Happy Humpday! Welcome to the midweek stretch. We are back with another magical Humpday treat! If I actually sat down and did the math, I bet I could tell you exactly how many Link Loves I’ve shot on your face. Let’s see, I’ve been doing this for about 4 and a half years, with 52 weeks a year… bring out the calculator… hmmm, it looks I’ve brought you about 230 Humpday Link Loves! Pretty nutty bananas, wouldn’t you say? I guess there is no real reason to count them, other than to let you all know that we love bringing you the dirtiest news. You can tell by the sheer numbers. Anyway, enough babble – let’s get to it!
- Remember back in November when there was all that hoopla about Sasha Grey reading to elementary school students? Well, it’s back in the news again. Apparently porn studio Assence Films is releasing a scene featuring the now-retired star in their “Anal Artists” video this week, and in support of Sasha’s past efforts to get children to read, they tried to donate a portion of the film’s proceeds to National Education Association’s Read Across America program. Yeah, that didn’t go over too well… (via Jezebel)
Our first time swinging actually started out with a night out with a couple that were friends of ours. We were hanging out at our house and having a bonfire. All four of us had been drinking since early on in the evening. Travis was at one end of the front porch grilling and me and the couple, Tim and Lea, were on the other end of the porch listening to some music and telling stories and just a general fun time.
After eating, Travis pulled out the vodka and we started having shots. One thing Lea can’t handle is vodka shots. She was passed out within an hour. Meanwhile, me, Travis and Tim stayed outside on the porch listening to music and hanging out. I must have had way too much to drink myself, because we were sitting under the carport in front of my Expedition, and Travis asked me if I would do something for him. I said sure, and was utterly shocked when he said, “I want you to suck Tim’s dick for me.”
I don’t know who was more surprised, me or Tim! After a time making sure he was serious and not joking, I just said, “Sure, why not?”
Tim stood up, dropped his pants and stood in front of me. I looked at Travis, who was nodding his head, so I reached up and took hold of his cock with one hand and started slowly licking it up and down with my tongue. I kept looking from Travis to Tim’s face to see that everyone was ok with what was going on. I finally realized Travis was getting turned on by this, so I started really getting into it, licking from top to bottom and wrapping my lips around his cock watching it grow to its full 8 inches.
I took it into my mouth all the way to his balls and knew I had him from there. He had his head leaned back and was moaning and groaning, he took my hair into his hand and started pumping his cock into to my mouth, fucking my face as hard as he could. I felt him starting to get close, so I slowed down and looked back to Travis who was smiling at me telling me to keep going and swallow his cum.
Wanting to please my husband, I started back with vengeance, sucking and licking Tim’s cock until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Tim was hollering, “I’m gonna cum!” and I looked up into his eyes and told him I wanted to swallow his cum. That was enough for Tim to lose his load right there, so as he spasmed into my mouth. I kept my mouth around his cock and sucked every drop he had down my throat. As he was done, I started licking the head of his dick, making sure I got every last drop of his cum.
After he caught his composure, he looked over at Travis and said, “Man, I don’t know what I did to make you be such a great friend, but I sure did appreciate that!” Travis told him that was nothing, he should hang around for what was to come next.
While we all know how awesome and sexy porn can be, it’s also true that there are some porn flicks that are outright hilarious – and I’m not even talking about the action really. Today I am focused on the names. I’m not even sure I condone most of the stuff in these videos, but I do know that they have hilarious (and sometimes fucked up) titles. Hell, I might even post more than 5, just because I found so many!
Also, I decided that it would be more fun to show all the box covers bigger, rather than write about these flicks. Enjoy!
Hot Buttered Cop Porn
Cockamole On Her Face-A-Dilla Box Cover Cockamole On Her Face-A-Dilla
The Adventures Of Dickman And Throbbin
Lez Be Friends
Praise The Load
The Best Part Of Waking Up Is…Cuming In His Butt
I know this doesn’t even scrape the surface. What are your favorite ridiculous porno titles?
Welcome to Monday, folks. I hope you all had a lovely weekend filled with rest, relaxation and lots of porno. I am hear to ease you into the work week with a little shared masturbation advice. #4 is simply just a good reason as to why you should share your masturbation time. Regardless, I hope you enjoy.
1. Watch and learn: Here is your chance to see your partner in action. Watch their every move and see what gets them going. You may discover a few things that will help you do an even better job of getting them off. Do they favor one side of their clit? Do they go for long slow thrusts or short quick g-spot stimulating movements when playing with a dildo?
2. Give a little demonstration: Verbal communication is awesome and definitely gets it done in the bedroom, but sometimes it’s easier done than said. If verbalizing your preferences doesn’t come naturally to you, this is a good chance for you to simply show your boo what you like.
3. Direction: If you happen to be the opposite and love to chat and communicate, go ahead a give a little direction. It is fun to take control and give explicit instructions on exactly what it is that you would like to see. Your partner could very well enjoy acting out your every wish.
4. Remix: Like many things in the world of sex advice, shared masturbation is simply a good chance to change things up. There is nothing wrong with prying yourselves from each others’ orifices and letting the voyeur or exhibitionist in you do it’s thing. Watching and being watched can make things super intense and damn is it hot.
So, yesterday I wrote a post about ABC’s Nightlinefeaturing porn star James Deen on the show last night. While it’s true that he was on the show and all that, I was actually sorely mistaken when I said that finally the mainstream media would be talking about porn in a positive light. Clearly they aren’t ready to go there, because they couldn’t just have a news piece about James Deen – they had to make it a sensationalized scare piece to warm parents that their teenage daughters may have a new crush… a PORNO crush. Apparently Deen is such a super cute boy-next-door type that even the newly legal (and some underage) ladies are fawning over his blog, twitter, and yes, even his movies.
I’ll admit that I don’t have a television and didn’t have time to watch anything but the clip below, but I have to say that I am quite pleased with how James handled the whole affair. Not only was he gracious and charming as usual, he also told it like it is. He explained that sure, underage folks may be seeking him out, but really, if they are sexual enough to be finding his movies, they are probably mature enough to understand what porn is vs. real life. Sure, that may not always be the case, but I can definitely see where he has a point.* He also went on to say that he doesn’t actually encourage underage people to come to his site, but he can’t control it and doesn’t have much of an issue if they are there. He also mentioned that they should go turn 18 and buy porn. Oh James, you always speak such truth.
Have you ever seen that game online that shows you a bunch of pictures of toys and you need to choose whether they are baby toys or sex toys? No? Well, it’s pretty awesome, because sometimes it’s easy to tell which is which, and sometimes it’s not only damn near impossible to figure it out – I actually get them wrong! Why do I bring this up? Because this week’s reviewed toy, the Pop Plug, is the most toy-like sex toy I’ve ever seen.
Hot pink and shaped kind of like an over-sized pacifier, this silicone butt plug comes in three different sizes (small – 1”x 1 4/5”, medium – 1 ¼”x2 ½”, large – 1 ½”x 2 ½”). While they may be a little wide for some beginners, I’d say that all of these plugs are great for just starting to play with the butt. Their teardrop shape allows the narrow tip to easily slide into your asshole and then gradually get bigger and bulbous before returning to the narrowness of the neck that keeps it help securely in place. These plugs even have a ring molded into the silicone to make pulling it out as easy as possible. The ring is pretty much what makes me automatically think of pacifiers and rattles. What can I say, I’ve been working around dirty stuff so long that my mind has made it full circle back to being completely clean.
Unlike some sex toys, the Pop Plugs are most definitely non-threatening. If you are looking for a butt plug to introduce to a partner that may be anxious the booty, this would be a great option to offer up. And being silicone, this toy is 100% body safe and super easy to clean and sterilize. The satiny silicone makes the Pop Plug go in nice smoothly as well.
While both my partner and I are a little more advanced with the booty play, we still appreciated having a simple, easy-to-use toy. We got a medium plug to test out, which was a little on the small side, so we used it to warm up with before moving on to a bigger plug. The Pop Plug was a great opening act and stayed firmly in place as we worked ourselves into a more excited frenzy. Plus the ring made it super easy to pop out as we moved on to a bigger toy. All-in-all, the Pop Plug an awesome toy for those just starting out, more advanced anal adventurers, and everyone in between.
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow the RSS Feed and Twitter for updates.
Did you miss Pleasurists 165? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 167? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday February 5th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
*Pleasurists recently started accepting photo submissions for the art at the top of editions! For more information click here.
It seems like mainstream news media never wants to talk about porn unless it’s something bad – but not tonight! ABC’s Nightline is featuring none other than boy-next-door heartthrob James Deen.
Tonight at 11:35pm EST, ABC gets down and dirty with Deen, talking with him about the 4,000 movies he has starred in and the newer onslaught of younger female porn viewers.
Unfortunately neither of the HM4Her ladies have tv at home, but we plan to take a look online tomorrow and see what we can find. You should watch for us and comment about it below.
Yep, it’s that time again – when a giant rodent (um, I mean Groundhog) comes out of his hole, looks for his shadow, and predicts whether or not the winter will continue for longer. This yearPunxsutawney Phil, the Groundhog weatherman we’re talking about, came out and saw his shadow, which according to legend, means that we still have six more weeks of winter.
Though it may be 60 degrees right now here in Philly (which is about 6 hours away from Punxsutawney, where all this action happens), I am still outraged about that overgrown rat pushing my dreams of spring further away. But instead of wallowing, I figured I would make a prediction of my own… based on daydreams of seeing myself walking around in warmer weather. Spring is coming! And to illustrate my excitement, you should check out these outdoor porns!
You’re welcome. Time to break out the flip flops!
xoxo
-JD
Ps. Did you know that the place that Punxsutawney Phil makes his prediction is called Gobbler’s Knob. Yep, sometimes you don’t even have to bring the dirty – it’s already there.
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