I went to library school but ended up working in the adult industry instead. I'm sure that happens to a lot of librarians. Now I get to catalog copious amounts of pornography and use the Women’s Studies degree that many deemed worthless.
When I’m not indulging in pornographic materials, I like riding my bike, high-fiving and will read anything you put in front of me. I’m most proud of the fact that at 30, I can still do pull-ups and am pretty sure I could rock the Presidential Fitness Test.
Oh. And I like Sluts. Sluts Rock. It’s just got to be the right slut
Holy crap is this girl adorable! This is the kind of girl I thought I would meet in library school. She’s geeky hot and I think a little Canadian. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed her interview almost as much as the masturbation scene that follows. I was pleasantly surprised to see some tattoos and piercings once she stripped out of her cardigan to reveal her beautiful alabaster skin and shaved pussy. Zille is a girl that is completely comfortable in her sexuality and puts on quite the performance and she rubs her clit frantically. The camera covers her from head to toe as she works towards orgasm and there’s nothing hotter than watching a woman’s face as she nears climax. If you like your girls a little nerdy, you’re going to love getting off with Zille. -The Porn Librarian
I don’t mean to ruin this week for everyone, but you should know that your day will not be brightened by my informative and hilarious blog postings this week. That’s right, I’m on vacation! The real porn librarian is sitting on the ocean while you read this “new” post thanks to the miracles of modern technology.
Since I love my job, my life is basically a vacation. However, there are a few things I look forward to forgetting about for a week.
Here’s a list of things I am avoiding on vacation:
1. Any video produced in Germany. Sorry Germany, you’re too hardcore for me.
2. My cell phone.
3. Reading for work. Joyce Carol Oates, it’s on!
4. New sex toys. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that boxes of sex toys appear on my doorstep frequently is pretty awesome, but I don’t intend on making any notes for future reviews during sex.
5. Changing diapers. I’m a super awesome Aunt, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
On the other hand, I’m all about the following things:
1. Beer with lunch!
2. Seafood.
3. Mornings in bed.
4. Kissing. For hours.
I’m sure you all miss me already. Of course, by “you all”, I mean “J.D.”
Mother’s Day is this Sunday, although I’m sure you don’t need a reminder. Ducky DooLittle wrote a brilliant piece over on her blog about moms, sex, and how Barnes and Noble blows.
One of my favorite things about becoming an adult is getting to know my parents as people. Ducky does a great job of reminding us how great moms also happen to be spectacular women!
Being a mother does not define them. It is one cherished element of many factors that make them full, complete, beautiful individuals.
Holy Crap! The dialogue in this movie is so perfectly porn! I can’t even describe it how amazing it is. It’s like watching a movie where they’re mocking porn, but with hardcore sex. I thought that the sex was spectacular in this movie, but Tommy Gunn is one of my favorite male performers, so I might be biased. Scene one starts the action off with an amazing scene. I’m not sure who the woman is, but she didn’t shut up and I loved it. Gunn pounds her after she deep throats his rock hard cock – and let me tell you, that doesn’t look like an easy feat! There’s also a pretty hot all-girl threesome that closes out the film and did I mention that Ron Jeremy plays the bad guy? If that’s not reason to check this one out, I’m not sure what would convince you. The Porn Librarian
Well, i thought that the people who are out there challenging books, instead of raising their children, would have felt so ridiculous in retrospect that they would leave And Tango Makes Three alone. Turns out I’m wrong again, because it was just announced that the children’s book about two male penguins and their family was the most challenged book again last year. Seriously folks, they’re penguins. I mean, I know their relationship is putting a strain on my immoral coupling, but I assume your magical marriage can withstand the pressure of homosexual penguins.
I’ve mentioned a couple of times that I’m in the middle of “researching” a big piece on different types of lube. I’m about half way through the giant box of lube I received from VibeReview.com, but I have to tell you about one pleasant surprise I received last night.
First, I should say, that I’m not a big fan of flavored lube for a couple of reasons. The first is that I’m scared of yeast infections. I know not all flavored lubes have sugar in them, but I tend to think of flavor lube as being a novelty product sold by companies who don’t care about the health of my lady parts. The second reason is that I’m a big fan of pussy. I love the way it tastes and don’t understand why you’d rather lap up strawberry flavored chemicals.
Anyways, in the name of science, I broke out the Fizz soda flavored lube 12 pack last night although i wasn’t really looking forward to it. Do you see how much i sacrifice for you, my friends? Anyways, the 12 pack is basically 12 individual packets of lube. There are six different flavors, so you get 2 of each to try.
After tearing open the packet I randomly grabbed “lickin’ lemon lime” and let me tell you how surprised i was when i put a dab on my finger for a taste test. This stuff actually tastes good! I mean, not as good as my girlfriend, but I think this is the first flavored lube that hasn’t totally grossed me out or left a bad aftertaste in my mouth. I haven’t tried any of the other flavors, but will give you an update in my upcoming extensive lube report.
Oh, and as far as performance as a lube, this water-based lube isn’t too bad. It’s not the best lube in the world, but it does the job, isn’t messy and didn’t leave any stains. For a couple who are looking to have fun with something a little different, I’d say go for it!
As J.D. mentioned in an earlier post, May is Masturbation Month!
Wooohoooo!!!!
If you’re a West Coast gal, you should seriously consider checking out The Center for Sex & Culture’s 7th annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco (of course!) While the idea lends itself to a number of easy jokes, this is a pretty rad event that raises money for a worth non-profit and promotes a healthy sexuality for everyone.
Although most men and women today are aware that masturbation isn’t a “degrading act,” many are still constrained by the notion that it’s a selfish, immature activity or a second-rate substitute for partner sex. We live in a society in which sexual expression has always been legislated and restricted and the pursuit of pure pleasure is frequently condemned as selfish and childish. A lot of people who consider themselves free of sexual hang-ups have simply rewritten the equation “sex is only good if it involves procreation” to “sex is only good if it involves two loving people.” The fact that masturbation is a pleasurable end in itself gets short shrift in mainstream sex manuals, which focus on masturbation as a useful tool in the building of a better sex life with one’s partner. The Masturbate-a-thon is dedicated to honoring masturbation as an excellent way to have sex while also raising money for non-profits.
For those of you who can’t justify a masturbation vacation to California, don’t worry. You can participate from the comfort of your own home. Plus you don’t have to worry about jet lag or traveling with a suitcase full of sex toys. Get your friends to sponsor you for every orgasm and tune into the life video feed of the event for inspiration!
Raising money for a good cause and setting aside a day for self-pleasure – seems like a noble cause to this girl. And, if you need one more reason to “find yourself” on May 25th, Nina Hartley is co-hosting this event. Could life get any better?
There’s no denying that lots of women love man sex – doesn’t matter if you identify as straight, queer or somewhere in between, experience tells me a good percentage of you are turned on by the thought of two men ravaging one another.
Homosex has plenty of that, but the fantastic thing about this compilation is that there’s more to it than titillating stories. Simon Sheppard has managed to create a poignant, erotic history that touches on many of the major milestones of gay life in America through its erotica.
What makes this compilation amazing, in my opinion, are the editor’s notes that proceed each story. Sheppard does a great job of setting the context for each piece and helps to tell this history through his brief, yet informative notes. Without his thoughtful research, this would be just another loosely bound concept of a book that would be hot, but forgettable.
The pieces included in this compilation cover sixty years and countless erotic fantasies. Even if you have little interest in the history lesson, you’re sure to get off to the amazing stories!
I’m not going to tell you that this movie is totally hot. You might think it is, but personally I love it for its art school weirdness. I have a special place in my heart for weird sex movies that make no sense. There’s not really a plot, but there are Vikings, so really, who am I to complain. We all know that plot is not necessary in adult, but just to get you curious, here is a list of things you’ll see:
1. Three really beautiful women. Seriously. They are absolutely stunning if you’re into the whole natural look.
2. Vikings tearing meat from bones while the women make out.
3. One dead Viking. I’m not sure what happens, but one guy finds himself on the wrong end of a sword.
4. Dudes drinking from horns. I just thought that was neat.
Anyways, you should watch this movie. It’s only seven minutes long and it’s pretty sweet. Will I be fantasizing about this film next time I’m getting romantic with myself? Definitely not – but it’s still totally awesome!
