I can’t believe I haven’t reviewed this movie before. When I started working in porno way back in 2005, this was the first ridiculous movie a co-worker told me that I just had to see. Since it’s Halloween this weekend and this porno is scary awesome, it seemed like the perfect time to share it with the masses.
The first thing you’ll need to do is skip the first seven minutes – I’ll break it down for you. Katja has volunteered for some top-secret scientific project where she takes medicine while wearing a jumper. There’s a ton of bad dialogue if you’re interested, but I suggest you get to the good stuff.
At exactly 8:37 Katja takes her medicine, and what follows is a death scene that rivals Pee Wee Herman’s in the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s then that we see Dr. Mean’s true intentions – he’s going to turn Katja into a robot using a really advanced technique that involves a stethoscope, a lab coat and a microchip inserted into her bra. All in all, the procedure takes about a minute – not too shabby!
After the procedure, Katja is controlled using a combination of voice commands and a television remote. This is when we find out that she has been programmed to strip tease, give pleasure, and to be the perfect killer. Awesome! I can’t even set the timer on my coffee machine – Dr. Mean is a fucking genius!
Unfortunately, she is not exactly what Dr. Mean was looking for. He didn’t expect her to act like a defective robot. I’m guessing he thought she’d be a sexy fembot that he could send out to assassinate his enemies after fucking her silly. I don’t want to ruin the ending of what is probably the best kept secret on HotMoviesForHer.com, so I’m not going to reveal what happens next. Just know that you’re life isn’t complete until you see this trainwreck.
Just so you know, I really wish that I could truly express just how fantastic it is watching this lady in action, but I know I’ll never do her justice. If you picture the way a five year old would impersonate a robot, you’ll begin to understand how she moves around the room while some old dude holds a clipboard and a remote control. It’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
p.s. I totally have everything I need to make a Killer Hot Robot of my very own, assuming the memory card from my camera will work as a microchip. I am now accepting applications for killer hot ladies who are interested in playing the robot to my Dr. Mean this Halloween!
Just when I thought that there wasn’t another possible way to integrate vamp culture into society, I stumble upon Fleshlight’s latest offering – the Succu Dry!
I know JD highlighted Tantus’ Vamp Dildo a while back, but I’m sure many of you were left wondering, “what about the goth tops?” Not everyone wants to get drilled by a creature of the night – some of us would rather feed our meat to a fanged femme fatale! Well, worry no more my friends.
Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.
We just added Frisk Me, the first movie from Good Releasing’s HeartCore Films to the site, and I can’t wait to sit down and watch this one from start to finish this weekend. Yeah, that’s right, I’m watching this one off the clock!
I mean, with Satine Phoenix, Syd Blakovich and Tyler Knight all getting down and dirty, I can’t imagine this will be anything but amazing. I’m a huge fan of Madison Young, who takes on Tyler’s Knight-stick in the final scene, and I really love what she gets out of her performers as a director.
If just seeing the picture about isn’t enough to convince you to see this one, because maybe you’re crazy or something, here’s the PG trailer!
We’re super into Halloween this year. I thought that JD’s T5T highlighting our best vampire movies was so inspiring that I wanted to do the same for zombies. Here are my favorite movies featuring horny dead people that’ll leave you craving brains and booty!
Zombie Nation: I will watch any movie that includes the following statement in it’s description: “sex-starved zombies roam looking for some fresh British cunt to feast on.” And people joke about British food… It sounds like they’re eating well to me!
Strip For Pain – Episode 4: NYC Zombie Crawl : Strip for Pain is always insane, but when you combine it with the NYC Zombie Crawl it’s out of this world. Watch as dudes tolerate the twisted actions of the Burning Angel girls. The more shit they can take, the more clothes the girls take off!
Zombie Serum: I’m including this one because it’s fucking weird, and when you’ve seen as much porn as I, you begin to appreciate this kind of crap. In this one, everyone keeps getting injected with Zombie Serum, which sounds awesome, but it doesn’t lead to Zombie sex or anything. Just something called “Tummy Stretching.” I’m not sure what that is, but maybe it has something to do with posing dead girls on couches and stuff. Weird.
Porn Of The Dead: FrzKey just reviewed this one, but I just had to include it. It’s too good to leave off of this list. There’s blood and gore and crazy zombie sex. Really, what more could you ask for?
Re-Penetrator: Finally, this may be the ultimate halloween porno of all time. It’s definitely not for those of you who have a weak stomach, but if you love blood, guts and fucking you HAVE to see it. It may be Joanna Angel’s best performance of all time!
So, I’m not sure if it’s obvious from my daily rants and raves, but I’m not really into stuff. I don’t like being part of groups or cute animals or most things that are fun. Before you feel bad for me, please don’t. I’m totally rad, it’s just by myself or with my life buddy who for some reason thinks I’m awesome. I’m guessing it has something to do with my sweet rack.
Anyways, I was talking about it with a friend who’s some big skeptic (whatever that means) and as we discussed the pros and cons of the internet, and I decided to be pro-active about being more involved in things.
Since I’m a total perv, I turned to porn to help me find a new group of friends to love and cherish forever. After a ton of research (five minutes) I came up with a list of potential associations I shall consider dedicating myself to.
1. Lesbian Sex Cult – This is obviously a great fit for me. I’m a giant lesbian, I totally love doing it and I would be an excellent cult leader. It may take a couple of weeks for me to usurp power from the current head honcho (Queen Latifah, most likely), but I’m pretty sure this would be awesome.
2. Topless Fight Club – I’m fond of saying I’ll have a kid as soon as someone starts a New Mommy Fight Club, but I think I’m going to have to take that back now that I’ve found out that there’s a Topless Fight Club! I can’t think of a better group of girls to associate with, than one where every single lady is down to take off her shirt and duke it out. I hope it’s bare knuckle!
3. Team Squirt – Once I played paint ball as a team builder in college. It was a lot of fun until I got hit with one of those fuckers. I think I’d be really into it if I didn’t have to worry about going home with welts from some stupid freshman who thought it would be funny to shoot me from like five feet after the game was over. I’m going to track down my super soaker tonight!
4. Buck Angel’s Ultimate Fucking Club – I’m not sure what kind of group activities this club enjoys, but if it’s the “ultimate,” I think I should at least consider it. I mean, I think it’s really important to be the best I can be all the time. I’m not going to settle for the “Mediocre Fucking Club.” I am a little hesitant, because I’m not sure that the swearing was necessary when naming the MFC, but hopefully Buck and the crew are just really passionate about it.
5. Sandwich Club – I love sandwiches! I ate tomato sandwiches for lunch for almost a month straight this summer and I can’t wait to show off my fancy panini maker. Nevermind. I just looked at the damn cover. This is why I don’t join stuff. You get all excited about the possibilities and you end up getting double teamed by two German dudes.
I’m totally going to go back to walking in the woods for hours at a time…
Here comes Trouble… with a digital video camera in tow. Courtney Trouble that is, queer porn director and star extraordinaire. The San Francisco-based Trouble has been making a name for herself since 2002, with the creation of her baby NoFauxxx.com (now the oldest running queer porn site on the web) and in more recent years as she has taken the reins on a bunch of avant-garde feminist porno flicks.
When she’s not accepting awards and accolades (including SF Guardian’s 2009 Best of the Bay Queer Porn and a Feminist Porn Award for “Most Deliciously Diverse Cast”), Trouble is behind the camera, giving direction to some of the hottest stars to grace the porno screen, including Jiz Lee, Syd Blakovich and April Flores, to name a few. Her first movie, Roulette, has just hit HotMovies4Her and we couldn’t be more excited to celebrate this fabulously fierce femme queer pornographer and the super hot fruits of her labor.
1. How (and when) did you get started in the industry? I’m not exactly sure when my involvement with making feminist, queer imagery became an involvement in the adult industry, because at first it was an art project focusing on expressing “real” desires to equalize my experiences as a full-time fantasy-based (aka not-real) phone sex operator. I can’t pinpoint a decisive moment when I realized that No Fauxxx was a breathing entity in the porn industry. Except maybe right now, with my first film being released world-wide on a mainstream (and yet, extremely sex-positive!) level with Good Releasing, and is being reviewed and promoted by people like Fleshbot, Hot Movies For Her, and even AVN. Since the release of Roulette in July, I have been very busy creating my second, third, forth, and fifth films for Good Releasing (Nostalgia out now, Speakeasy out now, Seven Minutes In Heaven out October, Roulette: Dirthy South out November).
2. If you weren’t in the adult industry, what would you be doing?
I was 18 when I started doing phone sex, working from home. I taught myself web design and digital photo editing and printing in my down time during my 4-5 years. I went to school for photography, I actually have two degrees. I think if I weren’t lucky enough to be surviving (meagerly) off my art, I would still be doing something with photography or web design more commercially. Read the rest of this entry »
Elexis Monroe is your total girl next door… sweet, bubbly and the kind of foxy lady you hope gardens in her short shorts. With her mischievous smile and sultry moves, Elexis rocks the lady lovin’ socks off of whomever she touches and makes love to the camera with little effort. She is equally adorable and sexy all around.
After heating up the porno screen as a staple for Girlfriends Films and other top lesbian studios, Monroe signed on with Sweetheart Video earlier this year as their first ever contract star! Her first feature with them should be out later in the year. In the meantime, see what she has to say about porn bloopers, sushi and animal rights and be sure to check out her awesome movies here on HM4Her.
1. How (and when) did you get started in the industry? I first started about 10 years ago. I walked into World Modeling after I saw their ad in the newspaper. I thought it was for figure modeling, which to me at the time was Victoria Secret sort of stuff. I walked in, looked around and noticed all the pictures around me were of females mostly naked. I thought ‘okay no biggie.’ I took a few test shots and was handed a list of 10 main contacts. It went from there. I started with magazine shoots, solo modeling gigs, which later progressed to Girl-Girl Sex Movies : ) Years later, here we are.
2. If you weren’t in the adult industry, what would you be doing? Working with animals or a photographer. I love them both more than life and both are huge inspirations and passions to me. Truth is, after I graduated from college, my plan was to become a Fish & Game Warden for California. : ) Imagine that. Me with a gun, sort of. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m much more into football than cheerleaders, but I will admit that I can usually find a girl or two that catch my eye during half time festivities at sporting events. I can’t help myself, I like a girl who moves well to bass heavy music. Since it’s the first week of football, it seemed like the perfect time to highlight my favorite pornos that feature cheerleaders.
Debbie Does Dallas: This pick is so insanely obvious, but how could I not include one of the most popular/awesome adult films of all time. No one will ever capture the role of the slutty cheerleader better than Bambi Woods, the original Debbie. Plus, and the one and only Stoya reviewed it for us back when she was our intern, so you should check out what she thought about it.
Ex-Cheerleader Punished: I’m willing to bet that for every person out there who wants to see a cheerleader getting her pussy drilled by a muscular jock, there’s someone who’d rather see said cheerleader bound, gagged and whipped. This selection is for you!
The Perfect Fantasy: I love Penthouse movies and if you’ve dreamed of two girls with pom poms going at it for years, you’re going to love the fourth scene of this one. Find out what really happens in the locker room before a big game as these two girls lift up their skirts and get down to it.
Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders: I am definitely a fan of big asses, so I had to include this Evasive Angles flick in my top five today. These girls get drilled by black studs in this interracial fuck flick full of girls who are more than willing to take one for the team.
Cheerleaders Gone Wild #6If you didn’t know DJ Yella was a porn director, you can thank me later. This is just one example of the way some companies have managed to combine hip hop with adult to create really great porn. I mean, this one doesn’t feature Snoop Dogg, so it’s not my favorite ever, but it’s really awesome watching these cheerleaders in action!
There’s no doubt that porno spoofs are here to say. People love them and if there’s one thing porn producers always do, it’s give the fans what they want. While I’m still a little wary of the onslaught, I have to say that I’ve seen some really great movies that are both hot and hilarious. We recently added This Ain’t Happy Days XXX and, while I haven’t seen it yet, I’m pretty sure that Tommy Gunn as the Fonz is going to be my favorite porno casting of all time!
There’s further good news for the industry – spoofs have gone mainstream! I just read an interview with Will Ryder from Newsweek, a magazine my mom gets, about the genre. If you’re interested in knowing more about how this madness all started or what Peter Brady thinks about Not The Bradys XXX, here’s a taste:
So when you’re casting these movies, is it more important that the cast looks like the original actors or that they are experienced performers?
It’s not so much a look thing; it’s a feel thing to me. We made a number of casting changes in the Marcia character. Each movie so far has a different girl playing Marcia. Which might sound like suicide for the series, but really it turned out to be a godsend. I look for an innocence. The girl that just played Marcia is played by Lexi Belle, one of the biggest sluts in the business. She’s done 100 scenes. She came to my office and she looked like a sweet, innocent girl. We wanted her to be a sweet, innocent girl, but she’s got a wild streak. This girl had the look in her eyes. She had the feel. She read for us. She got it. But what was most important was the sweet, sincere, young innocence that I look for and she had it. Regardless of her past and regardless of how many guys she banged in her life, it didn’t matter.
For the rest of the interview, and I never thought I’d say this, head over to Newsweek.com!
It’s been a while since my last book review, but I actually have a reason besides laziness this time. Today, I am reviewing not one, but two erotica comps from Cleis Press. A couple of months ago, they released Girl Crazy and Boy Crazy – two collections of coming out erotica that tell of first time gay encounters. It only makes sense to discuss them both now.
First up, because I’m a girl who loves girls, I’ll begin by tackling Sacchi Green’s Girl Crazy. Let me just say that I was surprised by the variety of tales told in this one. I was expecting a bunch of cute and relatively innocent stories about BFFFs (Best Friends Finally Fucking). While there were a number of them, and they were pretty good in general, I was glad not to read 17 consecutively.
Stories like Maggie Cee’s Femme Into Me, the tale of a budding (and kinky) Butch/Femme relationship that repeats the line “She Fucked The Femme Into Me” over and over again, were not what I was I was expecting. I found myself pleased and turned on as I poured over the pages.
If you’re looking to relive those innocent days when you found yourself wondering what your best friend’s hand on your knee really meant, the first story is super cute. Sommer Marsden tells the story of two friends who give in to their desires one hot summer day in Spitting Seeds.
If you’d rather read about boys, you’ll definitely love Richard Labone’s Boy Crazy. This collection of firsts has the same feel as Green’s, but with more testosterone.
My favorite story is The Viking by Ron Wolfsham. It’s the story of a young twink who finds himself at a frat party and ends up spending the night with a football player he’s dubbed “The Viking” due to his red hair and massiveness. It was super hot, but I also loved it because the Viking turns out to be a good guy who happens to love cock and football. It’s nice to see this story play out like a fairytale and I have no problem admitting that!
Overall, both books are a lot of fun. I love the mix of cute coming out stories and tales of torrid first sexual encounters and recommend either, depending on your personal tastes.
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