I know that HMFH readers are from all over the world, but where I am (Philadelphia), it is absolutely freezing. And you know what cold weather does… keeps us layered up in clothes, jackets, blankets, mittens, etc. Sure we know that gettin’ busy is a perfect way to warm our bodies up, but unfortunately the chilly winter air tends to keep the flannel pajamas buttoned up tight. Yep, welcome to the season of frostbitten fingers and not-so-steamy sex. With Valentine’s Day - and sooner than not spring!! – coming up at lightning speed, I thought that now would be the perfect time to talk about cranking the heat up – and I don’t mean the thermostat on the wall!
Playing with temperature can be really titillating to the skin and totally erotic. Whether it’s going hot or cold, the sensitive nerve ending in the skin can be incredibly stimulated by adding even the tiniest bit of change in temperature. Need an example? Just think what happens to nipples on a chilly day. Hot!
There are a variety of lotion and lubes that warm up when they hit skin. These lotions/lubes can usually be used both internally (lubes) and externally (be sure to read the directions) and are designed to create a warming sensation on the skin. Since many people have sensitive skin or are irritated by certain ingredients, I do suggest testing anything like this – whether it warms up, cools down or just generally makes you tingly - on a small part of your body (like your wrist) before drizzling all over your vulva. While warming lotions/lubes don’t usually burn or get too hot, some do contain capsaicin, the active ingredient in chili peppers, which has been known to cause unpleasant reactions (read: burning vagina!) in some.
After getting hot and steamy with warming lube, try cooling down with a little action in the lower temps. Trail an ice cube over erect nipples or let cold water melt off and drip onto a clit or penis head for a super hot reaction. You can also suck on ice or leave it in your mouth before going down on your partner. The interaction of hot skin and cold mouth is a perfect way to get both of you burnin’ up. There are lubes out there that turn cold to the touch, but I prefer ice because it’s free, something that is usually around the house, and chemical free. Also, don’t forget that in some parts winter means snow! I’ll let your imagination run wild with that one…
You know how people always say to take a cold shower to stop being horny (an old wives tale)? Well, it works the other way around too! Back to warming up, another awesome (and free!!) way to heat up both your minds and bodies is with a nice, steamy shower. Get dirty while washing off the dirt! Joint showers are really fun because you get to touch each other all over your bodies while you’re lathering on the soap – even parts that rarely get love, like elbows and knees. Plus it’s really hot to be all slippery and sliding around with each other. Just be careful not to slip!
Baths are also great for turning innocent bathing into a raunchy underwater fuck fest. Bubble baths are especially nice for erotic play and relaxing, but be careful with penetrative sex in bubbles as the bubble bath infused water that comes in along with penetration can irritate your vagina.
Temperature play can definitely enhance and excite the bodies reacting in a ton of ways. Take turns exploring different levels of hot and cold. Just be careful about extreme temperatures with sensitive genital skin, or any skin really. With open communication about the sensations (which can be incorporated into hot dirty talk!), you should be fine to both fire up your desires and freeze your winter blues away.
Counting the days till spring!
J.D. Bauchery
