Movie Reviews – Lesbian

We are so excited that Petra Joy is back with another installment of her seriously amazing series Her Porn.   Compiling the best of porn for ladies from a whole host of videos, Joy has created a totally fun and inspiring romp around the sexy playground and found so many super sexy scenarios for us to enjoy.  From the standard plumber comes over to bone story (scene 1), all the way to the rose colored memories of the 17^th (and last) scene, these vignettes are filled with some of the hottest, and most interesting erotic experiences.

What I really love most about the Her Porn series is that it’s not just a super long porno featuring one director’s content over and over again.  These compilations take sexy scenes from a variety of really fucking talented ladies that know how to bring their amazingly arousing visions to the screen.  This volume, 2, includes pieces from Anna Brownfield, Candida Royalle, Maria Beatty, Shine Louise Houston, Annie Sprinkle, and of course, Petra Joy herself.  If that list doesn’t send a few tingles down your pants, I’m not sure what will!

There really is no way to qualify which of these scenes were my favorites.  Honestly, they are all so completely different and amazing that it’s near impossible to talk about one over the other.  The few that stood out so intensely in my mind were the ones that made me really think, or made me wish I was home under the covers.  The two that made me sit down and really think about were definitely ‘Dildoman’ (scene 4) and ‘Who Wears The Dress?’ (scene 5).

‘Dildoman’ is a animated short that ends up featuring a woman fucking another woman with a man, using him as a dildo (sorry for the spoilers).  I wasn’t sure how to take it and I needed a minute to process through the whole thing before moving on.  Man, I love porn that makes me think!

With ‘Who Wears The Dress’ a male/female couple is fighting because they are both wearing the same dress to a fancy occasion and the woman is not happy that her man is dressed as woman, but it turns to super hot action as they fight.  I love that the story turns on its head and have never seen anything like it.  Bravo to Candida Royalle for breaking stereotype boundaries and bringing us such super hotness.

On the making-me-melt tip, the top stop goes to scene 13, which is a snippet from Shine Louise Houston’s  ‘Champion,’ which I’ve been dying to see for years.  I am actually really embarrassed to admit that I’ve never seen it!  And just getting this tiny taste has me super geared up to see the whole thing.  Just watch it and you will know what I mean.  Syd and Dallas, be still my horny heart!

You need to watch this movie!

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When it comes to porn, intimate isn’t the word I would usually use.  Sexy, maybe, or raw, but not intimate.  To me, intimacy conjures up ideas of closeness and bond that I wouldn’t necessarily equate to porn. That said, even as I wrote the last sentence, I could think of ten porn flicks that I would definitely consider to be intimate, so really, it all depends on the context, and, I think, the people behind the camera.  And not many folks do intimate like Kathryn Annelle and Triangle Films.

Throughout their hot little catalog, Triangle Films consistently offers up a refreshingly intimate edge and features women that really want to hump each other.  I’m not sure if it’s the chemistry of the pairings, or that these movies are filmed in an awesome environment where the performers are treated as more than just commodities, but nearly every scene Triangle puts out if filled with real passion, excitement and totally hot orgasms.  And, of course, Intimate Pursuit is no exception.

Each and every sexy scene in this aptly titled movie offers up super hot action and obviously real pleasure that stems from sexin that really is intimate.  I love when porno proves me wrong!  And all I can say is that pairing up Dylan Ryan and Ariel X, and Zoe Voss and Madison Young was such a rockin’ move.  Sure, all of the scenes feature amazing duos, but those two scenes (scenes 1 and 2), had an additional spark of electricity that had me grinning ear to ear while I was watching.  Not only all of these women top my list, they are so super hot as two pairs that my list seriously almost caught fire! Watching them have powerful, real orgasms is just icing on the sexiest cake ever made.  Thanks Triangle!  Trust me and watch this!

Watch “Intimate Pursuit” Now

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What do you do when you find that your lover has someone else tied up and waiting while you two are about to get busy?  Keep her tied up and start fucking on top of her, clearly.  Why get mad when you can get off, right?  And a living piece of sex furniture is nothing if not awesome…

I don’t know what’s hotter – Sadie Lune being a total bossy top, or her fucking Carson atop a tied-up Zhaira.  Both are exceptionally sexy, but I think the Hitachi-fueled orgasm that Sadie offers up definitely breaks any ties I was harboring.  All that screaming and bucking is wicked hot!

Wait – hold the fucking phone!  I spoke too soon!  When the focus turns to Sadie Lune, things get really real.  I was NOT expecting that SCREAMING orgasm from Lune.  I seriously had to rip my headphones from my ears it was so fucking loud.  Man, that Hitachi/hand penetration combo does some monumentally good things.  Noted!

Zhaira gets her own attention in the form of some oral sexin’ after Carson and Sadie scream their way into ecstasy, but even that is cut in on by Carson going to town on Sadie doggy-style, then Carson again using Zhaira as a pillow while Sadie fucks her raw.  But don’t you worry about Zhaira – it didn’t look like she was complaining at all.

All in all – another brilliant episode by the magic makers at the Crash Pad!

Watch “Crash Pad Episode 43 – Carson, Sadie Lune & Zahaira” Now!

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When a movie is titled “Idolize My Ass,” you pretty much know what to expect.  And lucky us, that’s exactly what we get – the complete idolization of one super sexy round ass!  Seriously, this lady (Rachel) has booty for days!  Not only that though, we get a gal in a bikini performing all of this beautiful ass worship.

Whether she is slapping, rubbing, kissing, licking or letting Rachel’s fine ass ride her like a pony, this lady is as happy as she could possibly be.  I love watching porn where the performers are as into the action as we ourselves would be.

The shoot is a little on the amateur side, which I think only adds to the charm, though the wobbly (and sometimes spinny) camera work does a number on my eyes and starts to give me a headache.  No worries though, since I am pretty pre-occupied by the hot girls.  Who wouldn’t be?

This may be a quick taste of delicious butt action at only 7 minutes, but honestly, it’s seven minutes I would watch over and over again.  They aren’t lying – Rachel really does have one powerful ass!

Watch “Idolize My Ass – Rachel’s Power Ass” Now!

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I’ve come to expect a lot from my porno. Whether it’s awesome performers, real pleasure, or extraordinary style – if you don’t have that added ‘umph,’ you won’t be getting more than a few minutes of my attention. But if you just so happen to have all three and more – well, you’ve found a place in my pervy, pervy heart. And once you’re there, it’s for keeps!

I think it’s pretty obvious that we are talkin’ about Carlos Batts. Everything this guy brings to the porno table is more exciting than the next – and this time it’s Artcore, a fucking amazing romp through a whole host of deliciously dirty sex acts featuring my personal favie, April Flores (who is also Batts’ wife). Each of the four scenes is totally different from the next, creating a multi-layered porno adventure that has me glued to the screen in anticipation of what comes next.

I seriously enjoyed this entire movie, but if I had to narrow it down, I would say that my top pick is a tie between scene one – featuring April Flores, Courtney Trouble and Kelly Shibari; and scene three, with April and Drew Deveaux getting busy.

The three-way masturbation between Trouble, Shibari and Flores is so ridiculously ah-mazing. I have a total thing for zaftig chicks, and this trio is so above and beyond hot. Yes, watching them fuck each other is stellar, but the opening with them touching themselves and each other’s tits definitely got my full attention from the first second. And once those Hitachi Magic Wands come out and they start screaming in pleasure… damn. Let’s just say that I’ve found my happy place. When they strap on and go at Kelly Shibari from both ends – I have no words…just a huge smile plastered on my face.

When it comes to Drew Deveaux, I am always a totally smitten kitten. Drew has this way of looking at the camera that hits you right in the bits – and this scene is no exception! Sexiness aside, I just really like Drew’s style, and am usually looking at her clothes and accessories as well as the smutty action. What? I can’t help but notice an awesome ensemble and smokin’ hot boots! I’m only human.

And can we just talk about April Flores in a bowler hat, pin stripes and a drawn-on mustache? Does it get any better? I think not, unless we go a little further to talk about Drew helping her out of those clothes. Things only get better once they are naked and going at each other’s bodies. Smacking, pounding and metal toys lead the way into mind-blowing orgams – just the way they should!

If you are looking for something extra sexy and a little off the grid, this is the movie for you!

Watch “Artcore” Now!

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Good Dyke Porn always gets it right.  I’ve never seen anything come out of this awesome Canadian studio that wasn’t packed with the hottest of hot dykes getting busy and having fun.  This time we have queer director Courtney Trouble and Jolene Pardon together for the first time.  They are both smokin’ hot chubby ladies with attitude and sex appeal that makes me melt a little into my seat as I write this.  I think I’ve only seen Jolene on screen (ha, a rhyme!) a few times, and each time I’ve become more and more smitten with her.  What can I say, a rockin’ hair cut and a pair of cowboy boots always does right by me.

The buildup is definitely what I initially noticed here.  So much breast play – which is obviously fine with me, but I was just surprised that they focused on each other’s tits for so long.  I mean, they don’t even take off their bottoms until 1/3 into the movie!  No complaints from this peanut gallery, as much as just narrating (which is really fun when it comes to porn and you should try it).

I absolutely love the contrast between Trouble’s black gloves and Jolene’s pale skin.  Especially when she starts getting really aroused and her bits (and her chest) start turning a lovely shade of deep red.

And then the Eleven comes out.  Look at that fine piece of stainless steel! Eleven inches and 2.75 lbs of pure amazingness – all for that lucky Jolene!  Tap, tap, tap, all over her creamy skin and against her pieced nipples and clit hood.  I totally agree with Courtney that the clink that metal toys make against metal jewelry is so super hot.

Jolene takes that Eleven like a total champ and it’s even sexier when she communicates to Trouble that she needs her to slow down, or not hit quite as hard.  Communication during sex is the best!  Second best is that awesome Hitachi Wand that Jolene brings into the equation.  I love how much louder the Hitachi gets when you flip it onto high power.  It sounds like a power transistor or something.  Well, I guess it kind of is, sending sparks of intense pleasure to the bearer.

And we can’t forget about Trouble getting hers!  Jolene’s huge strap-on cock has Trouble panting in about 2 seconds flat.  If I heard correctly, it sounds like this is Jolene’s first time behind the dildo, and if that’s true, this chick is a total fucking natural!  I can’t say I loved the slow-mo weird shooting when Trouble comes, but at least we could hear the audio of her moans in real-time, so I can’t complain.  And the post sexy giggles – that makes the total movie for me!

Thanks for another awesomely Good Dyke Porn!

Watch “The Slumber Party” now!



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Back last April, while I was up in Toronto for the Feminist Porn Awards, I caught up with Courtney Trouble and April Flores in the café at the Gladstone Hotel for a little lunch.  It wasn’t long before Dylan Ryan and Tina Horn came in and they all whisked away upstairs to shoot a few scenes for Roulette Toronto.  And ever since then, I’ve been patiently awaiting for us to get it in and for me to get my grubby little paws on it for review!  Finally, it’s time!  By now it’s no secret that I have a total hard-on for Courtney Trouble’s movies.  Add my love of Toronto and the thrill of being in the same hotel at the same time to that and what you get is a giddiness that instantly pushes this movie to the top of my list.  And I haven’t even mentioned the sex yet!

When a movie is this filled with authentic, amazingly hot action, it’s sometimes hard to know where to even start.  Along with Trouble, April Flores, Dylan Ryan and Tina Horn (behind the scenes as production assistant), the cast features queer porn staple Jiz Lee, Judy Minx, Drew Deveaux and more – including a bonus scene with Dia Zerva and her real life partner, Wordman getting nice and kinky for the first time together on film.

One of my favorite things about Trouble’s films are that the folks fucking always have such amazing chemistry, because they all actually want to be fucking one another.  All the pairings are totally spot on.  This time we get Courtney Trouble and Judy Minx together in a beautiful hotel room; Jiz, Drew and River Turner dancing their way into some threeway action; April with Dylan playing escort; Lascivia Liberty and Scout getting busy in one of their bedrooms; and the aforementioned Dia and Wordman.  And each of these scenes has their own distinctly sexy personalities.

While there’s no way I could pick out my favorite scene, I will say that there were a few choice bits that had my eyes glued to the screen.  In the first scene, Trouble paints Judy’s lips with bright red lipstick, then smears it all over her face and body, which is so fucking hot!  Then scene two has Jiz hanging from the ballet barre while getting plowed.  Does it get better than that?  Next we get Dylan squirting all over the place after April goes at her with the njoy eleven.  Man, those metal toys are the ultimate female ejaculation machines.  Scene four features so much amazing sexin’ on bright pink sheets, which I totally love!  And Dia and Wordman in scene 5 – I just love watching real couples get busy on screen!

And what a place to shoot!  Each room in the Gladstone Hotel is decorated beautifully by a different artist, making it one hella cool place to stay – and apparently an amazing place to shoot porn!  Give this great movie a watch!

Watch “Roulette Toronto” Now!

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Man, oh man, have I been patiently awaiting this one!  I first heard about this amazing instructional a while back and was super excited, but once director Tristan Taormino posted pictures on her blog of Dylan Ryan and Mr. Marcus going at it (scene 5), I knew I had to get my eyes on the entire thing.  And let me just tell you – holy crap was it awesome!

Obviously I love porn, but I’ll also be the first to admit that there is an abundance of fake orgasms in the movies, which is definitely a boner-killer for me.  An orgasm is such so wholly erotic experience – both to have and to watch, and I feel totally cheated when someone fakes.  With all that laid out, I’m sure you can see how it would be even more exciting to me that from the very beginning, this Tristan Taormino movie talks about how amazing female orgasms are, and really goes into detail about the different types of orgasms and pleasure.

I know I say it every time I review one for her movies, but honesty, Tristan Taormino does such amazing work!  Whether you are looking at it from an education standpoint, or just as a totally hot porno, her movies are filled with chemistry, real passion and the kind of energy that comes with really enjoying yourself.  Taormino’s brand of sex education has you absorbing the info without even realizing it – or I should say, because you are too turned on to realize that you’ve just learned all this great information.  But it’s still there, even after the heat dies down in your pants.

I feel like it would be to my detriment to even try to pick a favorite scene in this video.  Seriously, all six scenes are packed with super hot sex and more real orgasms than you can shake a vibrator at!  From Katie St. Ives; surprise orgasm in scene 2, to Madison Young screaming in pleasure (scene 4), to Dylan Ryan squirting all over Mr. Marcus’ leg in scene 5 – it was all amazing.  How do you pick your favorite part when all of them have so much rich, amazing action?!  I guess you just have to watch the whole thing and see!

Note that if you are looking to turn it on, get off and get going, this is maybe not the movie you are looking for, as the sexin’ doesn’t even really begin to go down until about 40 minutes into the movie.  But, to quote scene six’s James Deen:  “Watching girls orgasm is so rad,”  so this may be the one to slow you down!  It totally lived up to my expectations and more!

Watch “Tristan Taormino’s Guide To Female Orgasms” now!

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What do you love about women? I think a more apt question for this movie is what don’t we love about women!  Because these lady-lovin’ gals are head over heels for just about anything that women have to offer – from sweet smells and curvy bodies to passion and sensual kisses.  And lucky us, we get to watch them enjoy all those awesome girlie qualities, one mind-blowing orgasm at a time.

Now, I’ve seen a lot of all-girl porn in my day, but this movie has a totally different feel to me.  I’m not exactly sure why that is, but there is something about it that really stands out to me.  If I had to pin down the exacts of what makes this movie so incredibly hot to me, I guess I would have to say that the mix of the minimal, pared down backgrounds and lack of music (read: perfectly heard moans) helped me focus on just how sexy the action gets.

Plus we get a quick interview with each performer, getting to know a little about what they like best about women.  And you know how I love me a pre-sexin’ interview!  There really is no surprise here that this Club 59 video is nominated for two 2011 AVN Awards – for Best All-Girl Release and Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene.

Out of the four sexy scenes (the first one is just interviews), my favorite pairing was definitely Aiden Ashley and Zoe Voss of scene 2.  I was totally sold on these two from the first few minutes of their interviews and that interest definitely stayed with me until the last groan murmured from their mouths.  The women took their time getting into the action, taking each other’s clothes off slowly and really teasing one another into a state of bliss before letting them explode into orgasm.  While I’ll admit that sometimes the moans don’t always sound as real as I’d wish they did, you can definitely tell by their bodies that both women are getting off and enjoying themselves.

Two thumbs up for this awesome all-girl romp.  I guess you could even say I have a girl crush on this lady packed porno!  Good luck at AVN, ladies!

Watch “Girl Crush: Vol. 1” Now!

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Belladonna never fails to keep me glued to the screen.  Whether she is all glammed up or covered in dirt and grime, this amazing lady brings us her very best over and over again.  I guess that’s why she is nominated for AVN awards over and over as well.  This flick alone is nominated for six different awards, including Best All-Girl Release, Best Cinematography and, of course, Best Director, which just so happens to be Belladonna too!

I was hooked from the opening credits, which features the creepiest music I’ve ever heard.  Apparently it is Henry Hall’s “Hush, Hush, Here Comes the Bogeyman,” but all I know is that I wasn’t sure if I had turned on a horror movie or a porno, and that’s always a plus for me.  And not just some slasher flick with big boob girls running around – an actual creepy, gritty flick.  And lucky me, this porno was just that!  Think steampunk aesthetic meets “Hostel.”

Gritty is an understatement when Belladonna takes on the roll of a demented doll maker who brings her dolls to life for the sake of hot girl-on-girl (well doll-on-doll, really) action.  Heck, she even assists, making sure they all have the equipment needed to really get the job done (read big anal beads and dildos).  All the while the camera is rolling projector-style with all the same bumps and crackles like a real broken projector.  It just adds to the raw dirtiness of the flick, and what is Belladonna if not detail-oriented?

My favorite scene of this fabulously weirdo movie was hands down scene three, where Andy San Dimas and Lexi Belle are marionettes that Belladonna cuts down from their strings.  I absolutely love that they keep the cut strings attached to their fingers as they put them inside each other and roll around getting it on scissor-style.  Plus the sepia tone the whole movie takes on is perfect to get this scene into the mood it needs to be in to work extra well.  So many thumbs up here.

All around this movie is seriously awesome and one I highly recommend for folks looking for something a little different.  And, of course, for anyone who’s ever liked a Belladonna flick.

Watch Now!

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