According to TMZ, supposedly there is a sex tape floating around featuring Leighton Meester (Blair on Gossip Girl) with her boyfriend at the time. Or maybe they’re still together? I don’t know, the tape is a few years old, and really, I don’t care. There’s no denying Leighton is very cute (especially compared to some past sex tapes we’ve seen), but she doesn’t seem like the usual desperado “leaking” their tape, so I truly wish her the best with it. But you know what’s really on my mind? Now, I’m not only going to openly admit to being Gossip Girl’s #1 fan (which may be debatable by my good friend who is in equal nerd-dom as I am), but I am also unashamedly asking: Where the HELL is my sex tape of Ed Westwick??
Seriously now, the world needs some hot celeb guy sex tapes! We’ve gone over this before! Screw the girls, screw Chace Crawford and his prettyboy face… I want to see Ed Westwick. He is cruel and evil and oh so debonair (as Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl… ok, so maybe not the same as in real life, but whatever… I’m fantasizing here.); I will even volunteer to be the lady in question! Am I asking too much? I think not.
I mean, we look super cute together, no?
See? Case closed. Mr. Westwick, feel free to contact me at your leisure (aka this weekend).
I think I listen to more old music than new music, so I’m calling today’s Mixtape Rewind the Vinyl Edition, and it’s dedicated to hot and lazy summer nights - listening to old records with some cocktails, warm breezes and fantasies of being in a tropical place and having a tawdry affair. Or at least, that’s what I do…
My song of choice is Buddy Knox’s “Hula Love”. How cute is he? Ok, so I’m pretty sure that’s a fake palm tree behind him, but close your eyes and you’re swept away to Hawaii…
But this pared down map of the New York City subway system totally caught my eye as dirty.
I know, I know, maybe I’m just a total pervert and everything is smutty to me, but FrzKey and Venus Vegas agreed and Venus even whipped up her own NYC subway/lady bits rendering to show us exactly what she saw.
Or maybe this is just the side effect of total porno immersion for 40 hours a week. Either way, that’s our take.
Ok, from the stories and the pics the Dinah seems super awesome, but I’m missing myself some naked man around here :) I’ve also realized I haven’t really posted in a really long time… I mean, my inbox is constantly slammed with “Venus, where have you been? We miss you soooo much!” emails, but time really does fly…
I actually have been busy and not just sitting on my ass (although I am very busy while I sit on my ass), and since everyone else was too busy to do a “Top 5 Tuesday” this week, I’m secretly infiltrating with my own guerrilla “Top 5 THURSday” featuring some of our more recently added straight movies with lots and lots of penis (only cute guys and hot stuff too… penis by itself is cool and all, but let’s be honest, shall we?).
So without further ado, and before anyone stops me, my testosterone-filled Top 5 Thursday picks!
The Stepmother - Sinful Seductions: Finally Nica Noelle’s long awaited foray into straight porn has arrived! No surprise that it’s amazing, just with sexy guys! I saw a great review on another site about this movie complimenting it’s real sex and orgasms so, if you happen to see something, um, not so eloquant on our video site, feel free to add your comments!
Lusty Luxuries: I always enjoy Playgirl movies because they keep a woman’s pleasure in mind… I did pass on the first scene though, and was much more impressed as the movie played on. I’m a big fan of kissing, so how could I pass a boxcover like this?
Anna Span’s Diary Series #12 - Do The Business: I picked this movie because A) Anna Span makes some really great movies, and B) the boxcover says “Earnest, 1950’s stocking-clad housewives seek gentlemen”. That is like my fantasy self… Also it says there’s time travel involved. Score!
Penny Flame’s Expert Guide To Rough Sex: I’m feeling a little randy today so I’m throwing it in here. The rougher stuff usually falls into my “don’t usually like to watch but in real life is good” category, but Vivid Ed is pretty quality so I would check this out. Plus Penny Flame is always fun.
Honey Bunny: “Thumping sex and candy colored worlds implode with the innocence of desire”… um, I don’t think there’s much innocence here but a visually surreal and erotic romp it is… as someone who overly appreciates style and excessive use of colors, I approve.
There you have it, enjoy my pretties! I’ve had my porn for the day and now I’m off in search of gluten-free pizza….
You may have been living under a rock yesterday, so hopefully the Porn Librarian was the first to tell you (ok, probably the millionth) some exciting news - there just may be a Josh Hartnett sex tape.
Since I am a foremost authority on details, I’ll recap the important stuff - Josh Hartnett, public sex in library, caught on surveillance. Oh, and Red Light District released a press release offering $500,000 for the video.
I am not one to let sleeping dogs lie (or let secret Josh Hartnett sex tapes remain secret), so I am publishing 3 public letters to the entities that I feel can help make my wish a reality.
Letter #1:
Dear Power Greater Than Me,
Thank you for coming close to finally answering my prayers that for once a celebrity sex tape may possibly exist that features someone I actually find attractive. Many seem to be staged leaks featuring people I’m not necessarily interested in watching clothed, let alone doing the dirty; but I think this just may be my moment.
Josh Hartnett may not be my first choice, but he’s in the long list for sure. I will continue to cross my fingers in hopes that one day I will be witness to this promising tape and that it will not be a fantastic disappointment.
Yours always (at least sometimes),
Venus Vegas
Letter #2:
Dear Red Light District,
I have just read that you are offering money for this tape! While I know many of your past celebrity tape acquisitions have been a financial boon, I must admit they left me feeling much to be desired. I lust over many celebrities, yet you keep seeming to find the ones that are on my “no” list.
Now, I think we can all agree Zach and A. C. Slater were the real hotties here. Zach not so much any more, but Slater has only gotten better (good bye Z. Cavaricci’s!). Mr. Red Light District, I know you take what you can get, but did you not see the show? Only poor geeky Violet took Screech, and while we all know beneath those big glasses and ill-fitting dresses she was a true gem, I highly doubt she’d stand for a fake dirty sanchez.
Remember Lisa Turtle’s voice of repellent in every episode? I rest my case.
So, to hear that you are trying to get Josh Hartnett’s sex tape is music to my ears and sends tingles to my hoo-ha! Please, please, be nice to him and allow my hungry eyes witness to his raw sex. In a library. Please.
My Faith Is With You,
Venus Vegas
Letter #3:
My Dearest Josh Hartnett,
I’d like to begin by saying that the vision of you keeps me warm on cold nights. For every porn movie I watch that does not star a few certain key males (Tommy Pistol, Manuel Ferrara, or Kurt Lockwood), I envision your face on the mulleted/poorly bleached/bald-headed man.
I am deeply saddened to hear that your most intimate privacy may have been invaded! In a public library no less! However, as with everything that appears bad on the surface, something good can always be brought out of it. This good I speak of, is fulfilling so many female (and male!) fantasies without having to do any more effort on your part. Imagine it! What you thought was a mere night of bliss which would end as soon as you exited into the streets could now turn into financial gains and happy women the world over! You want people to be happy, don’t you, Josh?
Please don’t think that I’m pressuring you. I’m merely trying to open your mind to magnificent mass sexual satisfaction that you could give to women without risking severe mortal exhaustion from physical attempts at this feat. I’m only thinking of your best interest.
I think you know the right decision in this situation (do it.), so I will I close with an earnest plea from a dear friend:
“I emplore you to do this good and noble deed for women everywhere.”
Hoping and praying to see your penis on-screen soon,
Venus Vegas
PS - Should you feel more effort IS necessary, I will gladly make good use of you. I have included a pic to illustrate our potential happiness together.
Woohoo! We’re breaking into the 21st century and adding tags to our blog posts, so you can browse and read specific topics or random things! We’re adding them now, so please be patient until we get them all done…. we’ve written a hell of a lot!
So I just got back from Vegas last week where Joanna Angel performed her song “Rock & Roll In My Butthole”, which she wrote for her new movie “Rock & Roll In My Butthole”. Sadly, being the hard, dedicated worker that I am, I fucking missed it! God bless the internets, because apparently she posted this earlier in the month and it totally passed my radar.
Either way, the song is instant classic, stuck in my head, and now forces me to think of butt sex over and over. Seriously, it’s a really cute duet she wrote and performs with princessFrank (from L.A. band Masterslave) that is actually really catchy.
What more could you want to know! The wonderful woman behind O4Her.com asked me some very good questions, from I how got started in the industry to the what’s and why’s of porn for women. It was fun, and I hope you enjoy!
