I don’t mean to ruin this week for everyone, but you should know that your day will not be brightened by my informative and hilarious blog postings this week. That’s right, I’m on vacation! The real porn librarian is sitting on the ocean while you read this “new” post thanks to the miracles of modern technology.
Since I love my job, my life is basically a vacation. However, there are a few things I look forward to forgetting about for a week.
Here’s a list of things I am avoiding on vacation:
1. Any video produced in Germany. Sorry Germany, you’re too hardcore for me.
2. My cell phone.
3. Reading for work. Joyce Carol Oates, it’s on!
4. New sex toys. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that boxes of sex toys appear on my doorstep frequently is pretty awesome, but I don’t intend on making any notes for future reviews during sex.
5. Changing diapers. I’m a super awesome Aunt, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
On the other hand, I’m all about the following things:
1. Beer with lunch!
2. Seafood.
3. Mornings in bed.
4. Kissing. For hours.
I’m sure you all miss me already. Of course, by “you all”, I mean “J.D.”
Mother’s Day is this Sunday, although I’m sure you don’t need a reminder. Ducky DooLittle wrote a brilliant piece over on her blog about moms, sex, and how Barnes and Noble blows.
One of my favorite things about becoming an adult is getting to know my parents as people. Ducky does a great job of reminding us how great moms also happen to be spectacular women!
Being a mother does not define them. It is one cherished element of many factors that make them full, complete, beautiful individuals.
Well, i thought that the people who are out there challenging books, instead of raising their children, would have felt so ridiculous in retrospect that they would leave And Tango Makes Three alone. Turns out I’m wrong again, because it was just announced that the children’s book about two male penguins and their family was the most challenged book again last year. Seriously folks, they’re penguins. I mean, I know their relationship is putting a strain on my immoral coupling, but I assume your magical marriage can withstand the pressure of homosexual penguins.
I’ve mentioned a couple of times that I’m in the middle of “researching” a big piece on different types of lube. I’m about half way through the giant box of lube I received from VibeReview.com, but I have to tell you about one pleasant surprise I received last night.
First, I should say, that I’m not a big fan of flavored lube for a couple of reasons. The first is that I’m scared of yeast infections. I know not all flavored lubes have sugar in them, but I tend to think of flavor lube as being a novelty product sold by companies who don’t care about the health of my lady parts. The second reason is that I’m a big fan of pussy. I love the way it tastes and don’t understand why you’d rather lap up strawberry flavored chemicals.
Anyways, in the name of science, I broke out the Fizz soda flavored lube 12 pack last night although i wasn’t really looking forward to it. Do you see how much i sacrifice for you, my friends? Anyways, the 12 pack is basically 12 individual packets of lube. There are six different flavors, so you get 2 of each to try.
After tearing open the packet I randomly grabbed “lickin’ lemon lime” and let me tell you how surprised i was when i put a dab on my finger for a taste test. This stuff actually tastes good! I mean, not as good as my girlfriend, but I think this is the first flavored lube that hasn’t totally grossed me out or left a bad aftertaste in my mouth. I haven’t tried any of the other flavors, but will give you an update in my upcoming extensive lube report.
Oh, and as far as performance as a lube, this water-based lube isn’t too bad. It’s not the best lube in the world, but it does the job, isn’t messy and didn’t leave any stains. For a couple who are looking to have fun with something a little different, I’d say go for it!
As J.D. mentioned in an earlier post, May is Masturbation Month!
Wooohoooo!!!!
If you’re a West Coast gal, you should seriously consider checking out The Center for Sex & Culture’s 7th annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco (of course!) While the idea lends itself to a number of easy jokes, this is a pretty rad event that raises money for a worth non-profit and promotes a healthy sexuality for everyone.
Although most men and women today are aware that masturbation isn’t a “degrading act,” many are still constrained by the notion that it’s a selfish, immature activity or a second-rate substitute for partner sex. We live in a society in which sexual expression has always been legislated and restricted and the pursuit of pure pleasure is frequently condemned as selfish and childish. A lot of people who consider themselves free of sexual hang-ups have simply rewritten the equation “sex is only good if it involves procreation” to “sex is only good if it involves two loving people.” The fact that masturbation is a pleasurable end in itself gets short shrift in mainstream sex manuals, which focus on masturbation as a useful tool in the building of a better sex life with one’s partner. The Masturbate-a-thon is dedicated to honoring masturbation as an excellent way to have sex while also raising money for non-profits.
For those of you who can’t justify a masturbation vacation to California, don’t worry. You can participate from the comfort of your own home. Plus you don’t have to worry about jet lag or traveling with a suitcase full of sex toys. Get your friends to sponsor you for every orgasm and tune into the life video feed of the event for inspiration!
Raising money for a good cause and setting aside a day for self-pleasure – seems like a noble cause to this girl. And, if you need one more reason to “find yourself” on May 25th, Nina Hartley is co-hosting this event. Could life get any better?
It’s Friday and that means it’s time to take a 3 minute break with the Mixtape Rewind!
I love the Ditty Bops. Here’s why:
1. The did a bike tour last summer. That’s right, they hit the road on bicycles from LA to NYC playing along the way.
2. They incorporate props & skits into their live show.
3. They sing cute songs about loving girls and the earth.
4. They’re not so bad on the eyes.
Anyways, this is total chick, spring music and well worth a listen. Enjoy!
Most people with jobs probably have a never-ending to do list, and people who watch naked people fornicating for a living are no exception. After watching my girlfriend laugh her way through mine this morning before she left for her far more respectable job, I thought I would share some of the more amusing snippets of mine, with explanations when appropriate.
I read a ton of erotica but for some reason haven’t picked up a lot of erotica memoirs for whatever reason. After reading Suzanne Portnoy’s second book, The Not So Invisible Woman, I’m definitely going to make an effort to read more.
There’s plenty of hot sex packed into this biography, but the greatest thing in my opinion is what you’ll learn as you join Portnoy on her personal sexual journey. She’s detailed as she tells you of sucking off a horse-hung stripper before he performs, but what really holds your attention is her honest account of this and other sexual adventures.
