While I’ll admit I do have a place in my heart for super fruity Sex On The Beach cocktails, I can’t say I feel the same way about the actual sexy act of screwing in the sand.  In fact, I pretty much have a strong aversion to any sex where unwelcome hangers on follow the pleasure train anywhere near my vag, and unfortunately, that’s what summertime outdoor sexin’ is to me.

I know, I know, getting’ busy in the great outdoors sounds like a fabulous idea.  And yes, in theory it is an awesome idea, but in practice there are some major logistical obstacles to navigate.  It may seem like I am being a Debby Downer, but try to think of me more as a Realistic Rhonda that wants to give you all the info before you end up with bug bites the size of silver dollars all over your bare bottom.

Luckily in the last few years we at HM4Her have written up some super helpful tips for getting through the summer with as few causalities as possible.  Check out our sage advice from summers past.

The Motion of the Ocean

Sex and water are one hot duo. Not only do you get that thrill of exhibitionism if you are in a public place (though try to keep it out of kid heavy areas, oh and um… it’s kinda illegal), you get to try out all sorts of new and exciting positions while you float nearly weightlessly through the water. Not too mention easy access through bikini bottoms and pulling the trunks down a bit! Tee Hee!

There is a little snafu though. It’s not the water that’s the problem, it’s what’s IN the water that makes for a questionable situation. Water than contains chlorine, salt, or bacteria can all pose risk of infection or irritation when it’s forced into the vagina during penetration and thrusting. That basically means all pools, lakes, oceans, rivers and Jacuzzis can mean risky business for getting down and dirty… um, literally.




Fun In The Sun

What are the two biggest things to remember when you’re doing strenuous activity in the hot summer sun? Stay hydrated and use plenty of sun block! Well, the same goes for getting busy on a sunshiney day. Make sure you have water on hand to keep the dehydration away and definitely go head to toe with the SPF! You really don’t want to have to explain to people why your ass is so sunburned you can’t sit down. Why not make the application part of the fun and rub each other down? It’s all about the protection, people. And let’s not forget about the bug spray…



My Name is Sandy… Sandy Vagina

Now, unless you go all out and super prepare for having sex on the beach, my two cents on the matter says don’t even bother. Sure it looks all romantic and swoony in the movies, but the cold, gritty reality is that sex on the beach means little grainy sand particles up in all your cervices. And I know I want nothing to do with that. The best way I’ve heard to combat the sandy dilemma is to go with a zippered sleeping bag. While it makes sense that most sand would stay out, I still see a few granules creeping in, so I’m a little hesitant. But for braver souls than I, definitely grab your camping gear out of the closet and hit the beach running.

Also, you are in public, no matter how secluded you think you are. If you’re planning to have sex on the sand, wear a dress and keep it on while you get it on. It’s way easier than having to scramble back into your sandy clothes if someone – particularly a cop – should wander your way.



Notes From Camp (by former HM4Her’er Essin’ Em)

First of all, may I please recommend you invest in a cheap air mattress. It doesn’t have to be fancy, even inflatable rafts will do. You’ll be very thankful I suggested this. No, really. The ground is HARD and air mattresses are also good for sleeping, as well as a sex-ing, so I give them a thumbs up.

As far as sleeping bags go, I thought I was pretty ingenious…I bought two cheap single sleeping bags and zipped them together to create a queen sized sleeping bag for the two of us to share. It was ideal both for sex and for cuddling without losing body heat to the cold outdoors. They make special “couples” sleeping bags, too. You can use your own personal bags as well — just think about how cold it’ll be at 11pm when you’re naked in the middle of the wilderness. Something to consider.

I’m speaking mostly about tent sex because I wasn’t ready to let spiders, ticks, or other creepy crawlies get anywhere near my vagina, and because I like to keep my vulva mosquito bite free. However, if you’re into to outdoor-outdoor sex, make sure you sprits on some bug spray (and perhaps sun block, depending on your timing) before you go at it, to protect yourself and your partner.




And Now For Some Brilliant Ideas!

- Ooooh, no air conditioning, huh? Not to worry, you can still fuck, though you’re slowly melting to death. Point a few fans on the bed and hop into the shower together on cold blast. Get started with a little hot foreplay in the freezing stream, then run back to the bed while you’re still shivering a little to get the full potential of the air from the fans hitting your dripping skin to keep it cold. Fuck. Rinse. Repeat.

- Or go straight to the source and fill a bowl with ice cubes. Run the little squares of delicious freezing over each other’s skin and enjoy the frigid thrill while you get decidedly unfrigid.

For more sexy summertime advice, take a look at our older posts!

xoxo
-JD

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