It’s official. Using the internet to get off is standard game. I know because I work in Internet porn. Duh. I’ve seen the stats, and I can honestly say that hordes of people are logging on to get off. Now, that’s not a bad thing, of course. It’s a fabulous, wonderful thing. In fact, it’s the first thing most people think of when they talk about sex and technology. Go us! But sometimes, just sometimes, all sorts of other technology is left in the wayside of Internet and forgotten about when it comes to getting busy. But what about that rectangle of connectivity in your pants pocket? No, not your Palm Pilot, Treo, PDA whatever - I’m talking about your cell phone! While most of the newer phones have Internet access and a whole heap of other applications and settings, it’s the non-preset, extra-curricular uses that make this geeky girl all hot and bothered. And best thing about it? Not only are cell phones fairly universal, they are mobile (duh). You can use your cell phone anywhere! Your house, at work, or even at the airport (where I am now). So check out this guide to getting’ sexy via cell phone!
Phone sex is the obvious starter. Whether you’re on vacation or just in the next room, dialing in an orgasm can bring you to a whole new level of intimacy. Think about it: how much do you really focus on your partner’s breathing and moaning? This gives you the chance to actually hear just how sexy their sounds are. And the whole not touching each other thing makes it even hotter when you do get to actually join forces. Oh, and love your Bluetooth Headsets. Sure, the little cockroach-looking devices that hook onto your ear are awesome when you’re folding laundry or carrying bags, and a necessity to keep your hands on the wheel while driving. But that about other activities when you want to keep your hands free while you’re on the phone? Yep! This little bugger is perfect for phone sex! Like it was meant to be! Even better than speakerphone because the other person’s voice is directly in your ear, almost like they are next to you. Just don’t leave it on during actual face-to-face sex. It’s tacky.
Onward to Sex Messaging! Ok, it’s text messaging really, but I think the former sounds so much classier. Sometimes you can’t just slip away for a rousing roll in the telephone lines. Insert text messaging here as an awesome way to get your heart racing and your fingers worked out. Try a racy midday text letting your partner know exactly what you plan to do to them when you get home from work. It’s really a great medium when you want to penetrate your partner’s mind to get them hot, but not totally ditch your 2pm department meeting. And best of all, you can get as dirty as you want because unlike emailing from company computers, no one is nosing through your backlog (well, unless that’s what you’re texting about…)! This party holds no responsibility for any thumb injuries that may occur. Standard text messaging rates apply.
An added bonus to the Sex Messaging experience is putting your cell phone on vibrate and keeping it your pocket or, better yet, your lap. Have your partner call you over and over without picking up, or self serve by calling from a land line, second cell, or whatever else you have access to. Don’t have a second phone? Check the web for sites where you can send text messages to cell phones for free. Then send yourself a bunch.
Plus, just a few added benefits of the recent uber-connectivity of phones are:
- Most newer phones double as mp3 players. Create a mix that makes you want to get busy. Listen to it on your way home from work to get you in the mood the minute you step in the door.
- Because the Internet is available on many phones, Internet porn is now accessible via cell! Waiting in line at the DMV will never be boring again!
- OhMiBod works great with a iPod, so I bet it would work wonders with an iPhone as well!
Whatever way you use your cell, just remember that phoning it in can be a totally hot and enjoyable way to get busy, either solo or wirelessly connected to a buddy. So step away from the computer for five minutes (but not any longer than that – don’t forget about your friends in Internet porn!) and get your dial tone going with something a little more analog!
Have Fun!
-J.D. Bauchery
