Because there can never be enough variety in ladies personal play things, I bring you – Dildo’s of the Future…
An article published recently in the super awesome blog The Sexist focused on a slew or relatively recent patents for new types of dildos, or should I say fucking machines? Even the lowest tech of these new inventions either inspires screams of “ow, no that doesn’t GO there,” or curious cries of “how the hell is that supposed to work,” from me at least.
As Jezebel points out, only one of these toys was designed by a woman (rocking chair plus dildo) while one of the scariest (the double anchor strapless dildo) was created by a male/female pair, though really the guy takes most of the credit. I guess I still have to say good luck with those patents guys, and girl – except for female sperm guy – that’s just odd.
So I was wandering around the internet the other day, following every raunchy lead I could find to plumb the deeper depths of sexuality and after stumbling across a bad joke about the Italian Chandelier position burning nearly 1000 calories a session – I stumbled upon a sexual treasure trove of awesome!
SexInfo 101 boasts over 100 animated 3D gifs of sexual positions, including descriptions if the visual imagery isn’t enough and even grouped in “families” so, if you have a favorite staple you can find variations to add variety. You know I’m a sucker for picking up interesting ideas from work and I just think I’ve found my activity booklet for a year or so, depending on how fast I can find an activity partner with some stamina!
After reading this handy dandy little article on the Frisky, I decided it was time for a little HM4H public service announcement: Please don’t stick hammerheads up your butt.
Actually, there are a lot of items you shouldn’t be sticking where the sun doesn’t shine (in spite of the popularity of the expression.) Cups and broom handles are pretty popular on the Rectal Foreign Bodies list, but bottles are the most common foreign body removed – from the body. So please remember, be safe and chose a quality toy designed to not get stuck up there, like the Ophoria Rapture or a nice Rook E Glass Crystal Butt Plug (a toy with a flared base.) Even with a toy designed for anal play always remember to be safe, consensual and careful.
So I came across an interesting article on the Frisky the other day about the number of times a year Americans have sex, on average. The answer will surprise you, it certainly surprised me. 84 times a year people in this country only average 84 tumbles in the hay a whole year! Including all the singles, the people in sucky sexual relationships, virgins and asexuals potentially surveyed this seems like a horrendously low number to me.
Given opportunity and enough willing partners with enough skill, I’d love to have sex around 250 times in a year. Maybe it’s all that porny goodness making me extra randy but to me sex has that better than chocolates quality of extra goodness – you get the same kind of rush but none of the calories or cavities (at least not in your teeth) that means I rarely waste my time feeling guilty for indulging.
Now in nearly the same breath I came across AskMen.com’s annual “Great Male Survey” (yes, I do read men’s magazines they are hilarious) and was surprised to find that not only did the majority of men say that getting some more than once a week was normal but that less than once a month was the close second place. That just gets me thinking about the female statistics. How often do women think is normal for a healthy sex life?
I know one thing, with the ideal partner I’d definitely want more than 84 times in a year!
So I was glancing over my usual hard news blog when I came across an new and interesting “Orgasm A Day” British health campaign. Say what? Well apparently there’s a movement in Britain to get students to masturbate to fulfillment regularly:
A National Health Service leaflet is advising school pupils that they have a “right” to an enjoyable sex life and that regular intercourse can be good for their cardiovascular health… Alongside the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”, it says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?” (via the Huffington Post)
This of course got some family groups upset because they’re concerned it’s only going to encourage underage sex. Personally I think the family groups are looking at this all wrong - change a few words and suddenly this is a great way for students to feel comfortable with their first sex toys! Sex toys are generally safer than sex and, especially for females, a more certain route to orgasm than sexual intercourse with inexperienced, over-eager and inattentive young men. Of course that does present another problem – once young ladies get hooked on the joys of their favorite toys, how do you get them to give them up and play with the boys? There has to be a downside to too much mechanical lovin’ out there somewhere…
Oh yeah, we could be headed toward planetary annihilation at the hands of aliens – at least according to the Space Pope.
So Wednesday, the very tech savvy blog Gizmodo posed a very sexy question of its rather geeky readers: “what is the best technology to use when you film yourself having sex?” Possible answers on the poll included webcams, digital video cameras, spy cams and those handy dandy cell phone cameras.
As of right this second, digital is winning out as the best way to make your own sexy videos. Personally I’d say to stay away from digital media at all costs unless you’re planning on starting a career with your tape, having an actual physical copy that can be held in one persons hands and easily destroyed if one of the bodies on it so desires. In this day and age something like an actual VHS tape also ensure no nasty little slip ups, like accidentally splicing it into your holiday office video. Of course if you are thinking of going pro – then take a few tips from a master.
But I’m with the Frisky when they mentioned that the comments are more interesting than the answers themselves. For a rather geeky audience they went to the dark side of crotch grabbing humor pretty quickly, with quite a few commentators hinting that only one member of these scenes needs to be aware of the taping going on. Just remember aspiring film makers, there’s nothing sexier than consent.
So it’s probably safe to say I love getting wrapped up in a good story. It’s pretty obvious that I adore a great porno too – and at this point HM4H readers are well aware that I think a good story and a good porno can, and should, go hand in hand. Unfortunately, in this short attention spanned age of debauchery, I sometimes I think I might be alone in that desire.
Sometimes it’s great to be wrong. At least one industry veteran misses having more to say than ‘oh-oh-yes’ in her scenes. Savanna Samson recently told the New York Times how much she missed doing features with more plot: “I couldn’t wait to get my next script… I used to have dialogue… Getting it on in one hardcore scene after another just isn’t as much fun.”
Not terribly fun to watch either. Oh a great sex scene is still a hot scene and usually can stand on its own as being absolutely awesome, but if that’s all there is to the film, I’m probably not going to come back later. An attitude amongst consumers that probably prompted Vivid Premium‘s co-chairman, Steven Hirsch, to say that: “on the Internet, the average attention span is three to five minutes… We have to cater to that.” – NYTimes Read the rest of this entry »
Ok, so I was going to write a follow up post on Erika Moen’s absolutely awesome “Intro to Vibrator Shopping.” The second comic in this particular arc is every bit as amazing as the first, especially with that oh-so-important information dispelling the myth that one’s ‘delicate’ lady bits will become desensitized with all that motorized play.
Then I saw a certain interesting post on the Frisky. Apparently the Guinness Book of World Records recently proclaimed a 42 year old Russian mother, by the name of Tatiata Kozhevnikova, as the woman having the strongest vagina in the world – for the second year running! Thanks to some mighty dedicated Kegel exercises over the course of 15 years, Tatiata can lift about 31lbs with her lady bits. Kozhevnikova even has some advice for other femmes who want stronger musculature where it counts:
“It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week, you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed.” – The Frisky
That’s what I’m talking about! Just imagine the possibilities, do a few minutes of exercise along with a few minutes of sexy you time and blamo – you’ve managed to satisfy, sensitize and fortify all at the same time. I think I’ve found healthy living heaven!
An Australia based study was released recently that probed into the deepest mysteries of male pleasure. The study put 10,000 men to a “pleasure quotient test.” And the Frisky tells us that eating came out as the most pleasurable of activities! Followed by personal accomplishments and relaxation – sex was the fourth thing on the list.
Seriously, this explains so very much, like why my ex-boyfriends keep coming back – for dinner. So basically the way to a male heart really is through his stomach. Now if only I could figure out a way to combine sex with food, personal accomplishment and relaxation I’d be unstoppable – Mwhahaha!
Till then, sexy food time with girl on top cowgirl action will just have to do. Check out “Wet and Messy Big Boobs” for some smooshy, gooshy, foody fun and have a great weekend!
Well it’s no great secret that I love anime and hentai but I’m also a big fan of comics, manga and cartoons. Because of budget considerations, mainly me not having any money, I tend to gravitate to the wonderful world of webcomics which are usually free! There’s a wide variety of styles and subject matter to sample from and when I came across this helpful little gem I just had to share.
It’s from “Dar! A Super Girly Top Secret Comic Diary” by Erika Moen. This particular webcomic is full of thoughtful gems like, Erika’s evolving discussion of sexual identity, as well as being full of her great sense of humor. When Erika came up with her “Introduction to Vibrator Shopping,” I just knew it would strike a helpful cord with HM4H readers! This particular tip works best if you can find a really awesome toy shop that actually lets you turn the toys on for a test drive – which sadly few of them actually seem to do – just remember to wash your face well afterwards to prevent break outs.
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