Glad you’ve found this page; having safer sex is one of the most important things you can do to protect you and your partners from getting an STD/STI (sexually transmitted diseases and infections), and keep your sex life happy and healthy.

Firstly, it’s important to note that ANYONE can get an STI; anyone! People who haven’t had sex before, married people, people in committed relationships, people having their first time together, porn stars, your neighbors, everyone. HIV and all other STIs show up in every single race, gender and sexual orientation; they don’t discriminate.

Sex activities can be divided into 3 kinds of “danger zones”; low risk, medium risk, and high risk (things like hugging, massages, dry humping with clothes on and masturbating are in the danger-free zone). Risk is the risk of sharing/transferring/passing on/contracting an STI. These are all based on unprotected activities.

Some low-risk activities (little chance of getting/giving an STI):

*Kissing (lips, oral, all over the body except for the genital region)
*Manual stimulation (hand jobs, fingering, etc)
*Nude dry humping

Some medium-risk activities (definite exposure to an STI, possible transfer):

*Oral-genital sex (going down on a woman, going down on a man, ‘eating out,’ ‘blow jobs’)
*Frottage (a fancy word for rubbing a penis between the vaginal lips or ass cheeks)
*Oral-anal sex (licking the anus, ‘rimming’)

Some high-risk activities (way too scary a chance of getting/giving an STI):

*Penis in vagina sex
*Penis in anus sex (anal)

Depending on who you’re talking to, some people will put oral-anal and oral-genital sex in the high-risk category.

So what can you do to protect yourself from these STIs? Good question.

For blow jobs (mouth to penis), using a condom is your best bet. They make flavored condoms, flavored lube, etc. It does not feel that different, and to be honest, which feels worse; a condom on your penis or Chlamydia in your mouth? Some sex workers have even perfected the trick of applying a condom with their mouth, and usually, their clients never know the difference. If you put a little lube inside the tip of the condom before rolling it on, he’ll feel a lot more sensation.

As far as going down on a lady or rimming an asshole (and by that, we mean anus, not a jack ass), you should go for a different barrier approach. The best idea for this is a dental dam (a latex sheet), a condom (unlubricated… non-flavored lube tastes icky) cut in half length wise, a latex (or latex free) glove with the fingers cut off and cut open at the thumb, or a piece of non-microwavable plastic wrap (the microwavable kind is porous enough to let the infections through). Place your barrier of choice over your partner’s genital area or asshole with a little lube on the side against them (it’ll feel tons better). Put some flavored lube on the side where your tongue goes, and lick away!

Ready for some vaginal intercourse? Same deal with the condom as with oral sex. A little lube in the tip beforehand goes a long way in making sex feel just as awesome! Some lube on the outside too (or applied to her vagina) can feel amazing, and will make it less likely the condom will break.

Anal sex? SAME DRILL (better start buying those condoms in bulk!). Lube is very important in anal sex, because there is a lot of friction, and no one wants their condom to break. In the tip, and in the ass, lube becomes your best friend!

Condom tips:

*NEVER double bag (use two condoms)! The friction of having two rubbing against each other really increases the chance that BOTH will break, making it riskier.
*Keep a condom in a place with a relatively normal temperature. Leaving it in the sun, in your wallet up against the heat of your body, or your glove compartment (ever see Grease?) can cause it to become brittle and useless.
*DON’T use any lube that has oil in it (massage oil, lotion, Crisco, Vaseline, you name it), because it will cause the latex to literally dissolve. As in melt. As in no protection provided, and now you have melting latex all over.
*Lube = your friend. Buy it, use it, love it.
*Condoms come in tons of varieties; try a bunch and find the ones that you like best. Then keep using them.
*If going from vaginal sex to anal sex, or vice versa, always use a new condom!
*Lastly, when you’re done with your condom, take it off, tie a not in the end, and THROW IT OUT. Do not flush it down the toilet (that might be an awkward clog to explain to a plumber) and don’t leave it where pets or kids could get a hold of it.

In a monogamous relationship, and want to have barrier-free sex? Time to get tested. Both you AND your partner. Lots of places do testing; health clinics, your doctor, Planned Parenthood, etc. Get a full panel; Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HPV (genital warts), syphilis, hepatitis B, HIV, etc (the doc can check you out for lice while you’re there). Just remember that certain STIs take a while to show up, so if either of you has had unprotected sex with a different partner recently, you may have to wait 6 months (or more) to be sure that you don’t have HIV. Once you both have a clean bill of health (and a trusting relationship), have at it. Just remember, if one of you has a penis, and one has a working set of ovaries, even if your tests are all negative, you should still look into some form of birth control or contraception, unless you want to welcome a little one in the near future.

As a side note, some people are allergic to latex. Lucky for them, several brands make hypo-allergenic polyurethane condoms; these are fine to use. Sheepskin condoms on the other hand do NOT prevent the transfer of STIs. There is now a female condom available as well (it has two rings inside a polyurethane sleeve; one ring goes up inside the vagina, the other sits outside, and the penis goes in the condom). It stays safe even if the man loses his erection, and is great for those allergic to latex. It’s important to remember never to use both the male and female condom together.

Alright folks, that’s it for now. Way to go with being safe and protecting both yourself and your partner. Wishing you lots and lots of great (and safer!) sex,

Essin’ Em