So, the foxy ladies over at the Jez just put up this hilarious posting called “5 Mistakes That “Sexperts” Make When Giving Advice.” Sure, it’s all about mocking some Fox News advice lady, but still it made me feel the need to just let you guys know that I promise never to be that person who makes those mistakes. I’ll make my own mistakes, I’m sure - I always do, but I don’t ever plan on giving such ass-backwards opinions. Ok, rant over. And now I leave for the day.
Often, us straight girls have a list of women we’d go lesbian for. Kim Kardashian is always my top choice. She’s fucking hot as hell. Her sex tape with Ray-J isn’t anything to write home about, but her body is amazing (and on that note - so is Ray-J’s). Naturally, I’m also a huge fan of the E! show Keeping Up With the Kardashians which is what this movie is based around. For those of you who don’t know, the show follows the whole Kardashian family through their lives and it’s just ridiculous. I’ve come to terms that I don’t think anyone in the family has actually done anything of merit (save for Bruce Jenner) and therefore I shouldn’t be wasting my time but I still love Kim’s ass.
Anyway, this is about Getting Up With the Kardashians which, much like the show, was pretty hot. The female cast even resembled the Kardashian girls - slightly. The scenes were spoofs of things that happened on the show - the mom hired a too-sexy babysitter, the mom tried to come between her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend, Kim hired a trainer to get in shape. However, unlike the show, the scenes turned into hot sex and turned me on.
The final scene is a girl-girl threeway between Kim and her friends Eva Angelina and Nikki Benz. Considering there’s truth to every joke (and spoof), maybe there’s hope for girls like me after all.
I think it’s just about time I buy stock in Fun Factory. Or at least get a shirt that says “Foxy Fun Factory Lady” or something…
Anyways, my latest adventure with this fine company’s products involves the Curve; a toy that has basically revolutionized the dildo for me. When it comes to solo play, I’m a vibration girl. Due to the rigorous demands of my job, I end up test driving a lot of non-vibrating toys, but when it comes down to it, I prefer something that buzzes. Now, the Curve comes along and I have to reconsider everything I’ve ever known about myself.
I’m also lucky enough to own the Delight, which is basically the vibrating version of this toy and I LOVE IT! The only thing some people might not like is its diminutive size. It basically fits in the palm of my hand, and while you’ll hear no complaints from me, others have mentioned this in reviews. The Curve is the perfect solution for these nay-sayers. You get all of the amazing g-spot stim with a little extra girth in one aesthetically pleasing package. I’ve never seen anything that looks like this toy, although I’m guessing some people will attempt to imitate it’s awesomeness.
If you’re looking for a great g-spot toy, this one is pretty fantastic. It’s made of medical-grade silicone, surprisingly pliable and perfect for solo or partnered play. Plus it’s hot pink, which reminds me of when I wasn’t a yuppie and had hair that would have matched it perfectly.
Just a warning, this is a toy that you have to go slow with the first couple of uses. I think that because of its unusual shape and sizeable head, I had to stop and think before going to town. Don’t be deterred though, just remember to think it through before thrusting!
Yeah, it’s Monday - a day which can usually suck it - and it’s pouring rain where I am, and everyone in the office is in a grumpy-ass mood, so I decided to lighten the hell up and post some stuff to make the day a little brighter.
- This Boinkology post made my day for real. I LOVE that this guy ends his photo caption with “And now I’ve got my own little fuck-you-gender/sex-binary body.” xoxo Elliot! and ps. even with the black bar over your face, you are still super cute!
- Velvetpark interviews my favorite cartoonist ever, Ariel Schrag. Oh yeah, and she wrote for the L-word… weird, but kinda cool. aaaand ps. an interview with ME will be up on Velvetpark in the next few days. Crazy, huh? Their super cute editor Anna interviewed me at The Dinah and she just let me know it’s going up soon. I iz essited!
Ok, it’s offically quiting time for today. Enjoy the rest of your Monday and see you ladies in the AM.
We were so excited while redesigning our HotMoviesForHer site that in honor of our new site launch, we’re beginning our new “Pornquiry of the Month”! We ask some of our favorites in the industry the same question, and we got some interesting answers. Enjoy!
What is your favorite thing about porn?
I guess - the massive amount of butt sex. It’s like, you look at porn…and it’s like, man everyone is having anal sex…there might be more anal sex going on in the valley on camera then there is in the rest of the world combined. It’s kind of amazing. People in real life just don’t have nearly as much anal as they do in porn. It’s like, I remember I had a boyfriend when I was in college and we had anal sex like, twice, and that was a big deal…and now working in the industry, it’s like…everywhere. I think it’s pretty awesome. Joanna Angel
performer/director, BurningAngel.com Watch Joanna now!
My favorite thing about porn is getting to see people really connect…sensually, sexually, and emotionally. And that doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be in love. An emotional response can be elicited in the briefest of shared encounters, and can make two people feel deeply connected, whether they do end up falling in love or it remains in their memory as a sweet, hot ‘affairette’. I’m really happy when I succeed in shooting a scene with people who convey that sense of connection. It’s not easy to pull off or to find in porn movies! Candida Royalle
pioneering director of women’s adult films Watch Candida’s movies now!
The voyeur in me enjoys watching and capturing the art of sex in motion. Dana Dane
creator/producer, Erocktavision Watch Erocktavision now!
I love being able to teach the world that sex and gender are not just black and white, and it is fantastic to be able to show people that safe sex can be HOT sex! Buck Angel
star, 2007 AVN Award Winner for Transsexual Performer of the Year Watch Buck now!
We here at HMFH love our silicone! If you take a look at our toys reviews and even some of the past sex tips, we always seem to be praising silicone toys. Yes, it’s the best sex toy material ever, but we never really say why that is. So I’m taking this opportunity to let y’all know why we love this magic material with a list of the top five reasons why silicone rocks our worlds! Read the rest of this entry »
Holy crap is this girl adorable! This is the kind of girl I thought I would meet in library school. She’s geeky hot and I think a little Canadian. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed her interview almost as much as the masturbation scene that follows. I was pleasantly surprised to see some tattoos and piercings once she stripped out of her cardigan to reveal her beautiful alabaster skin and shaved pussy. Zille is a girl that is completely comfortable in her sexuality and puts on quite the performance and she rubs her clit frantically. The camera covers her from head to toe as she works towards orgasm and there’s nothing hotter than watching a woman’s face as she nears climax. If you like your girls a little nerdy, you’re going to love getting off with Zille. -The Porn Librarian
As you know, I am big on words. A word nerd you could even say. So I was super excited when I read Jamye Waxman’s blog entry about Time Out New York’s “The Horny Issue” with the article “How About a Quickie?” Basically the magazine asked all their local dirty birdy erotica and sex writers to come up with something to turn them on in ten words or less. Ooooh a challenge! (Plus, it reminds me of OneSentence.org, one of my absolute favorite websites.)
Here are some of my favorites from the Quickie article:
“Is there a reason your hands aren’t in my pants?”
—Molly St. Michael, erotic poet (mollystmichael.blogspot.com)
“Stick. Slide. Suck. Swallow. Rinse. Repeat.”
—Jamye Waxman, author of Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation (jamyewaxman.com)
“Your tongue in my crease/Soft fingers pinching my thighs/Insert now, I plead.”
—Twanna Hines, blogger and self-described “sexpot” (funkybrownchick.com)
Now I’m trying to come up with my own ten word turn ons. Here are some from around the office:
- “Her gracefully sweeping neck, the perspired dew on her bud.”
- “I bite my inner cheek, wishing it was your nipples”
- “smell of your neck.
designer scent mixed with sweat
intoxicating”
- “I’m desiring an erotic, breathtaking, pulse racing electric orgasm.”
- “The pain came when he pushed deep into my ass.”
- “Her pulsing womanhood was felt warmly on my tongue.”
- “Licking your inner thighs… best part of my day.”
- “Begging for you to go even deeper.”
-” Tell me to ask nicely. Or else…”
-”Slow and deep. After you ask real nice.”
- “Dirty thoughts swirl in my head, I have a secret, I will whisper in your ear.”
- “the laundry can wait”
- “then her panties slid to the floor”
Hot! Hmm. Who ever thought dirty texting would eventually help my work? Another hard day at the office.
It’s FRIDAAAAAAAAY! TGIF, for real. Well, I’m a little irritable this week and the slightest thing is setting me off so I am seriously looking forward to the weekend. (To be fair to myself, it’s not the slightest thing but it is ridiculous nonetheless.) Anyway, my mixtape rewind is a little throwback to the early ’90s that always puts me in a good mood when I’m angry - “King of Wishful Thinking.” Thank you, Go West, for the gift that keeps on giving - even when your career hasn’t.
