For those of you that don’t know, like I didn’t until I watched the L-Word for the 5th time and picked up on it, a gold star lesbian is one who has never been with a man sexually. Enter the brilliant minds of Alyx Fox and Foxhouse Films! While standing around the kitchen table, our three ladies, Alyx, Chelsea Poe and Gaperiella Holl, are drinking wine and preparing for a night on the town. Of course sex becomes the main topic, and Poe reveals that she’s a gold star lesbian, saying she’s never even seen a penis before. I thought this was clever since Poe has a penis and I like humor with my pornography so I got a chuckle out of that. Immediately after the revelation, you can tell Fox and Holl have all types of ideas flowing through their brains, and what follows is a damn good time for everyone involved.
The entire thing goes down in the kitchen and I’m a huge fan of kitchen sex, so I was right on board. The dominance asserted by Alyx and Gaperiella is to be expected and they’re amazing at it as usual. With Foxhouse already known for its feminist approach to the way they do things, I knew this was going to be a major turn on with some hidden gems along the way. Up until now though, I’d never had the pleasure of watching Chelsea Poe perform. I knew of her success with Fucking Mystic, but that was as far as it went. She’s hot! I have a thing for red hair done right, and I love it on Chelsea. She also has a nice smile, which gets you 100 bonus points in my book. As previously stated, I like that she plays the gold star lesbian, but all that goes out the window once you watch that girl give a blowjob. I mentioned in a previous post that BJ’s are usually an automatic fast forward for me, but with Alyx and Gaperiella in complete control I had to watch it play out. Turns out this isn’t your typical blowjob. Both ladies strap up and immediately begin face-fucking and deep-throating Chelsea. She handles it way better than I could! Things heat up when our gold star is pulled by her hair on all fours to a separate part of the kitchen. Now we get some fucking action and that has my name all over it! Alyx hits it from the back while Holl continues getting her dick sucked, and the site of Chelsea’s bare ass was a huge creamer for me. We’re only 6 minutes into the flick at this point, but for some reason it felt like I’d been waiting a while for someone to get fucked. Needless to say I was pleased when it finally went down. Poe’s moaning was hot, as you could tell with each stroke she got more and more into it. When she’s flipped around and fucked missionary I lost it! Her erection further illustrates just how into it she really is, and when she cums it’s literally an explosion! Fox was definitely doing something right because that girl lost her top completely. So much so that they all have a little laugh after the fact just from the sheer shock of how much it was.
After the pop-top, we flash to Poe bent over a chair with Alex making her hold an orange in her mouth and Gaperiella sticking a carrot up her ass. I chalked that up to light femdom play that’s a little out of my area of expertise, but appreciated nonetheless. Then, out of the blue, a guy walks in-GASP-and shit gets real! This caught me by surprise, but I like the decision. It took some thought, but I finally figured that if Poe is supposed to be a gold star lesbian, the only way to break that label is with a cock. Strap-ons are fun, and in this particular instance they’re an amazing warm up, but if the point is to knock our beautiful redhead down to a silver star lesbian, you gotta throw some real dick in her face, and that’s exactly what they did. The penis, played by Andy Whore-Holl, is immediately stuffed in Chelsea’s mouth upon its arrival. (For the record, Andy is a pretty cute dude with a HUGE dick! I definitely made a side note to check out more of his stuff.) If you’re a gag and spit lover this is totally for you. Our two mistresses make sure Chelsea is never without a mouthful. They even stuff it with his nut sack, which was pretty impressive. You get a more extreme BJ experience than before with some nose holding and heavy face fucking. The dick-slapping was my personal favorite (I want to dick slap someone so bad!) but it’s obvious Andy enjoyed the whole shebang! His load was almost as huge as the one Chelsea unleashed a few minutes earlier. I would have liked to see Poe getting fucked a little more. Her moans are so sexy and I know she had a few more to pop, but the point is to knock her down to silver not take away her lesbo card for good, so again, smart decision.
Overall, I was pleased and would easily recommend this flick to those who are more into the BDSM side of things as opposed to plot or gonzo sex stuff. If you’re like me and into it all, give this a watch, you won’t be disappointed!
I must admit, I pre-judged this one. The dyke inside me took one look at the box cover and decided nope, not for lesbians, not even a little. It’s glam and glossy with a model feel to it, and everything inside me was ready to bash it. I was wrong…dead wrong! It is all of those things, but that’s what enhances the plot and makes it great. Had I actually read the box cover I would have known that’s the point of this flick, but I didn’t, and trust me, I learned a lesson.
Adam & Eve’sLesbian Fashionistas is about a “straight” woman, Liz, played by the beautiful Penny Pax, who is thrown into a lesbian filled fashion company with more on its mind than selling lingerie…way more! The opening credits are cool. The music reminds me of something between smooth jazz and the Red Shoe Diaries theme, and half naked women in lingerie are thrown in your face immediately, which is always a good thing. There’s an underlying artsy thing going on with the various camera angles and the overall feel of the set that I really liked. From the beginning I was drawn to Liz’s innocence. During her first phone call with her soon-to-be boss plus some, I found myself extremely turned on by her stumbling giddy nervousness. The entire time I’m thinking “Oh please, somebody hurry up and fuck her. She needs it soooo bad.” I really couldn’t wait for that innocence to be ruined!
Scene 1 – Sasha Knox & Nickey Huntsman
Rita, played by the flawless Sasha Knox, is the right hand to the boss and she happens to be the one in charge of showing Liz around headquarters on her first day. Liz is immediately faced with naked women touching and rubbing all over the place and the uneasiness mixed with extreme curiosity is all over her face. Things escalate rather quickly when Rita eyes a sexy young model, Nickey Huntsman, and just can’t keep her hands to herself. It’s obvious these models are fucking whenever they feel like it because nobody in the room besides Liz so much as bats an eye. Being watched doing the nasty is kinda my thing, so for this was perfect, especially with Liz’s reaction to the whole ordeal. She goes from curious to horny in less than 60 seconds and starts rubbing her pussy and breasts through her clothes. Rita is definitely in charge as she fondles, flips, and grinds all over Huntsman while undressing her. At this point the boss lady, Victoria, played by the drop dead gorgeous Ash Hollywood, walks in on the action and straight up to Liz. The action continues with titty sucking, finger fucking, and pussy licking before Knox pulls out a strap-on and goes in on Nickey’s shaved wet pussy. The sex itself isn’t anything we haven’t seen before, but the set-up is sure to make you cream a little more than usual. Not only is the pair being watched, but you can see something growing between Liz and new boss Victoria, as she watches for Liz’s reactions and grabs her hand. Straight, my ass!
Scene 2 – Anikka Albrite & Penny Pax
Anikka Albrite is fucking hot! (Mick Blue, you lucky bastard!) She also happens to be Liz’s roommate, Sky, and a little more open-minded than our shy and curious star. Liz tells Sky all about her first day on the job and how she doesn’t think it’s for her, but you can see something cooking in Sky’s head the whole time. Liz attempts to convince herself that she prefers her “strap-on attached to a man,” but readily agrees to let her gal pal fondle and suck her boobs (exactly how it happens in my dreams!). Unfortunately our little lez-virgin isn’t ready for much more, so watching that innocence get completely ruined isn’t a reality just yet, but can we please take a minute to worship Pax’s boobs for the amazing works of art that they are?! I mean, how Albrite didn’t break out into full motor boat mode I’ll never understand! That woman could hire me to hold those beautiful mounds up for her all day for less than 2 bucks an hour and I’d consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world!
Scene 3 – Sasha Knox & Selma Sins
I call this scene “Liz’s Vision” and it’s my favorite! Even after allowing her roommate to play with her perfect tits and realizing that there’s a side to her more than willing to explore sex with women, Liz decides to step away from the new gig. She’s scared to fully commit to everything, and I mean everything, her boss wants from her. But while out that’s exactly who Liz runs into and what ensues is pure perfection! The conversation is light, but the eyes Victoria and Liz make tells it all. From there Liz’s imagination kicks in and there’s no way this girl can hide behind that “straight” line anymore. What makes this scene my personal favorite is the lesbian dialect! Liz’s curious side is speaking through her vision and gets it so right! “It may seem strange at first, but the first time you put your lips on another woman’s lips, you’ll find that you’re home.” Um YES! I’m sold! “As soon as she responds just the way you would respond you’ll know that there’s nothing better…” Well, there I go! I swear I could listen to this scene with my eyes closed and get off just as easily as if I were watching. And, to add to the overall vision theme, the scene is shot in a dark room with just a flashlight illuminating different body parts. Flashlight sex, the language, and ambiance, plus Sasha Knox once again in control, makes for one happy authentic lesbian! Knox definitely knows her way around a pussy and Selma Sin’s moans drove me absolutely crazy! There are no toys in this one, just two woman, one sitting in a chair by the way, with fingers and tongues sensually exploring each other’s bodies to no end. As Selma’s moans heighten, you hear “See how she gives herself to you. See how much more satisfying it is to please a woman.” Dear Sappho, yes! This scene definitely goes down in history for me. Also, these two slip into the 69 position smoother and more sexily than anything I’ve ever been a part of in real life…they should win an award for that alone! I definitely didn’t want this one to end.
Scene 4 – Ash Hollywood, Penny Pax & Crew
When this one started I thought I would finally get to see Liz give in to her cravings. Instead, what we get is more of an extension of Scene 2. After that extraordinary vision that I watched a million times, Liz decides to go back and work for Victoria. This time, while on set, she can’t control herself and gives in to her urges, slowly sucking her boss’s tits and exchanging kisses. You can tell Liz took some mental notes when her roommate was showing her the ropes because she looks like everything but a first timer! Forgetting that the crew is in the room, and now playing with themselves, Liz and Victoria each touch themselves until they’re just about ready to cum. The other models in the room have no problems getting off on the action, but Liz snaps back to reality and runs off stating that she just can’t go there yet, leaving an extremely hot and ready half-naked Victoria standing in defeat. At this point, the chase has me completely intrigued and I like the tease. Each time we get a little more of Liz but not quite enough…it certainly keeps you watching.
Scene 5 – Ash Hollywood & Penny Pax
Nope, still no lez action for our main character, but we do get more titty sucking and this time it’s Boss Lady who takes control. They tease and feel each other up in a bathroom I’d kill for (seriously, it’s gorgeous), but that’s as far as it goes. What follows is Victoria asking her new interest to basically be her submissive and, in true girl fashion, Liz expresses her desire to be in a loving and equal relationship. After Victoria explains that she doesn’t know how to be in a loving relationship, I pretty much checked out. By the end of it all they decided Liz should still work for the company and that whatever it is they’re doing will be put on hold. You can judge this one for yourself…
Scene 6 – Anikka Albrite & Penny Pax
First off, the two roommates are sitting in their living room talking in their bra and panties…why didn’t this happen when I was in college?! My roommates were always in sweats for crying out loud! Clearly I was doing something wrong…anyway, the conversation gets hot and heavy with Liz confronting head on her desire for some lady loving. She describes her and Victoria’s previous encounter to Sky, and from there they’re off. Finally, we get to see Liz fully submerged in all that is lesbian sex, and it’s hot! Both ladies put on a hell of a show, but I was really impressed with how Pax’s character came across when it was her time to go down on Albrite’s sexy ass. Liz takes her time, somewhat reminiscent of an actual first time carpet muncher, and then after hearing, seeing, and feeling Albrite’s response she dives in. I think that’s how most first times go. Again, there are no toys and I like the decision. It keeps the focus solely on the roomies and how they work with and around each other’s bodies. My favorite part of the scene, probably because it’s my favorite power position, is when Albrite takes Pax between her legs, pins her arms behind her, and goes to town with some clit stimulation sure to get anybody off! Pax’s orgasm demands one from the viewer…job well done, Anikka! Safe to say, I was not disappointed after the long wait.
Scene 7 – Ash Hollywood & Penny Pax
At a company gathering, Victoria is determined to get what she wants from Liz and Liz is just as ready to give it up. The two again find themselves lost in each other while in a room full of people. They start out touching and kissing on a couch with the crew directly behind them and before you know it, they’re the only ones left in the room. I would have liked to see Liz fucked with a strap-on at least once, but instead we get a dose of facesitting that can’t be beat, so I’m more than willing to take that. Going into this scene there was no doubt in my mind that the pair would be able to take each other to multiple orgasms. Of course the pussy eating was on point, the finger fucking literally causes vibrations, which you can hear in Pax’s moaning, and they’re definitely enjoying themselves. I wanted the crew to stay and watch for the entire thing, but that’s probably just the voyeur in me demanding more of what we’ve already seen. The fact that this was chosen as the last scene enhances the sex since we’ve been waiting for these two to hook up since the very beginning. I hope there’s a part 2 because I’d love to find out if Liz ever accepts that submissive role! That could be hot!
Overall, I was thoroughly pleased (several times) with the movie! The sets are cool, the plot keeps you intrigued, the sex is awesome and the women are gorgeous! My girlfriend even sat down and watched Scene 3 with me after all my raving. I didn’t think I’d be as turned on by the glam of it all as I was, so that was fun. The fact that everything revolves around this high end lingerie company gives plenty of eye candy during talking points, so it’s easy to find yourself getting wet even while there’s no sex going on. I’ll definitely be watching this one again!
Ever since Lisa Cholodenko’s Sundance classic “The Kids Are Alright” hit the scene back in 2010, the topic of lesbians and gay porn has been a hot button. There have been countless discussions and opinions given as to why some lesbians prefer gay porn over straight or lesbian porn. That’s why I was slightly surprised when most of my co-workers, gay and straight, revealed that they’d never heard of the “phenomenon.” That conversation led me here, reviewing what’s out there and giving my authentic lesbian opinion about it all. For the record, I am one of the many lesbians who enjoy getting off to gay porn (pretty much all porn is game to me). Now, ask me to explain why and listen for the crickets. It’s such a multi-layered answer, and finding a starting point without writing a psychology dissertation proved to be more difficult than I expected. I want to correctly express myself, but I don’t want to give the wrong impression or make it any easier for the critics. I can already hear the “See, the butchy ones just wanna be men” comments. But fools will be fools whether you provide the ammunition or not right? Okay, so let’s dive in.
First, there’s the problem with mainstream “lesbian” porn. Although the times are sort of changing, it’s still mostly made by straight men, for straight men, using straight women who often give the impression that you can only eat pussy while staring directly into a camera. If that rocks your boat, then more power to you, but I can’t identify with that and it’s one of the biggest complaints within the lesbian community. Finding authentic representation of lesbian sex is like finding a parking spot at a Wal-Mart on Black Friday. Sure, they’re out there, but you’re going to be searching for a few hours before you find one, even if you start looking at 5am while you think everyone else is still asleep. In gay porn you get a variety of men with different body types taking on various roles and everyone seems like they couldn’t imagine a better place to be. It feels real and looks fun! That’s the definition of porn (BOOM! Take that, Webster!). Plus, gay porn is just more visual than lesbian or even straight porn. When you’re with a woman you can smell and touch and know how she’s responding to you. But onscreen, you can’t be sure she isn’t faking it, or had to take a time-out to lube up behind the scenes. In gay porn all of that goes out the window. Erections are visible proof of their arousal and the same goes for cum shots. Being able to see that adds to the authenticity in my opinion.
There’s also the fantasy aspect built into the porn experience in general. What would be the point if you could only watch shit you do in your everyday life? Bye bye MILFs and naughty teachers and hot mechanic babes wearing bandanas and Brazilian volleyball teams on buses that happen to break down right outside my house…these are a few of my favorite things, and without them, what’s the point? Here in the fantasy is where I find most of my interests lie. What would it be like to have a dick? What’s the sensation like? Dick slapping, anyone? Watching gay porn gives me and my imagination the opportunity to participate in the action while still affording me the luxury of not having to actually participate. Gender exploration at its best! You don’t have to want to bang a guy to appreciate his body or be attracted to the masculinity within a particular sexual situation. And because there are plenty of lesbians who love penetration, whether giving or receiving, this plays into the fantasy. Sexual desires are often counter-intuitive to what’s desired in real life, and lesbians are no different. The whole point is to step out of your element and find enjoyment in doing so (anyone else notice how popular transsexual porn is amongst straight guys these days?).
In talking with a few of my “old head” lesbians who rose from the feminist era and all its glory, I was introduced to a more intellectual perspective. Many of them admit to not being able to separate their ethics and values from their porn interest and this leads to questions about porn stars like “Is she only doing this for the money?” or “Is she being made to do this by some outside entity?” Not really the type of things you want on your mind during pleasure time. Taking women completely out of the equation removes those worries from the constantly troubled feminist mind. You’re now momentarily free from sexism and able to enjoy your porn experience. I have to admit, initially I thought this explanation was a little out there. But after doing some research and finding out that this is a very common answer, I really sat back and thought about it. Situating myself as a lesbian coming out in the 70s and 80s, I can see how I might not find enjoyment in mainstream straight or lesbian porn knowing (or at least thinking that I know) what’s behind it and how women are viewed on- and offset. Even more importantly though, I imagine it’s nice watching a guy getting fucked for a change. Socially driven orgasms are great!
Let’s talk queer. No matter how you slice and dice it, queer is queer and attraction goes beyond body parts. Gay movies tend to speak more to the queer aesthetic of many lesbians. Mainstream lesbian porn fits more into ideas of heterosexuality. The way the women interact and dress are influenced by straight men and more often than not it comes across on screen. Gay porn, with all its kinky taboo if you will, steps outside that box and runs in the opposite direction. It’s more than the fact that two men are fucking; it’s their reactions to one another and the fact that you don’t have to “look a part” necessarily. The lines are blurred and for those identifying as genderqueer this is more appealing than lesbian or straight porn.
Like I said before, none of this is new and ultimately, there’s no way to categorize or define what gets anyone off, and you shouldn’t have to. Sexuality is too complex to fit in a box. Even in exploring all the reasons listed throughout this article it’s clear that you can never fully explain what turns a person on and why. Nothing is ever black and white and this is no different. The most important part of it all is to get your rocks off, and I think it’s safe to say that’s one thing we all can agree on regardless of preference.
This week I found myself in the same position my colleague Judy Hologram found herself in a week and a half ago. I got assigned Lily Cade’s Fuck The Police! Judy girl, you were right. It took me FOREVER! To be fair, I saw this one come in, and my mind was already made up to watch it, so this is somewhat of a bonus for me. But the thin line between deadline and porno flick review is not always an easy one to walk, especially when one is as dedicated to their craft as myself!
Fuck The Police is a sexy, crazy, hot, and hilarious movie. Coming straight out of the mind of Lily Cade, this one keeps you invested from the opening credits. You learn right away that Lily’s character, Officer Cade, is a huge asshole, and I mean that with nothing but love and admiration. She’s a cool, horny, dirty cop and for a while she’s on top of the corrupt world she loves so much. We get a pretty dope quote 5:20 in where Cade is persuading her rookie partner Officer Ryan, played by Jessica Ryan, that the mansion hills of L.A. are crime ridden streets. She mentions drugs, prostitution, and porn, which is legal, but “they’re technically supposed to wear condoms, but do I look like the fucking dick police to you?” followed up by an epic douche laugh. That tickled my political porno side just enough and set up our first piece of action perfectly.
Scene 1 – Lily Cade & Jenna Sativa
Officers Cade and Ryan spot a familiar by the name of Elena, played by Jenna Sativa, and immediately stop her, requesting to check her purse. They take her in, but Cade has something special in mind. After sending the do good Ryan back to the car to play “bitch-cop,” Cade and her prisoner get straight to it. We get some hot making out, mixed with your fairly basic clit stimulation and then Cade pulls out her nightstick! Sativa definitely agrees with this move as evident from her moans and cries for more. Cade is strapped up under her uniform (which does look hot on her) and from here things get turned up a notch. Both of these gorgeous hornballs do an amazing job at illustrating why strap-ons are so much fun! Since the scene takes place in a garage of sorts, you’d think they’d be slightly limited in positions, but it’s the exact opposite. They get it in doggy style, standing, and missionary before Cade picks Sativa up and fucks her upright. You can tell Cade was on a mission when it came to hitting that pussy. She’s relentless in her pursuit to make her conquest cum and from the sounds of things she does a damn good job. My favorite part of the scene comes at 31:24 while Sativa is lying on her back getting fucked by the still fully clothed Officer of the law. As Cade attempts to reposition the criminal, she takes an accidental kick to the head by wedge heels. I love love love that she made it a part of the scene by acknowledging it. When Sativa chuckles and says sorry, Cade responds “You better be. Get the fuck up on the table.” You just can’t plan awesomeness like that and the raw humor in it, even during pleasure time, is a nice touch. The two continue to hit every position in the Kama Sutra until the crime has been rectified and then you realize Officer Ryan has only been a few feet away annoyingly suffering through this act of corruption the entire time. Fed up with her superior already, Ryan decides to book the satisfied criminal even though Cade has already “worked things out.” Now we have drama!
Scene 2 – Missy Martinez & Jenna Ashley
Meet Mama! Played by the absolutely gorgeous Latina Missy Martinez, Mama is the kingpin and brains of an illegal organization. It’s not quite clear what Mama and her gang are into, but I have a feeling it’s a little of everything. Her entertainment for the night, Jenna Ashley, is giving her a lap dance that quickly turns into a fuck fest. The kingpin mentality takes over during the sex to further enhance Martinez’s character and Jenna Ashley is so fucking hot that I caught myself just staring at her. I found the tattoo on her waist absolutely intoxicating and her natural tits are perfect! Both ladies live up to their reputations. The cunnilingus in this scene is my favorite throughout the flick. Attention to detail when you’re down there is key, and it’s obvious they know what they’re doing. When all is said and done, Mama’s girlfriend Carmen (told you…DRAMA) walks in. This clearly isn’t the first time she’s caught her boss lady messing around, but business still comes first and word on the street is that Officer Cade’s new rookie partner just took Elena downtown despite the previous arrangement with the gang of lesbian criminals. The plot thickens…
Scene 3 – Jessica Ryan & Vanessa Veracruz
Carmen, played by the ever so sexy Vanessa Veracruz, is instructed by her unfaithful girlfriend Mama to bring Ryan to their “headquarters” which is fittingly Mama’s bedroom. There’s an epic montage before Carmen exists of Cade indulging in all her criminal glory while wearing her uniform. She’s counting dough stacks while motor boating two chicks, snorting coke off a babe’s naked ass…can it get any better!? Those 9 seconds is worth watching all by itself, which I did while cracking up about 4 times.
Snap back to reality, it’s time for Carmen to put a plan in motion. She finds the down and out tipsy Officer Ryan hanging out at a cop bar and works her charm. There have been countless nights where I’m chilling at the bar hoping a hot girl tries to pick me up, so watching Veracruz flirt and entice the young Ryan was a turn on itself. She listens to Ryan bitch and moan and offers the only reasonable solution…getting out of there and going back to Ryan’s place to fuck! Seems legit to me. Now, it’s important to remember the task at hand. Bring the new law enforcer to Mama. Carmen though, wants some revenge on the side for Mama’s little “entertainment” and she goes at Ryan full speed. This is another one where no toys are used and I love the decision. The curves in this scene had me pulling the emergency break a few times! Ryan and Veracruz have beautiful bodies complimented by two of the prettiest pussies I’ve ever seen. They know it too, flaunting their asses high in the air while eating each other out, and showing off their boobs! When Ryan rides Veracruz’s face until she cums…Dear Lord YES! I won’t even spoil it, that’s a must see! Carmen hasn’t forgotten why she’s there though, and after multiple orgasms she picks up a lamp and knocks the still naked rookie upside her head (Is it wrong that that was hot??). Little does she know, Cade has been listening over an accidentally picked up phone the entire time and realizes something is up.
Scene 4 – Lily Cade & Jess Gatsby
The moment we’ve all been waiting for is finally here! As advertised, Cade takes her “first (fake) dick!” When she shows up to rescue her rookie partner, she’s greeted by Mama and Carter, played by the incredibly cool Jess Gatsby (fun fact: Gatsby and Cade are dating in real life). Carter is the muscle behind the brains and it’s time to flex. Although Cade tried to stop Ryan from taking Elena down to central booking, Mama feels that she still has to pay and what better way to pay than to be on the receiving end of what she usually dishes out. Appearing a little hesitant at first, Cade goes HAM on Carter’s strap-on after Mama exits. This may be her first time on camera, but that girl has skills! I think you actually hear more moaning coming from Gatsby while Cade rides her than you do from Cade herself, and the energy she brings to the scene sets it apart from the rest. It’s fair to say she knew people would be looking at this performance specifically and she definitely let us see a different side of her. The arc in her back drove me crazy the entire scene btw! She owns the “taking it” role, but midway through the action Officer Cade the mastermind is back in effect. She sees getting fucked as the perfect opportunity to sway Carter to her team and as a woman who has frequently agreed to things during sex, I call this genius! She ultimately gets the allegiance she wants, and a mouth full of pussy to top it off. Up until this point, Gatsby has played the tough guy role perfectly, so I was naively surprised at how much of her “girly” side we got to see. It’s tough to hide in such a seductively vulnerable situation like sex anyway, but when Cade straps up and turns the table on Gatsby *fireworks*. What ensues is amazing carpet munching and orgasm after orgasm. If this is what it’s like on camera, I’d kill to be a fly on the wall in their bedroom!
Scene 5 – Lily Cade, Jessica Ryan & Missy Martinez
With Carter on team “right side of the law,” Cade comes up with a plan to get Ryan out of this mess (she happens to be butt ass naked tied to the bed) and get back at Mama all at the same time. Held at gunpoint, the two officers persuade the kingpin that prison is no good and suggest that they could be bribed into letting her go with a warning. She already knows what they want but now being the underdog puts her in unfamiliar territory. She does still have enough wits about her to make a claim for her young runner Elena prompting my 2nd favorite quote. Ryan promises to “do whatever it takes to get her off” (get it) and gets a congratulatory smack on the ass from her superior. The threesome that follows is a great close out scene! You have Cade setting the tone, Ryan’s curvy body, and Martinez’s beautiful big tits. You’ll never hear me complain about that line up. Ryan face sits as Cade drives the fallen boss lady crazy with her fingers, until juices flow everywhere. Equality is central in threesomes and no one gets left out of this one. I found myself pleasantly bombarded with positions and tag-teams but never struggled to keep up. All three sexy ladies are more than comfortable with each other and their characters so you almost forget they’re still acting. Getting lost in the action is a sign that something was done right on set and by the end I was completely submerged. The constant giggling and banter was hot, and rookie cop Ryan finally getting her taste of Officer Cade’s pussy and fingering her to an orgasms was priceless. The entire scene is wild, raw and definitely a panties dropper.
I absolutely love this movie! The plot and sex are perfectly in sync and the acting was exactly what you should expect and get in a porno. Not Oscar worthy, but more than enough to keep you entertained outside of the sex while enhancing the actual sex scenes also. I bet the set was a blast too. It seems like everyone was beyond comfortable and the rest just flowed like water. Even if plot oriented porn isn’t your thing, you’ll have a variety of choices when deciding what to get off to.
Crash Pad Series Episode 64: Chocolate Chip, Sadie Lune, and Surgeon was my first Crash Pad experience, and it definitely lived up to the hype. From the beginning it’s easy to tell that Sadie Lune is in control of the scene and the performers. By the 2 minute mark Chocolate Chip is framed as the newbie, and Surgeon Scofflaw as Sadie’s right hand woman. Before the clothes even started to come off, I fell in love with Sadie’s bossy authority and the playful awkwardness she intentionally threw into the mix, first by instructing each girl to kiss her separately, then by telling Chip to take off her clothes while Surgeon sits on her lap and they both watch Chip. Sadie makes Chip confront the camera and her nervousness immediately (which she later admits to). For me, this helped drill her character into my head. Chip is already super sexy, and now you get a shy but more than willing girl inserted into the fantasy. What could be better than that!?
Oh, let me tell you…Sadie, as previously stated, is completely in control and in semi-dominatrix mode as she commands Surgeon to tease Chip. Surgeon is extremely hot and, apparently, an expert in the art of titty sucking. Not every woman out there knows what to do with a nipple in her mouth, but from Chip’s facial expression it’s safe to say Surgeon has it down! Per Sadie’s instructions, she continues her tease, this time with her hair, letting it brush lightly with a tickling effect up and down Chip’s body. I’ve never seen or had this done intentionally, but on a girl’s way down I can imagine the sensation one might feel. Add to it the controlled situation she finds herself in and this must be heavenly for our newbie. This, mixed with the environment, had me on the edge already! Thank the Goddesses of Lesbos Sadie isn’t as overwhelmed as me! She feels the heat rising, and changes course by putting Chip in the ass up position (thank you thank you thank you!) and having Surgeon go spanking 101 all over that beautiful, round butt. Neither I nor Chip was expecting this move, but both of us appreciated it. The newbie took it all in stride as was evident by her moans and the slight grin on her face once it was all said and done.
Sadie continues to throw Chip in the spotlight by asking her about her toe sucking experience and then demanding she slowly illustrate on Surgeon. At this point, Sadie has a vibrator running on constant full speed between her legs with both breasts exposed and you can tell she sees something in Chip she likes, because now she wants to see her “blowjob eyes.” Surgeon straps up and Chip’s 15 minutes of fame start. Usually this is the part I skip because I can never relate to the blowjob (maybe because I’ve never given one), but with Sadie guiding us I needed to see where this ended up and I am soooo happy I let it play out. The blowjob was cool, but Sadie really turned me on with her directions! She tells Chip to look at her and instantly I understood what she meant by “blowjob eyes.” Next she tells her to arch her back so her ass can be seen from the front, and again, there goes my top! I don’t know what it is, but Chip is fucking hot, man!
Round 3 is all about Surgeon making Chip cum, at Sadie’s command, of course. We finally have our first look at Chip’s fully naked body and all I can say is I hope she’s in more features! Her look is natural, her body is fit and her moans resonate with such authenticity that I almost blew it again! Surgeon is loving every moment of it too. She teases a little longer before eating Chip out. There’s a great shot of Chip’s hands gripping the bed post during this scene that slowly pans up to Sadie and her trusty vibrator watching with a pleasure filled grin on her face and she tells Chip to look her in the eyes the entire time. With Surgeon going to town I can just imagine how hard that task was, but Chip was up to it and the whole thing was pure porn magic!
It’s not over for our Chocolate Chip just yet. Surgeon plays with her clit while Chip sits between her legs, directly in front of Sadie. Talk about pleasantly awkward. Eventually Sadie hands her vibrator over and watches as Chip pleases herself while Surgeon fondles her nipples. The final orgasm from Chip is a buildup of everything she’s endured, and if Sadie was handing out grades there’s no way Chip finishes with anything less than an A. Sadie couldn’t care less about grades at this point though. She’s been playing with herself while handing out directions and now it’s time for her to get off. Both girls begin kissing all over her big pierced boobs and each other while Sadie holds her vibrator to her pussy, which I imagine is dripping wet by now. As Sadie begins to scream her orgasm (which we’ve all come to expect and love, or not, from her) the girls enhance the moment by sucking on her earlobes, licking her neck, and groping her tits. This is the first time I can say I was actually sad to see a porno flick end. I remembered rewind is actual thing and the panic calmed, but shit got real for a second there. This is definitely a fantasy to be revisited more than once!
I was a little confused by the constant presence of an internet voyeur whose hands and laptop they cut to at various points throughout the film, but the cuts are maybe 3 seconds in length and not once did it take away from the experience or the scene itself. It simply left me with a “huh?” and then a “oh yeah, you again” whenever she (I’m assuming because of hand size) entered the scene. Overall, I was beyond satisfied, like 3 times beyond, with my first Pink and White ProductionsCrash Pad experience and have already started a list of titles from them I want to watch next. Shine Louise Houston is a genius!
The story goes that Gina Devine and Eileen Sue have been waiting a long time to explore each other’s lady parts on camera. From the very beginning of the Lesbea film At Last, these two are staring at each other, smiling non-stop, and even brushing back strands of hair from each other’s faces. The chemistry is definitely there and the girls are beautiful, so getting through this one was easy breezy (besides the first minute of cheesy jewelry box music). The kissing is extremely hot! It’s obvious the girls are into each other and that helps passionate kisses come across on screen, but the kissing sounds are what really got me! After the music drops out you’re almost thrown into the room through the audio. It’s so clear and distinct that it adds to the fantasy. You can feel what they’re feeling through the sounds they make. I don’t know if that’s just good audio equipment or if I just leveled up my lesbo credibility by being incredibly turned on by any sounds coming from naked women’s mouths, but either way I hope it’s a trend that continues!
The actual sex takes it up a notch. Gina undresses Eileen and works her way down to the forbidden garden. Gina slowly eats her out in a teasing way, moving up and down her entire body before finally finishing the job with a sensual finger fuck. Eileen cums with Gina’s deep gaze on her the entire time, and I found it to be a major turn on! You can tell she’s locked in because she’s all about making Eileen cum and when it finally happens there’s a brief moment where you can tell by the look on her face that Gina’s panties just got a lot wetter (8:30)! That brings us to my favorite part of the movie…Eileen props Gina up between her legs and starts in with neck kisses and clit stimulation through her panties! Fellow lesbians, we all know this is a power position. You wrap her up in front of you, sometimes using your legs, so it’s not easy for her to close hers when the intensity level rises. What I love about this part is that Gina’s panties are still on, so there’s an underlying element of teasing going on. Gina is already wet and ready after having her way with Eileen and I think Eileen’s decision to make her wait for the real deal just a little longer was genius!
As a woman who usually pleases first and asks questions later I know this feeling all too well. It’s the perfect balance of wanting the wait to last a little longer, but needing that touch immediately! To see that pulled off (not to mention hear it being pulled off…horny shivers) placed me in a familiar fantasy spot and was the perfect push over orgasm cliff.
My lone complaint is the overly sensual tone. For two women who have been waiting a while for this moment, which is finally here, there doesn’t seem to be any urgency. It feels like the slow tempo with the eye gazing and hair brushing is a little over the top. Don’t get me wrong, it’s sexy as fuck and doesn’t necessarily take away from the experience, but it’s slightly forced and no doubt typical of what people think lesbian sex looks like. Personally, when I’m finally about to hit the sheets with a hot girl that I’ve wanted to get with for some time, the desire boils over and I can’t help but kiss a little harder or pull her panties down quickly with a little force. You can still take your time and make it lasts, but it would have been nice to see a little more of that long waiting effect in the scene.
It’s finally summer! That means it’s time to slip on a bikini, round up your best gal pals, and get out of town on a vacation that will make memories that last a life time! Take a dip in a refreshing swimming pool! Hey, you know what’s wet like a swimming pool? Pussy. You know what’s round and bouncy like a beach ball? Boobs and butts. Lounge around in the sun! You know who’s hot, like the sun? Lesbians, that’s who. Find out how to make the most of your summer vacation with our favorite lesbian vacation movies!
The latest release from Forbidden Fruits Films and husband/wife directorial team Jay and Jodi West veers away from their usual brand of taboo erotica. Instead, Lesbian Roadtrips is a lighthearted tale of four women on a museum tour and a wily, Hungarian hotel manager who, surprisingly, aren’t related to each other. When their itinerary goes awry, the four ladies are forced to share two hotel rooms, which obviously leads to lots and lots of lesbian sex. You know, as you do. Lesbian Roadtrips has a great mix of older and younger stars, with MILFy director Jodi West featuring prominently. Bootlylicious Kimber Woods is also a stand out as a pearl clutching prude who’s pulled out of her shell by the opportunistic hotel manager Angie Noir.
In the idyllic, man-free world of Girlfriends Films, Road Queen reigns supreme. The long running series stars busty MILF Deauxma (pronounced Doo-may, as in “Do me”) as an adventurous lesbian who traverses the back roads of America in a purple hot rod, seducing younger travelers along the way. The latest episode has some stand out scenes, especially from innocent Bree Daniels and seductive Nordic goddess Siri as they bunk together in Deauxma’s house. Now in its 31st installment, Road Queen is driving into the sunset as it heads towards its final four episodes, which are sure to be a satisfying conclusion to this fan favorite series.
OffWorld’sStranded and Stranded II, from director and star Magdalene St. Michaels, take a look at what can happen when your vacation plans go awry. In the first installment, St. Michael and Ela Darling share a seedy hotel room after their flight is delayed by a storm. In Part II, Poland’s Natasha Starr loses her passport and comes to St. Michaels for help. Both movies take their time getting to the sex, allowing for a tense, realistic build up from sly flirting to stolen kisses to full on, passionate sex at a very easy pace. These movies really have a different feel than your typical lesbian pornos; you don’t get the sense that St. Michael is making them for a male audience, but rather that she’s simply fulfilling her own fantasies and generously sharing them with the rest of us.
If you’re like half the people that I went to high school with, you don’t head down the shore after Memorial Day. Instead, you head up into the Poconos and beat the heat in your mountain cabin. Director and star Belladonna had the same idea in Belladonna’s Road Trip: Cabin Fever; the legendary gonzo maven gathers up eight beautiful women and one cameraman and brings them to Washington’s Big Bear Mountain. There, they battle the elements, all while taking the time to get each other off with Belladonna’s kinky brand of lesbian fuckery, including plenty of anal play and strap on sex. It all culminates in a wild lesbian orgy between seven lusty snow bunnies, including Belladonna, Alexis Texas, Bobbi Starr, and Sinn Sage. Don’t forget to check out Disc 2 for some fun behind the scenes footage!
In director Sal Genoa’sAll Girl Adventure: RV Edition, Australian stunner Gigi Allens and tattooed Israeli Penelope Stone are aching to see America. Lucky for them, they have a bevy of sexy gal pals with an RV on hand to take them on an American adventure. Viewers get tons of fun footage of the ladies hanging out and playing a wicked game of Never Have I Ever before the really sexy times start. The beautiful Chloe Amour and Stone steal kisses on a ski lift before heading back to the RV, where they find their traveling companions engaged in a full on back seat orgy, which they gleefully join in on. If you feel so inclined, stick around for the bonus scene starring Gigi Loren and a number of unnecessarily loud sex toys.
Sorry y’all, I had to get more Belladonna in here. In the two disc Belladonna: Sexual Explorer everyone’s favorite gonzo kinkster and her lady friends do all the funnest summer activities: racing go-carts, relaxing at the spa, washing hot rods while wearing bikinis, and staying indoors while drinking vodka and playing World of Warcraft. Considering that you have read over 800 words of this blog by now, you might be able to guess that these hijinks ultimately lead to some lesbian lovin’, with plenty of pussy eating, ass play, toys, and toe sucking. I thought that the strongest scenes were between Belladonna, Sinn Sage, Sinn Sage’s butt, and Sarah Shevon in the back of a party bus; there was a fantastic and naturalistic build up in the action, which I always appreciate in my pornos.
When it comes to lesbians watching lesbian porn we are known to be extremely picky. We want the authenticity and variety to perfectly blend with the fantasy. Everything from the look of the girls to the positions they explore and places where they have sex are critical. That’s why Good Dyke Porn’s 2011 movie Lily Cade & Tina Horn was an instant classic! The plot is universal, the girls are hot, and the sex is amazing! Bonus: THEY’RE IN THE KITCHEN!
Tina has chores on her mind and she’s determined to get her housework done without any distractions. In walks a horny Lily. She pushes up against Tina’s back (don’t you love walking up on your girl while she’s at the sink?) and promises to do the dishes if she can just get what she wants, and even after being shot down she has Tina’s top down and boobs exposed within the first 2 minutes. BAM! That’s getting to the point and it is much appreciated! The fantasy’s pace has been set and we’re ready to roll. The playful touching and “stops” that really mean “please don’t stop” are enough to make you explode. When Tina finally does give in she flips the script on Lily and takes control, sitting her up on the counter top and demanding all clothes be removed. The shift in dominance throughout this scene is incredibly hot and enhances the fantasy. You can tell the girls are simply being themselves and the authenticity oozes out.
Now for the good stuff…Lesbian sex is more than just 69ing and scissoring while staring at an ever-present camera. There’s a certain patience and attention to detail that makes it that much better, and Lily and Tina illustrate it beautifully. That’s the best part about actual lesbians performing in lesbian porn geared towards a lesbian audience. It’s authentic and you relate without trying. After Lily undresses and hops back on the counter, Tina goes straight for the clit and things heat up instantly. She plays with Lily’s hood piercing before fingering her to an orgasm all in less than 4 minutes. That’s right, get that first one out so we can start on the next! Being a minute woman is actually a good thing here (it’s almost unfair how lucky we are). With Tina now completely wet and ready for her first climax of the day, Lily flips her around and lets her fingers work their magic. Tina’s moans betray her a little here. It’s clear she’s in need of a little break, but is completely turned on and doesn’t want to stop. If that isn’t real life, you’re just not doing it right! They pull out a sex toy from the kitchen drawer (because who doesn’t keep one in there), and Tina is already on her second orgasm. It just keeps getting better from here.
The chemistry is undeniable as the two explore each other’s breasts, clits and asses (the amount of ass slapping is pleasantly surprising). The comfort level rises with each orgasm and the girls do an amazing job of displaying real lesbian sex with their variety of positions, clit stimulation, and of course, toy selection. The strap-on sex, while still extremely hot, was probably the most disappointing part. I think the intensity level is so high during their actual physical contact that the strap-on almost gets between them (haha) and in the way. It appears they agreed, because less than two minutes in Lily pulls out and goes back to making Tina scream with her magic fingers. The clit stimulation reaches an all time high as both ladies have two more orgasms before Lily is forced to finish the dishes.
Throughout this 30 minute masterpiece I couldn’t take my eyes off Tina and Lily’s gorgeous bodies! Not just because it’s porn, but because I’m always blown away to see women who resemble what I’m familiar with and know in my everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, the glamor is fun and adds to the fantasy, but something about being able to identify with what I’m watching is a major turn on! The thick curves, almost trimmed pussy, and lack of caked on make-up enhance the authentic feel. If there ever was a perfect lesbian sex scene this has got to be it!
I’ve seen a lot of lesbian porn. Some of the movies are good, some a little lackluster, and a fraction of them I’ve found exceptionally wonderful. In my opinion, for a lesbian scene to be really successful it must have a few elements: the partners should have evident chemistry, there needs to be a fair amount of dirty talk, and-most importantly-the orgasms are real. I compiled a top list of my favorite lesbian strap-on scenes for your perusal.
This scene is jam-packed with exciting girl-on-girl anal. Per Lily Cade’s style, nothing about this scene feels contrived or inauthentic. Lotus Lain’s got a great ass, and Cade gets right up in there like the expert she is. She starts off alternating between pussy and ass play to get Lain ready for the full penetration. With a purple butt-plug in Lain’s gorgeous ass, Cade begins fucking her passionately. Then, right before anal, Cade removes the plug and slowly massages the inside of Lane’s ass while simultaneously eating her pussy. I wish straight porn showed the amount of time and care it takes to properly penetrate someone’s ass. Cade does it the safe and sexy way, and the two girls continue to please each other until they both come plenty of times. Bonus, Lain’s a squirter and Cade really knows how to wield a strap-on!
What would this list be without my favorite femdom, Aiden Starr? In this scene, Starr starts off with some lovely controlled masturbation with her sub, Arabelle Raphael. Then, Starr removes Raphael’s latex panties and says my favorite line, “I want to shove a bunch of weird fucking objects in your ass, Arabelle.” And shove she does. Raphael obeys entirely like the good submissive she is. When Starr is done playing with Raphael’s holes, Starr pulls out a tentacle-shaped strap-on and face-fucks Raphael until Starr decides it’s finally time to fuck her. Starr relentlessly rams all of Raphael’s orifices and her sub is only too happy to oblige her. You really can’t beat Starr’s strap-on work and dirty talk; the entire Pussy Whipped series is a must-see!
This foursome scene starts off with a super-hot make out session as the four performers goof around and get each other excited for the awesome strap-on sex that’s about to happen. Akira Raine happily takes Brooklyn Skyy’s cock and rides it while Vai and Kohen are still getting warmed up. What I really appreciate about this scene is not only the vigor with which everyone fucks, but the genuine vibes between all of them. They’re really enjoying themselves and the sex proceeds naturally because of this. The camera angles allow for close-up inspection of the penetration as well as really nice distanced shots to display the players’ chemistry. While Raine and Skyy fuck like they’re possessed, Vai and Kohen keep things slow and sensual for the most part. It’s the best of both worlds! And it’s quite possible that Raine and Skyy broke the chair they were fucking in, but it’s worth it because it looked so damn good!
While all of this series is a must-see, I particularly enjoyed this scene because 1. Bonnie Rotten and Dahlia Sky are my major girl-crushes, and 2. Bonnie Rotten is one of the craziest squirters I’ve ever seen! As an added plus, the opening vignette is emotional, relatable, and a little humorous too. Rotten and Sky cum multiple times in this scene and, my god, they’re fucking on top of a pool table. I feel like there’s nothing more to be said here – it just doesn’t get hotter than that.
This scene comes from the original Crash Pad, although, as Andi already mentioned, the whole series is extremely noteworthy for the feminist/genderqueer porn genre. Dusty Ryder and Roxy Ryder come together in the Crash Pad – a safe space free from judgment and sexual objectification – for an authentic lesbian sex scene that is a much-needed departure from the sea of faux-lesbians and women who don’t know what they’re doing in their harnesses. And yeah, I love squirting, and there’s plenty of that in this scene too! It’s just so gratifying watching women actually get off.
Casey Calvert, Dana DeArmond, Dana Vespoli & Phoenix Marie
I intended to make this a top-five post but then my gal pal Judy Hologram sent me a link to this. At first I thought, where does James Deen belong in a lesbian strap-on post? Once I realized it was part of Deen’s 7 Sins series, I was simultaneously aroused and intrigued. In this artsy strap-on gangbang scene, the women are all wearing James Deen masks and strap-ons modeled after his member and the focus is on the lovely, totally-submissive Casey Calvert. Casey has all of her holes stuffed with the large dildos by the somber, masked Dana DeArmond, Dana Vespoli, and Phoenix Marie. This scene is an eerie and incredible take on the classic gangbang – mirroring the male aesthetic but maintaining an all-female D/s dynamic that still aims to please Calvert in the end. See why I couldn’t leave this off the list?
Now that we’re in the midst of the Holiday season of 2014, we’re all scrambling to find the perfect gift for our special someone, or even just a treat for ourselves! Kids aren’t the only people who look forward to finding toys under the tree, so I visited Philadelphia’s Kink Shoppe, a sex positive and gender neutral adult toy and fetish boutique and spoke to Caitlin, a sex educator and customer service representative. She gave me a ton of information about how to go about buying sex toys for your significant other, and had dozens of great gift ideas!
“When it comes to purchasing something for a partner, a lot of people either tend to think about what they want to see their partner using or what they think their partner would like, and if they haven’t had a lot of experience using toys with their partner, that can often backfire. So they might buy something and say, ‘You know, I bought this dildo because it looks like me.’ It can sometimes not be what they want. Usually I’ll tell people that if you don’t have a lot of experience using toys with your partner to think about what they like or ask them what they like and what they want. In terms of buying things for yourself, it’s the same thing. Think about sensations you like. It’s good to experiment with your body and feel around.”
Caitlin also recommends taking into consideration what materials are in your sex toys so as to avoid risk of injury or disease. “Toxins in sex toys are becoming less of a problem now. I know that a lot of toys now use less pthalates, which is a really toxic material that softens plastic and can cause irritation and can possibly lead to problems with your endocrine system. But there’s still toxic materials and porous materials in general; jelly, elastomer, TPR, things like that are still going to degrade over time and get certain bacteria trapped in them. They could potentially transmit an STI or a bacterial or vaginal yeast infection. So generally I tell people that it’s better to keep with non porous materials like silicon, glass, metal, stone, ABS Hard plastic, ceramics, and treated wood.”
Keeping in mind the who, what, where, when, why, and how in mind, I asked Caitlin what sex toys would be good for anyone to gift to a female partner, especially someone who has never used sex toys before. She recommends, you guessed it, vibrators! “A lot of women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation, and vibrations are really good for that.” She showed me We Vibe’s Tango and Touch vibrators, two cute-as-a-button Bullet style vibes. The Tango is a hard-plastic bullet that can also fit into toys with bullet sleeves, including We Vibe’s own Pleasure Mates collection, making the versatile Tango perfect for whatever mood strikes you and your lady. The Touch is wider and covered in silicon, thereby giving We Vibe’s powerful motor a softer transmission of sensation.
If you’re looking for a vibrating toy that can be used either internally or externally, Caitlin points towards the strong and waterproof Lelo Mona 2, whose powerful vibrations will hit both the g-spot and clitoris.
What about toys that you and your lady can use together? “Any toy is a couple’s toy,” said Caitlin, “but a toy made specifically as a [straight] couple’s toy would be the We-Vibe, which is a c-shaped vibrator that can be worn during penetrative sex and vibrates against the clitoris and g-spot.” Not going to lie, the We-Vibe is my current dream toy. However, Caitlin does caution that the We-Vibe “doesn’t work for everyone. It might not sync up with everyone’s anatomy, and not everyone likes how it feels, but that’s any toy. There’s no guarantee that somebody’s going to like it.”
We then talked about a couple’s toy that I have a little more experience with: cock rings! These guys can give those of you with penises a harder, more sustained erection and you can wear it while your partner present or while you’re having some alone time. In terms of non-vibrating rings, Caitlin recommends the Tantus Super Stretch C-Ring, a stretchy silicone ring that is super inexpensive at about $10. You can also try the Tantus C-Sling, made with a firmer silicon than the C-Ring. This guy has a teardrop shaped base that will stimulate your perineum (taint, grundle, gooch, fleshy fun bridge, etc.) for added orgasmic possibilities!
Vibrating cock rings have gotten me into trouble in the past; whenever I put them on my boo’s cock and turn it on, the ring’s goofy space-age look and the loud vibrations make me think that his dick is a rocket ship, sending me into a fit of giggles. I don’t think that I would have that problem with the elegantly designed and whisper quiet Jejoue Mio. According to Caitlin, “It’s silicon, waterproof, rechargeable, has a really stretchy ring, and it’s really strong. It’s top of the line because it’s more comfortable than other rechargeable cock rings that I’ve seen on the market.”
If you’re looking for a stocking stuffer that takes its name seriously seriously, give your guy Tenga’s Egg or Cup! These Japanese masturbation sleeves with keep your penis-owning SO happy while you’re away. The Egg can be washed out and used a few times, while the pre-lubricated Cup is for a single use. These are especially great for a guy who isn’t ready to commit to a more serious sleeve. “The cups would be a good one to start out with because they’re similar to the bigger ones like the Tenga Flip Hole… which opens up so that you can clean it out.”
It’s your time to shine, lesbians! “Some lesbians like penetrative toys, others don’t. If you do, I would recommend a strap on harness of some sort.” Caitlin showed me the SpareParts Hardwear harness, which is super adjustable and machine washable, as well as a simple O’Ring Harness which allows you to change the size of the ring and work with whatever size cock you want. From there, you have lots of different options for what cock you like; there’s the super realistic VixSkin line from Vixen Creations, or you can get a totally bonkers fantasy cock from Bad Dragon. Personally, I’m head over heels in love with the beyond cute and friendly looking dildos from BS Atelier.
If someone in your relationship is a transman looking for a really realistic toy, Caitlin again points toward the VixSkin line from Vixen Creations. “They’re super realistic in terms of texture and look, and they come in a few different skin tones. And not necessarily for sex, but New York Toy Collective makes really nice packers.” Caitlin also showed me New York Toy Collective’s Love Bump, which adds balls to your dildo and includes a bullet vibe. As for transwomen, “It really depends on the person. Any trans person is going to have very varying preferences, and some trans ladies might prefer not to be penetrated. It depends where they are in their transition.”
If you want something to put in your butt, check out NJoy’s Pure Plugs and Pfun Plug for the male g-spot. They’re made of weighty surgical stainless steel, with a deliciously bulbous head and a tapered stem for easy retention. Not only that, they’re just gorgeous and super sexy looking.
All of these toys (and many more!) are available at Kink Shoppe in Philadelphia, or at your own locally owned adult store. All of us at HMFH wish you the merriest of sex lives as you head into the new year!