Today’s Top Five Tuesday pays homage to my favorite bisexual movies and will hopefully bring to light some great flicks that fall into a genre that doesn’t get enough love from the industry. Good bi porn captures raw sexuality without restrictions and hopefully you’ll see it like I do in these movies!
In my experience, bisexual movies are really amazing or total crap. Apparently there is no middle ground when it comes to this particular genre. There’s nothing worse than watching bi porn where half of the participants are obviously not thrilled to be there. Since in the amazing world of porn all women are pretty much bisexual, it’s really important to find male performers who have a genuine interest in men and women. Not just some dude who’s desperate enough to close his eyes while another guy sucks him off.
The directors and performers in these movies set out to capture a broader picture of human sexuality, resulting in great porn for those of us who like to play outside the box.
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Anyone who knows me knows that baseball is my favorite thing in the world. I love baseball more than I love sex - and sex is part of my career! Often, I do my best to combine the two by using my sex toys while watching the game or having my partner do a striptease to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”
Okay, the last one never happened but a girl can dream, can’t she?
This movie is from 1987 but to me, it still holds up. Sometimes during the lengthy scenes of today’s porn, I start to zone out but all this action is short and steamy. My favorite scene takes place in the locker room between two studs on the team and their biggest fan who has them play by her rules - and with each other. After ordering them around to suck each other off, she says, “I’ve never seen this before!” But she seems to like it - and so do I.
I don’t know if it was the backstory of a minor league team’s struggles (think Bull Durham), the locker room love, or the thick mustaches but I really enjoyed this movie a lot. I’m definitely looking forward to the rest of my summer and all the bats (and balls!) in my future.
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I would like to start by saying how disappointed I am that this movie did not spoof American Pie at all. I mean, it would be so easy! I could write that movie on my lunch break today and still have time to take a walk.
Anyways, initially I didn’t realize that this movie is a blowjob flick. I expected fucking, so two scenes in I did a little more research and figured out that my assumptions were false. Basically, each scene features a chick and a dude sucking off another (I suppose less gay) guy. It’s an interesting twist on the traditional oral movie and I can see why this is one of our most popular. First, there are really hot girls (Rebeca Lineres!), so it’s ok for straight guys to watch and enjoy this movie. I mean, it’s not really gay if there’s a girl, right? Secondly, it’s different. There are a billion blowjob movies and they’re all the freaking same. This one is a little different because they throw a guy in the mix and for that it earns my praise. Finally, every scene is pretty hot. The girls are true professionals and these guys can suck cock like nobody’s business. A lot of bj flicks are kind of amateurish, so the acting is either over the top or the girl looks like she dreads every second. Thankfully, this one is well done!
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Porn with a narrator. Now that’s a first for me. Not that I particularly mind – it gives the movie a Masterpiece Theatre feel, though the actual acting isn’t exactly Masterpiece quality. But it’s not like we’re watching for the acting ability and riveting script. Let’s get down to the real deal – the fucking. Even writing this sentence, I am still up in the air as to which scene was hottest for me, two or three. The awesome g/b/b threesome in scene two included a pretty impressive simultaneous blow job/clit licking by the same person (again a porn first for me), but scene three’s poker game had the two guys watching the two girls get it on decide to start their own make out session, which of course turned into a total debauchery and a good fuck for all. Totally hot! I guess scene two wins by default, as scene three’s cards theme had them completely set up for a super sexy game of strip poker, which they totally overlooked. Guess we can’t win ‘em all, but this flick definitely gets two thumbs up for both great scenes.
-J.B. Bauchery
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I really have to give so-called bisexual movies more of a chance. While I think a lot of bi movies (and porn in general) are a waste of time, when I find a good one, I’m obsessed. Director Jim Steel has managed to capture a raw sexuality that transcends gender in this sequel. The basic premise is that a group of incredibly good looking people have come together for a weekend of play where the rules have been thrown out the window. My favorite scene starts around 20 minutes with Holly Halston and Keri Windsor making out in the shower. After soaping each other up, the scene cuts to the bedroom where Troy Halston is deep-throating Ken Ryker’s sizeable cock with ease. Soon the girls join in and what follows is a thing of beauty that includes a fierce anal pounding by a strap-on wielding beauty. If that’s not your thing, you’re likely to find a scene that is in this steamy story.
-The Porn Librarian
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You know, I don’t watch enough bisexual movies. To honor VH1’s latest reality train wreck and anyone who identifies as “a bisexual,” today I’m discussing Bareback Bi-Sex Lovers Film 5. Just so you know, bisexuality in porn is a lot different than in the real world. In order for a movie to fit under the heading of bisexual it has to, as the government might say, have at least two guys who engage in homosexual activity. A woman who sleeps with both men and women is not bisexual in the realm of pornography, she’s just awesome. This movie features 4 scenes that are all pretty similar: one chick, two dudes, and a sparsely decorated room to fuck in. The good news is that you’ll barely notice the almost empty rooms because this movie is hot. The stars are easy on the eyes and the scenes are all really energetic. I personally thing they saved the best scene for last, but wasn’t disappointed with any of the four.
The Porn Librarian
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OK, it’s official. Every innocent childhood memory I had has officially been perverted. I thought this might be the case previously, but I no longer have any doubts. In my tenure her at hm4her I’ve seen puppets, smurfs, santa, a coworker’s relative, and screech doing the nasty. Now, Goosed 3 has managed to pervert all of the Mother Goose rhymes I memorized as a child in this great spoof. As soon as I saw that Nina Hartley was playing Mother Goose (or Madame G as she prefers to be called) I knew that this was going to be a great find. No matter what you’re looking for, chances are you’ll find it in this sexual free for all. You’ll see Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum go down on a well-hung handyman, Georgie Porgie get it on with her lesbian lover, Margery Daw, and one happy couple made even happier by a third, the Ten O’Clock Scholar. If you pay close attention you’ll even hear a reference to one of my favorite’s - Dorothy Parker. The sex scenes are really hot throughout, and the dialogue will keep you laughing in between.
Boys and girls, come out to play!
The Porn Librarian
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