I might be a bit of a stuttering Stanley when it comes to public speaking but get me in front of a hot broad open to receiving some dirty-flavoured talk and my mouth will carve out smutty sentences that would make a sailor blush (and get a boner).
In my opinion, there is an underwhelming appreciation for dirty talk and strength it can have during sex. People seem to think dirty talk is synonymous with phone sex and then you can’t help but get images of those terribly crass phone sex ads in the back of magazines. Or that scene in American Pie.
I don’t know about you but jackhammer away at me for hours but penetrate my ears with some sex of the aural variety and I’ll be a quivering hot mess in 5 minutes flat.
I’ve had a lot of people tell me their problem is that they just don’t know where to start. They say they feel stupid and awkward because they don’t know what to say. Talking smutty is an art that comes more naturally to some but it can be learned!
Let me present to you… AMIE’S 101 TO GETTING YOUR GIRL SCOUT BADGE IN AURAL SEX.
Tip 1 – Knowing Who You’re Talking To
Unless you’ve shacked up with a complete stranger, the reality is that you’re bound to have a slight idea of what turns your target on. Use these as your clues for what direction to take your dirty talk. What gets them hard? What makes them wet? Are they submissive? Are they into threesomes? Clowns? Once you’ve figured that out, you’re ready for tip 2.
Tip 2 – Knowing What to Say
It’s all well and good knowing knowing what your partner is into but if you can’t translate that into panty-melting lyrical material, then it’s points. So where do you begin? Most porn will have you believe that men in porn usually only say, “You like that? You like my big hard cock in that tight little pussy?” and that all women respond with, “Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Fuck my tight little pussy!”. YAWN. Put a little creativity into it and don’t rely on the poor scripting of bad porn! Pull your partner in close and whisper to them what you thought about when you last jerked off. Or vocalise a possible sexy scenario of a fantasy they’ve told you about while you’re in the shower together.
Tip 3 – Ask Questions!
If you’re unsure what you’re saying is hitting the b-spot (the brain), throw in a few casual questions for your own reassurance. “Does that turn you on?”, “How would you feel if…?”, etc. Having your partner affirm that you’re on the right track will give you more confidence to continue. Plus, sometimes it’s a great way to get clues from your partner as to where to talk the story next. They might surprise you by telling you about a fantasy you didn’t know they had.
Tip 4 – Simultaneous Stimulation
No matter how much of a Cassanova you are with your mouth, the likelihood of your partner getting off from your dirty talk alone is pretty slim (although it has once happened to me). Incorporate dirty talk in with sex and you’ve got a winning combination. Build up to the climax of the story at the same time as you build your partner up to an orgasm. Plus, playing with your partner while talking will give you visual cues of how they are responding to your dirty talk. Use your hands and body to listen for every clench, gasp, grasp and moan. If you’re telling a story and you’ve got a cold, dead fish lying next to you, maybe try another approach!
Tip 5 – It’s Called Talking Dirty for a Reason
Don’t be scared to use dirty words for your dirty talk. Cunt. Pussy. Arse. Cock. Fuck. Slam. Fist. Wet. “I want to push my fist deep inside your cunt and have you cum in my mouth”. You know what to do!
For a pretty sweet dirty talking vid, check out Jackie Strano’s “Talk to Me Baby: A Lover’s Guide to Dirty Talk & Role Play”.