I know it’s been a while since I’ve done a column; life has been coming at me fast and furious lately, and it’s been all I can do to just catch my breath and keep moving. It’s not always a pretty sight, but at the same time I’ve really never been happier.

Most of my joy lately has come from the simple pleasure of talking to and corresponding with fans. What I’ve come to realize, not that it’s much of a surprise, is that the average porn viewer is much smarter and more thoughtful than most people like to believe. While most of us enjoy some form of pornography (or, for those of you who don’t like that word: “erotica,”) we still tend to make broad and unfair generalizations about the typical porn consumer. It reminds me of when I was a stripper — almost every customer would at some point say to me, “You must meet some real freaks and weirdos in your line of work.”

“Actually,” I would reply, “Most of them are just like you.”

Nobody ever thinks of adult entertainment enthusiasts as being “just like them.” For most of us, our love of porn is a little peccadillo, a harmless secret, a slight eccentricity in the personality of an otherwise normal, multi-faceted person. We don’t define ourselves by our love of erotica, yet we’re quick to define others by theirs. And it’s usually to discredit them: their opinions, their worth, their intelligence. It’s just another form of self hatred and deep seated shame. And it’s time to get rid of it.

I’m inspired more than ever lately to believe that’s possible, and that I’ll see it in my lifetime. As more intelligent, well adjusted people “come out” about their love and enjoyment of adult entertainment, the stigma attached to it becomes less powerful. The dozens of well written, thoughtful letters I get each day asking me to please continue writing story-driven erotic films and to emphasize dialogue tell me that people are ready to expect more from adult studios, and they’re not afraid to ask for it. The message is: “I’m not dumb. Please don’t give me a film that will make me feel stupid.”

I’m obviously new to the genre, and I have a lot to learn. But I have the rest of my life to get it right. And to all of the fans who take time out of their busy, full lives to give me feedback, ideas, suggestions, criticisms and support, please know how valuable it is to me and to Girlfriends Films.

Now that I’m back on track with my writing schedule, please check in next week when I’ll tell you all about the experience of being on Nina Hartley’s show (check it out May 29th! go to www.nina.com for details!) and my impressions of working with the spectacular Stephanie Swift, who will star in Girlfriends Films upcoming release, Lesbian Psychotherapists II.Much love,

Sydni Ellis
Director, Writer & Performer
Girlfriends Films
sydniellisxxx@aol.com
GirlfriendsFilms.com

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