All posts by the porn librarian

Things I Learned From Porn

The time has come for this porn librarian to let down her hair and clock out for the last time.

It’s been an amazing six years, but all good things must come to an end, including my days here at HotMoviesForHer.com. It probably doesn’t surprise you to hear that working for a XXX company can be an interesting and informative experience and I thought I’d leave you with a list of things I learned working in porn.

– Every person has a doppelganger and that doppelganger is a porn star.

James Deen is in every porno made in the past five years.

– Every time the doorbell rings, there’s an opportunity to get laid.

– Never go to Germany. I’m sure it’s a lovely country, but if that place is 1% like the porn I’ve seen that’s shot there, it’s so not for me.

– Every precious childhood memory I have has been perverted including The Smurfs, Santa, Scooby Doo, Teddy Bears, Rubber Duckies, Alice in Wonderland, The Brady Bunch, Batman… Need I go on?

– A lot of new words.

– Vivid isn’t releasing any celebrity (and I use the word loosely) sex tapes that the D-Lister hasn’t signed off on. Read up on 2257 laws if you don’t agree.

– Lube is your best friend.

– Porn stars are people. I know this seems obvious to 99% of the people reading this, but I never really thought about it before spending time with the smart, strong women in this industry. I’s the one thing I always try to impress on people who ask questions about my job.

– Volume 54 is the tipping point for a XXX series. After that, it’s all down hill.

Nina Hartley gets hotter every year.

– Working in porn is still work. People are always really surprised to find out that we have meetings, spreadsheets, deadlines & bosses. After a night full of peddling smut, I totally have to fill out an expense report for the shots I did off of that girl from Slutty Seniors #47.

– A lot about cock. For a gold star lesbian, I have a vast wealth of knowledge regarding male genitalia.

And finally, I’ve learned that there’s a pretty rad community of people out there working to ensure the masses have access to great info about having a healthy sex life, regardless of what floats your boat. If you’re reading this, it’s likely you’re part of it, so thanks for that!

Thanks for the good times, pervs!

Girls Kissing Girls Volume Seven

Dylan Ryan & Samantha Ryan? Andy San Dimas & Dana DeArmond? Yes, please!

Girls Kissing Girls Volume Seven

The latest movie in my favorite Sweetheart Video series features some of my favorite mainstream ladies (along with queer heartthrob/crossover star Dylan Ryan) getting it on. It’s relatively standard fare, but the fact that it stars super hot ladies who really enjoy women makes it stand out in the genre.

First up we get San Dimas & Dearmond and, as these movies typically go, things start off slowly. They talk (?) and spend a lot of time making out, which is pretty damn sweet. By the time San Dimas goes down on her girl, you’l’l be ready for it! The two have a lot of fun kissing, fingering and fucking in this thirty minute scorcher.

The other scene worth mentioning is next, so don’t his pause or you’ll miss the Ryans. These ladies have more in common than their last name – they both love pussy! Let me start by saying how cute Dylan looks in her thin white v-neck and boy shorts. I’m pretty sure you could stumble into her bedroom in the morning and find her curled up with a cup of coffee and a book in that outfit!

Of course, they don’t last long, and once these girls start kissing I was no longer concerned with anything besides getting them off. Once again, you’ll get lots of kissing, pussy eating and a good chance to check out two hot ladies as they worship each other.

Overall, this is a strong girl-girl movie from Sweetheart. This is also my last porno review. I’m glad I got to see Dylan Ryan naked.

Meat Market

I was off celebrating the crap out of my birthday over a long weekend, which means I had very little time to watch porn. When I was looking for something to review this week, I saw this new movie from Playgirl that just happens to have a solo scene from Vin Vericose (aka Chad Alva, aka Mr. Andy San Dimas).

Meat Market

I’ve been meaning to check out more of his work, since I love his lady so much, and figure there’s no better way to learn about a dude in XXX than to watch him by his lonesome. The guys are often forgotten by the cameramen, so this way I was guaranteed to get a good look at him.

First let me say how much I like this Playgirl stuff. A lot of solo male movies feature bored guys in gross hotels who are typically looking off camera at whatever bad porno is playing on the television. It’s horrible. I like to watch guys who want to show off for the camera – not those who just want to come so they can get their 100 bucks and go to the bar.

Back to the action – Vericose stars in scene four which is a very sexy shower scene. You should know by now how much I love watching people get dirty under a cascade of water! He’s handsome, has a nice body and I was very glad to finally get a better look at his ink.

You get a good look at him from head to toe, but the camera does spent plenty of time focusing on the business at hand, which I can’t argue with. It’s no surprise he’s attached to one of the most beautiful women in XXX after getting a good look at everything he has to offer!

If you like watching guys get themselves off, you should definitely check out Playgirls series of solo male movies. They shoot really hot guys in sexy settings.

Lube Job

When I stumbled upon this classic clip with a feminist twist, I had to highlight it here! I’ve seen the mechanic theme played to death in the XXX business, mostly in gay guy porno, but never before have I seen a “lady mechanic,” as my grandfather would likely call her.

Lube Job

Like most of these old film loops, Lube Job is under ten minutes long. Fortunately, they pack a lot of hot action into that short time.

I knew I was in for something good the first time I saw our mechanic in her coveralls. I’ve never seen them look so damn good. When she bends over to take a look under the hood, it’s all the dude can do to control himself.

As long as I mentioned him, can I just say that he has one hell of a body. The majority of guys in high end gay porn look like that, but it’s very rare to see a physique like that in vintage hetero porno. Talk about eye candy!

Back to the action – because they pack a lot of it in this short clip. A good mechanic always checks the dip stick and it’s not long before she’s got his in her mouth and between her lovely, natural breasts. I always appreciate seeing a girl bent over the hood of a car, I am American after all, and by the time he’s fucking her from behind I was glad I gave this one a chance.

If you’re used to the thirty minute scenes of today’s gonzo films, you might want for more from some of these old quickies, but I just love them. This is definitely a good one!

Lesbian Cops – Erotic Investigations

I’ve got a thing for cops. I’m probably not the only one. I mean, what’s hotter than the thought of a confident, strong woman coming home, putting her gun on the counter and ravishing her girlfriend?

In Lesbian Cops, Sacchi Green has collected sixteen super hot stories that are as well-written as they are inspiring! Green has done a great job of compiling an eclectic bunch of tantalizing tales that are sure to please.

This may sound weird, but I found Elizabeth Coldwell’s Torn Off A Strip to be a really challenging story. After two officers are called to a bachelor party gone wrong, they find the evenings entertainment handcuffed to the porch railing with a stolen wallet in her back pocket. While the male officer takes the guys inside to get the story, his partner has her way with the suspect. It’s completely consensual, but I am 100% sure if the officer had been a male the feminist in me would have been furious. The fact that it turned me on left me with a bunch of questions…

Of course, no one really reads erotica to be challenged, so let me tell you about another one of my favorites, Dress Uniform by Teresa Noelle Roberts. It’s so much more than a dirty story about a cop and her girlfriend who has a thing for Cosplay. The dirty parts are so damn hot, but what really makes it stand out is Roberts’ attention to detail. The final sex scene was so good, partly because you understand where both women are coming from and are emotionally invested in it. It’s hard to write good characters in a dozen pages, but the author pulls it off here.

While those two stories stood out for me, there’s really not a dud in the bunch. This new Cleis Press collection may not be for everyone since it has such a specific focus, but if you’re the kind of girl who fantasizes about being pulled over, you’re going to love it.

Top Five Tuesday – Young Ron Jeremy

It’s sometimes to remember that Ron Jeremy was once a young stud in a world where reality television didn’t exist. While he’s still working in the biz, he’s really more of a pop culture icon than a porn star. I thought it would be fun to highlight some of his best movies from the golden age of porn.

A Little Bit Of...Hanky Panky A Little Bit Of…Hanky Panky: One of my favorite things to do in the summer is throw a tent in the back of the car, pack a cooler and go camping. One of my favorite things about camping is outdoor sex! This classic movie will convince even the biggest city slicker to give a night under the stars a chance. This whole movie is great, but you don’t want to Jeremy (in a speedo) fuck Ginger Lynn on a beach. It’s no wonder both are still so popular today!
Makin' Hay Makin’ Hay: One of the joys of these classic film clips from HotOldMovies is finding a scene from a superstar you’ve never seen before! This one may only be six minutes long, but it’s a great sample from Jeremy’s long career. Plus there’s just something this country girl loves about watching a lady get bent over a hay bail!
Sweet Summer Sweet Summer: Ron Jeremy could definitely throw down with the best cock slinger back in the day but what set him apart for me was his comedic timing. In Sweet Summer, you’ll see him show off his acting chops and fuck girls silly – it’s awesome! Plus, you can see a young Nina Hartley in action. She gets better with age, but it’s nice to see her older work too!
The Very Best Of Ron Jeremy The Very Best Of Ron Jeremy: Finally, the movie I have suggested to numerous people who only know Jeremy from reality television. Video X Pix has compiled a bunch of really great stuff from early in his career and it’s really great. A nice collection of short film loops that’ll show you just what you’re missing if you’ve never seen seventies Ron Jeremy fuck!
Collection #135: Hot Flashes Collection #135: Hot Flashes: I know this is supposed to be about Jeremy, and he’s good in this scene, but I just have to say that this is the clip that made me fall in love with Cara Lott. She is absolutely perfect in this film loop as she gets drilled by the Hedgehog. Definitely check it out!

-The Porn Librarian

Rascal Superstar Series – Brent Everett

Brent Everett is, without a doubt, one of the most popular men in gay porn. With a big dick, perfect body and a near perfect balance of youthful & rugged good looks, it’s not really that surprising.

Rascal Superstar Series - Brent Everett

Today we’re featuring a collection of some of his best scenes for Rascal Video. He’s a Channel One Releasing exclusive, so if you want to see this stud in action, that’s the best place to start. I mean, he did some amateur work (that we have!) but the majority of his stuff is with Chi Chi and crew.

My favorite scene from this collection is one I’ve seen before – the first. Everett and Benjamin Bradley are both insanely hot and the chemistry is off the charts. It’s honestly one of my favorite gay porn scenes, so you should probably watch it.

Scene four is another must-see shoot for me. Everett is a great top, but there’s just something about this one that stands out to me. I just loved watching him pound away on his partner’s perfect ass as he balanced on a bunch of bar stools. Impressive, sirs!

Overall, there’s not a dud in the bunch here, it’s really just a question of personal tastes regarding which you’ll like best. If you like polished, high-end gay porn, you’ll definitely find something to rock your world.

Official The Silence Of The Lambs Parody

Every once in a while I can’t help but check out a parody to see if people are even trying any more. I think we can all agree that many studios aren’t putting that much effort into their spoofs at this point.

Official The Silence Of The lambs Parodyt

Thankfully, there are a handful of people who take pornifying pop culture seriously and there are still good movies being released like this one!

I have to say that I love the fact that the XXX starts off with Kagney Linn Karter (playing Jodie Foster’s character) getting it on with Isis Taylor. While the scene didn’t blow my mind, I (along with every other lesbian) have viewed every character Foster plays as a lesbian since the mid eighties and was pleased to have my POV validated in this porno!

I would have thought the scene was pretty damn hot if it weren’t for that purple double dong. Zero Tolerance needs to splurge for some better toys. I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing that dong was not body-safe and that’s a turn off for me.

The best scene was definitely the fifth, probably because I had a college roommate who did a great impression of him. Mark Wood did a really great job as the character and I liked Riley Evans also. While it was weird, if you stop thinking about context, the scene is pretty damn hot. Both stars fuck like champs, although I’m still pondering the rubber duckie??

BTW, the Lector sex scene was just creepy. I kept waiting for it to get gorey – can you imagine if Burning Angel would have shot this film?? There would have been buckets of blood!

This one won’t win Parody of the Year at next year’s AVNs, but it is definitely one to see if you loved the original or are a fan of the genre. I personally was a little too creeped out by sometimes to enjoy the fucking as much as I’d like, but as a fan of the original, I had a good time with this one.

In Hot Pursuit

So, I usually don’t review movies if I wouldn’t recommend them. I mean, it’s fun to write a scathing review, but not very helpful if a reader is looking for something good.

In Hot Pursuit

However, today I want to talk about a movie I didn’t really like, mostly because I don’t get why everyone loves Jeff Stryker so damn much. I mean, he’s handsome and hung like a horse, but I find his performances so uninspired. It might be party because of his voice, which is kind of murderer-y to me, but he just always seems like he would rather be just about any where else in the world.

So, before I continue, is there something about Jeff Styker I’m missing? Is it nostalgia at this point? I can name a dozen hot guys with monster dicks who actually seem to enjoy sex… Help a girl out if you can.

Anyways, on to the review. I obviously don’t love the Stryker scenes (1 & 5) but besides that there is some good classic fuck footage. Doug McCall and Mike Ryan were really good in scene two – but who doesn’t love watching a dude with a bandana tied around his neck fuck? The threesome is also pretty wank worthy, but I’m always a fan of a crowd.

Despite the fact that I don’t love this movie, I think I can say it’s pretty good if you’re a fan of classic gay porn. I’ve been loving these Catalina titles since we started adding them a month or so ago. They”re really as good as it gets. Unfortunately, I just can’t get into Stryker no matter how big of a legend the guy is.