Butch/Femme dynamics have always held a special place in my heart. Alright, in my heart and in my pants. Yep, I think butch/femme dynamics are super duper hot. There is something about the delicious performances of masculinity and femininity that fit within that queer framework that give my bottom that special tingle. Maybe it’s because I identify as a femme and I’ve always had my eye on masculine-identified queers, be they butch women or transgender men. Or maybe it’s just this amazing subset of society that has a rich history that I find alluring. Either way, I totally jumped at the chance to read and review Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch/Femme Erotica edited by Tristan Taormino.
I guess before I go on, I should probably give a rundown of what are butch/femme dynamics. The whole thing is a much bigger conversation than I can fit in this post, but here are the basics. While a person’s sex is male or female (though there are plenty of intersex folks as well!), the genders that they take on are masculinity and femininity. Anyone can take on any role and perform gender in the way that they feel most comfortable.
For some queer or lesbian-identified women, feminine presentation and gender roles are not their preference and they instead gravitate to a more masculine presentation, and still identify as a woman. Femmes, on the other hand, are women that embrace femininity, but do so in a more performed, intentional way. While there are tons of relationships that include two (or more) butches, and two (or more) femmes, what I am talking about by butch/femme dynamics, I am referring to the ways that butches and femmes interact and relate with one and another. There has been a lot of tension in the community in the past (and present) about butches and femmes replicating hetero-normative culture and perpetuating stifling gender roles, but we aren’t here to talk about that now… we are here to talk about how very hot these dynamics and relationships can be! Alright, now that we’ve got the initial info down, let’s get to it!
Along with having a thing for butch/femme dynamics, I also have a major boner for written erotica. I’ve always been hot for the written word, but I’m pretty sure that watching porno for a full-time job has my visual erotica response dulled, which has increased my excitement for erotic writing. And since “Sometimes She Lets Me” mixes two things that make me incredibly hot, it only stands to reason that this book should light me on fire. And oh, did it ever.
Each of the 23 stories in this erotic anthology of hotness is perfectly crafted – never revealing too much too soon or dragging along. In fact, each story is executed exquisitely, with just the right build up, climax and cool down. Sound familiar? And it doesn’t just read like a delicious orgasm, it doles them out, one after another, story after story making the reader’s face flush with that special red of arousal. Or maybe that was just me.
I’m not even sure how to talk about which were my favorite stories, because each of the 23 had their own piece that tickled both my fancy and my bottom. I will say that the folks who I knew would be amazing (like Sinclair Sexsmith and S. Bear Bergman) were every bit as alluring and wonderful as I had hoped, and many new names for me are now prominently etched into the subconscious of my spank bank. Need I say anymore?
If you are into butch/femme dynamics, or even just like hot erotica, Sometimes She Lets Me needs to make it onto your reading list/bedside table!
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J.D. already told the story the Dildo Dr, but I’ll go ahead and give a quick overview in case you missed. At the epic weekend that was Dinah, J.D. and I stepped away from the HotMoviesForHer cabana and went for a little walk to check out the venders and to say hello to the other awesome folks working the event. It was then that we met the Dildo Dr. In honor of those with latex allergies he sells glass dildos so peeps can enjoy the joys that sex toys have to offer without getting itchy and whatnot. We let him know who we were and that we review sex toys so if he ever wanted a little HM4Her love we’d be happy to give it. In the blink of an eye he told us to step inside and take the dildo of our choice. What?!? Being the lovers of dildos that we are, we didn’t ask any questions and proceeded to browse over 2 very full tables of beautiful pyrex cocks. The term “kid in a
candy store” doesn’t even compare to our behavior.
Needless to say, the Dildo Dr. is an awesome guy – he is super laid back and has a very kind heart. I’ll get on with the review.
I laid my eyes on the giant bumpy cucumber dildo and that was it. I looked over the other dildos for quite a while, but my eyes kept going back to that beautiful cuke. I’m not going to lie. It’s the size that I was attracted to. It’s super long and fairly girthy. I love that glass doesn’t give – it’s hard all day and that makes that filled sensation even sweeter.
The Cucumber is 12 inches in total length and 1.75 inches in width. Yes, it is 12 inches long. That doesn’t mean you have to fit the whole thing inside of you in order to enjoy it! The roughly 4 inch long handle tapers and is free of bumps. There is a slight curve and the tip is round with no taper. The surface is super bumpy which is ideal for lovers of pronounced texture. The cucumber certainly isn’t the fattest dildo I’ve ever seen, but it represents in the size department.
With the decent girth and bumpiness, you definitely want to make sure you are warmed up and you have some lube on hand. I personally don’t love intense thrusting with bumpy textures, but the thickness did me right for the fill. Gentle short thrusts are where it’s at if you need movement. You should be careful when using glass toys anyway – vigorous thrusts can do some damage. That certainly isn’t meant to deter you from using glass. It is awesome, just handle with care! What I do love is the basic shape or the cucumber. It has just enough of a curve to flow with my body, but it isn’t so angled that it is uncomfortable. Love it!
To sum it up -
–Glass is a body friendly material and gets a long with my delicate sensibilities.
–Glass is really easy to clean. Soap and water. Done.
–It was given to me by a really good dude.
–It’s big.
–J.D. and I both (unintentionally) picked vegetable themed dildos.
Is it for everyone? No. You definitely need to be into sizable toys with lots of texture. The good news is that the Dildo Dr. has a ton of glass toys to choose from!
Get your own Cucumber glass dildo here!
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A few weeks back, while we were out in Palm Springs at The Dinah, we stopped by DildoDr.com’s vender booth, just to say hello, check out the wares and do a little networking (as you do with other sex industry folks). While chatting with the company’s owner, we happened to mention that we do toy reviews on the site, just in case he’d be interested in getting in touch later down the line to talk about having us review stuff.
Without skipping a beat, the Dildo Dr. told us to take a look at all of the toys there and pick one each to take with us for review. Say what?!? We were shocked by this guy’s total generosity, but didn’t have to be told twice! After looking through the tables of beautiful glass toys, I finally settled on what I later found out was called Corn Art, an eight inch, amber colored dildo. Along with the toys, Dildo Dr. gave us awesome padded bags to protect our precious cargo in transit (and to keep safe once we got home). Seriously amazing.
So, I think you can see why this Pyrex dildo is called Corn Art. For those of you who can’t see images, the Corn Art dildo is an eight inch dildo that is basically shaped like a corn on the cob, complete with a knobby handle at the end. The shaft of the dildo has little bumps along it, which look exactly like the kernels you find on an actual ear of corn. The whole thing is a beautiful amber color, which isn’t corn-themed, but makes the whole piece look like a piece of art.
Measuring in at 1.75” wide, Corn Art is a pretty sizeable toy that fills the body nicely, especially because of the material it is made of. Unlike silicone or rubber, glass is a totally rigid material that has no give or spring to it, so even if a toy isn’t super wide, it still offers a filling feeling. The weightiness of the glass only adds to that feeling. Another plus of playing with a glass toy is that it only needs a drop of lube to keep it slippery for a long time.
While I loved a lot about this dildo, there were a few aspects that I wasn’t as excited about. The pointy shape of the toy, paired with the hard material didn’t work so well for me. There was something about the way the tip of the toy moved into the full width that felt uncomfortable in my body. I would have preferred a more gradual increase in size. As well, the kernels along the shaft didn’t add to my pleasure. That particular texture wasn’t working with my body structure, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work wonders for other people. Length and handle-wise, I have no complaints. They both were fabulous.
Though we’ve touched on it in pretty much every glass toy review, I just wanted to reiterate that the types of glass toys we are talking about are made of specific types of shatter-proof glass, such as Pyrex. I just want to make sure that no one thinks we are telling them that they should shove IKEA wine glasses up their holes. I mean really, those things break if you look at them funny.
All in all, this is one great toy to get corny with!
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I don’t know if you know this, but different impact play toys offer up different sensations. Crazy idea, I know, but it’s true. And, depending on how you play with them also results in a variety of experiences as well. While I’ve enjoyed my share of thumpy and thuddy toys, I’ve yet to really get down and dirty with something stingy – until now. And when I say stingy, I don’t mean a light stinging sensation like a slap… I mean a heavy duty whack that leaves a stinging red mark, even when it barely touches you. I mean the Rubber Paddle from Babeland.
So, what makes this paddle so freaking stingy? Probably because it’s made from 1/2 inch thick, super heavy rubber. You know, like the same rubber that tires are made from – complete with the same smell that you encounter at the local Pep Boys. And man, that smell is sexy! Measuring in a 11 inches long total (with a 5 inch handle) and 3 inches wide, this isn’t a particularly big paddle, but the material gives it an extra weightiness that packs the wallop!
Another aspect that increases its intense stinging is that the whole thing is downright flexible, with the handle being especially (for lack of a better word) rubbery. Because of that pliable nature, the paddle gets a little more velocity when it’s thrown, and when it makes contact with the skin, it actually curves toward the skin to cover more area. Yeah, this is one mean mother f-er. And no, I’m not talking about Shaft.
Though it is vaguely tire-esque, mostly in smell, don’t think that this toy is rough around the edges. It’s coated with a velvety finish that feels amazing when it’s run along your skin. Plus the paddle also offers up a hole on the handle that makes it easy to hang on a small hook or add a string to hang on.
I was quite impressed with this paddle and even more excited when I saw that it goes for a modest price. Kink toys are usually pretty expensive (well, the quality ones anyway), especially when you get into harder core ones, but this well-made paddle is priced quite fairly.
Just to be super clear, I do NOT recommend this toy for BDSM beginners – doms or subs. It is way too intense of a toy to start with and takes little effort to produce a powerful sensation. Start with something a little less hardcore and move up as you progress. This paddle is perfect for practiced pros that know how to throw an impact toy properly and are looking to sting the crap out of someone.
Babeland’s Rubber Paddle get my two thumbs up! Just be careful sitting the next day…
ps. Those are my hands in the pictures. Nice manicure, huh?
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I’ve always wanted a bottle of toy cleaner. It’s true. I was actually really excited when I found out I was going to review Pjur Med Clean. I’m not generally all that enthused about cleaning products. I wouldn’t be jazzed about getting a bottle of Clorox for Christmas or anything like that. The idea of being able to clean off the juicy left overs from my toys with a little spritz is pretty exciting to me. It just is! Judge me if you must.
I got my hands on a bottle of Pjur Med Clean spray and I am pretty pleased. You don’t need any water to activate. You can wipe off the excess with a rag if you wish. This stuff works pretty darn well, but from time to time you might need a little wipe to bring home the cleanliness. Here are a list of the ingredients:
–Aqua (water)
–phenoxyethanol
–cocamidopropyl betaine
–chlorhexidine digluconate
–peg-7 glyceryl cocoate
–dimethicone copolyol
–neohesperidine, sorbitol
These ingredients are commonly found in toiletries and other beauty products. I am not a chemist, but I will say that I have the most sensitive skin in the universe and am happy to report that I did not experience any irritation from using Pjur Med Clean. Pjur states that it is gentle enough to spray directly on your goodies, but I didn’t test that out. I’m just not comfortable with that. I’m not saying it isn’t perfectly safe or acceptable to do so, I just don’t feel good about it. That’s how I roll.
How does it work? Spray it on your sex toy. That’s it! I like giving a little once over with a cloth. Seriously, this stuff works really well. If you have anything with grooves, nooks and crannies, you definitely need to dig a little like you normally would. It isn’t magic, but it is awesome.
Get your own Pjur Med Clean at My Pleasure!
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It’s not all that often that you come home from work and tell your honey to take off their pants, because it’s time for a little electrocution. Well, not unless you live in the home of dirty perverts, and that, my friend, is exactly what we are. At this point, my partner is pretty used to having me come home baring special sex toy treats in my tote bag, and he quite patiently obliges as I “bring my work home” and give each one a test, be it with him or not.
Now, I’ll admit that this review has been a long time coming. Like I said, it’s not every day that you bring home electro-stim toys to play with, and this KinkLab’s Neon Wand Electrosex Kit is the very first one I’ve ever experienced! That’s right, your confident neighborhood sex toy reviewer was a electro-stim VIRGIN before this toy. That said, I wanted to make 100% sure that I gave it the time and dedication that it deserves before writing it up.
Before we get into all the shocking action (ha!), I want to stress that you NEED to read the user guide prior to plugging this bad boy in. Not only does it have a ton of useful info to make playing more fun, but it gives you all the important safety information you should know – like not to use the Wand on one spot for more than 10 seconds, and not to use on folks with heart conditions. This is electricity we are dealing with, people, give it the respect it deserves.
Alright, now that we’ve got that out of the way, what exactly IS the Neon Wand? Well, the Neon Wand is an Electro-Erotic toy that creates an electrical charge across the surface of the skin, wherever you touch with one of the four glass electrode attachments. The sensations depend on how high the current is turned up, ranging from a light tingling to a sharp shock. You definitely want to start out at the lowest setting and turn it up from there, especially if you are on sensitive parts of the body.
Like I said above, the Neon Wand comes with four different glass electrode attachments that fit into the white wand (which is about 10 inches long) that plugs into the wall. There is an electro comb that looks like a comb with 9 one-inch-long nubs. The second is a mushroom shaped electrode, with a flatter, wider head, which touches a wider surface volume. The third is a tiny bulb at the end of a longer, curved stalk called the 90 degree probe. The tip offers the smallest surface area, meaning the charge is more concentrated. Then there is the tongue tube, which is a rounded diamond shape at the end of the tube. This electrode is flat and kind of looks like a flat spoon. Each attachment feels a little different and definitely made for a fun testing exploration.
When you bring the electrode (attached to the wand) close to your skin, a small colored beam/spark comes out and connects to the skin. I know it sounds weird when I explain it, but really, it’s just what the charge looks like. There are two color options to choose from – purple or red, though you only get one or the other when you buy your wand. Unfortunately you can’t change it on a whim. Mine is red, for all you visual folks out there.
There are other electro-stim wands out there, so what makes the Neon Wand different? This toy is a solid-state device with no moving parts, which means it’s more durable and you can move it around when playing without worrying that the charge is going to vary. I don’t know about you, but I want to know that if I turn it whatever way that it’s not going to lose its power, or shock the crap out of me. Another plus of having a solid-state device is that it is super portable. Who doesn’t love the kinkiest hotel sex? And it comes in its own perfectly packed case! Woohoo!
When we plugged the Neon Wand in ourselves, we were very careful not to spend too much time anywhere near the heart. Something about electricity anywhere near my heart freaks me deeply. I also wasn’t too keen on waving it on my vulva at all, preferring to keep it to extremities. Even my inner thighs were too sensitive for the lowest setting. We used it as more of a tease and in power play situations than as a toy to engage with our genitals. It wasn’t something we used to get off – it was something to get us aroused and offer up a little bit of pain. I know we will definitely use it for some good old fashion mean play in the future.
If you are into erotic electric experiences worth every penny, get yourself a KinkLab Neon Wand from Stockroom!
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There aren’t many things I think of as staples of sex, but other than safer sex materials, lube is definitely one of them. Lube is just a fact of life. No matter how much natural lubricant your body produces, it’s usually a good idea to add some additional lube, just to make sure things stay slick and moving along.
Choosing the lube for you depends on what activities you have planned for the evening (or morning… or afternoon… or nooner…). If you are playing with a bunch of silicone toys, you want to go with water-based lube, as silicone on silicone will destroy your toys. If you are looking for a lube that stays slipperier longer, head to the silicone lube isle. Today we are all about water-based, reviewing Megasol Eros Liquid Aqua Based Woman lube.
Before getting into all the great things about this lube, I do want to mention that it does contain glycerin. For some women this isn’t an issue, but for other, more sensitive folks, it is no bueno. Glycerin is related to sugar glucose and can cause nasty yeast infections, so just be aware of your own body chemistry. Ok, warning over – now on to the good stuff!
Megasol Eros Liquid Aqua Based Woman is a long-lasting lube that gets the party started with only a drop or two needed. It may not be quite as viscous as silicone-based lube, but it definitely stays slippery without leaving a greasy feeling in its wake. And even more importantly, it doesn’t get sticky or tacky after a rousing session. This lube actually leaves your skin feeling soft and moist. Oh, and one more thing – it doesn’t taste yucky, which is a pretty big thing, of you ask me.
While I’m not pumped about the glycerin, I am happy to report that Megasol Eros Liquid Aqua Based Woman is paraben-free, which is awesome.
All-in-all Megasol Eros Liquid Aqua Based Woman is a decent water-based lube that works well – as long as your body can tolerate the glycerin.
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I never expect much from any toy with the words “my first” in the name. I usually judge the crap out of it – expecting seam-laden plastic pieces just waiting crack or a blob of jelly with that new car sent. What else? Either a pathetically week motor or one that is so buzzily strong it makes my clit want to detach itself and hide in the other room. California Exotic’s My First Rabbit didn’t necessarily turn me into a believer, but it definitely represented for the “my first” toys. I could go on a rant about who gets to decide that shitty toys are for beginners, but I’m not really up for that today.
Pulling it out of the box, I didn’t notice a smell. It is made from TPR so when you put your nose right up against it, you do get a whiff of chemical (not) goodness. It didn’t knock me out, but you better believe I put a non-latex condom over the shaft before using. It rocks 5 1/2 inches in insertable length and 1 1/4 inch in width. It’s not uber filling, but not a pencil thin “beginner” toy. It has a fat rabbit clit stimulator with 2 mighty little ears and 4 rows of rotating metal beads in the shaft. Oh and it’s powered by 4 AAA batteries that are not included.
My First Rabbit boasts medium power. While you can adjust the bead rotation direction, you only get one speed to choose from. The external stimulator has hi and low settings to choose from. I could definitely feel the rotating beads and swirling head, but there could have been a little more mmph. I was surprised that the rabbit shaped stimulator actually reached my clit. The ears did a nice job of tickling each side of the little man ion the boat, which was pretty awesome. Even on high it wasn’t super stong, but I don’t like tons of power so it was fine with me. It definitely made some noise, which was the most annoying part of it all. Although, I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced a quiet rabbit style vibrator.
It was nice get a pleasant surprise from a toy that I totally underestimated. Did it revolutionize vibrators as I know them? No, it just came with a little more swag than I expected. It actually didn’t stop working after the first try, nor did it crack with a few pressings of the buttons. I’m not sure i will pull this out of the box too often, but once in a while it will satisfy my hankering for dual stimulation. It is affordable as rabbit vibes go, so I definitely think you get a good value for money spent. If you’re a rabbit vibe connoisseur, you’ll likely not be impressed by this thing. If you’re looking to test the waters with such a toy, if gives a good taste of what you can get if you’re will to spend more money. In this case, the My First Rabbit would make for a decent beginner toy. There. I said it.
Get your own My First Rabbit Vibe from Babeland!
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I don’t know if you remember, but a little while back I blogged about Project TransAction, an awesome queer San Francisco-based company that makes amazing silk-screened leather goods and has Jiz Lee as a model on their Etsy store. After writing about it and pouring over their online shop, I knew I needed to check out something from their “Leather for Lovers” section, so I got a hold of shop owner Jacob Vaughn and got on knees (over email) and begged for some item to review. Seriously, he’s probably lucky I wasn’t there in person, because I probably came off demented enough on email. But seriously, take a look at the site and you will see why. After going back and forth on specifics, Vaughn sent out a pair of black leather restraint cuffs with… wait for it… the PERIODIC TABLE silk-screened on them. Holy kinky nerd nirvana!
While I am usually super excited when we get packages of toys to review, I think this may have been one of the few times when I actually squealed when I opened the mailer. Seriously. Of course I had to try then on right away. I had given them my wrist measurement, so it was a perfect fit. And of course I wore them for the rest of the day too. How could I not?
Handmade with beautiful, supple leather and sturdy metal fasteners and rings, these gorgeous cuffs are super high quality. It is so obvious that they folks that made them take great pride in their work. And because Project TransAction is an independent leatherworking and screenprinting company, they are really easy to get a hold of to talk about custom designs and configurations.
It was lucky that I made the smart move to let my partner know that I received them earlier in the day, so he would be ready for go time when I got home from work. I didn’t want any distraction from playing with my new best friends. It’s also really nice that they are discreetly kinky enough to wear on the bus going home and people thing they are just leather cuffs. Ok… maybe that’s not true. I told myself that no one knew I was wearing restraints on the bus, but honestly, the metal rings probably gave it away. Oh well, it was still an exciting bus ride, with what I thought was my special dirty secret.
The only down side to these cuffs is that it was only when I was home and ready to play did I realize that I didn’t have anything to connect them. That doesn’t have anything to do with the actual, as much as my poor planning. But, being the craft queer that I am, I just stripped my carabineer of its keys and my partner snapped my cuffed wrists together. Yum. I’ll have to remember to get a double ended clip thing from the hardware store for later, but for now, the carabineer does its job.
In actual play, these leather cuffs are seriously a dream. They don’t pinch or chafe in any way, and once they are broken in, the leather basically molds perfectly to your wrists for an amazing custom-feeling fit, but honestly, they feel great from the beginning. They stay in place and keep your wrists totally restrained and feeling good. And you don’t even know how important that is until you are playing with a pair of cheap ass restraints or handcuffs that annoy your wrists so much that you can’t even concentrate on the hot action. These restraints are hands down (or tied to the bed frame…) awesome! And I forgot – they smell so amazingly leathery delicious!
As of right now I don’t actually see the periodic table leather wrist restraints on Project TransAction Etsy store, but I’m sure you can email them and ask. But don’t miss the amazing sailor anchor restraints and the vintage circus acrobat ones. Or the SO FUCKING HOT harnesses that they make. Alright, this review needs to be over before I pass out from all the blood leaving my brain and traveling to my pants. Just know that you need to check them out.
Oh, and just so you know, they make belts and cuffs and other stuff too.
ps. I know these aren’t the best pictures, but we took them ourselves, so sorry!
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Have you ever seen that game online that shows you a bunch of pictures of toys and you need to choose whether they are baby toys or sex toys? No? Well, it’s pretty awesome, because sometimes it’s easy to tell which is which, and sometimes it’s not only damn near impossible to figure it out – I actually get them wrong! Why do I bring this up? Because this week’s reviewed toy, the Pop Plug, is the most toy-like sex toy I’ve ever seen.
Hot pink and shaped kind of like an over-sized pacifier, this silicone butt plug comes in three different sizes (small – 1”x 1 4/5”, medium – 1 ¼”x2 ½”, large – 1 ½”x 2 ½”). While they may be a little wide for some beginners, I’d say that all of these plugs are great for just starting to play with the butt. Their teardrop shape allows the narrow tip to easily slide into your asshole and then gradually get bigger and bulbous before returning to the narrowness of the neck that keeps it help securely in place. These plugs even have a ring molded into the silicone to make pulling it out as easy as possible. The ring is pretty much what makes me automatically think of pacifiers and rattles. What can I say, I’ve been working around dirty stuff so long that my mind has made it full circle back to being completely clean.
Unlike some sex toys, the Pop Plugs are most definitely non-threatening. If you are looking for a butt plug to introduce to a partner that may be anxious the booty, this would be a great option to offer up. And being silicone, this toy is 100% body safe and super easy to clean and sterilize. The satiny silicone makes the Pop Plug go in nice smoothly as well.
While both my partner and I are a little more advanced with the booty play, we still appreciated having a simple, easy-to-use toy. We got a medium plug to test out, which was a little on the small side, so we used it to warm up with before moving on to a bigger plug. The Pop Plug was a great opening act and stayed firmly in place as we worked ourselves into a more excited frenzy. Plus the ring made it super easy to pop out as we moved on to a bigger toy. All-in-all, the Pop Plug an awesome toy for those just starting out, more advanced anal adventurers, and everyone in between.
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