I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but I wonder how much money it would cost for a plane ticket to Lansing, Michigan? Who knew there was such a dearth of sexy butches, drag kings and FTM fellows out in The Great Lakes State? Not I. But alas, this city seems to be brimming with fine queers. And lucky for us, Butch Boi has harnessed (total pun intended) the hotness of the state capital into thirty-three minutes of fabulous queer XXX action.
From fucking atop a washing machine in the opening moments, to about twenty minutes of additional still photos after the movie, this flick pretty much tops the list of amateur queer/trans porn I’ve ever seen. In fact, it’s the D.I.Y. feel makes it so good for me. Whether or not this is really the case, the movie looks like a bunch of friends got together and decided to make a porn of how they fuck, complete with all the giggling, passion and excitement that comes along with screwing your buddies. The whole thing has a sort of 8mm film feel and even though there is music, you can still hear dialogue and laughing in the background, which I love. All in all, it looks like everyone was having a really good time.
While I really liked all the scenes and think they each had something special to offer, my favorite of the bunch was definitely scene 4. A quick note before I talk about the scene: I don’t know how these performers identify, so I’m gonna stick with vague, male-ish descriptors and gender neutral pronouns and go from there. Ok, back to the sex! The scene starts with two folks standing up and fucking. The dude getting it is up in the air, with legs up and wrapped around the dick wielding stud, with an additional guy helping hold up our fucked buddy. Pretty awesome so far, right? There was just something about the freedom of motion and swinging thrusts that really made the scene that much hotter. The loud grunting, moaning and thumping base just added to that ultra steamy sex appeal. I just love the fact that it was a threesome with only one naked person. Plus, the action goes right into an amazing shower scene, which was definitely my second favorite of the six.
All in all, this movie is a fun and sexy reminder that you don’t need big budgets, professional lighting or fancy cameras to bring super hot action to the screen. If you’ve got the passion and the performers, you’ve got an awesome porno right there. Oh, and it reminds me to book my flight…
I can’t wait to see more from Butch Boi!
-J.D. Bauchery
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There are a number of porn movies that fall into the grey area between art and sex. Some even merge the two to the point that you can’t even really tell what you are watching. Sure people are fucking, but what’s with Santa Claus carrying the inflatable donkey? This movie is not one of them. This is the Art of Sex, an actual examination of the artistry behind passionate sex. This movie looks into the sensuality that sex can create and takes the phrase “making love” literally.
But don’t think this is some boring, soft focus flick. Nope. There is hot triple X action, with plenty of naked bodies, moaning and fast paced fucking. As well as kissing, passion and real orgasms. Whether the performers are real couples or not, there is definitely real chemistry between each pair.
While I really like what this movie has to offer and the attention it pays to making sure each person is enjoying themselves, I didn’t see any one scene that really stood out to me as a favorite. All five were equally pretty good, but none were amazing. For me, I need to really be in the right mood when I watch a sensual video, and right now I wasn’t feelin’ it – though at another time I might have felt differently. I will say that one big turn off for me was that there was no music. While I love actually hearing the sounds of sex while I watch porn, I really prefer a little something in the background to keep it interesting.
If you are looking for a sensual adventure and a porn to perk your passion, this is the one to watch!
-J.D. Bauchery
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Apparently, I need to get a rival. We can push each other to the max before getting it on! This is going to be super sweet.
While I’m not usually one who seeks out girl fights, the tension set up by a little rough housing in this Sweetheart Video flick leads to some super hot sex!
My favorite scene ended up being the last one and stars Ariel X and Samantha Ryan – two girls who do a lot of all girl porn and are amongst my favorite femme-y (not dyke porn) performers. Both girls are gorgeous with long, lean bodies and know what it takes to please a woman.
They set the scene up with Ariel X coming in after a night of partying to wake up Ryan, who apparently takes her studies a bit more seriously. After an argument, they end up going at it with a ferocity that makes me wish I’d had more inconsiderate roommates in college.
There’s a ton of amazing oral action, which is why I really loved the scene. Eating pussy is rarely the focal point of a scene and these girls really go to town on each other. Of course, there’s lots of hot finger fucking and kissing as the girls writhe against each other. It’s a pretty long scene, but never boring thanks to the intensity that is present throughout. For those of you who like your girl on girl action toy free, this is a great scene.
In the end, like everything else I’ve seen from Sweetheart, this porno wins my approval. The girls are gorgeous (fans of redheads should check out Mz. Berlin!) and the XXX is sure to get your heart pumping. Plus, it’s got just a pinch of hot fetishy goodness that makes it unique.
p.s. who has a kitchen like that when they’re in college? That fridge cost more than my all of the furniture in my college apartment. At least they were fucking on a twin bed – now that is something that reminds me of my school days.
-The Porn Librarian
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I’m going to tell you a secret - I’m a big Christian Slater fan. Seriously, really big, I’ve seen all of his movies. When I say all, I do mean all, not just the really good ones from the 80’s I’ve also seen his more recent less appealing works. So when I stumbled across the porno “Peters,” which is supposedly a gay parody of the Christian Slater teen angst classic, “Heathers,” I knew what I’d be reviewing this Tuesday.
“Peters” isn’t so much a parody as it’s a bunch of quotes punctuated by lots of fucking. And I do mean lots of fucking - it’s almost an hour into this movie before any kind of actual plot surfaces and people keep their clothes on for whole scenes at a time. That lasts for about fifteen minutes, apparently enough time for several scene changes, before we jump back to a couple jocks in the pool. All in all the movie comes off as even more serious than Slater’s previous classic.
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I’ll start with review off with an admission. Sometimes it’s difficult to watch these TV show porn spoofs. It’s not that they aren’t good, funny and hot… it’s just that some of them totally taint the shows that I spent my younger years loving. Like Bewitched. I watched Bewitched religiously when I was growing up. It was my favorite show on Nick At Nite and I must have seen every rerun of the series. That said – it was a lot harder to watch this spoof than one of a show that I had little interest in (like the Brady Bunch). I tried my best to shake all my warm memories of Samantha and Darren and get into the action that is most definitely Not Bewitched XXX.
Darren always told Samantha (played by Jenna Haze) that bad things would happen if she messed with magic in the house and boy was he right! It’s little Tabitha’s first birthday and while babysitting her, batty old Aunt Clara (the not so old Eva Angelina) casts a spell to turn Tabitha into an eighteen year old (Teagan)! Not only does Clara forget the counter spell, but now they all have a horny young woman on their hands! How will Sam and Darren get their daughter back to normal? And how will they host her birthday party, especially with Darren’s boss coming to the house. Thankfully with lots of hot XXX action and deep dicking, everything eventually turns out for the best. Phew. Oh, and Nina Hartley plays a very awesome - and very realistic to the show - Endora, Samantha’s blunt mother. Unfortunately we never get her naked, but still, I’m always glad to see the fabulous Miss Hartley.
Porn spoofs are kind of ridiculous. The sex is seriously stuck in wherever it lands, whether or not it has anything to do with anything. Sasha Grey turns up as a model for Darren’s ad agency and proceeds to fuck on his desk when Darren is away. Ron Jeremy pops up as Dr. Bombay, who comes to celebrate the birthday, yet returns to a desert orgy after the cake is cut. I might never understand what that had to do with, but hey, a room full of beautiful women fucking and sucking each other is nothing to turn your nose at.
Overall, I think I’d give this movie 3 out of 5 stars. It’s witty, true-enough to the sitcom and pretty hilarious at times, as well as pretty freaking hot to watch. I’m taking one star off for total randomness in regards to sex and one star off for the horrible pair of white platform boots that seem to have made it onto half the girls’ feet in the movie. Hey, I have standards.
-J.D. Bauchery
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This time I was craving a movie I could get lost in, and so I picked up the rather long “Cry Wolf.” With over a 2 hour run time, and more AVN nominations and awards than I can shake a stick at, I figured I’d be in for one hell of an engrossing movie.
Five minutes into the film and I can already tell I’m in for a major treat. The word that comes to mind first is, tasteful, really actually tasteful. I’ll admit that within the first few minutes the male lead has his tongue buried in Monique Alexander’s crotch, but the set, costuming and even the dialogue doesn’t scream wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. One gets the feeling that you’re watching a particularly raunchy mainstream thriller, complete with sultry seductive femme fatale. That’s high praise coming from me since the lead, Monique Alexander, is the typical porn blond, but with natural breasts and the ability to recite her lines with conviction - so ok, maybe she’s not so typical after all.
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While I usually wouldn’t give a movie called “Bang That Bitch 4” a second look, Belladonna caught my eye on the cover and I’m pretty sure that if there’s one girl in this world who wants to get “banged like a bitch,” it’s her. Anyways, I decided I would watch the one scene with her in it and, if it was worthy, review it. Since you’re reading this, you should be able to deduce what I think.
First, Belladonna is totally young in this scene. I mean, I’m sure she’s a lot younger than I am, but I’m guessing it’s a pretty old scene by her tan lines, clunky shoes and pubic hair. Checking out a girl’s pubes is like carbon dating…
Anyways, Nick Manning is the lucky dude who gets to bang Belladonna and there’s a reason why he’s been getting his dick wet for money for like 100 years. He’s great in this scene, but doesn’t try to steal the scene from one of my favorite porn stars.
Manning starts by eating Belladonna out before finger banging her and, of course, it’s awesome. She’s absolutely adorable and sexy and everything I always expect her to be. Soon enough, she shows off her oral skills, deep-throating Manning’s sizeable member over and over again. It’s pretty amazing how she makes things I’m usually not into totally hot. The bj scene is pretty long, but she’s having so much fun that you can’t help but enjoy it.
Once they’re both good and ready, she climbs on top of Manning and rides him reverse cowboy style for freaking ever. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a tamer Belladonna scene and I am reminded why I fell in love with this dirty bird years ago. It’s pretty hot, but once they switch it up and he’s absolutely drilling her from behind I was thanking the porno higher power for Bang that Bitch 4…
Since it is Nick Manning, you know this scene is ending with him dropping loads and our greedy girl gobbling it up.
Regarding the rest of the movie, I have nothing to say. I don’t know who’s in it and don’t really care all that much. I’m just thrilled to have stumbled upon this great scene.
-The Porn Librarian
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I always have a good time when I stop by for a visit at the Crashpad, and this time in no exception. Super cute queer duo Legs and Johnny Love waste no time once they get inside this sex den – within minutes their clothes are on the floor and they are gloved up for some fun! I especially love that Legs makes sure to take out her oversized hoop earring before really getting into the action. Can you imagine getting one of those caught up while you’re getting’ busy? No thanks!
My favorite part of this hot 25 minute quickie was the communication between the gals and how relaxed they were (or at least seemed). They giggle and talk, all while kissing and groping each other’s bodies. I love that Johnny lets Legs know exactly how she likes to be fucked – slower and harder. Check and check, Johnny… I’ll keep that in mind. And once Johnny strapped a dick on, all bets were off for me. Watching her plow into Legs with her rhythm totally controlled and those bedroom eyes focused on her bottom, you can tell she is a total stud. I’m still grinning as I write this. And blushing.
It’s wildly exciting to me to see people with real chemistry on the screen, and these two definitely had me giddy to watch every minute of their scene. Thanks Shine, it was another amazing night over at the Crashpad!
-J.D. Bauchery
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Sometimes a girl just needs a little romance, which totally explains why I’m reviewing “White Wedding” today. It’s funny when these cravings crop up for me, since I’m the kind of hardcore film noir fan that rarely has time for comedies (if they aren’t black) and never blinks twice at your average romance. Of course, porn romances aren’t average - they’re better!
“White Wedding” revolves around the heroine, Chasey, as she takes trip after trip down the aisle in a quest for true lasting love. Not being your typical promiscuous porn heroine, Chasey makes sure to marry her various paramours. Unfortunately, the first one she marries isn’t terribly faithful and after Chasey catches him with his hands down another woman’s shirt, for the third time, the relationship quickly sours. Honestly after seeing the way he looked at Chasey when she stepped up to the altar, I’m not surprised that the relationship didn’t pan out, she might as well have been wearing a dress made out of filet minion. Poor Chasey, every single one of her relationships seems to hit a snag after about six months.
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While it’s definitely nice to have five or six scenes to choose from when you aren’t sure what you’re looking for, it’s not always necessary. When I saw the star bios for these two dudes, I knew right away that I didn’t need any more options.
The entire film is only thirty minutes long and there’s no reason you can’t watch the entire thing, I’d suggest the second scene if you’ve got places to be. The first isn’t bad, but it’s a bit slower (which means some good oral action) and more of a set up for the pounding that takes place in the second.
With multiple positions and both boys bottoming at some point, there’s a lot going on in the second scene. I always love when it seems like a couple isn’t fucking for the first time, and I have a feeling Collin and Hurley have been on this ride before. By the time they’re finished, Collin is standing above a cum covered Hurley and both boys are exhausted. You know I don’t like to dish all of the dirty details, but let me just say that the thirty minutes it took to wear these boys are packed full of frenzied fucking.
Jake Cruise movies are really hit or miss for me, but this one is definitely worth a watch.
-The Porn Librarian
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