Summer is officially here! That’s right, the lazy days of sun, sand, swimming and sexin’ are finally upon us. And there isn’t much that compares to my favorite warm weather activity - outdoor sex! Sex in the sun can make the hot days of summer even steamier and nights cooler than cool. So grab your sand toys and sunblock and check out all you need to know about sex in the water, sex in the sun and sex on the beach (other than it being a fabulous cocktail, of course!).

What’s What In The Waves

Sex and water are one hot duo. Not only do you get that thrill of exhibitionism if you are in a public place (though try to keep it out of kid heavy areas, oh and um… it’s kinda illegal), you get to try out all sorts of new and exciting positions while you float nearly weightlessly through the water. Not too mention easy access through bikini bottoms and pulling the trunks down a bit! Tee Hee!

There is a little snafu though. It’s not the water that’s the problem, it’s what’s IN the water that makes for a questionable situation. Water than contains chlorine, salt, or bacteria can all pose risk of infection or irritation when it’s forced into the vagina during penetration and thrusting. That basically means all pools, lakes, oceans, rivers and Jacuzzis can mean risky business for getting down and dirty… um, literally.

Oh and real quick, water is NOT a contraceptive. You can still get prego and share all kinds of nasty sexually transmitted infections while humpin’ in the H2O. In fact, since the water washes away all your natural lubricant, friction is a clear and present danger. And with friction can come tiny tears in the vagina, which help those nasty STI’s just come right in. Keep in mind that you can always bring some silicone lube to help with the friction, though be sure that it is silicone, because water-based lube will wash away and oil-based lube is bad for girl bits and condoms. Plus, speaking of condoms, unfortunately they aren’t so great when mixed with water. Condoms can break due to the friction, deteriorate from the chemicals or oils in the water (hello sunscreen, there you are!) and can even just slip off if water gets inside. So unless you are tested, green-lighted, had “the talk” about going commando and not afraid of babies, I suggest docking your nookie and staying seaside for now.

Where The Sun Don’t Shine… Oh Wait, It Does

What are the two biggest things to remember when you’re doing strenuous activity in the hot summer sun? Stay hydrated and use plenty of sun block! Well, the same goes for getting busy on a sunshiney day. Make sure you have water on hand to keep the dehydration away and definitely go head to toe with the SPF! You really don’t want to have to explain to people why your ass is so sunburned you can’t sit down. Why not make the application part of the fun and rub each other down? It’s all about the protection, people. And let’s not forget about the bug spray…

Sexin’ In The Sand

Now, unless you go all out and super prepare for having sex on the beach, my two cents on the matter says don’t even bother. Sure it looks all romantic and swoony in the movies, but the cold, gritty reality is that sex on the beach means little grainy sand particles up in all your cervices. And I know I want nothing to do with that. The best way I’ve heard to combat the sandy dilemma is to go with a zippered sleeping bag. While it makes sense that most sand would stay out, I still see a few granules creeping in, so I’m a little hesitant. But for braver souls than I, definitely grab your camping gear out of the closet and hit the beach running.

Also, you are in public, no matter how secluded you think you are. If you’re planning to have sex on the sand, wear a dress and keep it on while you get it on. It’s way easier than having to scramble back into your sandy clothes if someone – particularly a cop – should wander your way.

A few Other Sizzling Summer Tips:

- Ooooh, no air conditioning, huh? Not to worry, you can still fuck, though you’re slowly melting to death. Point a few fans on the bed and hop into the shower together on cold blast. Get started with a little hot foreplay in the freezing stream, then run back to the bed while you’re still shivering a little to get the full potential of the air from the fans hitting your dripping skin to keep it cold. Fuck. Rinse. Repeat.

- Or go straight to the source and fill a bowl with ice cubes. Run the little squares of delicious freezing over each other’s skin and enjoy the frigid thrill while you get decidedly unfrigid.

- Mix it up even more with a little ice cream. Grab a pint and let the drippy cool goodness trail down each other’s skin, licking it away as it runs along. Just be sure not to let any get too far and get near your vagina. Nothing like a nasty yeast infection to really cool things down. Also, this may be a “duh” factor, but ice cream gets sticky – really, really sticky. You might want to think about keeping close to the shower if you plan to get it on with both Ben and Jerry.

And remember to just have fun! The summer is all about relaxing and enjoying the great outdoors. So quit your whining about the heat, grab your partner/lover/fuck buddy/whatever and get to it! We are in for a good few months!

Surf’s Up!

J.D. Bauchery