Category Archives: Masturbation: Female

Go Watch: Not The Wizard Of Oz XXX

Without a doubt, this movie is pretty much the most hilarious and comedic, cinematically entertaining, and downright drrrty flick we’ve ever reviewed. Topping the charts for yet another week, Will Ryder’s Not The Wizard of Oz XXX porn parody has been garnering attention like its showing its boobs at happy hour, and that shocked me into watching my first parody ever in its entirety.

It’s a musical, and all but one star got to sing their own parts. Lotta Dees voice subbed in for Maddy O’Reilly (Dorothy), and although the lip-syncing isn’t all that impressive, Lotta’s voice was perfect for carrying on the woes of the little farm girl in the opening. Sepia-toned scenes gave way to the famous colored world of Oz, and what’s stunning is how on-point Annika Albrite’s Glinda was to her predecessor, Billie Burke. The Scarecrow also matched the voice and character of Ray Bolger from long ago. In fact, all the characters put their retro-cinematic hearts into this, and they fit into the voices and animation extremely well.

Okay so the sex? Ya got it. The first scene was Auntie Em (Nina Hartley) providing a strange man in a cape with a slurp-heavy blowjob. She needed money to save the farm, and Dorothy realizes this painfully when she walks in on them. As the storm starts building, Dorothy (she is without her Toto the entire film, if you care) hides in her room for some solo swishing of her snatch. This is done in sepia which, oddly enough is somehow totally sexy. I still have yet to figure out what I was feeling watching a childhood character masturbating and moaning but I don’t hate it, that’s for sure. There’s a munchkin who gets it on with a tall guard (since no one wants to fuck the Wicked Witch in the moment), and the scarecrow shows his penis (and his bang bang style) to Sheila the Scarecrow as a parting gift to journey on with Dorothy. No, Sheila was not in the actual motion picture, so don’t think too hard. Also not in the original was a pimp, who promises to help Dorothy make some money so her farm can be saved. He fucks her, all over the Yellow Brick Road. My favorite bump-and-grind was the Wicked Witch and Tin Man romp…all that green skin with pierced nipples and metal banging and then the witch screeching for Dorothy to come in to receive the Tin Man’s load. And then a surprise… If a threesome is your thing, you’ll get one at the end, but I’ll just keep the players a secret. It’s worth it if you like toe-sucking.

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Top Ten Lines from NTWOZ

“I just celebrated my 18th birthday! Watching…my Auntie Em give a blow job…to a man in a cape…” – Dorothy

“Just my luck! Twister kills my sister and delivers a prude.” – Wicked Witch

“I could go to Carolina, to fuck some Aunt Jemima” – Scarecrow

“I believe he’s saying he needs more lube!” – Dorothy    “Well don’t we all?” – Scarecrow

“I thought she only had sex with munchkins!” – Dorothy   “No…she pretty much fucks anything that moves.” – Tin Man

“Really?!? Cuz I’d do anything to help Auntie Em save her farm so I don’t have to see her give strange men in capes blow jobs in my living room…” – Dorothy   “This Auntie Em sounds hot.” – Pimp

“What it be??! I’m gonna eat you all, that’s what it be!” – Lion

“Now, before I kill her, I’m gonna need some dick!” – Wicked Witch

“Pussy, dick, titties too, I miss home, this journey’s through.” – Dorothy

“A white pimp?! *stares pimp up and down* Be gone, stylish man! *poof*” – Wicked Witch

And then, there’s the Lion’s ending on his song, a fantastic finish:

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Get your preview and watch the whole thing here

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Sinn Sage Loves Girls – Sweetheart Video

Sinn Sage is the first person I have ever seen who fucks like I would like to think I fuck.

I have watched many a porno in my day and constantly find myself whinging that I can’t seem to find a pornstar or porn in general that represents the essence of what I love about fucking and how I like to fuck.

Until I discovered Sinn Sage.

Produced by Sweetheart Videos and directed by Nica Noelle, Sinn Sage Loves Girls is a great film and not just because it stars Sinn Sage (and her glorious ass) in every scene.

The film is broken up into 4 scenes, with footage of Sinn reflecting on each fuck spliced in between.

I really like Nica’s style of directing. In this film particularly, she manages to focus on the vibe and the general action of the fucking, more than the actual dull in-out-in-out. Thank you for not showing me extreme closeups of dildos being seesawed into orifices every 15 seconds! Thank you for showing me the reactions of the women’s faces while they’re fucking and being fucked. Thanks for showing me the little things that are actually big turn ons – the women grasping for something to grab onto while they’re being ridden like Seabiscuit, hands being held, lips being bitten in pleasure, ‘fuck me’ eye contact, deep kissing and so on. Thank you for purposefully emphasising the things that gonzo porn doesn’t give a shit about. Thanks for making a porno, Nica, that is clearly about the female gaze but doesn’t rely on Day of Our Lives music and too much fauxmance (fake romance). And also Nica, thanks for involving Sinn in the creative process and letting her fuck people she’s actually got sexual connections with.

Right. Let’s summarise the scenes.

In Scene 1, Lily LaBeau is staying with Sinn because she’s having issues with her boyfriend. Sinn is pissed about the Lily’s mess and her lack of motivation to pick up after her self. Lily says she’ll ‘clean it up tomorrow’ and goes to have a shower. Sinn grabs her strap on and follows her in for a little erotic discipline. Lily’s got the skinny, cute blonde porn-girl-next-door thing down pat, which isn’t my type (at all) but knowing that her and Sinn have a little off camera thing going on, had my eyes glued to the screen. Watching Lilly’s mascara run in the shower as Sinn chokes her and fucks her with a strap on registered a 10 on the hot-ometre The scene ends with Sinn exiting the shower and saying to a shaking, fuck-drunk, orgasmed-out Lilly, “Don’t use all the hot water”. Well played, Sinn. Well played.

Before Scene 2 starts, Sinn talks about how surprised she was at the sexual chemistry that her and Shyla Jennings had. “I’m always the one on top and the one that initiates tribbing and don’t get me wrong, I love that role. But she just kind of climbed on top of me!”. In this scene, Sinn’s just broken up with her long term girlfriend and her friend Shyla admits that she’s been ‘extremely curious’ and that her boyfriend doesn’t do it for her anymore. The premise of the scene is as cliched as it gets but as a queer woman, the scene is pretty true to real life! Shyla is very porny, if you know what I mean – from the way she looks to the way she angles her legs for fucking. Sure, there’s definitely chemistry between her and Sinn but I think the pair were a bit mismatched.

Scene 3 stars Annie Cruz alongside Sinn. Sinn talks about how she started stripping when she was 19 and that she loved the sexual chemistry she could conjure up with strangers without there being any physical touching. “If I can get them to engage, it’s exciting. It amps me up”. She talked about how once her stripper friend and her were bored so gave each other dances, which ended up in sex. It’s nice to hear her talk about how stripping made her realise how powerful being a woman is and taught her how to embrace that power. This scene pretty much follows Sinn’s memory of lapdancing a friend before it ending in sex but this time, it’s with the new girl at the club. The fact that Annie reminds Sinn of a girl she used to dance with is a nice touch.

Scene 4 was probably the weakest scene in the movie. Raylene and Sinn make a smoking duo and hearing them both talk about how bangable they find each other was hot but the scene was just too fauxmance for me. The sex is hot and passionate but I kept getting cuntblocked by the candles and soft lighting.

All in all Sinn Sage Loves Girls is a HOT ride. I am dying to see Sinn Sage fuck girls who are a bit more gay though. Sure, it’s nice seeing her fuck these pretty, small porno nymphette’s but letting her go to town a queer femme or a hard butch or a trans man or be allowed to fist someone or letting Courtney Trouble film her … oh my lord.

Watch Sinn Sages Loves Girls now!

Happy Easter Fucking!

Incase you didn’t know, Easter porn is totally a thing. Yep. To be honest though, it’s pretty much just pornstars in bunny ears, fucking like out of control rabbits. But hey, I’d rather see that than fucking that literally themed itself around celebrating the resurrection of Christ. Imagine it. Go on. Jizzus Christ. Res-erection. Hmm.

Anyway, behold! Three Easter-themed pornos to make your Easter weekend just that little bit filthier! Hop to it!

Easily my top pick for a little Easter weekend masturbation has to go to scene one of Anal Acrobats. The scene features butt magician Dana DeArmond, hardcore hottie Sasha Grey and is directed by the god of capturing circus-style anal sex on film – Jay Sin. I have been gagging to see this film ever since I saw a teaser of it in a magazine once and guess what? It’s even better than I expected. The scene begins like any good Easter porno should – with babes dressed like bunnies. Dana and Sasha hop around and dry hump each other, while sniffing each others butts. Pretty soon they start going at it like rabbits, with Dana pulling Sasha’s thong to the side and rimming her, before filling her butt up with balls that match the colour of her lingerie. In true Jay Sin style, there is a buttload of ass to mouth in this scene, including a particularly hot moment involving Dana choking on Sasha’s post-ass balls, after Sasha holds Dana’s nose closed shut. All in all, Anal Acrobats delivers a very hot, ass-centric scene. Watch Anal Acrobats here.

 

 

Easter Bunny 2 stars Lori Anderson, who looks deliciously cute and Easter-y in a thong, ruffly skirt and fluffy bunny ears. Lori gives us a ‘sweet treat’, as she calls it and undresses while playing with her pussy and talking dirty to the camera. “You getting that cock nice and hard” My 7” Tantus silicone cock is always hard for you, Lori. Our Easter bunny spreads her legs and plays ‘hide the Easter egg’ with herself, emptying the basket beside her and filling up the one between her legs. Easter Bunny 2 is definitely a quality over quantity, with the scene only running for about 8 minutes. But, if you like your bunnies of the Lori-variety, aka, cute as hell but with a mouth that could make a sailor blush, then this scene is for you! Watch Easter Bunny 2 here.

 

 

 

 

Easter Bunny Teenies 1 contains 3 scenes, only one of which is Easter themed. It features brunette cutie Michelle Lynn who clearly loves Easter as much as she loves making porno. The scene starts with her looking ridiculously cute in bunny ears and doing a little Easter egg arts and crafts construction at the kitchen table. Easter clearly gets her frisky as she removes her panties at lightning speed and begins to play with herself, teasing the camera man who makes it no secret that he wants to play with her. It was pretty hot watching Michelle play with herself and make the camera man fetch her Hitachi for her, without letting him join in. Easter Bunny Teenies 1 is cute, cheeky and very amateur but it’s a great ride. Watch Easter Bunny Teenies 1 here.

I’ve run out of time, but honourable mentions of other Easter pornos go to Human Easter Basket and Platinum Bunny Contest!

Enjoy!

Girlfriends Caught Masturbating

Women getting themselves off with little pomp and circumstance – now that’s what I call a fabulous week opener.  I haven’t spent too much time with , but when I ran across this video of beautiful, natural girls jerking off and clearly enjoying themselves, I knew I had to stop and take a peek.

Starting with scene one I was already totally engrossed.  I love that this lady masturbates by rubbing up against her purse, grinding her clit into it.  We don’t get humping and grinding much in masturbation porn, so it’s a real treat to come across (pun intended!).  Sure, it’s not all that “camera friendly” since we can’t see her vag, but the honesty and realness of it makes me so happy.  And she mentions that she carries the bag around all day, so I bet it’s an awesome memory when she goes to take something out of it and gets a whiff of pussy.  It’s really the gift that keeps on giving.

Scene two really does it for me too, with this sweet hippie chick fucking herself with what I thought was a dildo, but ends up was a candle (hmmm… not sure about that safety – it looks sharp!).  She also uses a stuffed dolly, grinding it against her clit and basically riding its little fabric face.  I know that sounds so dirty, but really, it was just exciting to see more humping porn.  The fact that it was a little fabric doll is neither here nor there for me (though the doll is adorably weird looking and lovely).  Hippie girl also squirts and tells us all about how it feels once she comes – which is kind of fantastic.  And she calls her pussy a yoni – amazing!

Alright, so scene three is really awesome as well.  This woman starts out sitting on one of those big exercise balls and soon she is grinding against the ball, using it was a tool to get herself off.  She grinds into it for a while before getting naked and using the ball to lay back on so she can rub her pussy with her fingers.  She rolls off a few times, but generally gets it done, while balancing on the exercise ball.  Pretty fucking impressive if you ask me! Also, it really is incredibly cute when she topples off a little…

There are eight scenes all together – all of which are great and offer up lots of real orgasms, but I have to say that the first three scenes really did it for me and they are ones I plan to watch again!

Watch “” Now!

Cleo’s Sunny Afternoon

The moment I opened the site this morning, I took one look at  and said “I want to go to there.”  Oh yeah, I quoted television to talk about porno.  For real though, it was the first movie I saw when I opened the site this morning and I really did stop in my tracks.  Who is this Cleo and why have I never seen her before?  Fresh faced, bespectacled, curvy, tattooed and deliciously hairy – just what the smut peddler ordered to heat us up on this cold, wintery morning!  Thank you !

Seriously, I really can’t get over how incredibly hot this lady is and how exciting it is to watch her get herself off.  Set in what looks like her sweet, eclectic living room (I would bet money that she lives in Portland, Oregon*), Cleo strips down to her pretty pink bra and panties within a minute and stretches out on her little antique couch.  After taking off her socks (thank god), Cleo caresses her body to get into the mood, all the while chatting with the camerawoman about random stuff.  Finally she takes her panties off…

As soon as she pulls her bottoms down a bit, we are treated to a surprise thicket of beautiful, dark pubic hair – a nice full bush of it.  Since it has become such a trend for porn performers to wax their pubic hair, seeing someone with an amazing bush they are proud of is one of my favorite things ever.  Along with her pubes, Cleo has lovely tufts of thick hair under each arm.  Can you tell I am a fan of body hair?

It’s not long before Cleo has her hands on her pussy, playing with her extra fluffy hair (she just showered) and rubbing her sensitive clit.  I love watching the way she touches herself, using her middle and ring fingers to grind into her body.  She groans and wriggles around for a while as she works herself into a subdued, yet super sexy, orgasm, finishing the ten minute movie with a few sheepish giggles and a warm smile.  Oh man, I totally forgot how much I love a sunny afternoon!

Watch “” Now!

*Edit – We actually looked the studio up and they are based in Oakland, California.  Oh well, I was kind of right.  Six of one, half-dozen of another, eh?

 

Smoking Masturbaters 1

Let’s be real, smoking cigarettes is a totally gross habit.  You know it, I know it, and every smoker ever knows it.  While that is true, it also stands to reason that there seems to be some sexy allure to watching someone take a drag off a cigarette and blow the smoke out.  Whether it’s the cool factor that’s ingrained from our high school years, or the fact that it reminds us of cock sucking or some other oral fixation, it’s just a fact that it gets some of us off.

Surprisingly, this is the very first smoking movie I have ever reviewed here on the blog (though, honestly, I haven’t reviewed porn too many other places) in the five years that I’ve been writing here.  Crazy, right?  But hey, ladies like all kinds of things, so who am I to say that we shouldn’t take the time to feature some of the lesser known fetishes.  So today here is  (sic).  I do have to note that masturbators is spelled wrong in the title, which makes my writing side go a little haywire.  Ok, back to the sex.

Maybe I’ve just watched too many movies in my life, but I always thought that people lit up a cigarette AFTER they got off, not during.  Possibly the order doesn’t matter when it comes to masturbating?  Although I would imagine it hard to manage if you want to use both your hands?  Anyway…

I have a total boner for scene three, where a cheeky British brunette talks dirty about smoking and wanting us to touch her horny body.  Yes please!  She incorporates her inhales into her moans, making the whole thing seamless as she fucks herself with her free hand.  I love that she doesn’t even take her panties off.  Soon she pulls a pretty purple dildo out and rubs it all over the outside of her pussy before ramming it in hard and fast, over and over again.  It’s actually pretty impressive that she does drop any ash or the cigarette on herself while banging away and getting off.  Nice work, dirty girl.

While there are plenty of scenes in this flick when girls are smoking and jerking off quietly, I tend to really enjoy the loud and sassy smut talkers.  Scene 9 is another one of those loud ladies, letting us know exactly how much she loves cock and that she wants it so very badly.  She squeezes on her nipples and asks us if we mind if she has a little “fiddle” with herself.  No worries, love, we are right there with you.  Like the woman in scene three, this super sexy wanker inhales in her cigarette while she is moaning, enhancing both actions.  It’s not long before she is in a cloud of smoke, fucking herself silly with a great big dildo. Is this is what going across the pond looks like, sign me up!  What, how could I not be impressed with someone who makes the word “fiddle” sound sexy?

I still thing smoking is nasty and I’m glad I can’t smell the sets, but all in all, this is a pretty smokin’ solo sex flick.

Watch “” Now!

Horny & Alone

Usually if a movie is titled “,” I expect to see a whole bunch of people jerking off… by themselves.  That’s why I was a little confused when I started watching this recently added AbbyWinters flick and realized that 4 out of the 7 scenes of the movie are women either getting busy together or masturbating next to each other.  Now, I’m not saying that I am opposed to this, but I will admit that I was definitely caught off guard by the togetherness of these “alone” women.  Does it count to say you are by yourself when there is someone else orgasming less than a foot away from your own climaxing body?  Even if you don’t touch each other or only embrace in post-orgasmic bliss?  These are the questions to ask, people.

Ok, now that I’ve got that elephant in the room under control, let’s get to the hotness that is the sexy action offered up in this lesbian/jerk off flick featuring a whole host of fresh faced ladies.  While there is nothing wrong with fake boobs, tan skin and lots of make-up, don’t expect to see any of it in an Abby Winters movie.  These women are just totally plain and natural, and ready to show you how they pleasure themselves, whether they are alone or with a buddy.

Employing their signature fixed camera angle shooting, AbbyWinters brings us another movie chock full of delicious pleasure.  I love that the first scene offers us outdoor action with two ladies getting off on a picnic blanket.  They caress each other a little bit to get the juices flowing, then pull apart to work their own bodies into a frenzy.  While I do love me some girl-on-girl sexin’, there is something really freaking sexy about watching women masturbate next to each other.  I mean, one woman getting herself off is awesome – two just adds to that excitement!

We luckily get a few outdoor scenes in this movie – a solo party (scene 3) and another duo of diddlers (oh man, do I love alliteration or what?!?)  in scene 7.  My favorite part of that scene is that the women are actually masturbating one on top of the other at some points.  How dirty and hot!  I love it! Check it out:

There are of the scenes are shot indoors, but all have the same bright, ethereal feeling as the outdoor fun.  All in all, this movie gets my total thumbs up!

Watch “” Now!

After The Christmas Party

While everyone is making themselves crazy getting presents together and making sure the Christmas tree is perfectly trimmed, there are some of us that are excited about the annual awesomeness that is holiday parties.  There is something distinctly magical about gatherings this time of year and lucky for us,  agrees and is ready to show us just how merry she can get.

Starting this quickie (only 16 minutes) out lounging on an overstuffed leather couch, Eve takes her time slowly stripping layer after layer and caressing her body lovingly.  She makes sure to look into the camera and let us know how happy she is about having us watch.  Soon Eve trails her hand down to her pussy to give us a little show with her panties still on.  Who doesn’t love a little through-the-panties action?!  The anticipation is part of the fun.

Finally about half way through the flick, Angel takes her panties down and gives us a peek at her pretty, pink pussy and her beautiful, round ass.  It’s then that a dog starts barking in the background.  What a freakin’ boner killer.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I totally love a dog, but not barking in the middle of my porno.  Not cool, pornographers, not cool.  I was able to get over the annoying dog to get a chance to enjoy Eve fingering herself while moaning into the camera… and also contorting into the weirdest positions for us.    Had I known I was going to be watching Cirque Du Soiel, I’d have brought popcorn.

While I was pretty unimpressed with Eve Angel’s performance (she was lacking chemistry with herself), the real bummer here was that all I wanted was a Christmas movie, and the closest I got to a tree was an overgrown fern next to the couch.  Bo-ring.

Watch “” Now!

Hands On Orgasms 7

I like watching women orgasm.  It’s just a fact.  Whether they are getting there on their own, or getting assistance, I am always excited to see real orgasms on screen.  It only makes sense that I would like a studio like , which specializes in spotlighting female orgasms in all their delicious variety.  While most Femorg flicks are women masturbating, this one is slightly different because here they are getting a little handy help from their friendly cameraman.

Focusing on the women’s pleasure, the cameraman here is literally just a hand and an arm that plays with their clits and wields vibrators, bringing them to mind-blowing orgasms again and again.  And with ten scenes and nearly two hours of action, that is a whole heap of real lady pleasure.  Yum!  The one thing that does definitely disappoint me with this movie is that we don’t get any close-ups.  Since the cameraman is busy getting the performers off, the camera stays stationary and never even zooms in or out.  Sure, the handjobs are hot, but not as multidimensional as I like, if that makes any sense…

However they are filmed, these scenes are full of beautiful women that are enjoying themselves and getting off, so really, no complaints here.  I love watching the cameraman treat each woman’s pussy tenderly and give them all undivided attention.  And I totally love that every woman climaxes the ways the really, genuinely do and that each orgasm is different than the next.  I’m not knocking porn movies where women are having obviously fake, screaming orgasms, but knowing that the action is real makes it all so much hotter in my mind.

I have a few favorite scenes of the ten, but honestly, each and every one is really seriously hot and I recommend just skipping through and finding the ones that get you warm in your pants, because I’m sure there will be at least one.

Watch “” Now!

 

Intimate Urges

There is something so exciting about watching women masturbate.  Maybe it’s the still taboo nature of it all, or maybe it’s just fun to see someone bringing themselves pleasure.  Whatever it is, it is exhilarating!  Today I decided to take that thrill ride with one of my favorite smutty studios, AbbyWinters!  Known for featuring fresh-faced, natural women, either masturbating or having sex with each other, AbbyWinters always offers up really satisfying sexy action.  And  does not disappoint.

Intimate UrgesOne of my favorite scenes from this eight scene flick is the first scene, with , a pretty blonde with a pixie cut and a tight, smooth body.  She strips down and hops in the shower, taking time to wash her hair and soap herself up before training the shower head on her pussy and getting hot and bothered.

Soon Hayden has her hand in her crotch, rubbing away at her clit.  She moves around a bunch trying to find the perfect position for maximum pleasure. She experiments with putting her leg up on the side of the shower, contorting her body, and even tries the shower head again before finding the best position, which is leaning against the wall, fucking her pussy from behind while she flicks her clit.  Though Hayden is pretty quiet for most of the scene, she get a little more vocal towards her orgasm and builds herself into a pretty mind-blowing climax. Yum.

While Hayden is really freaking hot and I love watching her touch herself, I think the real reason I like this scene so much is that it gives us something a little different.  Female masturbation in porno usually tends to be a flat-on-you-back (or leaning back) experience, with little variation.  Sure, sometimes we get a woman flipped over on her stomach or sitting a bit straighter in her chair, but I’ve found that it’s rare to find a lady standing up and getting off in porn.  And I find that SO exciting.

Another scene I like so much is scene three, with .  It seems like she has been stood up for a date or something, so she clears her dining room table off and decides to jerk off on it instead.  I think that makes the most sense if you are trying to console yourself after a disappointment.  She’s not eating on the table, so why not distract herself with a little solo lovin’?  The voice-over part of the scene is a little cheesy to me, but I guess it helps explain exactly what’s happening.  Honestly, I find it pretty annoying, but turning the sounds down will make it so I can’t hear any moaning, which is a super turn on, so I’ll just try my best to ignore it.  Soon Kiana is rubbing her clit vigorously and cums with little fanfare.  Sure, it’s not as exciting as a big, crazy moanfest, but it’s real and I’d much rather it be subtle and real than big but fake.

The last scene I like best of the mix is the last one, scene 8.  poses in front of a mirror in her panties and t-shirt, doing a little dance and getting herself turned on.  She puts her hands down her panties and moves them to the side to brush her vibrator (which looks to be a Lelo toy) over her clit.  Nayomi gets more and more into it, arching her back and breathing hard while she watches her reflection.  The mirror is definitely my favorite piece of this scene.  We get not only Nayomi jerking off, but we get see her watching herself get off, which is really fucking hot!  I love that we see her back through the camera, and her front through the mirror and the camera.  It’s something unexpected and adds a bit of depth to the whole thing.

Take a looksie at what I mean.

Definitely another winner from AbbyWinters.

Watch “” Now!