There are a number of porn movies that fall into the grey area between art and sex. Some even merge the two to the point that you can’t even really tell what you are watching. Sure people are fucking, but what’s with Santa Claus carrying the inflatable donkey? This movie is not one of them. This is the Art of Sex, an actual examination of the artistry behind passionate sex. This movie looks into the sensuality that sex can create and takes the phrase “making love” literally.
But don’t think this is some boring, soft focus flick. Nope. There is hot triple X action, with plenty of naked bodies, moaning and fast paced fucking. As well as kissing, passion and real orgasms. Whether the performers are real couples or not, there is definitely real chemistry between each pair.
While I really like what this movie has to offer and the attention it pays to making sure each person is enjoying themselves, I didn’t see any one scene that really stood out to me as a favorite. All five were equally pretty good, but none were amazing. For me, I need to really be in the right mood when I watch a sensual video, and right now I wasn’t feelin’ it – though at another time I might have felt differently. I will say that one big turn off for me was that there was no music. While I love actually hearing the sounds of sex while I watch porn, I really prefer a little something in the background to keep it interesting.
If you are looking for a sensual adventure and a porn to perk your passion, this is the one to watch!
-J.D. Bauchery
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I’ll start with review off with an admission. Sometimes it’s difficult to watch these TV show porn spoofs. It’s not that they aren’t good, funny and hot… it’s just that some of them totally taint the shows that I spent my younger years loving. Like Bewitched. I watched Bewitched religiously when I was growing up. It was my favorite show on Nick At Nite and I must have seen every rerun of the series. That said – it was a lot harder to watch this spoof than one of a show that I had little interest in (like the Brady Bunch). I tried my best to shake all my warm memories of Samantha and Darren and get into the action that is most definitely Not Bewitched XXX.
Darren always told Samantha (played by Jenna Haze) that bad things would happen if she messed with magic in the house and boy was he right! It’s little Tabitha’s first birthday and while babysitting her, batty old Aunt Clara (the not so old Eva Angelina) casts a spell to turn Tabitha into an eighteen year old (Teagan)! Not only does Clara forget the counter spell, but now they all have a horny young woman on their hands! How will Sam and Darren get their daughter back to normal? And how will they host her birthday party, especially with Darren’s boss coming to the house. Thankfully with lots of hot XXX action and deep dicking, everything eventually turns out for the best. Phew. Oh, and Nina Hartley plays a very awesome - and very realistic to the show - Endora, Samantha’s blunt mother. Unfortunately we never get her naked, but still, I’m always glad to see the fabulous Miss Hartley.
Porn spoofs are kind of ridiculous. The sex is seriously stuck in wherever it lands, whether or not it has anything to do with anything. Sasha Grey turns up as a model for Darren’s ad agency and proceeds to fuck on his desk when Darren is away. Ron Jeremy pops up as Dr. Bombay, who comes to celebrate the birthday, yet returns to a desert orgy after the cake is cut. I might never understand what that had to do with, but hey, a room full of beautiful women fucking and sucking each other is nothing to turn your nose at.
Overall, I think I’d give this movie 3 out of 5 stars. It’s witty, true-enough to the sitcom and pretty hilarious at times, as well as pretty freaking hot to watch. I’m taking one star off for total randomness in regards to sex and one star off for the horrible pair of white platform boots that seem to have made it onto half the girls’ feet in the movie. Hey, I have standards.
-J.D. Bauchery
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This time I was craving a movie I could get lost in, and so I picked up the rather long “Cry Wolf.” With over a 2 hour run time, and more AVN nominations and awards than I can shake a stick at, I figured I’d be in for one hell of an engrossing movie.
Five minutes into the film and I can already tell I’m in for a major treat. The word that comes to mind first is, tasteful, really actually tasteful. I’ll admit that within the first few minutes the male lead has his tongue buried in Monique Alexander’s crotch, but the set, costuming and even the dialogue doesn’t scream wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. One gets the feeling that you’re watching a particularly raunchy mainstream thriller, complete with sultry seductive femme fatale. That’s high praise coming from me since the lead, Monique Alexander, is the typical porn blond, but with natural breasts and the ability to recite her lines with conviction - so ok, maybe she’s not so typical after all.
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While I usually wouldn’t give a movie called “Bang That Bitch 4” a second look, Belladonna caught my eye on the cover and I’m pretty sure that if there’s one girl in this world who wants to get “banged like a bitch,” it’s her. Anyways, I decided I would watch the one scene with her in it and, if it was worthy, review it. Since you’re reading this, you should be able to deduce what I think.
First, Belladonna is totally young in this scene. I mean, I’m sure she’s a lot younger than I am, but I’m guessing it’s a pretty old scene by her tan lines, clunky shoes and pubic hair. Checking out a girl’s pubes is like carbon dating…
Anyways, Nick Manning is the lucky dude who gets to bang Belladonna and there’s a reason why he’s been getting his dick wet for money for like 100 years. He’s great in this scene, but doesn’t try to steal the scene from one of my favorite porn stars.
Manning starts by eating Belladonna out before finger banging her and, of course, it’s awesome. She’s absolutely adorable and sexy and everything I always expect her to be. Soon enough, she shows off her oral skills, deep-throating Manning’s sizeable member over and over again. It’s pretty amazing how she makes things I’m usually not into totally hot. The bj scene is pretty long, but she’s having so much fun that you can’t help but enjoy it.
Once they’re both good and ready, she climbs on top of Manning and rides him reverse cowboy style for freaking ever. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a tamer Belladonna scene and I am reminded why I fell in love with this dirty bird years ago. It’s pretty hot, but once they switch it up and he’s absolutely drilling her from behind I was thanking the porno higher power for Bang that Bitch 4…
Since it is Nick Manning, you know this scene is ending with him dropping loads and our greedy girl gobbling it up.
Regarding the rest of the movie, I have nothing to say. I don’t know who’s in it and don’t really care all that much. I’m just thrilled to have stumbled upon this great scene.
-The Porn Librarian
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Sometimes a girl just needs a little romance, which totally explains why I’m reviewing “White Wedding” today. It’s funny when these cravings crop up for me, since I’m the kind of hardcore film noir fan that rarely has time for comedies (if they aren’t black) and never blinks twice at your average romance. Of course, porn romances aren’t average - they’re better!
“White Wedding” revolves around the heroine, Chasey, as she takes trip after trip down the aisle in a quest for true lasting love. Not being your typical promiscuous porn heroine, Chasey makes sure to marry her various paramours. Unfortunately, the first one she marries isn’t terribly faithful and after Chasey catches him with his hands down another woman’s shirt, for the third time, the relationship quickly sours. Honestly after seeing the way he looked at Chasey when she stepped up to the altar, I’m not surprised that the relationship didn’t pan out, she might as well have been wearing a dress made out of filet minion. Poor Chasey, every single one of her relationships seems to hit a snag after about six months.
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Time for another Hentai packed Friday review! I do love these toons, especially when it’s the magical girl type of hentai. So this time I pulled “Sex Warrior Pudding” out of the pile for a lookyloo.
Featuring the antics of several magical type starlets that work at the A La Mode diner and their manager Shuta, this movie gets off to a great start with the strategic use of a not-quite tentacle villain praying on young girls in a dark alleyway when all of a sudden the damsel is rescued by Sex Warrior Pudding and her magical friends, Jelly and Panna Cotta. After that things go a bit downhill. In this one instance I’d say the plot actually gets in the way more often than not, as they start really laying down the foundations during the first blowjob/tit fuck of the movie and I found myself terribly torn between watching the action and reading the subtitles.
Actually the whole movie seems to focus more on the plot which just happens to have sex in it. Or is it a lot of sex with a humorous plot thrown in - with this movie it was honestly hard to tell. Magical girl storylines usually verge on the ridiculous anyway, even in the mainstream; with random villains bent on destroying the earth in one way or another and endowed with abilities that nothing on earth can withstand besides the powers of these magical girls. On the other hand there is definitely a lot of naked action going on. But they both blend in and out with an equal level of seriousness and humor so it’s impossible to really separate the two.
In the end I stopped trying to figure out which was which in “Sex Warrior Pudding” and just enjoyed the ride. Both light hearted and sexy, “Sex Warrior Pudding” is an extra special hentai treat. I’m not sure if anyone can get off on this one, but it was definitely fun to watch anyway.
-FrzKey
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There is no one I would trust more with my ass than Tristan Taormino. You don’t get the title of anal sex queen for nothing and Tristan more than lives up to her moniker with this instructional butt sex for boys movie – not to mention her entire line of anal awareness flicks.
My favorite part about Tristan Taormino’s instructional movies is the way she educates without ever making you feel like you are learning something. What I mean is that she never makes it boring or tedious, even when she’s pointing out a prostate on the anatomy chart. Educating like that a pretty difficult feat and she has mastered it with grace and ease. If I end up being half the educator that Tristan Taormino is, I will consider myself to be doing a good job.
And Ms. Taormino keeps it hot hot hot. I think I retained all the new info so well because I was watching Penny Flame fuck Devin’s asshole up and down the screen. With lots and lots of lube, of course. It really is such a shame that Penny Flame left the business, because she is an amazing performer with an energy and enthusiasm that I don’t see very often. She was definitely my favorite part of this video, after Tristan, of course.
If you are looking to for an anal adventure of your own, definitely check out this awesome movie. It covers everything from anatomy and safety to positions, toys and how to hit the prostate just right. Everything you need to make a magical night with your man and his butt. Enjoy!
-J.D. Bauchery
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From the opening moments of this film, when we’re introduced to Harry Reems and Shawn Harris, I knew this was going to be one I loved. Harris is absolutely stunning and the opening scene is a softcore outdoor romp that makes you actually want to know what this movie is about! How often does that happen in a porno?
Unfortunately, we quickly find out that it was all a dream and from that point on I was hooked. It turns out that Susan (Harris) is a psych patient and Reems is her doctor. Of course, since this is a porno, his treatments aren’t always conventional…
This is one that you’ll actually want to watch from start to finish, so I don’t want to ruin any of the plot twists. I’m sure you’re interested in the sexy bits, so I’ll just say that Harris is fantastic and there’s a reason why Harry Reems is only second to John Holmes when considering male leads from this time period. The sex scenes are pretty softcore, but work well within the plot and will definitely get your engine running.
If you love B movies and don’t mind a little XXX thrown in the mix, you’re going to love this one. It’s perfect for someone who’s looking to introduce a partner to the amazing world of porn.
-The Porn Librarian
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In the past Playgirl DVD has always offered us tasteful, exciting and wholly erotic movies, so I was looking forward to reviewing this new title from the studio. And as expected, I was not disappointed.
From the opening scene set in a painting studio to the last bonus feature, Carnal Desires showcases women’s sexuality as powerful, fun and definitely 100% charged and ready to go. I love that these vignettes are all really sexy and intimate, but definitely not boring. They are still just as hardcore as any other XXX porn, but they make sure to maintain a level of class and sensuality that many other movies lack.
I’ll admit that sometimes it’s a little cheesy for me. Scene two’s woman penning romantically poetic lyrics was over the top in my opinion, but that part only lasted a few minutes before she was swept off her feet (and onto her back) by a handsome stranger. While they can be eye roll inducing, I do actually really like the two minutes of quick story set up at the beginning of each scene. Unlike super plot-driven porn, there’s not a ton of bad dialogue to sift through and you don’t have to wait for the action to heat up - two major pluses in my book. So much so that I can even excuse the easy listening music in the background.
My favorite scene is sixth because I love Dana DeArmond. The actual premise of the scene is kind of weird and slightly creepy in an “I’m a grown man playing with cars and I ditch my wife so I can instead dream about fucking her” type of way. But still, the dream is hot and DeArmond is wonderful and sexy as usual, especially when she’s taking a curvy glass toy like a champ. It’s a fun and super hot ending to a good movie. Thanks for coming through yet again, Playgirl DVD!
-J.D. Bauchery
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So “Office Perverts” was recommended because the guys in it are supposedly smoking hot and since I’m very dedicated in my ogling of smoking hot men, I was eager to review it. The description of this film also includes lots of steamy office intrigue and passion and I am always searching for just the right mix of plot and sexy fun time in my porn purveyance, so I thought myself in for a treat.
Now here’s the kicker: giant fake breasts do absolutely nothing for me. At best they make me wonder about back problems and the difficulty in finding clothing to fit them, especially when they’re a couple of double D’s on a petite frame - I mean seriously, how does she find clothing that isn’t shapeless and baggy? Add in really bad dialogue and the first scene was pretty much a boner crusher for me.
Oh and about that plot? Plot orientated my puckered anus! The movie could have been described as ’secretaries and supervisors will drop drawers under the slightest provocation.’ There wasn’t a plot, so much as a setting - the office. I’d also give all the guys next to no bonus points for looks, but in the second scene one of them speaks with a delectable accent that automatically ratchets his hotness up a couple notches.
Still can I say “Office Perverts” was a bad porno? Nope can’t say it. There’s lots of naked bodies and nearly wall to wall sex. Just because I wasn’t feeling the male or female performers in this particular feature doesn’t mean it might not do the trick for someone else. But fairness aside ,I wouldn’t be recommending this one to my friends or pull it out of a line-up for fun sexy time with a partner. “Office Perverts” might get you off in a pinch but it’s like box wine stacked up against a finely aged Chardonnay to wine neophyte, it might get you drunk, but is that all you’re looking for?
-FrzKey
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