Sex Tips – Health & Hygiene

Recently, two of my friends asked me about choosing condoms.  One of which had a bad experience.  It always bums me out when the women (or anyone) I love have a less-than-satisfactory experience.  I was happy to advise and I thought it might be a good time to share a little information with you guys.  Keep in mind that this isn’t a “how-to,” but instead more of a “help with choosing.”  The right condom is obviously important to men, but women are just as affected by the type of protection used.  Yes, female condoms exist, but this post is focused on the penis covering kind.

1. Latex or Non-latex (Polyurethane and Lambskin)  – One of the first things you need to decide is whether or not you’re going to use a latex or non-latex condom.  Latex condoms are the most common, but many people are allergic to them.  If you find that products made from latex irritate your skin, you don’t want that stuff coming in contact with your goods.  Polyurethane condoms are thinner, which could mean more sensation, but they’re not quite as flexible as latex.  Which one to use is based on your preference and skin situation.  *Spermicidal lube/nonoxynol 9 – I haven’t seen proof that this stuff works, but have seen tons of evidence that this causes unhappy vaginas.  I have also read reports of this stuff encouraging the spread of HIV.

2. Lubricated?  Many condoms come lubricated.  While I love lube and encourage using it, I tend to encourage people to use non-lubricated condoms along with their preferred water-based lubricant.  All bodies are different, but often times people have adverse reactions to the lube used on condoms.  You never know what you’re getting – glycerin, parabens or other chemicals that might cause adverse reactionse.  Go with a lube you are comfortable with.  Always use water-based or silicone-based lubricant!  Oil-based varieties break down condoms.  In addition, never use oil-based lube because it is difficult to wash from the vagina and in turn causes infections.  Here’s the rub – I have yet to find a non-latex condom that is non-lubricated.

3. Size – Condoms come in about 1 trillion different sizes and shapes.  Which one works best for you is based on his penis size and again, preference.  There are “regular” sized, large and slight variations among the different brands.  Some men choose the bigger condoms because they find the regular size to be too tight.  As long as you can smooth the condom down his cock and get all of the air bubbles out, you’re good.  Working out any air bubbles is a must as they can cause the condom to tear easily!  When it comes to the ribs, ridges and bumps it is up to you as to what you tickles your fancy.  Some people swear that texture makes all the difference while others feel nothing at all.

4. Flavored and Scented – No.  Just, no.  When you start adding flavors and scents to products you start adding for chemicals that are genuinely not good for your vagina.  There is a good chance you’ll have some sort of reaction to that blueberry blast flavored meat sheet.  Feel free to enjoy all of the fun you can stand with tastes and smells, but do it far away from your pussy!  One thing I do want to point out (that really doesn’t have anything to do with this is subject at all): Vegan condoms exist.  I had no idea.

I hope this helps in with choosing the right condom for you!

Love,

Ginger

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In BDSM (which stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism), a Dominance and Submission (D/s) relationship (I’m using the word relationship because all interactions are relationships in some way – I don’t necessarily mean an actual partnered relationship) is a consensual power exchange that includes one (or more) people to take on a dominating role and one (or more) people to take on a submitting role.

A submissive, or sub, in a D/s sex act or relationship submits by choice to the will of their dominant partner – all consensually. The role of a dominant (dom) is the opposite – to willingly dominate their partner. Ways of dominating and submitting can include bondage, all kinds of pain and impact play, humiliation and so much more.

[I really can’t stress enough that BDSM is all consensual and a willing act on both sides. If it is not consensual, then it is problematic and not part of BDSM culture.]

While it might seem that the dom would have all the power in this set up, it’s actually the sub who should be holding the reigns.  How does that work, you ask?  Well, here are four tips that keep a sub empowered and safe, and generally help create a safe and consensual BDSM environment.

1)      Communication is KEY.  Before you even pull out the flogger, all the people that are in the scene should negotiate what ways they would like to play, what they do not want to do, any limitations they have, what kinds of sensations they enjoy/do not enjoy, and more.  There needs to be a clear boundary of what can and cannot happen, and each person’s limits.

2)       Safe Word.  Before getting into it, be sure that everyone in the scene agrees upon a specific word that anyone can say to stop the action.  Pick a word that you wouldn’t normally hear in a sexy situation, like “Alaska,” or “Pineapple.”  So when that word is spoken, everyone knows to stop.  You can also use traffic signal colors as a code – green for go, yellow for slow down/check in, red for stop now.  Whatever you choose, it’s best not to pick a word like “Stop” or “No” because they could easily be said as part of the playing. As well, if you are playing in a way that can become non-verbal, make sure to have signs or sounds to signal “stop.”

3)      Never hesitate to stop the scene if you think that anything that is happening may be dangerous to you.  An example would be if you were enjoying some impact play and your top started hitting you in no-hit zones, like the joints and kidney area.  You can’t always assume that a top will know how to play safely (though before playing, they really should know how to safely use the instruments they are wielding), and it’s everybody’s responsibility to speak up.  This is supposed to be fun and hot, after all, not something that lands you in the hospital with critical injuries.

4)      Make sure you trust who you are playing with.  Sure, it may seem like a “duh” tip, but really, a sub is totally vulnerable in a D/s situation, and it’s important to know and trust who is on the dominating end.  One good measure that you can use to get a sense of your trust for someone else (taking the sexual tension part out of it all) is, would you give that person a key to your car or your house?  Do you feel safe with them out of a scene?  Just something to think about.

Remember, these are only four tips our of tons and tons of them, so be sure to do your own research prior to playing!

xoxo
-JD

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While we may have missed Earth Day (as the 22nd ended up on a Sunday this year), we know that folks are showing more and more interest in keeping their lives green year-round. To celebrate both a belated Earth Day, as well as that dedication, we thought we’d offer up our HotMovies4Her tips, tools and tricks for eco-friendly action and the greenest orgasms around.

1) Rechargeable toys!  In the past few years, sex toy manufacturers have caught on that consumers are ready to toss their batteries in favor of toys that charge up over and over again.  Not only does it end up costing us less money (no batteries needed = no extra cost for those batteries), but it means that the landfills lose out on a whole bunch of old, dead batteries.  With less cost in the long run (the toy may be a little more $), less waste and usually a better quality product, the only downside is that you’ll have yet another electrical cord to have to look after.

2) Eco-Friendly sex toy materials.  While we’ve already gone over awesome toy materials, I want to reiterate how great they are for the environment as well.  Toy that are made of wood, glass, stainless steel and silicone are all super sturdy and will last a long, long, long time with proper care.  Unlike cheap toys that will fall apart easily, these toys result in less trash overall.  Plus they are all totally body safe – which is hugely important!

3) Take advantage of what’s around the house.  While buying new toys is fun, why not use what you already have?  Ice is a perfect sex toy for those folks who like temperature play and neck ties and silk scarves make great blindfolds and restraints.  Heck, even the faucet in the tub can be used to work yourself into a frenzy!  But don’t forget the cheapest and easiest sex toy of all – your hands!

4) Be mindful of where you are and what resources you are using.  Like getting busy in the car?  Make sure it’s turned off, with the air conditioning cut as well.  Really into shower sex? Have yourselves a hot quickie under the water, then move it to the bed to save on water. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but all those little wasted resources add up to make a negative impact on our environment.  Have fun, but keep that in mind!

We hope you all had a safe and sexy Earth Day!

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Ah, the booty, a magical, taboo place of wonder.  The anus has an amazing amount of delicious nerve endings that are just waiting to be stimulated.  Unfortunately the stigma and mystery around it causes so many folks to forgo the fantastic action they could be enjoying.  Along with being a great place to play, the bum has a few rules you need to abide by when flipping over.  Today’s HotMovies4Her Tips focuses on the 4 Cardinal Rules of Anal Action.

Lube, Lube, Lube.  When you think you’ve lubed enough, lube some more.  Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self lubricating orifice and you need to add lube to the mix to cut down on the friction.  Why would you want to soften the friction, you ask?  Because the anal canal is made up of delicate tissue that can easily tear if you thrust around without proper lubrication.  I heard a great analogy the other day that I just need to pass along.  Trying to have anal sex without lube is like trying to go down a waterslide without any water in it (yes in your bathing suit, where all your skin is rubbing against the slide – ouch!).  Lube it up.

Slow down!  Nothing about anal sex is a race, so if you are looking to get in, get off and go about your day – find something else to do.  The opening to the ass is guarded by two muscle rings – the inner and outer sphincters.  Though they are right next to each other, they function very differently.  The outer sphincter is controlled by you; when you flex your butt and clench it, that’s the muscle you are working.  It’s also the outer sphincter you are opening when you take deep breaths and try to relax to have anal sex.  The inner sphincter is controlled by the autonomic nervous system – the same system that tells your heart to pump and your lungs to breathe.  You have no control over it, though with time and patience, you can train it to relax and open up.  If you are rushing and plowing into as ass without time for it to relax and open its muscles, you are going to create a painful and unpleasant experience for the person attached to the butt.

You have certain flair!  Well, it’s really flare I mean actually… flare as in flared base, which anything you put up a butt should have.  A flared base just means that the base of the toy should be larger than the shaft; it acts as an anchor so that what you are playing with will not get lost in your anus.  You do not want a toy (or anything) to get lost in your butt, which it easily can when lubed up fingers are holding on and powerful orgasm contractions are involved.  A toy lost in your bum is a trip to the emergency room – and a vibrating toy is a go-to-the-ER-right-now situation.  Save yourself the pain and embarrassment, and just make sure you have a toy with a flared base.

Going from mouth to booty is great and going from vag to butt is fine, but going from ass to anywhere else is a no go.  You don’t want bacteria from your bottom getting into your vagina or your mouth because it can cause serious infections, so when you want to play in the ass then move to somewhere else, just be sure to wash your toys, fingers, penis, whatever before sticking them anywhere else.  Or even easier, just use a condom and take it off and change it when you want to move around!

Keep your anal action safe and sexy!  Enjoy!

xoxo
-JD

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We talk about porn a lot here on HotMoviesForHer.  I guess that’s pretty par for the course when you peddle dirty movies, but what I mean by that is that we spend a lot of time talking about the actual movies and their delicious stars, and don’t chat too much about how to incorporate porno into your real life love practices!  So, while this particular post is inspired by the impending lurve holiday, these ideas and tips that can be used whenever!

When it comes to setting the mood for sexy action, porn can be a great way to get the juices flowing, so to speak.  It’s easy to get all hot and bothered when folks on screen start shedding their clothes and touching up on each other – especially when they start moaning (my personal favorite).  Remember that the brain is your biggest sex organ, and plugging all those delectable visuals directly into that sexy organ is sure to get you and your partner thinking dirty thoughts.

Porn can also be a great communication tool.  It can be difficult talking about sex – even with a partner you love, and porn can sometimes help ease those conversation.  Have a budding curiosity about spanking, but not sure how to bring it up to your partner?  Try turning on a porno featuring some spanking and comment on how sexy you find the action.  Talking about your interest while watching the racy visuals can help get even the most skeptical of partners hot and ready to give it a go.

On that note, dirty movies are also a really great place to get ideas on different ways to get it on.  And I’m not just talking about instructional porn, though there are so many super hot instructionals out there.  Any porn can be an awesome source of  information and ideas – from positions and styles, to dirty talk and role playing scenarios.  Open your mind and let your imagination wander as you watch the movie, or why not play along while the movies goes.  Nothing beats a little porno karaoke!

Just be sure to find something that appeals to both of you.  While that may be a tricky venture, it will ultimately lead to more communication and an evening that you both really enjoy!  There are plenty of movies that offer the perfect mix of hardcore and softcore, if that’s your poison.  And so many movies where everyone is having a super hot and fun time.  Basically – if you can think it, we probably have a dozen flicks to get you off!  And don’t forgot to keep an open mind… maybe you’ll find something you never knew you were looking for!

And now a few tips to physically bring the porno to your own personal party.

- Buy minutes on HM4Her (or a DVD, though HM4Her is way better) and send your sweetie a picture or screen cap with the caption “just wait until later…”

- Including a free minutes card inside your Valentine card.

- Let the process of choosing a movie be part of the whole sexy experiences.

- Have the movie up and ready to go so you can just hit play while you are getting your game on.

Alright, go get ‘em, Tiger!  Enjoy Valentine’s Day and bringing porn into your sex life the other 364 days of the year!

xoxo
-J.D.

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Happy New Year!  Today we are four days into January and officially jumping headfirst into 2011. Now that you’ve had a few days to think things over, it’s time to really hunker down and take resolution writing seriously.  When it comes to listing all of the good intentions we have for the year, every magazine, TV show, website, distant relative, whatever/whoever gives their picks of what they think are the best ways to “better yourself” in the upcoming year. While most of these New Year’s resolutions make sense in a “bettering” context, according to research, only a slim margin of folks successfully achieve their resolutions.  That means whole bunches of other people are left feeling like they suck.  No, ma’am, that’s not gonna fly with us!

In the spirit of sex positivity and welcoming in 2011, we’ve decided to switch things up a bit and redefine the most popular resolutions to make them a little more exciting, as well as offer up a few  tips on how to actually make them stick!  And who would we be if we didn’t make sure they focused on all things sexy and fun?!  So sit back, give a read and take it all to heart, because who has ever said they had a lousy year because of all the great sex they’ve been having? Read the rest of this entry »

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While I’ll admit I do have a place in my heart for super fruity Sex On The Beach cocktails, I can’t say I feel the same way about the actual sexy act of screwing in the sand.  In fact, I pretty much have a strong aversion to any sex where unwelcome hangers on follow the pleasure train anywhere near my vag, and unfortunately, that’s what summertime outdoor sexin’ is to me.

I know, I know, getting’ busy in the great outdoors sounds like a fabulous idea.  And yes, in theory it is an awesome idea, but in practice there are some major logistical obstacles to navigate.  It may seem like I am being a Debby Downer, but try to think of me more as a Realistic Rhonda that wants to give you all the info before you end up with bug bites the size of silver dollars all over your bare bottom.

Luckily in the last few years we at HM4Her have written up some super helpful tips for getting through the summer with as few causalities as possible.  Check out our sage advice from summers past.

The Motion of the Ocean

Sex and water are one hot duo. Not only do you get that thrill of exhibitionism if you are in a public place (though try to keep it out of kid heavy areas, oh and um… it’s kinda illegal), you get to try out all sorts of new and exciting positions while you float nearly weightlessly through the water. Not too mention easy access through bikini bottoms and pulling the trunks down a bit! Tee Hee!

There is a little snafu though. It’s not the water that’s the problem, it’s what’s IN the water that makes for a questionable situation. Water than contains chlorine, salt, or bacteria can all pose risk of infection or irritation when it’s forced into the vagina during penetration and thrusting. That basically means all pools, lakes, oceans, rivers and Jacuzzis can mean risky business for getting down and dirty… um, literally.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Happy Masturbation Month to one and all! Of course solo sex is a year-round activity, but during the lovely month of May we give an extra shout out to self lovin’ and take it upon ourselves to make sure that folks are enjoying the maximum capacity of masturbation fun. In past years, we’ve touched on the different ways that gals get themselves off, how to buy sex toys, and all the various amazing names we have for ladies loving solo style (who can forget ‘polishing the pearl’ and ‘sending muffin Morse Code’). This time around we’ve decided to get into the details of making your diddle-fest as delightful as possible!

We know that sometimes there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. A busy schedule and mind can make it easy to fall into a rut without spending any time really enjoying our bodies. Luckily, it doesn’t take a ton of time or energy to make over your rubbing one out ritual. Check out these simple ways to bring the focus back to you.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Happy Earth Day everyone!  It’s that one special day of the year when folks are called upon to really look at how they treat the environment around them and asked to make changes to help keep this beautiful planet in good health for generations to come.  And one of the sexiest ways to love the Earth is to get busy green-style!

That’s right – greening up your sex life is an awesome way to help clean up the environment- and bring a little extra dirty into your own bedroom.  Here are a few helpful tips to make your Earth Day super hot – you know, to keep those glaciers cold!

- Turn off the lights!  Yes, screwing in a well-lit room can be totally hot, but why not switch it up a bit and switch that flip!  Getting frisky in the dark can not only add an edge of mystery (where is that hand going!?!), it saves a bunch of energy.  Up the ante with a little romantic moonlight for a totally natural night in the sack. Read the rest of this entry »

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Earlier this month I ran a workshop on anal play for a local toy shop.  Since the class turned out so great and people had so many great questions, I decided to share my handout with our HM4Her readers to make sure that you guys are getting the best of the best when it comes to sex education.  There was so much info that I had to break it into two parts (check out Intro to Anal Play, Part 1)! What what in the butt, let’s get to it!

In the first section I covered all the basics of why people have anal sex, the fears surrounding anal play, the expectations involved with anal sex and all of the basic anatomy of the butt.  Now we get to talk about safety, prep, techniques and toys – all the super sexy good stuff!

Safety Basics

- Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.

- Lube, Lube Lube, Lube, Lube! When it comes to butts, you can never use enough lube! Your ass does not self lubricate (like a vagina) so lube is super, extra important. For anal sex, thicker lubes are great. Your best bet is either silicone or water-based lube (as oil-based lubes can weaken condoms, if you are using them), but remember that you cannot use silicone lube with silicone toys. Also remember to add more lube frequently. If you think you’re using too much lube, add some more. Read the rest of this entry »

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