Sex Tips – Health & Hygiene

Ah, the booty, a magical, taboo place of wonder.  The anus has an amazing amount of delicious nerve endings that are just waiting to be stimulated.  Unfortunately the stigma and mystery around it causes so many folks to forgo the fantastic action they could be enjoying.  Along with being a great place to play, the bum has a few rules you need to abide by when flipping over.  Today’s HotMovies4Her Tips focuses on the 4 Cardinal Rules of Anal Action.

Lube, Lube, Lube.  When you think you’ve lubed enough, lube some more.  Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self lubricating orifice and you need to add lube to the mix to cut down on the friction.  Why would you want to soften the friction, you ask?  Because the anal canal is made up of delicate tissue that can easily tear if you thrust around without proper lubrication.  I heard a great analogy the other day that I just need to pass along.  Trying to have anal sex without lube is like trying to go down a waterslide without any water in it (yes in your bathing suit, where all your skin is rubbing against the slide – ouch!).  Lube it up.

Slow down!  Nothing about anal sex is a race, so if you are looking to get in, get off and go about your day – find something else to do.  The opening to the ass is guarded by two muscle rings – the inner and outer sphincters.  Though they are right next to each other, they function very differently.  The outer sphincter is controlled by you; when you flex your butt and clench it, that’s the muscle you are working.  It’s also the outer sphincter you are opening when you take deep breaths and try to relax to have anal sex.  The inner sphincter is controlled by the autonomic nervous system – the same system that tells your heart to pump and your lungs to breathe.  You have no control over it, though with time and patience, you can train it to relax and open up.  If you are rushing and plowing into as ass without time for it to relax and open its muscles, you are going to create a painful and unpleasant experience for the person attached to the butt.

You have certain flair!  Well, it’s really flare I mean actually… flare as in flared base, which anything you put up a butt should have.  A flared base just means that the base of the toy should be larger than the shaft; it acts as an anchor so that what you are playing with will not get lost in your anus.  You do not want a toy (or anything) to get lost in your butt, which it easily can when lubed up fingers are holding on and powerful orgasm contractions are involved.  A toy lost in your bum is a trip to the emergency room – and a vibrating toy is a go-to-the-ER-right-now situation.  Save yourself the pain and embarrassment, and just make sure you have a toy with a flared base.

Going from mouth to booty is great and going from vag to butt is fine, but going from ass to anywhere else is a no go.  You don’t want bacteria from your bottom getting into your vagina or your mouth because it can cause serious infections, so when you want to play in the ass then move to somewhere else, just be sure to wash your toys, fingers, penis, whatever before sticking them anywhere else.  Or even easier, just use a condom and take it off and change it when you want to move around!

Keep your anal action safe and sexy!  Enjoy!

xoxo
-JD

No Comments »

We talk about porn a lot here on HotMoviesForHer.  I guess that’s pretty par for the course when you peddle dirty movies, but what I mean by that is that we spend a lot of time talking about the actual movies and their delicious stars, and don’t chat too much about how to incorporate porno into your real life love practices!  So, while this particular post is inspired by the impending lurve holiday, these ideas and tips that can be used whenever!

When it comes to setting the mood for sexy action, porn can be a great way to get the juices flowing, so to speak.  It’s easy to get all hot and bothered when folks on screen start shedding their clothes and touching up on each other – especially when they start moaning (my personal favorite).  Remember that the brain is your biggest sex organ, and plugging all those delectable visuals directly into that sexy organ is sure to get you and your partner thinking dirty thoughts.

Porn can also be a great communication tool.  It can be difficult talking about sex – even with a partner you love, and porn can sometimes help ease those conversation.  Have a budding curiosity about spanking, but not sure how to bring it up to your partner?  Try turning on a porno featuring some spanking and comment on how sexy you find the action.  Talking about your interest while watching the racy visuals can help get even the most skeptical of partners hot and ready to give it a go.

On that note, dirty movies are also a really great place to get ideas on different ways to get it on.  And I’m not just talking about instructional porn, though there are so many super hot instructionals out there.  Any porn can be an awesome source of  information and ideas – from positions and styles, to dirty talk and role playing scenarios.  Open your mind and let your imagination wander as you watch the movie, or why not play along while the movies goes.  Nothing beats a little porno karaoke!

Just be sure to find something that appeals to both of you.  While that may be a tricky venture, it will ultimately lead to more communication and an evening that you both really enjoy!  There are plenty of movies that offer the perfect mix of hardcore and softcore, if that’s your poison.  And so many movies where everyone is having a super hot and fun time.  Basically – if you can think it, we probably have a dozen flicks to get you off!  And don’t forgot to keep an open mind… maybe you’ll find something you never knew you were looking for!

And now a few tips to physically bring the porno to your own personal party.

- Buy minutes on HM4Her (or a DVD, though HM4Her is way better) and send your sweetie a picture or screen cap with the caption “just wait until later…”

- Including a free minutes card inside your Valentine card.

- Let the process of choosing a movie be part of the whole sexy experiences.

- Have the movie up and ready to go so you can just hit play while you are getting your game on.

Alright, go get ‘em, Tiger!  Enjoy Valentine’s Day and bringing porn into your sex life the other 364 days of the year!

xoxo
-J.D.

1 Comment »

Happy New Year!  Today we are four days into January and officially jumping headfirst into 2011. Now that you’ve had a few days to think things over, it’s time to really hunker down and take resolution writing seriously.  When it comes to listing all of the good intentions we have for the year, every magazine, TV show, website, distant relative, whatever/whoever gives their picks of what they think are the best ways to “better yourself” in the upcoming year. While most of these New Year’s resolutions make sense in a “bettering” context, according to research, only a slim margin of folks successfully achieve their resolutions.  That means whole bunches of other people are left feeling like they suck.  No, ma’am, that’s not gonna fly with us!

In the spirit of sex positivity and welcoming in 2011, we’ve decided to switch things up a bit and redefine the most popular resolutions to make them a little more exciting, as well as offer up a few  tips on how to actually make them stick!  And who would we be if we didn’t make sure they focused on all things sexy and fun?!  So sit back, give a read and take it all to heart, because who has ever said they had a lousy year because of all the great sex they’ve been having? Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

While I’ll admit I do have a place in my heart for super fruity Sex On The Beach cocktails, I can’t say I feel the same way about the actual sexy act of screwing in the sand.  In fact, I pretty much have a strong aversion to any sex where unwelcome hangers on follow the pleasure train anywhere near my vag, and unfortunately, that’s what summertime outdoor sexin’ is to me.

I know, I know, getting’ busy in the great outdoors sounds like a fabulous idea.  And yes, in theory it is an awesome idea, but in practice there are some major logistical obstacles to navigate.  It may seem like I am being a Debby Downer, but try to think of me more as a Realistic Rhonda that wants to give you all the info before you end up with bug bites the size of silver dollars all over your bare bottom.

Luckily in the last few years we at HM4Her have written up some super helpful tips for getting through the summer with as few causalities as possible.  Check out our sage advice from summers past.

The Motion of the Ocean

Sex and water are one hot duo. Not only do you get that thrill of exhibitionism if you are in a public place (though try to keep it out of kid heavy areas, oh and um… it’s kinda illegal), you get to try out all sorts of new and exciting positions while you float nearly weightlessly through the water. Not too mention easy access through bikini bottoms and pulling the trunks down a bit! Tee Hee!

There is a little snafu though. It’s not the water that’s the problem, it’s what’s IN the water that makes for a questionable situation. Water than contains chlorine, salt, or bacteria can all pose risk of infection or irritation when it’s forced into the vagina during penetration and thrusting. That basically means all pools, lakes, oceans, rivers and Jacuzzis can mean risky business for getting down and dirty… um, literally.
Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

Happy Masturbation Month to one and all! Of course solo sex is a year-round activity, but during the lovely month of May we give an extra shout out to self lovin’ and take it upon ourselves to make sure that folks are enjoying the maximum capacity of masturbation fun. In past years, we’ve touched on the different ways that gals get themselves off, how to buy sex toys, and all the various amazing names we have for ladies loving solo style (who can forget ‘polishing the pearl’ and ‘sending muffin Morse Code’). This time around we’ve decided to get into the details of making your diddle-fest as delightful as possible!

We know that sometimes there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. A busy schedule and mind can make it easy to fall into a rut without spending any time really enjoying our bodies. Luckily, it doesn’t take a ton of time or energy to make over your rubbing one out ritual. Check out these simple ways to bring the focus back to you.
Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

Happy Earth Day everyone!  It’s that one special day of the year when folks are called upon to really look at how they treat the environment around them and asked to make changes to help keep this beautiful planet in good health for generations to come.  And one of the sexiest ways to love the Earth is to get busy green-style!

That’s right – greening up your sex life is an awesome way to help clean up the environment- and bring a little extra dirty into your own bedroom.  Here are a few helpful tips to make your Earth Day super hot – you know, to keep those glaciers cold!

- Turn off the lights!  Yes, screwing in a well-lit room can be totally hot, but why not switch it up a bit and switch that flip!  Getting frisky in the dark can not only add an edge of mystery (where is that hand going!?!), it saves a bunch of energy.  Up the ante with a little romantic moonlight for a totally natural night in the sack. Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

Earlier this month I ran a workshop on anal play for a local toy shop.  Since the class turned out so great and people had so many great questions, I decided to share my handout with our HM4Her readers to make sure that you guys are getting the best of the best when it comes to sex education.  There was so much info that I had to break it into two parts (check out Intro to Anal Play, Part 1)! What what in the butt, let’s get to it!

In the first section I covered all the basics of why people have anal sex, the fears surrounding anal play, the expectations involved with anal sex and all of the basic anatomy of the butt.  Now we get to talk about safety, prep, techniques and toys – all the super sexy good stuff!

Safety Basics

- Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.

- Lube, Lube Lube, Lube, Lube! When it comes to butts, you can never use enough lube! Your ass does not self lubricate (like a vagina) so lube is super, extra important. For anal sex, thicker lubes are great. Your best bet is either silicone or water-based lube (as oil-based lubes can weaken condoms, if you are using them), but remember that you cannot use silicone lube with silicone toys. Also remember to add more lube frequently. If you think you’re using too much lube, add some more. Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

As I mentioned a couple of time in the last week, I facilitated a workshop on anal play for a local sex toy store.  Not only did the workshop go wonderfully, the people that attended had awesome questions to ask.  It was a great help to have questions asked to make sure that all their fears and needs were being met and discussed, but it also showed me how very much people want to know specifics about sex and have no way of getting the info unless they are given it.  Ok, sure, they can go online and look it up, but does that mean they will be getting accurate, non-judgemental sex information?  Not necessarily. 

So, thanks to all the awesome questions I recieved, I decided to offer up my workshop handout to HM4Her readers to make sure that you guys are getting the best of the best when it comes to sex education.  This info will be cut into two parts – there is a lot to learn and I want to make sure I have enough room to get it all out!

What what in the butt, let’s get to it and start at the bottom!

To begin, I thought it would be good to talk about why people have anal sex.  The simple reason: because it feels good!  Ok, sure it feels good, but there’s more than just that.  The butt is a totally overlooked orifice that is rich in nerve endings and lots of tissue that is just waiting to be stimulated and excited.  Because anal sex has such a taboo around it, the whole experience can feel naughtier and more risque, which can make it even hotter to some people.  Plus, it can take a lot of trust when it comes to a taboo experience, so some people consider anal sex to be more intimate and only want to it explore it with that extra special someone.  No matter how you view anal sex, it can be an exciting and pleasurable experience.  As anal sex expert Tristan Taormino says: an emotionally charged act + a super sensitive spot fill of nerve endings = amazing orgasms!  Can you go wrong with that? 

 Fears

Anal sex can be intimidating or scary to some people, especially if they’ve heard stereotypes or negative experiences from other people. 

Here is a list of a few stereotypes and fears that we came up with in the workshop:

- You can damage your butt and have to wear diapers.
- If you like anal sex and you are a guy, it means you’re gay.
- You might have to deal with poop.
- Anal sex hurts really bad and I always will.
- Your ass is only an exit.

With all the stigmas and stereotypes, no wonder so many people have so many hang ups about anal sex!  By the end of this Anal 101, I will adress all of these issues/stereotypes and try to put our fears to rest. 

Read the rest of this entry »

2 Comments »

In recent years, we have started to really think about what we are doing to our planet and have started taking major steps to cut down on the huge amounts of waste we are accumulating and the destruction we’ve done to our environment. Today is Earth Day, a day which was created to help foster awareness and inspire action to help get ourselves on track and keep the Earth clean and healthy for our future generations. While recycling your trash, using cloth bags when you shop and flipping the light switch when you leave the room are all great ways to get green and very sexy in their own regard, we like to make sure you know how to be eco friendly and extra aware when you are getting sexy. Check out some of these tried and true green tips next time you find yourself in a red hot situation.

- Shower together to save water. Wasting water is not gonna cut it when it comes to being eco conscious, so why not cut down the wasted water with a shower together? To make sure you aren’t letting more go down the drain while you get frisky, get wet and lather each other up, then turn the water off. You’ll still be nice and slippery without wasting any water!

- Unplug yourself. You have better things to do than watch TV or go online and if you play your cards right, you probably won’t be needing the lights on either. Take advantage of the dark – it’s free, doesn’t use any energy and is totally sexy. And if it gets too hot, skip the fan/air conditioning; open a window instead.
Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

Contrary to popular belief, sex is not a linear event.  While all the movies show that first you kiss, then you take off the shirts, then down the pants with your hands, then mouth, and then get to the real deal – intercourse, that’s not really how things have to be.  Who says I can’t go down on my partner, then just kiss her?  Or only fuck her with my hands?  In reality, there is no right or wrong way to fuck. And just because handjobs are foreplay to some folks, it doesn’t mean a good handjob can’t take you all the way home and beyond.

To get my point across loud and clear, I am putting a moratorium on the idea of foreplay. I am of the firm belief that anything that traditionally comes before intercourse is perfectly capable of standing on its own. And though we may play that way and then go to intercourse, there should be no prescribed agenda or script to follow. In honor of giving the big F.U. to anyone telling anyone else how to have sex, I am offering up a two-part Sex Tips that deal directly with our five fingered friends, our hands!

The first part of this Sex Tips covered our XY chromosomed friends, so now we are heading into lady territory! Call it finger fucking, finger banging, fingering, or whatever you will, it’s all the same thing – using your fingers/whole hand to stimulate a woman’s most sensitive bits.

Let’s talk about the basics of a handjob. No matter what it looks like on the movie or tv screens, giving a woman a handjob is a lot more than just ramming your fingers into her vag. It’s an art, and it takes way more skill to make a woman orgasm than just blindly pawing at her goods. For women, hand jobs come in a few different flavors – some women like only their clitoris touched, while others are strictly about penetration, though many women enjoy both fingers on their clit and inside their vagina.
Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off