One interesting (and mildly terrifying) facet of my life as a porn actress is that I don’t necessarily know who I’m going to be having sex with on a given day. It’s a little like arranging a boxing match — who do the fans want to see go at it? Who would make good ‘opponents’? Sometimes conventional wisdom is correct, and other times — as highlighted in my last column — it’s a bit of a disaster.

And sometimes you strike gold and you find yourself in a scene with Stephanie Swift.

Most people know her as that former Wicked contract girl, the super hot, exotic-looking one who seems a little… glum. Stephanie is not blonde and big boobed, nor is she particularly bubbly. There’s something sincere about her, a hint of something genuine. A longing, or a sadness. It comes across on screen and it’s even more apparent in real life.

My scene with her was for my series, Lesbian Psychotherapist. Her character and mine have a tense exchange after which she slips something into my drink that causes me to want to do whatever she says. Before the scene began, Stephanie sat alone on the couch studying a dozen or so flash cards on which she’d written her lines. While the rest of the cast and crew joked around with each other, she was preparing. Despite the fact that she’s worked on some of the biggest productions for the biggest studios in the industry, she obviously took my small budget film no less seriously. Stephanie explained that she liked scripts, she likes to act. She prefers having something interesting to say and do, along with the sex.

Stephanie is one of those stars, like Marilyn Monroe, who goes through a great metamorphisis when she turns it “on.” When I first met her, she was in “civilian” mode: no makeup, sweat clothes, frazzled from having been stuck in traffic. But something happens when she decides to become “Stephanie Swift.” She begins to radiate genuine, high voltage sex appeal — it’s not a put on, it’s not a con. It’s the real thing. She becomes breathtakingly beautiful, the fantasy you didn’t even realize you had, come to life.

“I’m not the blonde hair, blue eyed girl with the big boobs,” she told me once of her unique appeal, “but I’m the one you won’t be able to get out of your mind.”

When our sex scene began, I realized that I was nervous in a way that I generally am not. The reality of the situation hit me — I was about to do a scene with Stephanie Swift. Was I crazy? I wasn’t nearly in her caliber — what was I thinking? I was suddenly terrified that I was going to make myself look bad; or even worse, make HER look bad. My porn life suddenly flashed before my eyes. “Sydni Ellis Gets Overly Ambitious, Ruins Career” the next day’s adult trade papers would say.

As Stephanie and I began to kiss, I immediately relaxed. She’s known for her small, delicate mouth, but what isn’t as well known is how unbelievably soft her lips are. She kisses in a slow, sensual manner that most porn actresses don’t. Stephanie takes her time; truth and realism is her thing. I suddenly felt less like I was on a porn shoot and more like I was on a date. With someone I really, really liked. And perhaps even more importantly, with someone who liked me.

The rest of the sex scene is a blur in terms of who did what to whom. I just know that I had a real orgasm, which doesn’t always happen. And after the scene was over, I felt different than I usually do. I felt like I had a huge crush on Stephanie, and I also felt I was a better porn star than I’d given myself credit for. What scene was I afraid I’d ruin? I had just done the best scene of my career!

The wonderful thing about truly gifted stars like Stephanie Swift is that they make their partners look good. When you’re with them, basking in the glow of their reflected talent, you can claim some of the credit yourself. “I had something to do with this, too,” you say, and pat yourself on the back.

Of course, I did have something to do with it. I was fully involved in the scene, really into Stephanie, and didn’t fake a thing. But I was left with the suspicion that Stephanie had a large role in getting me to that place; in her understated, humble way, that she had allowed me to believe, for that brief period of time, that it was real. That’s what all great actors do, and porn stars should be no different. In Stephanie Swift’s case, her work is her art, and the validity of her approach is apparent. It’s why she’s in the Hall of Fame, and it’s why my scene with her is by far my most memorable.

Look for “Lesbian Psychotherapists 1″ coming later this month, from Girlfriends Films.

Much love,

Sydni Ellis
Director, Writer & Performer
sydniellisxxx@aol.com
SydniEllis.net

Watch Sydni now!