!  Well, it’s really flare I mean actually… flare as in flared base, which anything you put up a butt should have.  A flared base just means that the base of the toy should be larger than the shaft; it acts as an anchor so that what you are playing with will not get lost in your anus.  You do not want a toy (or anything) to get lost in your butt, which it easily can when lubed up fingers are holding on and powerful orgasm contractions are involved.  A toy lost in your bum is a trip to the emergency room – and a vibrating toy is a go-to-the-ER-right-now situation.  Save yourself the pain and embarrassment, and just make sure you have a toy with a flared base.

Going from mouth to booty is great and going from vag to butt is fine, but going from ass to anywhere else is a no go.  You don’t want bacteria from your bottom getting into your vagina or your mouth because it can cause serious infections, so when you want to play in the ass then move to somewhere else, just be sure to wash your toys, fingers, penis, whatever before sticking them anywhere else.  Or even easier, just use a condom and take it off and change it when you want to move around!

Keep your anal action safe and sexy!  Enjoy!

xoxo
-JD

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It’s that time of year ago, when all of us are scrambling to the costume store in search of the perfect Halloween get up.   While the costume store is, of course, just the place to find something for all of the parties you’ve been invited to this month, you know what else the Halloween store is perfect for?  Finding great costumes and accessories to incorporate into your sex life.  That’s right, folks, I’m talking about role playing!

Now that sexy costumes have really become the norm for Halloween, there are an abundance of skimpy character frocks in the shops – definitely way bigger of a selection than your average naughty lingerie or sex toy store’s year-round picks.  Here are a few great tips to send you on your way into the costume shop with confidence and sex on the brain!

- Don’t forget the accessories.  Even if the full costumes are a little too heavy on the wallet, you can always pick up a few identifying details and use what you already have for the rest.  Have a police woman fantasy?  Grab a pair of handcuffs and a hat at the store, then just toss on some blue clothes you have at home. Done and done.

- Speaking of handcuffs, be very careful using the accessories you get at the Halloween store as  sex toys.  Sure, the handcuffs will keep your partner’s hands in one place, but they are not really intended for play and may cut or scrape their wrists or be uncomfortable.  Same thing goes for those “Indiana Jones” bull whips that the costume shop sells.  They are not the same thing as the whips sold at sex toy shops, and using them can result in injury and all sorts of other bad things.  If you are interested in playing with these toys for real, definitely check in with a reputable sex toy store (online or locally) and get the goods that are intended to get rough with! Read the rest of this entry »

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Happy Masturbation Month to one and all! Of course solo sex is a year-round activity, but during the lovely month of May we give an extra shout out to self lovin’ and take it upon ourselves to make sure that folks are enjoying the maximum capacity of masturbation fun. In past years, we’ve touched on the different ways that gals get themselves off, how to buy sex toys, and all the various amazing names we have for ladies loving solo style (who can forget ‘polishing the pearl’ and ‘sending muffin Morse Code’). This time around we’ve decided to get into the details of making your diddle-fest as delightful as possible!

We know that sometimes there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. A busy schedule and mind can make it easy to fall into a rut without spending any time really enjoying our bodies. Luckily, it doesn’t take a ton of time or energy to make over your rubbing one out ritual. Check out these simple ways to bring the focus back to you.
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Happy Holidays! Ah, the holidays. It’s that magical time when the world folds in for one giant hug and all there is peace, joy and happiness. And eggnog… can’t forget that. While holiday time means snuggling under the Christmas tree with your significant other for some people, other folks equate this time of year with waiting in long airport lines and forced family togetherness. It’s not that we don’t love our families, but let’s be real, family time and getting busy shouldn’t even be in the same sentence. And who wants to forgo getting off the entirety of the holiday vacation?!? To help you get through the holiday season unscathed and as little sexually frustrated as possible, I’m taking this opportunity to offer up some tips to keep your sane, sexy and satisfied this year. Really, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

- Air travel is the bane of the holiday season. So many crowds and delayed flights… do you really want to make the experience any harder for yourself? Your best bet for traveling with sex toys is to stow them in your checked luggage. Especially large or phallic shaped toys. The last thing you need is some cranky security guard emptying out your bag to find the “suspiciously shaped item” (read: dildo) in your carry-on. Sure, they might open your checked bag just to double check that your rabbit is actually a vibrator, but at least it’s not in front of a line of wayward passengers.
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Earlier this month I ran a workshop on anal play for a local toy shop.  Since the class turned out so great and people had so many great questions, I decided to share my handout with our HM4Her readers to make sure that you guys are getting the best of the best when it comes to sex education.  There was so much info that I had to break it into two parts (check out Intro to Anal Play, Part 1)! What what in the butt, let’s get to it!

In the first section I covered all the basics of why people have anal sex, the fears surrounding anal play, the expectations involved with anal sex and all of the basic anatomy of the butt.  Now we get to talk about safety, prep, techniques and toys – all the super sexy good stuff!

Safety Basics

- Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.

- Lube, Lube Lube, Lube, Lube! When it comes to butts, you can never use enough lube! Your ass does not self lubricate (like a vagina) so lube is super, extra important. For anal sex, thicker lubes are great. Your best bet is either silicone or water-based lube (as oil-based lubes can weaken condoms, if you are using them), but remember that you cannot use silicone lube with silicone toys. Also remember to add more lube frequently. If you think you’re using too much lube, add some more. Read the rest of this entry »

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In recent years, we have started to really think about what we are doing to our planet and have started taking major steps to cut down on the huge amounts of waste we are accumulating and the destruction we’ve done to our environment. Today is Earth Day, a day which was created to help foster awareness and inspire action to help get ourselves on track and keep the Earth clean and healthy for our future generations. While recycling your trash, using cloth bags when you shop and flipping the light switch when you leave the room are all great ways to get green and very sexy in their own regard, we like to make sure you know how to be eco friendly and extra aware when you are getting sexy. Check out some of these tried and true green tips next time you find yourself in a red hot situation.

- Shower together to save water. Wasting water is not gonna cut it when it comes to being eco conscious, so why not cut down the wasted water with a shower together? To make sure you aren’t letting more go down the drain while you get frisky, get wet and lather each other up, then turn the water off. You’ll still be nice and slippery without wasting any water!

- Unplug yourself. You have better things to do than watch TV or go online and if you play your cards right, you probably won’t be needing the lights on either. Take advantage of the dark – it’s free, doesn’t use any energy and is totally sexy. And if it gets too hot, skip the fan/air conditioning; open a window instead.
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It’s that time of year when romance is in the air. Yeah, I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s a whole lot nicer than ‘it’s the time of year when everything is grey and slushy and you are just as likely to step in snow covered dog poop than not,’ so just bear with me. Valentine’s Day may be around the corner, but even after it passes, there’s no rule that says the romance needs to fizzle. In fact, now is the perfect time to make your days sizzle with romance and amazing sex. You’re already hibernating inside under all those blankets, so really, why not make a warm little tent for two (or three, or four…) and show your partner exactly what you meant when you said you needed to “warm up.” And not to worry if you are a little light in the wallet area right now (you and everyone else), these romance reigniters are budget friendly and easy to pick up around town.

- Pick up an inexpensive back massager at the drugstore. The ones that come with a variety of interchangeable heads may be your best bet. Then treat your partner to a full body massage before zeroing in on their bits. For women, run the massager lightly over her vulva and around the insides of her thighs, then head over to the sweet spot, her clit. For guys, travel down the insides of his thighs, then gently massage his balls while you use your hand on his dick. Press the massager lightly against his perineum – the spot between is balls and butthole – to give him a real thrill.

- Some people may think of this as cliché (like it really matters if it feels amazing…), but don’t forget about your local grocery store when you are looking for a sweat treat. Chocolate syrup and whip cream are prefect to lick off your partner’s body, as well as ice cream if you want a little chilly jolt. Don’t under estimate the hotness factor of being licked up and down your body – or doing the licking. Trust me, you will have your partner making sounds you never hear before. Just be careful when it comes to sugary products near your vag, they can cause nasty yeast infections. And while we are trying to get nasty, we definitely don’t mean that way. Ick.

- To add a little kinky kick, tie your bedmate to the bed with silky scarves. Don’t tie them too tight, you don’t want to cut off circulation, but just enough to let them know to stay put. Use a scarf as a blindfold as well to add an extra element of anticipation. When your partner is all tied and ready to go, move another scarf lightly over their body to invigorate their nerves. Also think about playing with a feather or any other soft and sensual material.

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Each year as December 31st nears, every magazine, TV show, website, distant relative, whatever/whoever gives a list of what they think are the best ways to “better yourself” in the upcoming year. While most of these New Year’s resolutions make sense in a betterment way, according to research only 8% of people successfully achieve their resolutions. Eight percent! That means 92% are left feeling like they suck. What fun is that?

In the spirit of sex positivity and welcoming in the new year, I’ve decided to redefine the most popular resolutions out there to make them exciting and offer up some great tips on how to keep them… sexy style, of course. And who doesn’t want to have more awesome sex in the year to come?!

Lose Weight/Go To The Gym - Fuck losing weight to fit into anyone else’s idea of what the ideal body should be. Being healthy is important though, if not just for your health’s sake, then for your sex life. Keeping fit keeps your sex drive up and your stamina and endurance going to make those sexy sessions last longer and longer. That’s right, that exhausting cardio class at the gym can actually translate to hotter sex. And who doesn’t like that?

Learn Something New/Find A Hobby – Always wanted to learn how to give really good head? Now’s the time! Sure, you could take up knitting or cooking, but wouldn’t you rather know how to give an amazing hand job? Try learning a useful new skill, like knot tying, that you can take back to your bedroom and really heat up these cold January nights. Take this time of new discoveries to get to know yourself and figure out exactly what you enjoy. I think finding new and exciting ways to get off is way better than a book club any day.
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My partner’s penis is smaller than I’d like, what are the best positions to maximize his goods?
-Desperately Seeking Size
Miami, FL

Not all penises were created equal. Some are bigger, some smaller and, unfortunately, some fall into the “what am I supposed to do with that?!?” category (which includes both the very small and very big). While some people love the smaller stallions, others need a little more horsepower. One of the downsides to having sex using a biological cock (other than the whole baby-making aspect) is that unlike using a harness and dildo, you’re man’s meat is stationary. You can’t just swap out an undesirable size for one that works better with your shape and size preference. But not to fear, there are easy workarounds to get past the problem of the pequeño penis.

Fortunately for us, the body is a bendy and exciting tool in the arsenal of tricks you can use to enhance your sex life. The positions that best suit a smaller suitor are ones that compact the vagina to make it as short as possible. Shorter vagina means that you get deeper penetration and feel more of your vagina being stimulated by his penis.
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Oh, G-Spot. To some you are so simple, and to others, you are harder to crack than the Da Vinci code. A few months ago I wrote a basic intro to the G-Spot, but since then, I’ve received tons of inquiries to find out even more about the mysterious Gräfenberg Spot. So, I’ve decided to get down and dirty with our good friend G again and bring you all I can about our international man of mystery.

Plus – and this is a very exciting bonus – our good friends over at Babeland have offered to give us an awesome G-Spot lovin’ prize to giveaway to one of our lucky readers! The Orchid G + Smart Girls Guide to the G-Spot Combo! To win this combo, send your name and address to The Porn Librarianany time between Monday, Sept. 1 at 8am and Friday, Sept. 5 at 12 noon (EST). Make sure you put “G-Spot Giveaway” in the subject. She will draw a name on Friday and email the lucky winner! Unfortunately this giveaway is limited to U.S. residents only. Sorry to all you Canucks and friends on the other side of the pond!

Ok, back to the Spot in the spotlight! Before I get into the “even more” about the G-Spot, let’s have a quick look back at the basics:

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