When you work in the adult industry, it’s easy to get a little bored with the boxes of toys that show up in the mail. I mean, I love sex toys, but how many vibrating bullets does one girl need? Because of this, I always get really excited when I get to try out a unique toy.
When I received Lovemoiselle’s Noemie I couldn’t wait to test it out. This gorgeous dildo is my first ceramic toy and another one that looks more like art than a fuck stick. While performance is key, it doesn’t hurt when you get to play with something that is aesthetically pleasing as well.
Since I didn’t know much about ceramic in regards to sex toys, I did a little research. While apparently not all ceramic is non-porous, I’m happy to report that Lovemoiselle’s toys are. They are also compatible with all lubricants and super easy to clean. You can wash it with soap and water or sterilize with a ten percent bleach solution.
Any of you who ever made an ashtray in art class are probably wondering about how tough a ceramic dildo can possibly be. While I’m not about to drop mine of off my roof, let me just say that this one feels totally solid. The company addresses fragility on their site:
“We use a special manufacturing process to make the Lovemoiselle range exceptionally durable, strong and safe to use. In fact, if you care for your Lovemoiselle toy properly, it will last for a lifetime making it the most very environmentally friendly range too.”
When it comes to getting down and dirty, I was quite pleased with my latest toy. The material reminds me a lot of glass – it’s super slick and is great for temperature play. In my opinion, it doesn’t hold temperature quite as well as glass, but it’s definitely worth cooling down on a hot summer day!
The Noemie’s curved body feels really great and is also handy when things get a bit slippery. It’s about eight inches long and has a reasonable diameter at 1.5 inches. Pretty standard in my opinion, but the material, smoothness and sexy curves make this one stand out. Also, you should know that it is hollow, so it’s not super heavy like you may imagine.
The final thing worth mentioning is the packaging for this toy. It comes in a great black box that can be used for storage and will definitely protect your Noemie if you choose to travel with it. If you’re looking to save space, you’ll also find a nice black pouch included that will keep it clean and prevent your dildo from rolling off of the nightstand.
Overall, I really like this fancy pants dildo. If you’re looking for a good looking and unique toy that won’t break the bank, you should definitely head over to edenfantasys.com and take a look at the Noemie.
Ps. Sorry for using the phrase “fuck stick.” Go ahead and review 30 toys and see how hard it is to come up with new ways to say the same thing.
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Even though the media loves to tell me that women don’t watch or enjoy XXX, I feel 100 percent confident saying that lots of us do. Hell, I’ve even banked my retirement on the fact that ladies love porno! Of course, some ladies enjoy a good softcore movie, including me every once in a while, so I thought I’d highlight the best softcore films our site has to offer. If you’re looking for something a little more sensual to curl up on the couch and enjoy with a friend or your favorite vibe, be sure to check out these hot flicks.
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To Whom It May Concern,
If you are more interested in being a politician than a porn star, please don’t tape yourself having sex. Doesn’t matter if it’s your wife, a girlfriend, your boyfriend or an intern. No one wants to see it and I’m pretty sure it does little for your political aspirations.
Also, if you’re made a career out of making sure perverts like me aren’t afforded the same rights as the rest of American’s in order to protect your precious marriage, stop fucking around on your wives. They deserve better.
Finally, Uggs and skinny jeans for dudes are out.
Sincerely,
The Porn Librarian
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Written by:
FrzKey on June 30th, 2009
I’m going to tell you a secret – I’m a big Christian Slater fan. Seriously, really big, I’ve seen all of his movies. When I say all, I do mean all, not just the really good ones from the 80′s I’ve also seen his more recent less appealing works. So when I stumbled across the porno “Peters,” which is supposedly a gay parody of the Christian Slater teen angst classic, “Heathers,” I knew what I’d be reviewing this Tuesday.
“Peters” isn’t so much a parody as it’s a bunch of quotes punctuated by lots of fucking. And I do mean lots of fucking – it’s almost an hour into this movie before any kind of actual plot surfaces and people keep their clothes on for whole scenes at a time. That lasts for about fifteen minutes, apparently enough time for several scene changes, before we jump back to a couple jocks in the pool. All in all the movie comes off as even more serious than Slater’s previous classic.
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Nothing sucks more than going to work during the summer. We’re trained our whole lives to be lazy once the weather turns, but then you finish school and you’re stuck inside while the best days of the year waste away. It’s total crap.
Of course, there are a few things one can do to make the work day fly by. One option would be working. I always have more than I can possibly do and time flies by… A second suggestion would be to sneak off to a dark corner and get XXX with a friend or yourself. I mean, if Dwight Schrute can get off at work, anyone can!
In an effort to get you through the day, we’ve teamed up with EdenFantasy.com for a new fun new contest. I’m sure you’re wondering what’s up for grabs, so I won’t delay any further.
We’re giving away Lelo’s Mia to one lucky reader. The Mia is a discreet vibe that could easily pass as a tube of lipstick in the bottom of your bag. This travel sized toy is rechargeable, multi-speed and phthalate-free. If you’re a tech junkie you’re going to love it, because unlike most rechargeable vibes, there’s no cord and charger to keep track of - this baby charges through a computer USB port. How rad is that?
Now for the important stuff – the rules. For those of you who are really craving this toy, you can earn up to three raffle tickets for our random drawing.
1. Comment on this blog. You can tell us your favorite office fantasy, a true life tale of desktop debauchery or let us know how you think the Mia could help you through your day.
2. Retweet the following message:
RT @HotMovies4Her is giving away a Mia thanks to @EdenFantasys check it out http://tinyurl.com/lwt8o4
3. Follow @HotMovies4Her and @EdenFantasys on Twitter and send hm4her an @ or dm message letting me know!
The winner will be determined by a random drawing next Monday, July 6th at noon. You must be 18 and a resident of the continental U.S. or Canada to win. Sorry, but rules are rules.
p.s. The ladies of HotMoviesForHer.com are in no way responsible for the consequences of your office trysts. Thankfully, we’re not responsible for much.
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Written by:
J.D. on June 29th, 2009
I’ll start with review off with an admission. Sometimes it’s difficult to watch these TV show porn spoofs. It’s not that they aren’t good, funny and hot… it’s just that some of them totally taint the shows that I spent my younger years loving. Like Bewitched. I watched Bewitched religiously when I was growing up. It was my favorite show on Nick At Nite and I must have seen every rerun of the series. That said – it was a lot harder to watch this spoof than one of a show that I had little interest in (like the Brady Bunch). I tried my best to shake all my warm memories of Samantha and Darren and get into the action that is most definitely Not Bewitched XXX.
Darren always told Samantha (played by Jenna Haze) that bad things would happen if she messed with magic in the house and boy was he right! It’s little Tabitha’s first birthday and while babysitting her, batty old Aunt Clara (the not so old Eva Angelina) casts a spell to turn Tabitha into an eighteen year old (Teagan)! Not only does Clara forget the counter spell, but now they all have a horny young woman on their hands! How will Sam and Darren get their daughter back to normal? And how will they host her birthday party, especially with Darren’s boss coming to the house. Thankfully with lots of hot XXX action and deep dicking, everything eventually turns out for the best. Phew. Oh, and Nina Hartley plays a very awesome – and very realistic to the show – Endora, Samantha’s blunt mother. Unfortunately we never get her naked, but still, I’m always glad to see the fabulous Miss Hartley.
Porn spoofs are kind of ridiculous. The sex is seriously stuck in wherever it lands, whether or not it has anything to do with anything. Sasha Grey turns up as a model for Darren’s ad agency and proceeds to fuck on his desk when Darren is away. Ron Jeremy pops up as Dr. Bombay, who comes to celebrate the birthday, yet returns to a desert orgy after the cake is cut. I might never understand what that had to do with, but hey, a room full of beautiful women fucking and sucking each other is nothing to turn your nose at.
Overall, I think I’d give this movie 3 out of 5 stars. It’s witty, true-enough to the sitcom and pretty hilarious at times, as well as pretty freaking hot to watch. I’m taking one star off for total randomness in regards to sex and one star off for the horrible pair of white platform boots that seem to have made it onto half the girls’ feet in the movie. Hey, I have standards.
-J.D. Bauchery
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Written by:
FrzKey on June 26th, 2009
An Australia based study was released recently that probed into the deepest mysteries of male pleasure. The study put 10,000 men to a “pleasure quotient test.” And the Frisky tells us that eating came out as the most pleasurable of activities! Followed by personal accomplishments and relaxation – sex was the fourth thing on the list.
Seriously, this explains so very much, like why my ex-boyfriends keep coming back – for dinner. So basically the way to a male heart really is through his stomach. Now if only I could figure out a way to combine sex with food, personal accomplishment and relaxation I’d be unstoppable – Mwhahaha!
Till then, sexy food time with girl on top cowgirl action will just have to do. Check out “Wet and Messy Big Boobs” for some smooshy, gooshy, foody fun and have a great weekend!
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Written by:
J.D. on June 26th, 2009
Written by:
FrzKey on June 26th, 2009
This time I was craving a movie I could get lost in, and so I picked up the rather long “Cry Wolf.” With over a 2 hour run time, and more AVN nominations and awards than I can shake a stick at, I figured I’d be in for one hell of an engrossing movie.
Five minutes into the film and I can already tell I’m in for a major treat. The word that comes to mind first is, tasteful, really actually tasteful. I’ll admit that within the first few minutes the male lead has his tongue buried in Monique Alexander’s crotch, but the set, costuming and even the dialogue doesn’t scream wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. One gets the feeling that you’re watching a particularly raunchy mainstream thriller, complete with sultry seductive femme fatale. That’s high praise coming from me since the lead, Monique Alexander, is the typical porn blond, but with natural breasts and the ability to recite her lines with conviction – so ok, maybe she’s not so typical after all.
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