For our friends April Flores and Carlos Batts, we ask that everyone remotely close to Hollywood this evening stop by the Antebellum Gallery from 6-9pm to show your love and share in memories. All details are below.

In loving memory of Carlos and a lifetime of cherishing,

HMFH Staff

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Remembering Carlos:
A Fundraiser for April Flores

Carlos Batts, filmmaker, photographer, artist, passed away suddenly, unexpectedly, way too young at age 40 on October 22. His wife and muse April Flores has been hit with costly bills and the Los Angeles arts community is rallying to raise money to defray these charges.A fundraiser and silent art auction will take place at Antebellum Gallery on Friday, November 15 from 6 – 9 PM.

Works of art will be on display and ready to be picked up by winning bidders that night. Some of the biggest names in contemporary art including Coop, Matthew Bone and Shepard Fairey have donated works. Photographers including Gregory Bojorquez, Patrick Hoelck, Eric Kroll and Estevan Oriol will have work in the silent auction. Adult Entertainment icons Buck Angel and Nina Hartley will also have artwork available for bid. A partial list of participating artists follows and more are expected:

Antebellum GAllery
1643 N. Las Palmas | Hollywood, CA 90028

Friday, November 15, 2013
6 – 9 PM

Ramzi Abed • Buck Angel • Axis • Matthew Bone • Greg Bojorquez • Tommi Cahill • Jim Caron • Rick Castro • Collin Christian • Sas Christian • Chas Ray Crider • Coop • Bob Coulter • Michael Delahaut • Steve Diet Goedde • Shepard Fairey • Ed Fox • Roger Gastman • Nina Hartley • Chris Haston • Adam Henry • Patrick Hoelck • Kimberly Kane • Erika Keck • Juri Koll • Eric Kroll • Victor Lightworship • Patrick McGilligan • Dennis McGrath • Dave Naz • Beatrice Newman • Estevan Oriol • Pancho Lipschitz • Tera Patrick • George Pitts Eric Minh Swenson • Rae Threat • Tonymench • Robert Vargas • Antonio Vigil • Octavio Winkytiki

The auction will also include work by Carlos Batts himself, donated by his widow. Photography and 3-D sculpture
were media that Carlos had exhibited in galleries and a selection of recent work will be available in the silent
auction.One hundred percent of the proceeds of this event will go to April Flores for the purpose of defraying the costs
associated with the unexpected death of her husband.

A paypal account for donation purposes is available: CarlosBattsMemorialFund@gmail.com

For more information call the Antelbellum Gallery at (323) 856-0667.

21 & over | No outside beverages allowed

My dream is to be part of a flash mob. I mean it’s both a literal dream and “as the saying goes” real-life desire. All I ever want is to break out spontaneously in a choreographed act with multiple people, garnering attention the crowd over and becoming a part of something that brings about surprise, smiles, and memories. It’s a bit cheesy but it’s MY dream, dammit, and I’m really, really hoping to accomplish this in 2014.

So with this future path for myself not quite planned out, I do know who I can turn to for guidance and inspiration, the troupe of Improv Everywhere. According to their mission statement, “Improv Everywhere is a New York City-based prank collective that causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places. Created in August of 2001 by Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere has executed over 100 missions involving tens of thousands of undercover agents.” HEROES!

They’re currently creating a series, titled Movies In Real Life, where they reenact iconic moments in renowned films, down to the dress, locale, and expressions. They all look just as fun acted out as the idea sounds, and as far as iconic movie moments go, I mean come on, hello, When Harry Met Sally, amiright?

They did it.

Filmed in Katz’s Delicatessen in NYC, 20 women “performed” orgasm vocals while the lookers-on — including staff — uploaded Vines and Instagrams and Facebook tags on their iPhones. There were many smiles and laughter, which further boosts my dream of making people happy through choreographed spontaneity. Oh, to have the chance…

Anyway, watch this! And be sure to read the commentary from Improv Everywhere founder Charlie Todd here to dig into the background story.

And though I work as a porn commentator, of sorts, it is true that there are things that even I can’t handle. That really make me want to vom. Granted, these only occur about 21% of the time and I was warned that if I took this job there would “be things that cannot be unseen”. I can live with it, but it’s true when they say “to each fetish their own”.

1. Rectal Prolapse

So the scene above is from Evil Angel’s Anal Casting Calls #2, and it’s a pretty minor relapse. In fact, I tried to look for a good image on google (don’t click that if you are sensitive) and now my stomach hurts. Though this fetish can definitely sell, I just canNOT. It seems painful, it’s a bit too red, and it’s your friggin’ anus.

2. Peekaboo Snatch

I could just write “vaginas” here because I don’t really like the look of them in general, but pfft, I can settle with this. They just look puffy and weird. And “snatch”y. You all know how much I LOVE boobs, and I do have the sexual orientation of loving ween, but I can’t get down with the cooter show. I’m pretty alone on this one, since most of my Tumblr (warning: my last post was of a kitten hanging on a blankie) feed features these (including the above), but hey it’s an honest list, so either agree or click on the pictures to find more.

3. Exit Butt, Enter Mouth

It’s about to happen in the above scene. Boom boom in the butt butt, then suck suck in the other chick’s mouth. Ugghhhhhh. I get it. You enema it out…and stuff. But seriously? Poop on the peen excites you? Gross, man.

4. Stilettos Up The Vag

Okay so I don’t see this all the time, but when I do, I need band aids based on free association thinking. Formally known as heel insertion porn, I imagine many ER visits come after these experiments. Hello?! Tender things are down there and all up in those bits! Even if you ignore the fact that you’re constantly stepping in micro-shit on the sidewalks and then pushing that up into your body, you are going to rip something open. Ouuucchhhhh m’goodness.

5. The Hairy Cooter

This interest is MASSIVELY split, and I’m totally fine with whatever you’re into. You dig it, then make your own damn list. Our theatre features so many hairy-themed movies that you certainly have your pick, including this new release Hair Down There 2, which features some of my favorite girls, Riley Reid, Jessie Andrews, and Dani Daniels. However, I freaking find the trend hideous, like that scene in Waiting where Naomi (Alana Ubach) shows her bush to combat the penis showing game and Ryan Reynolds goes “oh! it’s so angry!”

Kickstarter is a gold mine, in so many different elements to so many different people. It could be a cause-related variation of digging through a record store; filtered by region, staff picks, tags, or time, you can find your perfect project to fund and even get into the action with rewards for how much you choose to donate. Last year alone, $319,786,629 was pledged toward campaigns by 2,241,475 people, and allowing 18,109 projects to be successfully funded for production.

I took an extensive look into their current database, and amidst other awesome things I wanted to dedicate my paycheck to, found eight sexy projects that have individual characteristics for landing on this list. And so I’ll just rank them in order of fundability.

Baba Invisible Panties

by Nadezhda Shestakova

These tissues with strapless bra straps that you wedge up your cooter aren’t really skyrocketing in funding, but I mean, look at them. I love improvements made for reduction of panty-line visibility, but come on. What is this, Depends for Tron? First of all, NOWHERE in the write-up does it say what it is made from. Not the pad-looking clump nor the straps. Secondly, they advertise it as great to wear during those period days:( and really easy to use with pads. I remember using a pad once when I was 13. And it didn’t stop upon the entrance to my butthole, those suckers are long. I won’t help this one.

BONDAGE

by Pinky Swear Productions

“Deep in the bowels of an S&M parlor, a dominatrix and her client are getting ready to play out their regular game. Concealing their faces and ethnicities, the two enact elaborate fantasies, using racial stereotypes and sexual mythologies to fulfill each others’ wishes. But when one of them goes off script, the line between role-play and reality begins to shift, as do the identities and desires of the two people behind the masks.” So there’s a LOT going on here, but it could be interesting. Would like to see where this goes.

Sugar Los Angeles Year One

by Sugar Los Angeles

Music is just about the biggest fundraiser on Kickstarter, but have a looksie and you’ll find mucho mucho art and photography. As the project director says, “Sugar Los Angeles was started in January of 2013 as a way for me to follow my passion for photography and people. The idea behind it was simple, I wanted to shoot un-retouched photographs of the people I knew and present them in a way that was beautiful, real, funny, dark, mysterious, and different, all while allowing them to be themselves in the process.” Sounds like an artist! Still, these pictures really are the quality of the most seamless Tumblr erotic posts, and drastically gorgeous. This campaign would be higher up on the list, but I hated the rewards section. I could just be neurotic or this person could need an ego check.

Blackbird Underpinnings – The MAVEN Collection

by Marin Camille and Julia Zolinsky

This is a company that wants to make lingerie modeled after the flapper era. The twenties and the thirties, that’s their inspiration. THEY HAVE FRICKIN CRUSHED VELVET KNICKERS. And that’s why I want you all to support this, so I can buy them. Other than that, this is pretty straightforward. Loose bras, silky chemises and an adorable romper.

TapTap, a touch communication wristband

by Woodenshark

Okay so this sucker’s explanation on the page is kind of convoluted, and I’m going to try and keep it as simple as I possibly can. They are wristbands, right? And you and your partner each have one. When you touch it, like above, the other one vibrates, so your partner knows you’re thinking of him/her. Simple enough. But then it gets crazy. It can be synced up to your iPhone and this other app thing they made called Shadow (that records your dreams) where you can actually see the fingerprint of your partner when they go to “touch you”. And it supports gestures like clapping/waving/high-fiving and you can use it with your video games as a game controller or set it as an alarm and it’s open to 3rd party apps and it supports IFTTT (If This Than That) applications like turning on your lights with a flick of your wrist or sending an SMS to your partner by shaking your hand and my head just exploded. I suggest reading their page and trying to decipher it, because it’s garnered a TON of attention in the media and TapTap is currently about halfway to it’s $130k goal.

Transgender Violence Tracking Portal

by Allison Woolbert

This would have totally taken the number one spot for fundability if it had been better planned out. This is definitely the highest need, because as the developer says, “Information is power. In order to act, we have to be aware.” My issue with it, and hopefully they will be able to build this out, is that a website could simply be a Facebook awareness page. Back when I lived in Chicago, we had a neighborhood watch group that was seriously useful, and highly active. It built a hyper-aware community and we brought crime down because of it. Instead of a website, why not an app? Why not use the money to build out an app that works with the website or a Facebook group? It’s such a good idea and would be highly useful in awareness and prevention, it should just be planned thoroughly. Also, this isn’t really “sexy”, but it’s protecting our sexual rights, which is pretty sexy to me.

AMPERE – Better Bras, Better lingerie experience

by Ampere

These gals have already been funded, and are making even more money than they needed, and that’s what caught my eye. Then I realized you get to TRY ON MULTIPLE SIZES AT HOME TO FIND YOUR PERFECT FIT. And I have weird boobs, man. They’re like, big, but not that big, and I can’t find the best strapless bra and I hate going to fittings, so this rocks. And, like above, they’ve perfected the thong pantyline problem because they’ve added this thin half-skirt thing that kind of takes away the point of the thong but oh well. They have 28 unique sizes so that you really get to formulate a pinpointed size. And their designs are gorgeous. I wanna try!

FOREVER PILLOW: One pillow, endless possibilities.

by huzi

This company knows success. They easily developed a burrow-friendly and mega-cozy Forever Blanket, and it brought in the bucks. So this is baby brother! Some of the pictures of demonstration are laughable or even awkwardly embarrassing, but as they say — the possibilities are endless! This screams sex prop! Wrap up your body parts and start bumping! Will fund!

Googled “Guy Fawks Porn”, was not disappointed.

Guy Fawkes, or Guido Fawkes, was a converted Catholic who tried desperately to see the Gunpowder Plot through in 17th century England. Though the plan to blow up The House of Parliament was never actually carried through, and Fawkes was caught in the basement of the day it was to happen (and killed because of it), every year on this day Brits celebrate the “safety of the king”. They do this by burning a giant effigy of Fawkes, and many wonder if they are actually celebrating the stick-it-to-the-government attempts from long ago.

The likeness of Guy Fawkes was brought to the mainstream big screen through the movie V for Vendetta in 2005 and I think it’s awesome as hell. Watch it tonight, actually. Anyway, though the storyline was quite different (to be expected, as the movie was based on the comics) and took place in a totalitarian society, the morals carried on the Fawkes Ideal.

In honor of today and people rebelling against their government (death is a bit harsh, though) to be able to believe in whatever religion (or non-religion) they want to, here are nakie pictures of people in Guy Fawkes masks.

What are the naughty ones doing for the scariest time of the year?

Thanks to social media, we can bippity-boppity check it out.

Boo.

 
I love the first one the most, because it’s super sensual. Like catching TinkerBell in her most vulnerable, erotic moment. Hot and beautifully done.

My little TinkerBell pussy 🙂 #Pussyshot #Halloween #teenporn #Tinkerbell #SamanthaRone #Green #Wings pic.twitter.com/tIrPO4bJfh

— Samantha Rone (@SamanthaRone) October 27, 2013

My Halloween costume FINALLY came in the mail today, Can’t wait to wear it!!!! pic.twitter.com/7E5XxO28il

— The Saint (@StevenStCroix1) October 29, 2013

I’m gonna eat you!! @peterwarren pic.twitter.com/Zc0BNAlRWo — adriana chechik (@adrianachechik) October 28, 2013

One more day until #Halloween#HalloweenSpirit pic.twitter.com/VRPjwkobdX — JessicaJaymes (@jessicajaymes) October 30, 2013

What is everyone being for Halloween? I’m going to be a slut dressed in white. Original huh?

— Bonnie Rotten® (@thebonnierotten) October 25, 2012

My attempt at pumpkin carving… Lol pic.twitter.com/bBfofrtpgp

— Capri Cavanni (@CapriCavanni) October 30, 2013

This weekend we have @TashaReign hosting #Halloween on 11/2 & @MsTeagan @AbsoluteTeagan hosting on 11/7. We are so excited! #Vegas

— Sapphire Las Vegas (@SapphireLV) October 30, 2013

Getting in the Spooky spirt! Picture from my favorite Halloween set with the sexy @AaliyahLove69 pic.twitter.com/LltSuy6mIr

— Ashley Fires (@AshleyFires) October 27, 2013

I’ve always wanted to fuck a priest! My fantasy came true for Halloween! (NSFW) http://t.co/oGIwuY2Rx4

— ♛ Nikki Benz ♛ (@NikkiBenz) October 30, 2013

Thinking about going as a 16 year old boy for Halloween. #NoCostumeNecessary pic.twitter.com/5n32c7kR6v

— Lily LaBeau (@LilyLaBeau) October 26, 2013

I’m going as a chronic masterbator for Halloween.

— Cody Sky (@codyskyxxx) October 27, 2013

Halloween treats #homemade pic.twitter.com/JRbiB0BC0S

— Maddy O’Reilly (@MaddyOreillyxxx) October 28, 2013

Batgirl pic.twitter.com/R4rAFhPxyL

Uh… https://t.co/Di5zfFzEmN

— Skin (@Skin_Diamond) October 31, 2013

— Lexi Belle (@OMGitsLexi) October 27, 2013

Ohh my word, @MissLarkinLove. #Elvira. #HappyHalloween early!! log in to http://t.co/ckCTSSIj6Y for the entire set! http://t.co/hLQG3W1yV9

— BurningAngel.com (@BurningAngel) October 30, 2013

Join @britney_amber @nikkidanielsxxx @gaialovescock & @tegan_riley at the heaven & hell Halloween bash pic.twitter.com/rvEebLSPrH

— ATMLA (@ATMLA) October 22, 2013

Hot halloween scene with @CameronDeex for @Brazzers pic.twitter.com/fVZMp9C024

— Van Wylde (@VanWyldexxx) October 30, 2013

#HALLOWEENCONTEST #ROTTENCOSTUMES send pix of your costumes! I’m going to SELECT A TOP 3! Out of the top 3 retweet your favorite one!!

— Bonnie Rotten® (@thebonnierotten) October 31, 2013