Well, this is it. The last movie I’ll ever review at HotMoviesForHer. Disco Lesbians – a HotOldMovies movie. It doesn’t get much better than that. I love disco and I love lesbians. I mean, who doesn’t?
A couple of foxy ladies get down in a living room/love den. There are balloons all around and these gals boogie down like there is no tomorrow. As it turns out, this is not a a gentleman friends joins the party. The dancin’ girls show off their moves without their tops on before a little while longer, but can hardly wait to their threesome on. Who could blame them? After a night of embodying Boogie Fever, of course they want to get the group sex going.
There are pillows as far as the eyes can see so Johnny Cocksmith ( I made that name up) makes himself comfy and the ladies saddle up. With a pussy on his mouth and a mouth on his cock, he is happy to have stumbled upon these Disco “Lesbians,” can you dig it? Sorry, that was an awful 70’s reference, but I couldn’t help myself. Finally, on of the DL’s climbs on top of his cock for some reverse cowgirl. I couldn’t help but notice the wedding ring on her finger. I wonder if it was he husband in the film… or maybe he was the one filming… or perhaps she was seeking out a new thrill. Regardless, I couldn’t stop staring at it! I guess you know you’ve been working in the porno biz a long time when there is a three-way happening in front of you and all you can look at is the gold band on her finger!
The banging continues, positions change, he splooges, the end.
Today is my last day here at HotMoviesForHer. I’m excited about my new adventures in fitness, but there are some things (and people) that I’m going to miss. I’ll still be dealing in sweaty bodies and making people feel good, but it won’t involve smut. I’ve had a great run. Here are some of the things I’m going to miss:
1. Eating lunch while casually watching porno at my desk.
2. Having important conversations about vaginas, cocks, anal sex, eating pussy, blowjobs, jizz, squirting, cuckolding, orgies, masturbation, and fucking.
3. Singing made-up songs like Strap-on Sally with my co-workers.
4. Getting paid to write sex toy reviews. It is basically getting paid to masturbate and rating the experience. Sure, it is much more educational than that, but let’s call a spade a spade here, shall we?
5. Getting exposed to amazing porno created by women. I could do this on my own, but am I really going to spend tons of time scouring HotMoviesForHer and various adult sites for new lady porn? Actually, I’ll probably still do that. I just won’t get paid for it.
6. The occasional Facebook or Twitter convo with a porn star.
Look, wifebeaters have the unfortunate luck of being called “wifebeaters”. I’m not insensitive to this and I’m not going to get into personal stories to back up why. What I am going to do it review this Burning Angel movie that has been on my to-watch list for quite some time.
In scene one we have the cutie-face-sex-pot Kleio with one of my porno crushes, Danny Wylde (I’m two days out from my last day, I’m fine with being a creeper). Mr. Wylde knows how to wield his cock and he is equal parts charming dirty. That isn’t to take away from Kleio. While we’re objectifying people I’ll add that she has a beautiful tattooed body, a super cute haircut, and awesome bat tattoos on the backs of her legs. Now that that’s over with, I’ll start by saying that I rather like watching Kleio touch up on her self during the scene intro. I don’t feel like I get to see much of the wet wifebeater, but she still works it. It gets even hotter once Danny enters and ravages Kleio’s body to both of their likings. Danny is quite audible about how good she is at sucking his cock. He shows her his appreciation by fucking her nice and hard on a chaise lounge. He splooges on her tits and mouth for the big finish.
Moving along to scene 3 we get an eyeful of Krissie Dee in all of her hotness. She is another hottie with an awesome haircut. She is partnered up with Mick Blue and I’m not sad about it. Krissie spends a lot of time allowing her mouth to really get to know his wang before her top ever comes off. Eventually, Hunk-Master-Flex introduces himself to her pussy and ass. They definitely become close friends. If you like a good anal scene, you would definitely enjoy this one.
I always enjoy Burning Angel movies and this one is no exception. My only issue is that I don’t feel like there is a ton of emphasis on the wetness of the beaters. The porno is super hot, but if you were expecting a ton of soaked men’s undershirts, you may feel like you missed out. Otherwise, Wet Wifebeaters is the bangin’!
Oddly enough, I’m getting verklempt over writing my last ever Top Five Tuesday post. I decided to go with my favorite Top Five lists that either meant a little something to me or that tickled me. Whoa! Not like that, pervs! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this lists of lists and my very last Top Five Tuesday.
A Newbie’s Top 5 – This is my very first Top Five Tuesday ever. I can say that I still think I picked some pretty great movies. I would still put Content in my favorite porno list. It’s hot and dirty, just the way I like it.
My Top 5 For JD – I wrote this Top Five in honor of my work wife on her five year HotMoviesForHer anniversary. I’m pretty good at knowing what she likes because you sort of get to know someone when you sit within arms reach of them for close to two years. Alpha Femmes is definitely one of my favorites on the list, especially the scene starring April Flores and Jiz Lee. Lucky for you, there is a free clip on the post for you to water your mouths to. I love you, J.D. Bauchery!
Top 5 CBT Movies – That’s right, I made a list of my top 5 ball busting movies. I am totally intrigued by it and think that there just might be some ladies out there that are interested and want to see it too. I love a Crash Pad Series porno as much as the next person, but sometimes I need a little CBTjust to change things up. My top pick from the list? CBT Bondagestarring Mistress Jean Bardot. I find her to be absolutley stunning and I like watchig her giggle from time to time.
Goodbye, Top Five Tuesday. Thanks for all the laughs.
I hate reality TV shows with a passion. I’m generally a pretty happy person, but reality TV makes me want to break things. I know a lot of people love it and that is fine, but don’t expect me to cozy up on the couch and enjoy it with you. It will never happen. A “reality” porno starring hot ripped gay guys? Now that is something I can get behind.
The scenes start with a brief “confession” from each of the guys. They mainly talk about how good they are at fucking and whether they are a top or a bottom. We also get a sneak peek at their cocks as these guys are proud of what they’re packin’… and rightfully so. First up we have Brandon Bangs who promises to deliver cock meat sandwiches; the southern jock, Tyler Anderson; and the sweetheart/bottom, Shane Frost. Once the guys meet, it is Wang City – population 3. Our two tops get their dicks sucked and jerked off until finally it is time for penetration. They take turns on Shane and he loves every second of it. Brandon and Tyler position themselves over Shane’s shoulder and proceed to blow their loads on on his chest. Shane loves watching and eventually jizzes on his hand and washboard abs.
Next up we have sexy pants Rod Daily and country boy Brandon Lewis, who by the way, is adorable with his Texan accent. He is totally charming with his big bright smile and playful personality. He is also charming when he pulls out his already erect penis for Rod to get to work on! These two make a great pair and are totally fun to watch bang. They take turns with the anal sexin’ and both dudes get off when Brandon sits on Rod’s rod. Yes!
This flick from Hot House Video is an awesome gay porno pick. Although I didn’t write about all 6 scenes, each and everyone is worth watching. The boys are totally ripped and have fun personalities. It is well shot and fun to watch if you like male on male hotness!
Dana Vespoli’s Slammin’ Girls from Filly Films has been on my list of pornos to review for a long time. Since I only have a handful of reviews to write before my time here at HotMoviesForHer comes to an end, I might as well get it in. I mean, I’m excited about my career change and all, but I’d be crazy not to take advantage of getting paid to watch porno until the very last second.
One of the most inviting things about this lesbian flick is scene 1 starring Sinn Sage and Dani Daniels. Who doesn’t love alliteration, right? They’re two of my top performers, but not it isn’t just because of their names. They’re awesome performers who truly love fucking for the camera. Here Sinn and Dani are playing a game of cards when Dani gets caught cheating. This does not sit well Sinn who decides to take it out on DD’s pussy and ass. Man, I hope I’m lucky enough to piss Sinn Sage off one day! She bends Dani over the table and proceeds to work her her tight puss. Needless to say, Dani doesn’t put up a fight and the ladies devour each other whole. Sinn smothers Dani’s welcoming face and they both use their mouths to please the other. The scene finishes with some tribbing (vagina to vagina stimulation) and a shuttering orgasm from Sinn Sage. Yes!
Scene 2 stars Dana Vespoli herself with her psycho stalker, Kara Price. The opening of the scene borders on disturbing, but totally speaks to the pervert in me. Dana catches Kara in her house and pulls a gun on her which quickly turns into a struggle. The two wrestle and eventually give in to their girl boners. Kara knows how horny Dana is because she watches her masturbate all day. Dana doesn’t argue and takes the tongue lashings along with everything else Kara has to offer. The surprise ending is awesome! As it turns out, this is a little game they play. The whole scenario was set up!
The rest of the scenes in Dana Vespoli’s Slammin’ Girls start with conflict and end with awesome sex. The scenarios are fun and add a little something different. 15 thumbs up.
I wasn’t going to review this movie at first because of the word “bitch” in the title. Then I realized you were all big kids and could handle it. I realized you would get the context… that when badass dominatrix Julie Simone makes a movie called Vicious Strap On Bitches, it is going to feature some high quality strap on fucking and the word is meant in the best possible way. Plus, Julie is getting inducted into the AVN Hall Of Fame in 2013. She is pretty much amazing.
This flick is a compilation featuring a few ladies that know their way around a silicone dick, but I’m going to focus on Julie Simone for this review. In scene 3 Julie makes Ashley Renee her little pet and she ravages her latex covered body, save for her holes, always focusing on filling her pussy. The image is visually stunning as Ashley is tangled up in the rope as opposed to tied up. Miss Simone works her cock like the pro that she is, pumping Ashley’s puss in a variety of positions.
In scene 5 we get the pleasure of watching Julie team up with Summer Cummings to bang their hood-only wearing Ariel X. Both doms keep the smoking going as they fill Ariel’s wet pussy and mouth with their wangs.
I could go on, but you should watch this free clip instead.
We’re back to reviewing non-Christmas porno… hooray for Santa-free smut! In celebration I’m getting into some girl-girl goodness from Sweetheart Video. Elexis Unleashed 2 features three super hot scenes starring Elexis Monroe (surprise). With interviews at the top of each scene, we get to hear her thoughts, as well as those of her co-stars, on sex with women. The takeaway – it’s only fun to fuck women who want to be fucked.
Lexi Belle joins Elexis in scene 1. They make a great pair and are all about staring into each others’ eyes. I love the chemistry almost as much as I love watching Elexis dive in and eat Lexi’s pussy from behind. Lexi’s glistening pussy is evidence that she too approves of Elexis’s handy work. Later, the ladies engage in some scissoring which brings Elexis to a shuttering sheet gripping orgasm. So hot! Lexi laps up her juices and enjoys the fruits of her labor. The scene comes to a close with the two ladies in each others’ arms. Awww.
Scene 2 brings us a meeting between Elexis and Kristina Rose. I didn’t spend as much tim watching this scene as I did the other two, but I will say that Elexis sent Kristina into a shivering bliss as soon as she put her tongue to work.
Scene 3 brings us the big finish with Elexis and Alexis Texas. This scene pretty much had my girl boner up and at attention, and not just because their names are so similar. First of all, Alexis Texas lives up to the hype 100%. She is beautiful, has an undeniably gorgeous ass and loves what she does. The two spend a lot of time kissing and groping before their jeans ever come off and it never gets old. When the pants do come off, it is on. Alexis loses her mind when Elexis slides her fingers in and licks her pussy at the same time. Later in the scene Elexis pours hot candle wax on Alexis’s back. I like how they changed it up a bit! I could go on, but you really should just watch this scene for your self. You won’t be sad about it.
Hello and happy holidays from the ladies at HotMovies4her! It is a great day here in the offices de la smut – we’ve got our icicle lights twinkling, the holiday love floating through the air, and the XXX-mas porno on our computer screens. We always have sex on the brain so I thought today I’d talk about Christmas sex. Well, at least sex-related things you can do that make the holidays way more exciting than eating fruit cake!
1. Sexy Clothing – There is something fun about waking up your boo on Christmas morning all dressed in a sexy outfit or some lingerie. Christmas themed or not, they’ll love taking you in first thing. You can always keep it simple with a Santa hat and nothing else. You’ll be sure to get the point across! If you have kids or too much to do on Christmas morning, you can save it for late Christmas evening when everyone else has gone to bed.
2. Christmas Sexting – Sometimes Christmas day is jam packed with relatives, dinner, and all sorts of fun, but time consuming activities. Even though your lover is in the room with you, you don’t get to spend much time together, let alone bone your brains out. You can send each other naughty text messages to let them know what your plans are for when the craziness settles. You can just tell them all of your pervy desires while they’re serving up eggnog. Just remember to lock your phone to keep those prying eyes out!
3. Have YourSELF A Merry Little Christmas – Single? No time to get it on with your lover? Masturbate! It is a really great way to start a busy day… or any day, really. It is the cheapest yet most enjoyable gift you can give yourself. Sneaking away for a little stress reliever is also a good way to heighten your enjoyment of such an occasion. Seriously, a solo quickie in the bathroom is super dirty in the best possible way! If you have an excuse/the time to hop in the shower, do it! Remember to keep the noisy vibrators out of it. Spread the holiday cheer to Rosie Palm and her five elves for a change.
4. Christmas Slow Jams – Turn on the music and get the mood going. There is nothing like a little Brian McKnight to get you feeling saucy and romantic. Thank you, internet gods, for giving us YouTube.
There is something about people getting it on in front of a Christmas tree that makes the holidays feel complete. On Wednesday I enjoyed my stocking stuffing men doin’ it in front of the blue spruce and today I’m watching the ladies do the same in On The Mark For The Holidays. I just can’t get enough!
The first scene featuring a masturbating lady is only okay. It is hard to tell if she really wants to be there, which is the first turn turn-off, but what really deflates my balloon is that her vibrator is super loud. I like to listen when people are getting themselves off, but not to what sounds like a lawn mower on a pile of rocks. I guess the scene is less than okay after all.
Scene 2 really redeemed this flick. It isn’t super fancy, but it is hot. No pyrotechnics needed. They bust out the sex toys and make very good use of their tongues. At one point one lady is perched over the couch while the other is worker her over from behind with the vibe. It is definitely fun to watch!
Scene 3 is even hotter because it comes with the added benefit of Santa hats. Plus, the pretty perky-titted brunettes are super into each other and keep the juices flowing! They too are all about the vibrators and at one point get the double penetration action going. So dirty! I was so not sad about watching these girlies get it on.